A/N: Here you go, guys! Keep up the reviews. Love Kim/Mystical Faeries

Disclaimer: In my most obsessive state Grey's Anatomy owns me…

Chapter 4 "What You Want To See"

"You look awfully nice tonight, mom," said Cassy, acting innocent. "You're not going out are you?"

"What? Of course not. And I'm wearing jeans, there's nothing "awfully nice" about that."

"Hmmm. Well anyway. You're glowing." Meredith hit Cassy lightly with a rolled up magazine.

"Anyway, bed for you, miss." Meredith lifted up Cassy, despite the fact that the eight year old was almost too heavy for someone as slight as Meredith to pick up. She put her in bed, and lay beside her as she always had – and hoped she always would.

"Mom?" Cassy whispered.

"Mmm?" said Meredith, kissing Cassy's forehead.

"Nothing," said Cassy, changing her mind. "It was nothing. Sleep well."

Meredith got out of bed and blew Cassy a kiss from the doorway, just as her doorbell's shrill ring reverberated off the walls of the house. Cassy grinned to herself sleepily.

As soon as Meredith left the room, Cassy quietly hopped out of bed and stood at the top of the stairway.

"Thanks for inviting me," came Derek's voice.

"Like I had a choice. Come in," said Meredith, and she led Derek into her lounge room. Cassy silently padded down the stairs and smuggled herself into the linen cupboard. She peered through the louvre doors and found herself a good view of her mom and Derek.

- - -

"So," said Derek. "Cassy."

"Nope," said Meredith. "I want to know about Addison first." Derek shook his head slightly. "Not much to tell really," he said.

"Good. It wont take you long then."

"We got divorced. Seven years ago." Derek furrowed his brow. "After we moved back to New York."

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Meredith, trying to sound sincere. "Why?"

"We didn't love each other," said Derek. "Well…I didn't love her. And coming home was a chore for me. For her too," he added. "I guess I didn't realise we completely drifted apart in Seattle. I was blind to what was right in front of me."

"Right," said Meredith. "So why did you stay in New York?"

"I didn't. I came back didn't I?"

"Yeah, but after 8 years," pointed out Meredith. "What kept you in New York for that long?"

"My job. They needed me. And I met a lovely woman – Janine, and I tried to give her a shot."

"Oh?"

"We didn't work out. For some reason, I couldn't give myself completely. But enough of me. You need to tell me about Cassy." He emphasised the need.

"Not much to tell," said Meredith, lying. "She's born on March 11th. At Seattle Grace."

"Mer," said Derek seriously. "Please. Who's the father?" Meredith hung her head, and at that instant, Derek knew.

"She's mine? I fathered a child and you didn't tell me?" Derek looked hurt, angry and confused.

"You were with Addison!" exclaimed Meredith. "You'd made it pretty clear what you wanted and I didn't want to disrespect that."

"You think I would have been with Addison if I knew you were pregnant?"

"Derek, I thought you loved me. When you chose Addison how the hell did you think I felt? You shattered me into a thousand little pieces, and Cassy is the only thing that has helped put them back together. How could I have given you the satisfaction of fixing me? And, how was I to know you wouldn't ignore me anyway even with a child? You tore down all my walls, and that took a lot of work. I don't give myself easily. I gave myself to you and you threw it in my face. I wasn't going to have you throw my baby in my face too."

Derek looked hurt. "Meredith, you know how I felt – feel – about you. I chose Addison because I had an obligation to her. I told you how it felt that day at the dance, didn't I? You have always driven me crazy. And, Mer…why do you think I came back to Seattle? I had this pathetic hope that you'd be waiting for me. That you'd still be the intern I know you as. Not this fantastic surgeon; the best on the West Coast. Not a mother. You've changed, Meredith and I understand that. But I haven't changed. I still feel as strongly about you as I did then. And I have a daughter now. Whose life I've missed out on. Not anymore though, Meredith, okay? No more."

"No more," said Meredith quietly. "We'll work something out. Umm…I'm going to check on Cassy. You'd better go."

"Can I see her, please?" Meredith nodded, and Derek followed her upstairs.

Cassy's bed was empty. Meredith frantically searched Cassy's room, and her room. "Can you look downstairs?" she asked Derek, tears welling in her eyes, and Derek jumped the stairs two at a time, and searched the lower floor, opening cupboards, checking rooms, behind chairs. Finally, he opened the louvre doors, and saw Cassy, fast asleep with her head resting in the corner of the cupboard peacefully.

"Mer," he called hoarsely. "She's here." Meredith ran downstairs, her face streaked with tears. "Thank God," she said, watching as Derek picked her up and gently carried her upstairs.

"Do you think she heard?" asked Derek.

"Knowing Cassy…probably. Sneaky little thing. I'll talk to her tomorrow." Meredith looked relieved as Derek lay her in her bed.

"So that's what it feels like?" Derek asked.

"What what feels like?" asked Meredith, looking at Derek quizzically.

"Parental worry," clarified Derek, and Meredith laughed slightly.

"Yes," she smiled. "Get used to it."