AN: Hey guys, I have to thankyou all so much for your reviews, they're so encouraging! Hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to do it as realistically as possible, or at least how I think it would have played out so I hope it is okay. Please review!

Chapter 9: I Do The Best Imitation Of Myself

"Wait wait wait," said Derek, who had to gain his composure. Meredith, who was sitting beside him, took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. "Emerson…she's…she's mine?"

Addison hung her head, and Richard patted her back in an attempt to comfort her. She nodded, and Derek's grip on Meredith's hand tightened.

"Derek, I wouldn't have told you, honestly. I didn't want to ruin your life. I know you're engaged, and I know you have a daughter," said Addison, her eyes ever so slightly raised. "I came only because…"

"Well? Why did you come? You didn't even know about Cassy until yesterday! Until the competition!" Derek was frustrated; he didn't like upheaval. He was a very laidback man, and always opted (though not necessarily for the best) with the easy way out of any situation. He could handle a scalpel well, and it was that which made him a world-renowned Neuro surgeon, not his ability to make difficult decisions.

"Derek! Please be patient. Addison is getting to that, okay?"

"Wait." It was Meredith. "Addison, are you hear because of Emerson's cheeks?"

"I'm sorry?" Addison looked frustrated. "What about her cheeks?"

"They're yellow. Jaundiced. Is it something to do with that?"

"Thankyou," said Addison, smiling a smile of acknowledgement and respect to Meredith. "Yes, that is why I am here." Derek sat up, alert now. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Em. I'm telling you know because I need you to take some tests."

"Tests? What sort of tests?"

"Wilson's disease," said Addison, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Wilson's disease?"

"For God's sake, Derek stop repeating everything I say!" exclaimed an exasperated Addison. "Wilson's disease!"

"But…that doesn't…she's too young for…"

"Yes. Normally symptoms don't occur until puberty," said Addison. "But Emerson – it's aggressive. Obviously we both have the goddamn gene, because otherwise she wouldn't have it. But I few basic blood tests and such."

"Addison – if she's jaundiced," said Meredith, "Then the disease must be quite far along. Has she had any other symptoms?"

Addison's tears were flowing quite substantially now, and she turned around to check on Emerson who was sitting at Richard's desk and tapping away on his computer. Meredith realised that she wasn't as healthy as she first seemed. In fact, what looked like a sturdy child was bloating, she was awkward in her movements – very jerky and uncoordinated, and she had difficulty speaking, not like a stutter, more like a gauche manner. Addison nodded in answer to Meredith's question; Meredith was being far more helpful than Derek thus far.

"She had a splenomegaly – enlarged spleen, which is what first alerted me to her sickness. It was awful; she was screaming in pain, so she had a splenectomy. Like I said, it's aggressive. And her jaundice…well it's basically a sign that her liver is…her liver's…"

"Failing," said Derek. He ran a hand through his hair desperately.

"Derek, what I want, and I know it is a huge ask, but the donor list is huge. Unless I can get a voluntary donor, Em could be waiting for years. Your nieces – could they get tested? They might be a match. My niece Scout got tested. She wasn't a match – Emerson is B neg. And Scout matched 3 out of 5 points," explained Addison.

"3 out of 5 is enough," said Derek. "It's the minimum – but it's enough."

"And therefore has a higher chance of rejection that 4 or 5 points being met. Em's only eight, Derek. I want her to have an 86 chance of her body accepting a liver rather than a 68 chance."

"That I understand, Addie. But my nieces? They don't know Emerson. They're only young!"

"They were my nieces too, for a while Derek, and I love them. Emerson is their cousin, after all. Anyway, probably only Lila or Rachel would be close enough to Emerson physically anyway. Please Derek. I know you don't know Emerson. But this could give you an opportunity too."

- - -

Meredith sat with her back pressed against the hallway wall. The house was deathly quiet. Cassy was sleeping, like an angel as usual, and Derek was working. Her eyes were puffy, and her face was pinched. Crying pinched. She wasn't crying because Addison was back, or because she was jealous that Addison was back. Not at all. She was crying because for once, for once in her life, she actually knew where Addison was. When Addison and Meredith loved Derek at the same time, Meredith knew where Addison was, but she didn't understand it. Now, she understood it. And comprehension? Is like taking a knife by the blade.

Meredith was swamped with feelings. All kinds of feelings. She didn't know, because they'd been numbed. Her body had taken a figurative overdose of diazepam or similar. But when the drugs wore off? Needles. Her feelings felt like hundreds of needles piercing every inch of her body. Derek had numbed her. He made her feel like everything was okay. He was Cassy's dad, and he took her fly-fishing, and he sometimes tried to make her pancakes on the mornings she wasn't working. It didn't matter that they were the consistency of a plastic Frisbee. He was doing the right things. But she'd never really thought of all the wrong things he'd done before. How much he'd hurt her. He broke her. When she broke George, he wasn't broken. Not even nearly. Not the way Derek broke her. Since Derek left Seattle, Meredith hadn't had a relationship. She hadn't even had sex. And for Meredith, that was something. She'd had eight years of diazepam and now she was waking up.

The doorbell rang, and Meredith forced herself to hoist herself up and answer it. It was 9.30, and Derek wasn't due to finish till the morning. The glass door glinted with the hall light, but Meredith knew the faces from a mile away. She smiled, and opened the door. Despite the rain outside, the house was filled with warmth.

- - -

"We decided," said George, who was drinking a beer, "That we are slack people. 'We' being all of us. I work at Seattle Memorial. Izzie works at St. Matthews. Honestly, they're really not that far from here. And we see you, what? On the fourth of July and Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah," said Meredith. "I've been pretty freaking slack too. Anyway," she said, turning to Izzie, "How the heck is Alex?"

"He's good. He's doing his fellowship in Los Angeles. Better for plastics, and all. But you know, I still speak to him. We're good." Meredith nodded. "And have you guys heard from…" She was interrupted, however, by the doorbell ringing again. "I don't think I've had this many visitors since…I don't even know when!" exclaimed Meredith, getting up. She revisited the door, and was even more surprised to see Cristina.

"Okay, this is not just coincidence," Meredith decided. "What's happening?"

"McDreamy called," explained Cristina. "George and Izzie too, I gather? Well yes, McDreamy calls, I obey." Cristina laughed, and made her way into the living room, sitting herself between George and Izzie.

"Wait…McDreamy rang? As in, Derek?"

"Is there another McDreamy who pushes your buttons?" enquired Cristina mockingly.

"He does more that push buttons, Cristina," said Izzie teasingly. "Didn't he tell you? He's pretty freaking good at popping questions too!"

"What! Derek…proposed? And you didn't call me? Bitch! Aren't I your person?"

"No, I'm your person," said Meredith. "Yes he proposed. Did he mention how good he is at releasing X chromosomes too?" She said it slightly bitterly, although she didn't feel particularly bitter. She liked Emerson. She knew for sure Derek was hers. Addison didn't threaten her, either.

"Eh?" George looked confused. "Cassy?"

"Next time he calls, ask him about Emerson. That must be why he called you. Emerson. Addison's daughter. Addison's sick daughter. Whatever I have, Addison has it tenfold."

Okay, so maybe she did feel bitter. She took a swig of tequila.