NOTE: This is my first songfic, it's inspired by the song How to Save a Life by The Fray. I guess it's a one-shot, too. There's kind of a long intro before it actually gets into the song, but after that I think it gets going all right. OK, so basically the setup is that Beast Boy is depressed about losing Terra (as always), and he thinks that no one is left who cares about him like that. Meanwhile, Raven receives a telepathic message from one of Beast Boy's "emotions" (his common sense), who proceeds to guide her through a conversation with the changeling. Will life-altering secrets be revealed? Well, you have to read to find out, of course! There's kind of a long intro before it actually gets into the song, but after that I think it gets going okay. Well, enjoy (hopefully)!
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How to Save a Life
by: IHOP
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how
to save a life
Beast Boy gazed out the window of his room into the night sky. It was very clear and black, and the moon was nearly full. It reflected a pale yellowish light, and to the changeling it looked like a giant boulder amid the blackness.
It was nights just like these that would remind Beast Boy of her, of Terra, the slender, earth-wielding blonde that he had fallen for but a few short years ago. He had found true love then, or so he had thought, but the romance had not lasted long, for Terra, through a misunderstanding, joined forces with the villainous Slade as his apprentice. After finally realizing the error of her ways, she had redeemed herself by saving Beast Boy and the other Titans, but at the cost of destroying herself. She was thought to be gone forever, but after some time, Beast Boy found her again. However, it was not Terra, not the one he had known; she had no recollection of her experience with the Titans or even of her powers. From that point, Beast Boy had attempted to move on with his life, but some small part of him always felt partially responsible for not doing more to prevent her from taking a fatal turn in her life.
And on nights like this one, when the moon was waxing full and emitting its pallid gleam, this feeling conquered his thoughts.
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Although it was well into the depth of the night, footsteps still paced the floors of Titans Tower. Raven enjoyed wandering leisurely through the tower at night, as the darkness and silence were comforting to her. She had just descended from the roof and entered the kitchen to prepare a soothing cup of herbal tea before finally returning to bed. Slowly, the sorceress sipped her drink, savoring every drop, as if each were its own precious entity.
After consuming the remainder of her tea, Raven entered the hallway towards her room; hers was the last room in the hall, and she passed by the rooms of each of the other Titans as she walked.
Suddenly, she heard some sort of noise in the distance. Or rather, she sensed some sort of noise. The empath determined almost immediately that she was receiving the vibes of an emotion, or so it appeared. But this emotion was not just speaking to her, as it were; rather, it seemed to be screaming for her, as if imploring for her assistance.
Gradually the sound became clearer and more audible, and Raven could understand what it was communicating: 'Help! Somebody, please!' She instantly recognized the voice.
'Beast Boy?' Raven whispered mentally. She whirled around to discover that she was standing a few feet from her teammate's door.
'Raven, is that you? Can you hear me?' the voice continued, responding to her thought.
'Yes, I can hear you,' Raven's thoughts answered hesitantly. 'Are you... is this Beast Boy?'
'Yeah, it's me, but just a part of me,' was what she heard in return. 'It's kinda hard to
explain, but... I guess you would say that I'm Beast Boy's common sense.'
To this, Raven considered a sarcastic remark to the effect of her not knowing that Beast Boy even had common sense. However, understanding fully the inner workings of the mind and emotions, and hearing the urgency of its tone, she resisted. Instead she asked, 'Beast Boy's common sense? Why are you calling out like this?'
The voice quickly elaborated. 'You know how I—well, how Beast Boy gets really depressed about Terra sometimes?'
Raven's thoughts signaled the affirmative.
'Well, I think it's getting more serious now. He's built up so much stress about it over time that he doesn't listen to me anymore. I can't get through to him now, and I'm afraid of what he may do when he's this emotional.' There was silence for a moment. Then the voice continued, 'So, I need you to talk some sense into him for me.'
Raven drew back somewhat in surprise. 'Me? Why do you want me to talk to him?'
'Because you're the only one who can hear me. And you know better than anybody how to keep control of your emotions.'
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I don't think he'll listen to me. He almost never does. I don't think I'm up to dealing with him tonight.'
'I know he'll listen. Besides, you have to try. I'm serious, he might really hurt himself over this.'
Raven suppressed a small gasp as she considered what she had just heard. 'I... I had never thought it would be that bad... All right, fine. I'll do it.' Still a little skeptical, she approached the door of the changeling and was about to knock. 'But I'm not really great at this sort of thing. I don't know what to say.'
'Don't worry about that. Just go ahead and knock,' the voice reassured.
Step
one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down it's just
a talk
Raven knocked on Beast Boy's door. She heard him say to come in, and the door opened as if responding to his words. He expressed slight astonishment when he realized who—of all people—had knocked on his door.
"Beast Boy... can we talk?" Raven asked, still somewhat reluctantly.
The changeling rose to meet her, but she gently stopped him.
"No, sit down. I'll come in," she offered. He resumed his position on his bed.
He
smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Beast Boy allowed a soft smile to appear on his face to mask his sadness and greet his friend.
Raven stepped beyond the threshold of his room, not shifting her gaze from him. The door slid closed as she walked.
Some
sort of window to your right
Raven walked toward Beast Boy's bed and faced him. She discreetly shifted her eyes around the room to observe her surroundings. She immediately noticed a large, rectangular window almost directly to her right. From where she stood, she had a good sense of their high altitude through the opening, and she suddenly felt abnormally short of breath.
"So..." Raven began, still unsure of what she should say, but feeling prodded by the desperate voice in her mind, "are you feeling all right?"
The changeling stared confusedly for a moment, his smile just beginning to fade. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Me? Well, um—sure!" he forced a small laugh. "Why wouldn't I?"
Raven tried to choose her next words carefully. "Well, it's just that... I'm very in tune with the emotions of others, and I sensed..." Her next question was worded with slightly less care. "Have you been thinking about Terra lately?"
'Way to go and blow your cover, Raven!' She slapped herself mentally for her error.
As
he goes left and you stay right
Beast Boy's countenance slowly changed into a frown. "I... what do you mean?"
"I mean," Raven tried to cover for her mistake, "well, just... you've seemed a little upset lately, and I thought that maybe—"
Raven cut herself short when she noticed Beast Boy inch slightly to his left. She glanced precariously at the large window again and shuddered to herself. But visibly she didn't move a muscle.
Between
the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
"Raven, what are you saying?" It was very minute, but Raven could sense his tone becoming increasingly accusing and defensive.
Her dread was surpassed by frustration; she closed her eyes, folded her arms, and moaned under her breath. 'Oh, what am I doing here?! This is pointless. He's just being difficult, and I'll only end up starting a fight. I don't want to deal with this.'
Raven was about to turn around and leave the room, but then she heard the all-too-familiar voice shouting in her head. 'Stop! Please, you can't leave!'
Where did I go
wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And
I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save
a life
'Look, I know it may seem like nothing right now,' the voice continued, 'but you have to get him to listen to reason. And if the worst happens, you'll never be able to forgive yourself; trust me, I know. If I could have had the chance to just talk to Terra, knowing what I know now, I would have done anything I could to bring her back from Slade's control sooner... and then she wouldn't have had to... give up her life.' There was sorrow in the imploring voice now. 'Please, keep trying, you've got to save him—me—from the same fate.'
'Okay,' Raven sighed, now with more fear than before. 'I'll try again. Maybe he can still be reasoned with.'
Let
him know that you know best
'Cause after all you do know best
"Listen," Raven turned to face Beast Boy once more. "I think I can understand some of what you're going through. I know more than anybody what it's like to feel like you're fighting a losing battle with your emotions. You know that. But trust me, you can regain control. You can't let them win."
Try
to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Beast Boy shook his head. "Raven, you've got it all wrong. I'm all right. I not losing control or anything like that. I can handle it."
'He's in denial,' the recurring voice warned Raven. 'He's put up a wall to keep you and everybody else out. You have to find some way to get through to him.'
Lay
down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
Pray to God he hears you
"Beast Boy, you say you're all right, but your actions are telling everybody differently. You act like a perpetual mope now, sulking around the tower whenever we pass Terra's school on the way back from a battle. You get upset and start fights with the others for no reason." Raven paused for a moment to take a breath, realizing she had not noticed any of this until mere moments ago. "I've told you several times that people come and go and you have to move on with your life, even if it's hard."
There was silence for a short instant, but it felt like an eternity. Beast Boy glanced at the ground blankly, but Raven fixed her eyes on the changeling, thinking to herself, 'I wonder if he's even listening to me.'
And
pray to God he hears you
Beast Boy simply murmured, "You're wrong."
Raven drew back. 'No...'
Where did I go
wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And
I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save
a life
Raven's
fears were growing, and she felt her own emotions growing more
difficult to suppress. 'What can I do now?' She
tried to regain control. 'Easy, now, I just have to calm
down. There's got to be some way to make him listen.'
"Beast Boy—" Raven finally spoke up, but she was abruptly cut off.
As
he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one
last choice
"No! You're wrong, Raven!" Beast Boy rose from his bed, and his voice had risen almost to a shout. "Some things just don't work like that. Some things are just too important to just move on."
"Calm down," Raven advised, her voice becoming softer as his became harsher.
Drive
until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
"The way I see it," Raven continued firmly, "you can never get over it and sit around and mope like this for the rest of your life; or you can come to terms with what has already happened and join the rest of the world again."
Beast Boy paused at Raven's ultimatum.
He
will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or
he'll say he's just not the same
After several moments, Beast Boy turned from her and stated spiritlessly, "I'm sorry, Raven, but I'm just not the same as I was before. The naïve, innocent Beast Boy left when Terra's memories did."
And
you'll begin to wonder why you came
At this, Raven gasped and all of her hopes sank. She was angry, frustrated; but more than that, she felt utterly defeated. Her eyes moistened, and she couldn't bear to face him.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how
to save a life
'So, is this it? Have I failed?' Raven's thoughts whirled through her head as though in a hurricane.
'No! You can't give up!' the familiar voice called to her once more. 'There is one more way. Since you can't get him to listen to his head, get him to listen to his heart.'
'What?' Raven was confused, but she didn't like what her guide seemed to be implying.
'Just remind him of all the people who care about him. The whole team. He needs to remember that he's still important to someone in this world.'
Raven was still skeptical, but she was also desperate enough to try anything under the present circumstances.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how
to save a life
Raven took a deep breath. "Beast Boy, I know Terra was very close to you, but she wasn't the only one who ever cared about you. What about Robin, Starfire, Cyborg—"
How
to save a life
She was again cut off by Beast Boy. "But that's different. To Terra I was someone important, I was strong and funny; she counted on me to protect her, and she could tell me anything and trust I would keep it a secret for her."
Raven turned to face him, still fighting the tears that were not quite yet visible. "I'm sure that, out of all the people in the world, there's someone else who feels those things about you. What if there was someone else like that?"
Beast Boy turned toward Raven and looked squarely at her for the first time that night. "Who else will there ever be like that?"
How
to save a life
"Well," Raven began, not consciously aware of what she was saying, "what if it was me?"
Where did I go wrong, I
lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would
have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Beast Boy didn't blink, out of astonishment. "Raven... is that true?"
"What if it was?" she replied, becoming defensive from her embarrassment.
Beast Boy glanced out his window, which was now directly behind him, and gasped silently. Then he returned his gaze to Raven, who waited apprehensively.
Where did I go wrong, I
lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would
have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Suddenly, Raven felt two arms grasp her in a powerful embrace. After a moment, she returned Beast Boy's hug.
"Thank you," he whispered.
They spent what was left of the night staring out his window at the fading moon and the rising Sun.
How to save a life
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There it is. Did you like it? I hope so, but it doesn't really matter because I'm happy with it (I think).
Please review. Praise appreciated. Constructive criticism welcomed. Flames understandable/expected, but I don't really want to hear them, so please keep them to yourself.