Lying to Myself
Chapter 3: Tried and Tested
Authors Note: My favorite line so far is in this first section-said by Remus. Oh Remus! He sure does know a thing or two about comedic timing! I meant for this to be half drama but I think I like cracking jokes more often. Oh well. I might update slower now. Sorry.
James watched Lily Evans across the table. She was very beautiful this year.
Her hair was darker than usual and summer had given her a nice tan all over. She was petite, delicate. Her eyes were like the sea and the grass all at once. The corners of her glossy lips were entrancing.
She was sexy.
He wanted her. He knew from the moment she'd passed with her friends that he wanted to kiss those glossy lips and run his hands through that auburn hair.
The other girls had been easy. He'd just smiled and suggested they get to know each other a little better. There was Catherine, Marilyn, Jane, Katie, Amy, Laura and well, quite a few others whose names he couldn't quite remember. Not to mention spontaneous make-out sessions with several other girls. Evans, Moore, Finnigan, and Burns were pretty hot girls. It was only natural that James should find himself attracted to Evans. And he knew that he was the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts. All he had to do was figure out who he wanted and she was suddenly his for the taking.
Right now, he wanted Lily.
But for some reason, she was rejecting his affections. He'd tried the charm, the winks, the flowers, the grins. Was she playing hard to get?
"Oy Jamesy!" A hand slapped James on the shoulder and he snapped back round to the conversation taking place at the table.
James scowled,
"What!"
"You lost in another world?" Remus asked.
"Or lost in someone?" Sirius grinned, leering right at the group of girls Lily was situated in.
"Both," James replied, a little dully.
"Would she happen to have dark red hair?" Sirius teased.
James managed to grin wide,
"That sounds about right."
"Haven't you asked her yet? Get on with it already!"
"I have!" James frowned, surprised to hear himself admit a first defeat. He thought his charm would have won her over like all the other girls. Why was she different? What was wrong with him this year?
"Eh?" Sirius frowned.
"Why are you so upset then?" Remus asked curiously.
"Why aren't you off snogging somewhere!" Sirius asked incredulously.
"She….she….er, that is---" he cut himself off, turning white and frowning.
"Oh no. He's thinking!" Remus' eyes widened.
"He's hyperventilating!" Sirius panicked, grabbing him by the shoulders. "James! James!"
"Sod off!" James pushed him away, "I'm fine."
"Right. So Evans?"
"Um yeah. That." He frowned. The words came out of his mouth as if he were hearing them for the first time. It was a long moment. A moment that seemed to make time stand still. He was watching himself blurt out the words. He was surprised they could form. "She…..she-"
"Moving past she?" Remus asked carefully.
"…didn't say yes." James frowned.
Sirius stopped, clearly shocked, but also….curious? Remus, on the other hand, just laughed. Peter look confused, like usual.
"What the hell is so funny?" James looked irritated.
"You," he choked out. James waited patiently for him to stop laughing so he could continue. He hoped he would continue to explain himself or James'd have to sock him.
"You've finally met a girl that won't fall for you immediately and you're surprised?"
"Well-YEAH! I thought every girl in this school was in love with me." James threw up his arms. He thrust his fork into some pork chops and stuffed them in his mouth. Poor pork chops.
"I guess it would appear so," said Remus, "Your fan club does nothing for your ego."
"What ego?" James looked perturbed.
"I can't believe she didn't start snogging you immediately," Sirius still reeled in shock, "You're James Potter!"
"I know!" James spluttered.
Remus rolled his eyes at this and decided it was no use arguing against pride.
"Maybe there's something wrong with her," Sirius suggested, "Maybe she can't see very well."
"Maybe she's deaf," Peter suggested, "And blind."
"I just said that twirp."
"I doubt it," Remus looked over, "She seems just fine to me."
"There's always Moore. Or Boggs!" Sirius suggested.
"Hey!" Remus snapped, "I called her first."
"Which one?" Sirius taunted.
"No, I don't think so," James thought curiously.
"No, what? Do you like reds then? Cause Lorna knows---"
"No, I mean no, I don't want another girl. I still want Lily. She's hot! I mean, LOOK at her!"
"Dude. She said no," Sirius pointed out firmly yet somewhat sympathetically, "If you stop now and forget it ever happened, you'll be able to ----"
"No," James answered quickly and stubbornly, eying the redhead. "I want Lily. I'm going to have her. She's just playing hard to get."
"All right. Give it a week. But if she doesn't give in by then, just call her defective and move on," Sirius shrugged, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
"A week…." James repeated to himself, struggling within to organize his feelings, something he'd never had to do before for a girl. It was….different.
Lily had her first prefect meeting that night. She wasn't too thrilled about the additional work load but she felt very privileged to have the job and she was sure it would look good on her post-Hogwarts resume. She and Molly were the Gryffindor girl representatives so they left dinner early to find the room, located obscurely near the library.
As they passed the Marauders, Lily felt her head turning, only to meet James' curious hazel eyes. Her head snapped forward quickly, intensely focusing on the doors ahead.
She and Molly passed through the halls quickly. Molly was all business sometimes, but she was good-hearted and she liked to know exactly what she was doing.
"Arthur told me this was his second year as a prefect," Molly glanced quickly over at Lily.
"That's great!" Lily's face lit up, "We'll know someone when we get there."
"Do you think we're too early?" Molly stopped quickly, "I mean, I'm excited to get there, but I don't want to be the first one there. Let's slow our step a little bit."
So they slowed to a leisurely walk.
"Do you know where this is?" Lily asked. She was in a part of the castle she'd never been before. There were doors on either side of her and corridors as far as the eye could see.
"Of course I do," Molly stated.
"Good."
"Er—at least, I think I do."
"What?" Lily stopped cold, "Molls-what if we never get there because we get lost?"
"That would be tragic!" Molly whispered very seriously.
Lily had to laugh.
"What?" Molly asked quickly, innocently, "Lils-stop laughing at me! That's mean!"
"I'm sorry," Lily stopped quickly.
Molly gave a weak smile, slightly disappointed,
"Yeah. I guess we're being a little dumb. It won't matter if we miss one meeting, right?"
"No, but we ought to at least try," Lily looked determined, "Let's go….this way." She pointed to her left.
"Oh, don't go that way," a voice echoed through the hall.
"Why not?" Lily turned around. Molly furrowed her eyebrows,
"I didn't say that."
Lily spun around and saw Remus several paces behind them. As he neared them, he gestured forward,
"Keep going. We're almost there."
"Remus." Lily didn't know what else to say. Molly saw her friend freeze and interrupted quickly and briskly,
"Are you the Gryffindor boy for the 5th years? Oh, I thought you would be!"
"Really?" Remus looked intrigued as he took step with them down the hall. He seemed not to notice Lily's fright. After all, the red-haired beauty was often coolly collective of her self. "Why's that?"
"Because you're so smart." Lily seemed to have collected her calm.
"Oh, you're too kind," Remus slightly blushed.
"So who is the other Gryffindor prefect?" Molly asked curiously.
They had arrived at the door. It was much more noticeable. It was the only one open with a bright white light. It glared as if neon from the outside, but upon opening the door, there didn't seem to be any sign of any light source. But it was slightly lighter inside than out in the halls.
"Er, -James," Remus said, taking two empty seats next to Arthur Weasley.
"James!" Lily stopped. Molly's eyes had also widened, but she had a hint of a grin on her face. Lily wanted to pull it off her face right then and there. "What!" she challenged.
"Nothing!" Molly spluttered, "I was looking at Arthur. Seriously! Oh look! There's Amos! He must be Ravenclaws prefect. Of course it'd be him. Go take a seat next to him while I go talk real quick to Arthur, kay?"
"Don't be long," Lily warned, turning away.
Sure enough, there were two seats in front of Amos, saved for the two of them.
"Hi Lily! How are you?" Amos boomed, flashing a great grin.
"Good," Lily grinned, sitting down diagonal from him.
"Yes, yes. Are we all here?" McGonagall's voice roared from the front of the classroom, "Settle down now and find a seat so we can begin!"
Lily turned away from Amos to look at McGonagall but as her head swept the room, she saw James walk in. He paused at first upon seeing Lily, but then, in that cocky confident aura of his, strode into the room. He moved over to Remus. Remus leaned over, said a few words to James. Then, to Lily's horror, James spun around and started walking right toward her! Lily froze. Should she yell at Molly to get her butt over here? Should she---?
"Seat saved?" James flashed a smile, gesturing to the empty seat next to her.
Too late.
"Um, yes, actually---"
"Hey thanks!" James plopped down next to her.
"Er…..yeah. Wait no! I just said----!" Lily spluttered.
He ignored her as she went on, carrying a small conversation with Amos, who hardly noticed the awkward transaction.
She looked over, wide-eyed at Molly, who shrugged helplessly at her and took the seat next to Remus, who smiled and started a small conversation with him. Wanting to direct her anger at something, she began to scowl and pout at Remus. This was all HIS fault! What had he said to James just now!
It didn't matter though. McGonagall started talking and Lily slowly looked over. James had managed to turn his whole body and was very intent on staring at her. Their gazes met. She glared angrily,
"Stop staring at me! That's annoying."
"I can't help it," he grinned. Then, in that usually cocky arrogance, whispered again,
"Kinda bright in here, isn't it?"
"I'm not going to talk to you," Lily folded her arms and tried to concentrate on what McGonagall was saying. She knew it was no use. She'd just have to get notes from Molly or Amos.
Amos! She whipped around, only to be disappointed that he was diligently taking notes and whispering in between to the blonde seated next to him. Completely oblivious. What about the night before! Did her words now mean nothing! Or maybe it was all a conspiracy to force her in his presence.
She turned back to James, who grinned and whispered once more excitedly,
"Kind hard to take your eyes off me, eh?"
Lily let out a little "pffh" and snapped back to McGonagall. But she would not let him get the last word.
She turned back one last time to spit out angrily,
"I don't want your affections. Stay away from me. Stop bugging me."
As she turned back, she heard James say,
"Ouch. That hurt."
"Good," She replied quickly.
"Ah! I thought you weren't talking to me. Your plan hasn't worked very well. Maybe you should rethink your commitment."
"Stop it!" She hissed, turning back to him, "You're attracting attention to yourself."
"About time."
"Is there no comment you can take seriously?"
"Only what I want to hear."
"Well, that figures."
"What does that mean?" For the first time that night, he sounded a little more serious than joking.
She refused to answer, crossing her arms in front of her chest, and moving her chair up a little bit. The more she tried to concentrate on staring forward, however, the more she wanted to look back. Darn physics laws!
As the lecture ended on their new duties, Lily jumped up quickly, but a hand reached out and grasped her arm, preventing her from going further.
"What!" She spun around nastily.
"Lily!"
Oh no. It was Amos. He looked surprised and a little concerned,
"Are you all right? I didn't think McGonagall was such a powerful orator."
"Oh! No, Amos. I'm sorry—I thought you were James."
"Well----chill. He's not going to bite you or anything."
"Well, he annoys me," Lily responded quickly. "And you didn't see any of it."
"I heard your conversation though," Amos frowned. "You're awful jumpy lately, y'know? What's there to be nervous about?"
"I----I don't know. I just think it's James. Everything about him makes me nervous and jumpy. I don't like it."
"Really? Well, that makes sense. Is it the way you feel about him that makes you nervous and jumpy?"
"What? I don't know. I guess," Lily frowned.
"Well, hey, there's refreshments next door. Let's go find Molly and Arthur."
"Okay, sounds good," Lily followed him. It was as she exited the doorway that she turned around. She'd forgotten all about James. Where had he gone? Wait. Why do I even care?
And with that, she thrust herself into the next room, happy to see Molly and Arthur in a corner, having some hot chocolate and crisps.
"Frustrated?" Remus asked James as they walked back to the common room. They'd escaped the crowd. But not before snatching an entire bag of crisps. James was almost proud of how fast they'd been able to do it. He almost found it ironic that the meeting'd been for prefects and here they were, already breaking the law. What in the world had Dumbledore been thinking? Assigning him to be a prefect?
Only one thing could be seen from this besides the free access to halls and food after hours and that was Lily Evans.
"Why would I be frustrated?" James asked, looking at him.
"I was watching, you know. It didn't look like you were exactly scoring brownie points with Lily. You were right: she really doesn't like you."
"Oh shut up," James snapped, surprised at his own bitterness.
Remus stopped, shocked.
"Sorry Moony," James turned around quickly, "I---guess I just need a few moments to think. I need to come up with a plan. I know she seems like she hates me, but it's just a front. I could see it tonight."
"How's that?" Remus asked, curious, walking again with James.
"She kept turning to look at me. She's nervous and jumpy. For why, I don't know. But maybe I just need to keep getting under her skin to start cracking her."
"James, she's not an egg," Remus pointed out.
"I know. Remus—" James suddenly became very intense as he grabbed Remus by the shoulders, "I'm actually excited!"
"Huh?" Remus asked, both confused and scared.
"I've never met such a fierce girl so intent on hating me. I've never, ever, had to chase after a girl on my own. It just makes all my other flings so…..meaningless in comparison. They were just so easy to obtain. With Evans….I have to fight."
Remus probably stopped listening after James first started rambling on, but it didn't matter because James was now lost in his own determined thoughts.
He'd never felt so thrilled in all his life. Lily was a huge challenge. She required him to think and act carefully.
He decided right then that he liked challenges. Very much. And he was going to win her over in the end.
Disclaimer: Not mine. yadayada. All hail Joanne. Blessed women, blessed brain.
Hey! THANKS to my reviewers from last chappie (you guys are my fuel!): Fairy Love, cosmopolitan, Sapphire-Draco-Ice, Phillexican, An angel on ice and opalshine (Is this slang for moonshine? Are you drinking on the job? Shame. Haha. j/k.) You all rock!