Beyond Words
Rating - T
(A/N: This story is set after the Order of the Phoenix, but before The Half-Blood Prince)
FLASHBACK
1st June 1982
Hogwarts
Richard, Olivia, Luella, Maggie and Dominic sat in silence on the centre lawn. Ironically, the sun was shining, but it didn't help lift the students from the widespread depression. Yesterday was May 31st and the thing that they had been dreading most, had hit them with a bang. Today, was June 1st and instead of it being a normal day, it would be a memorial service for Anita Fawcett. Classes had been put on a temporary shutdown. Looking around, people were in dumb silence. Anita's friends were crying, over their loss. Teachers were wearing all black to show their respects. The friends of Stuart Murray, Janet Vice and Debbie Wells feared the worst. The hope of finding all three students alive and well was shattered. Nothing could be said to make anyone feel better. Many of the students were scared.
Scared that they would be next...
The six friends kept to themselves that day. June was a bad month anyway with their O.W.L examinations, but the shock of Anita's death shot them into further sadness. Richard sat and fiddled with the grass, unable to speak. Talking was his strong point, yet he had nothing to say. His head throbbed with a terrible hangover, but he kept it to himself, as it would be selfish to complain. Olivia kept her eyes on the ground, unable to look at anyone for the tears in her eyes. She was a sensitive soul and seeing anyone cry, made her cry. Maggie was rubbing her arms. It was hot, yet she felt cold. Her black hair hung down her shoulders, hiding her face from the world. She felt guilty for drinking last night. Dominic sat with his robes draping around his shoulders. His mind was pulsing with questions. The question 'Are we next?' hung in his mind, failing to go away. Luella's eyes followed the people walking past. She had seen Anita around the school and the fact that she was gone had not sunk in for Luella. She played around with her brown hair, which was once in a neat bun. Burton sat, staring into nothingness. He was sweating slightly and kept rubbing his hands. The silence was becoming too much for him.
"So..." Burton chirped, "Classes have all been cancelled?"
Richard sighed. "Yes, Burton. If you ever listened in morning announcements, you would know...Actually, come to think about it, where were you last night?"
Burton stared Richard cold in the eye. "I...was...in my bed, like I normally am!"
Richard glared back at Burton and then looked back at the grass. He normally trusted Burton, but something didn't make sense to Richard...
Luella shook her head. "I can't believe it. I won't believe it! What sick person would do such a thing?"
"I know who would, but it's not possible. He's dead" said Dominic, tearing the grass in his hands.
"I hope the person who did that to Anita rots in hell for what they did to her!" Maggie exclaimed.
"I think everyone thinks the same way as you do, Maggie" Olivia said quietly
"Well, I know what I'd do to the foul low-life scum who did it..." Richard whispered
"Do you think we should pay respects to Anita's friends or something?" Luella sighed
"I don't think its our place to do that, Lu" Dominic said putting an arm over Luella.
"But I feel like we should do something, too" Maggie said closing her eyes
Burton didn't say a word and just sat ruffling his hair.
"On top of the tragedy, we have O.W.Ls to study for, as the exams are in less than two weeks away..." Olivia said with disappointment. Weirdly, she had been looking forward to the exams for ages. Now, she was dreading them, just like they all were. She couldn't even concentrate on revising now.
"Lets just hope nothing like this happens ever again" Luella said, her eyes looking at the crowd of Anita's friends.
"Lu, This is Hogwarts. Anything can happen!" Richard said, still playing with the grass, "Don't tempt Fate"
Luella stared at Richard with her eyes widened. Dominic gave Richard a harsh look, while Olivia and Maggie stared at him with disbelief.
Maggie leaned towards Richard's ear. "Give her a break, Rich" Maggie said under her breath, "Its not her fault. She's just upset like the rest of us!"
"Sorry Lu" Richard smiled meekly, "I didn't mean to be so...harsh"
Luella gave a small smile to Richard. "Its okay, forget it..."
"Come on, guys" Dominic exhaled, "Lets get out of here. It's getting too depressing".
All six of them all got up from the grass. Dominic was right: floods of people were flocking around the grounds in tears. Luella and Dominic held each other's hands while Richard had his arm around Maggie. Maggie was holding Olivia's hand, while Burton walked alongside Dominic. That day, a black cloud followed the students... A looming darkness... But the question on everyone's mind was 'What happened?'
They all entered the Common Room. Richard leaned on a table, Maggie flopped into a chair, Luella sat in front of the fire with a revision book, and Olivia snuggled into her favourite chair, while Dominic looked out of the window.
"Its strange..." Luella pondered, "...Anita went missing in Hogsmeade... but why did she end up here? Do you think it was someone from the school who did it?"
None of them replied. As the day passed, they either sat revising for O.W.Ls or sitting in silence. None of them had any words to say to each other. What could they say? They could talk about the events of last night forever, but what use would that be? Silence had gripped their necks and strangled them, so that no words could be said. Only choking their emotions out...
The next evening, Maggie and Richard walked around the school grounds. It was still light. Dumbledore added an earlier curfew for everyone to be in their dorms by 6:30 pm. The sun was setting now and the cold had settled in. Maggie rubbed her arms and shivered. Richard stared at Maggie. Her normal spark in her green eyes had gone today and was replaced with a hint of grief. Her black hair draped onto her shoulders. She wasn't wearing a coat. Richard fiddled about with his coat. He put it over Maggie. She shrugged it off. Richard picked it up off the ground.
"You're cold" Richard said, smoothing off the creases in his coat.
"It doesn't matter" Maggie sighed, "I can't be thinking of myself today. It would be selfish. Anyway, my feelings aren't important right now".
Richard turned to face Maggie. "They are to me".
Maggie stared back at Richard. "I know they are, but I feel I should be doing something, you know? Comforting Anita's friends or something...I feel guilty".
"Why?" Richard asked in amazement
Maggie stopped walking. "You know why! We both got drunk that night! If we were both sober, then maybe we could have prevented Anita's death...". Her eyes began to fill with tears. She never really cried very often and when she did cry, she couldn't stop.
"Maggie..." Richard pulled Maggie towards him and hugged her, wrapping his arms around her protectively. "I don't think there was anything anyone could have done. From what I heard, she wasn't killed on campus. She was already dead when they -"
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Maggie cried, "Please, don't talk about it. It's too upsetting". She shrugged his arms off her shoulders.
They both carried on walking. Maggie wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes.
Richard exhaled loudly. "What can I say to make you happy, Maggie? You have been in a state of depression for two days now. I want to help you".
Maggie carried on walking. Richard stopped her by grabbing her shoulder.
"Maggie! Please tell me what is wrong... Please."
Maggie shut her eyes and opened them again. "I have been thinking about us... a lot. I was looking at Anita's friends today and how upset they were over Anita and it got me thinking..."
Richard stared into Maggie's eyes. "About what?"
"Just about...what if it was one of us instead of Anita? What if it was you? How could I cope? I can't bear the thought of - of los-ing you..." Maggie began to cry. Richard came towards her and gave her a hug.
"Shhh... Its okay, Mag. I'm not going anywhere..."
Maggie gave Richard a nervous smile. They both looked at the sky and took cue to leave, as it was dark now. Richard didn't say a word for the whole word. Maggie's words had shaken him up. She was right. What would happen if he lost her? He couldn't stop the thoughts of what could happen from entering his mind. It scared him senseless. That night, he had nightmares he couldn't control... Like someone was feeding them into his head... He woke up in a cold sweat and sat shivering. Insomnia gripped him and wouldn't let him go... Just like his thoughts...
FLASHBACK
31st May
8:45 pm
Subconscious Thoughts Of Squire ...
...Cold blood...
Cold blood...Rushing...
Shaking...Shaking...
Stop it! You are being paranoid!
Look around, check nobody is with you...
...Nobody watching...
All trees surround me...
God, I'm getting tired...
Walk FASTER, god damn it!
...Just drag her!...
No...I can't...
Carry her...
SNAP!
Did you hear that?...Oh no... No...Its just your mind...Just an animal...Stepping on some sticks...
Be careful, now...Spies everywhere, Spies everywhere...
One, Two, One, Two...Walk straighter... One, Two, One, Two...
Where now?...
What should I do?...
She'll have my head for this!...
I can't die...
I'm too young...
Yeah, but you deserve to die for what you have done, you sicko...
Just do the job and get the hell out of there...
...One, Two...One, Two...
...Keep walking...
...You are doing this for her...
For her...
Love, Honour and Obey Her...
...Fear her...
...Nearly there...
Keep the wand up, goddamnit, you don't want to end up in Azkaban...
Here I am...
But where shall I put her?...
...Where?...
...I'm getting tired...
...She won't let me sleep...
...She never sleeps...
...Here...
Put her here...
Shall I drop her?...
NO! You fool! Have respect for her... Put her down gently...
...She looked so beautiful...
ENOUGH! Feelings are weakness...
...I'm so sorry...
Now, run...RUN!
God above, forgive me for what I have done...
...Forgive me...
...Forgive me...
...Forgive me...
...Please forgive me...
END OF CHAPTER 4
A/N: Sorry about the delay, but here is Chapter 4 - sorry it isn't as long as the rest of the other chapters. There will be a lot more on the present and Harry next week, but this is just more info on the past. I will get writing on Chapter 5 soon... )
Also, in the first chapter, the boy called Robert is actually called Richard - typing error - sorry!
Thank-you for your reviews so far. I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far... Suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Are there any characters you love/hate? Please review and tell me your opinions:)
Grace x