Trowa pulled up into the driveway of the only house on top of Baker's Hill. The drive was filled with nothing but the sounds of the car and the wind as it whipped through the boys' hair. Trowa sat back in his seat and looked at Quatre through the corner of his eyes. The blonde looked upset.
Trowa sighed. "Listen, Quatre." Trowa said, facing the smaller boy. Quatre was staring at his hands in his lap. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean what I said earlier. It's just that I didn't even do anything to get you so angry with me. Or at least I don't think I did. I just-"
"Wait. It's okay. I deserved it."
"No you didn't."
"Yes, I did." Quatre sighed. A minute of silence passed before he continued. "I was rude…I admit that." The blonde looked at Trowa in the eyes. "But you have to understand what I've been through to see why I act the way I do. To see why I push people away…" He looked back down at his hand. Quatre sighed again and climbed out of the car.
Trowa watched the smaller boy walk to the porch. 'Quatre…wait…'
Quatre slowly stopped with one foot on the wooden porch and turned to look at Trowa.
The brunette blinked. 'Did I say that out loud?' He got out of his car and walked over to Quatre who sat down on the far side of porch swing. Trowa sat at the opposite end, before glancing up to see a spectacular view of the city. Compared to the lively streets and child-filled neighborhoods, the Winners' home was the ideal place for peace. But at the moment, Trowa was racking his brain, trying to find something to say to the blonde.
"It's not like I want to push people away…" Quatre said quietly, more to himself than to his companion. "It's just easier this way." He looked up at Trowa. "I've been to six different schools in the past four years…"
"Six?" Trowa said surprised. "But why?"
Quatre looked back at his hands. "Like you said, no one wants me around. So it's easier for my to push people away than to be hurt when I leave."
The tall boy noticed Quatre shiver slightly. He took of his jacket and wrapped it around the smaller boy's shoulders, startling the blonde.
They gazes met again. "Uh, thanks." Trowa just nodded. "So say something about yourself." Quatre said, curiously.
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Anything. I've heard a lot about you and I wanna know what's true."
"Well…what have you heard?"
"Basically that you live a perfect life. You're rich, popular, smart, athletic…"
Trowa scoffed. "You forgot lonely."
"Lonely? But you've got people all around you."
"People who only know me for my accomplishments or for my family. No one knows me for me."
"What about your friends?"
"Most of them only like me for my looks or my family's money. I'm not really close to any one of them. Sometimes, I don't even want to go to school so I won't have to face their fake smiles."
"There's no one you're close with?"
"Well, there's Duo and Heero. They're probably the closest friends that I've got."
"What about your family? Aren't they there for you?"
"My father works all the time. I only see him on weekends or when he has a day off. My mom…I don't see her all that much either."
"What about Catherine?"
"My mother took Cathy with her when she divorced my father. Cathy's the only one that I can say really knows me, but I hardly see her. Especially since she's working with my father, now."
"Oh…I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I guess I'm used to it by now."
Though it was dark out, Quatre could see the pain in the other boy's eyes. He knew what it was like to be lonely. He'd felt more alone over the past four years than he had over the course of his life. Sensing that it would be an ideal time to change the subjects, he did.
"So what's your favorite color? Mine's green."
Trowa glanced at Quatre, wondering why the change but also grateful he had done so. He didn't really like talking about his life. "Mine's teal. A mix of my other two favorite colors, green and blue."
"Hmmm. Teal…"
"What about it?"
"It reminds me of my mother." Trowa gave Quatre a questioning look. "Her eyes were teal."
"Like yours." Quatre nodded in response. "What happened to her?"
"She died when I was born..."
"I'm sorry."
Quatre simply shrugged. "I never knew her so I don't really know what's it's like to have lost her. I've only seen her in pictures. She looks just like Iria except that she has my eyes."
Trowa nodded in understanding. "So I've heard that you're originally from California. What was it like there?"
"Well, I'm actually from Arabia but I moved to California when I was only a few months old. I lived there up until a few years ago. It was nice there. There was always something to do."
"Sounds nice."
Quatre sighed. "…It was."
Trowa spotted the pained expression across his companion's face. He racked his brain for something else to talk about just as the blonde had done for him earlier. "Arabia, huh? I would have never guessed it. Are your parents Arabian or were you just born there?"
"My mother was Arabian."
"Really? And she had teal eyes?"
Quatre chuckled. "I know. It's kinda weird. Not many Arabs have teal eyes."
"Not many anything else have teal eyes."
He chuckled again and looked up at the taller boy. "What're you?"
"French."
"Oh. I love the language. I wanted to take it a few years ago but the class was already full when I got there. Do you speak any French?"
Trowa nodded. "Tu est très beau. Je pense que je tombe dans l'amour avec vous."
Quatre blinked. "What did you just say?"
The brunette shrugged. "Oh nothing. So what was so wrong that you had to change schools so many times?"
"I guess I'm what's so wrong."
"Huh?"
"Well…I guess it all started the day people found out something about me. It was the middle of the school year, and some guys thought it would be fun to put me in the hospital. So they did."
"My gosh…"
"My dad got me out of that school and into another for the rest of that year. But when the people there found out about me, they did the same thing but only doubled my time in the hospital."
"Oh man…what was so bad that they would beat you up about it?"
"Well…" Quatre started hesitantly. He looked at Trowa, wondering what his response would be. "I'm gay."
Trowa blinked with surprise and looked at Quatre. "What, really?"
The blonde's defenses shot up again. "You got a problem with that?"
Trowa calmly looked off into the distance. "Actually, no. I don't. You just caught me by surprise."
Quatre dropped his guard again. "So you're not homophobic?"
The brunette looked back at the other boy. "Of course not. I'm bi."
It was Quatre's turn to blink in surprise. "Really?"
Trowa nodded. "I could care less about gender so long as there's love there."
"Hmm…" Quatre purred in agreement. The two sat in silence thinking over their newfound knowledge of each other. "You know…you're making it really hard for me to push you away."
Trowa looked directly into Quatre's eyes. "Then stop pushing and just accept my friendship."
"But I'm tired of getting hurt-"
"I'm not out to hurt you, Quatre."
"Not on purpose. But with college right around the corner, it'll make it hard to leave people behind and it'll hurt."
"Quatre, just because you're not with someone physically doesn't mean that they're not there. You can always call or write. Sure, you're gonna miss them, but you'll meet up again one day if they mean that much to you."
Quatre looked back out into the distance and slumped into the swing. "Well…Don't I feel stupid…"
"What? You mean you've never thought of that before?"
Quatre just grinned sheepishly. "I never thought I'd stay around long enough to get too attached to anyone, anyway. So I stayed away from most people which wasn't all that hard since I didn't know anyone to begin with."
"So you had no friends? No one you could trust?"
"Sort of. They were people who just wouldn't give up on getting me to open up. They'd stick around me a bit but I never really felt like opening up to them, afraid of what might happen if I did. As a matter of fact, Duo and Heero are probably the first people I've opened up to after…" he trailed off, a pained expression flashed across his face again.
Trowa wanted Quatre to continue but didn't want the smaller boy to relive anything that could have caused him such pain. He'd be happy with the fact that Quatre opened up to him at all, even just a little.
Quatre looked at the palms of his hands in his lap. "Trowa? Have you ever had a friend that you thought you could trust everything with?" Trowa nodded, thinking Catherine not only being his sister but probably his best friend as well. "Well, that was what Christian was to me. We were the best of friends. We grew up together, told each other secrets, completely trusted one another. But…during our freshman year back in California, I came out to him." Quatre shut his eyes and clenched his fists. "He…he was disgusted. He said that he couldn't believe that he was friends with a fuckin' queer. He threw twelve years of friendship down the drain and tossed me aside. The next day at school, Christian told everyone about me. A lot of people were just as disgusted as he was and decided to do something about it. So they did. My life went downhill from there." The blonde shuddered and pulled Trowa's jacket tighter around his small frame. He fought back tears that dared to surface, but it was a losing battle. But the next thing he knew, Trowa's arms were wrapped around him, rubbing his back gently.
"I'm so sorry Quatre."
There was nothing but concern and sincerity in Trowa's voice and Quatre knew it. The tears came at full force now and the blonde leaned into Trowa's body, his head resting at the cradle of the other's shoulder.
"It's okay…Nothing like that will happen to you here…I'll make sure of it…"
Trowa continued to whisper consoling words to the distraught boy's ear as he kept rubbing his back in calming motions. It was there that Trowa made a vow to himself that he would do what he could to protect Quatre from any more pain. He never wanted to see tears fall from his angel's face ever again.
Quatre basked in this comfort he received from Trowa as the rush of emotions flew through him. It was draining him physically, mentally, and emotionally. All of his bottled feelings shot through to leave nothing but this comfort.
It could have been minutes or hours that passed but neither knew nor did they care. When Quatre's tears died down, he slowly pulled away from Trowa and looked up at the other boy. Trowa offered Quatre a comforting smile. Quarter smiled lightly in return.
'I don't understand you.' Quatre thought. 'I push you away only to have you pushing back to get closer. Then, I'm rude to you again only to have you comforting me. And even now, I can't explain this feeling I'm having with you so near. What is this feeling?' The small boy stared into Trowa's emerald irises, hoping to find the answer there. Then it hit him. 'Could it be…it can't…it just can't…' Quatre tore his eyes away from Trowa's and stood abruptly.
"Quatre?" Trowa asked, worry evident in his tone.
"I'm sorry. I just realized how late it's getting. I should get inside and you should be getting home, too." The blonde walked over to the front door and paused. He turned to face Trowa. "Good night, Trowa."
Trowa nodded and stood. "Goodnight, Quatre." He smiled before heading towards his car.
"Trowa?" The brunette turned and looked at Quatre. The blonde ran up to the taller boy and threw his arms around his waist, snuggling his head in closer to his chest. Trowa, after getting over the initial shock, wrapped his arms protectively and comfortingly around Quatre. "Thank you, Trowa…" he whispered.
"Anytime…"
Quatre pulled away and hurried to the door. Once again, he paused and turned to face Trowa. Then, Quatre offered to Trowa his heart-warming smile that definitely warmed Trowa's. The blonde waved slightly. Trowa smiled and waved a final goodnight in return. Quatre turned around again and went inside.
Trowa felt his insides warm as his smile grew. He literally hopped into his car. Suddenly, he couldn't wait for school to come on Monday.
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters but I do own Christian even though I'm not all too proud to say so.
If you didn't notice the whole "what's your favorite color" subject change is also in Itine. Heh. I just thought I should share that bit of info with you. I don't know what else to say. Thanks to all who read and review. Questions, comments, leave a review! Or e-mail me. Rah.
Oh and the french Trowa speaks translates to: You are very beautiful. I think I'm falling in love with you. My French isn't real good so if there are any French speakers out there who can translate better than I can, help me! Heh.