Chapter 5
Desire
Rating - T
(A/N: This story is set after the Order of the Phoenix but before the Half-Blood Prince)
Present Day
Hogwarts
Harry walked into his dorm and breathed a sigh of relief. No-one was in the dorm...yet. Harry walked over to his bed, dumped his Potions books and lay back onto the bed. He desperatly needed time alone just to be himself. Harry took off his glasses and placed them on his nightstand. He closed his eyes and let his arms flop over the sides of his bed. 'At last...Peace', Harry thought to himself. He immersed himself into a daydream reality, where it was just him and no one else. Darkness clouded over his mind and he imagined that he was flying through stars. Harry could feel the wind brush against his face and could touch the gold lining of the stars. He could see faces of people, smiling at him. Ron. Hermione. Dumbledore. He was reaching infinity and beyond. Then suddenly, he began to fall. Harry felt his body escalating down towards a never-ending pit. He yelled, but no one could hear him. Then suddenly, he hit the floor with a bang. He looked around. He saw his mum and dad looking at him, with regret in their eyes. Then he saw Sirius, staring straight through him. Then the face of Voldermort appeared...
Harry immediately sat up. People were starting to appear in the dorm room. Harry sat up and put his glasses on. He had hit reality with a bang...
Harry swung his legs off the bed and stood up. He blinked his eyes, trying to adjust his eyes to the brightness of the light in the room. Seamus and Neville walked into the room, chatting non-stop. They both turned and looked at Harry.
"Hey Harry!" Seamus said, waving his hand in the air. He went to his bed and started listening to music.
Neville trotted over to Harry. "Hi Harry, How are you?"
Harry smiled meekly. "Yeah, I'm good Neville. You?"
"Well, I got more stick from Malfoy today...Err...I nearly aced my Herbology test and...er...Oh! I got a Chocolate Frog off my Nan in the post. She still treats me as a nine-year old kid... but hey, at least I got some chocolate!"
Harry nodded, realising he hadn't taken in much of what Neville said. "That's nice, Neville. Have you seen Ron?"
At that moment, Ron walked into the door, grinning like a Chesire cat. He walked over to Harry and patted him on the back.
"You all right, mate? You are just the person I wanted to talk to".
Harry yawned. "Errr... what, now?"
Ron laughed. "Of course, now! When d'yer think I meant?"
Ron dragged Harry out of the room. Harry turned his head to face Neville. "Bye Neville!"
Ron and Harry walked along one of the many Hogwarts corridors. Ron's happy expression had now become a rather nervous one. There weren't many people in the corridors today like there normally was. Harry looked at Ron again. Maybe he had found out more news about this Burton Creech?
"Look, Ron. What is so important that it can't be told in the dorm...or the Common Room in fact?" Harry asked
"Just trust me Harry, it's important"
They both walked along the corridor until they reached the Old Toilets. Ron turned his head to make sure no-one was looking and pushed Harry through the door into the Old Girl's Lavatory. The floor was a little wet and Harry instantly put that down to Moaning Myrtle. Harry walked over to the sinks while Ron poked his head out of the door again, making sure no one was around. Satisfied, Ron closed the door and walked over to Harry.
"Ron, you do know this is the Girls Toilets?"
"Yes, I know Harry. We needed somewhere private to talk..." said Ron, fiddling with the taps.
Harry sighed. "Where is Hermione? Why can't she hear this?"
"Hermione doesn't need to know" Ron said quickly. His voice was becoming nervous and squeaky.
"Have you got more news about Burton Creech?" Harry asked, waiting anticipated.
"No, Harry. Its not that. Although, Hermione said she was going to try and look up Burton Creech in the Library". Ron was now rubbing his hands together, nervously.
"Well, then... What is it?" Harry said, dreading the worst.
Ron turned to look at Harry. "Harry... You know, when you have f-feelings for someone?"
"Oh lord, Ron... Are you talking about your love life?"
"Y-yes" Ron said squeakily
Harry rolled his eyes. "Carry on..."
Ron looked like he was shaking. "Well...umm... I like..t-this...girl. I mean, she's really...smart and pretty. She is in our year. You know her too. The trouble is...it would be...wrong for me to ask her out..."
Harry gave a small laugh. "Ron, if you really really like this girl, then you should ask her out. Don't be shy, Ron! But...why would it be wrong? Its not a crime to date a girl, is it?"
"No...but-"
"Then, do it Ron! You have nothing to fear! Well, maybe rejection...And the humiliation of it all...And the embarrassment factor of when... I'm not really helping, am I?"
"Thanks mate, you've really being helpful towards me plucking up my courage..." Ron said sarcastically.
Harry laughed at Ron's sarcasm.
"Look, you don't understand, Harry. This is the first time I've told anyone about this... Do you know how hard it is keeping a secret like this?"
Harry knew right how it felt. He thought about the rock. The rock that he was hiding from his friends...
"Did you say that I know her?" Harry asked, thinking about all the girls he knew.
Ron didn't answer Harry. Harry guessed that Ron didn't want him to know...
"I have had...very strong feelings develop over the past year or so over her and I don't know what to do about them..."
"Just tell her how you feel!" Harry said enthusiastically
"But I can't!" Ron moaned
"Well, you'll just end up getting all worked up about it..." Harry sighed. He thought about the secret feelings he had for Ron's sister, Ginny. His feelings for her had developed over the past year too. Harry knew exactly what Ron was talking about...
Harry rubbed his eyes, wiping the sand away from his eye. "Well... How do you feel when you see her? Or when you are around her in fact?"
Ron's face turned baby pink. "Umm...Err... Like my heart is about to explode..."
"Err...OK, Ron. I think you should really tell her how you feel..." Harry walked over to Ron and put his arm over him. "Ron?"
"Yes" Ron squeaked
"You're in love"
Ron pushed Harry's arm off his shoulder and started to pace himself around the room. "But, Harry... If I went out with her, people might get hurt"
"Ron... This girl isn't a celebrity...And anyway, who would get hurt?"
Ron went silent.
"Oh, Ron... it isn't a teacher is it?"
Ron went redder than a beetroot. "Don't be stupid, Harry! Of course it's not a teacher!"
Harry scratched his head and smiled. "I had my bets on Professor McGonagal..."
Ron pushed Harry into the sink, while Harry continued to laugh.
"Oww..." Harry laughed
"Look...Its like when you wanted to go out with Cho Chang" Ron said accusingly
Harry sighed. "Yeah, well we all know how that ended..."
"I mean...It's like if someone went out with my sister, Ginny", Ron laughed. "I'd knock them back to next week!"
Harry stood staring at Ron wide-eyed, while Ron laughed...
"Harry?"
FLASHBACK
Hogwarts
June 1982
"I don't get this..." whined Richard, pulling away a book he was sitting under.
Olivia, Maggie and Luella groaned at Richard as this was the fifth time that he didn't understand his Potions revision. Partly, he didn't understand because he was busy listening to some Muggle Music Cassette Tape. The girls had been trying to explain to him the rules of making an Everlasting Elixir Potion. Dominic was sitting revising and laughing at Richard's constant whining. Books covered over the Common Room floor, surrounding them.
Maggie rolled her eyes. "Rich...for the last time, READ YOUR BOOK! It tells you in there!"
She unplugged Richard's headphones out of his walkman.
"Hey!" Richard moaned, "I was right in the jam, then!"
"Well, Muggle Music isn't going to help you pass your O.W.Ls!" Maggie sighed
"What time is it?" Luella asked, shutting her book.
"Break time, I say" Dominic, dropping his Quill to the floor
"Come on, guys! We were making good progress!" Olivia said enthusiastically
"No more studying...please!" Richard moaned
"But I like studying!" Olivia piped, "It helps me forget about things...sometimes it can be quite therapeutic"
"Therapeutic? Jeez, Liv! You really have proved to me that you can be crazy..." Richard laughed
"Hey... have there been any more news about... you-know...the students?" Luella whispered
Maggie shook her head, "Nope...nothing"
They all sat in silence, remembering the students who are still missing, presumed dead. After Anita's death, a memorial plaque was put up for her and the other students: Stuart Murray, Janet Vice and Debbie Wells. The Ministry was investigating into the cause of Anita's death - the coroner's report put Anita's death as 'suspicious'. Dumbledore was urging any student who saw anything mysterious that night was to report to him as soon as possible. No one had come forward...
"Lets just carry on studying..." Dominic sighed, picking up a different book.
"Hey, where's Burton?" Olivia asked
Richard smiled. "Are you missing him, Liv? Are you actually coming around to Burton's advances?"
Olivia blushed. "No...It's just, well, he's not here...and its not like him to do that"
"He said he was going to get another book...but that was half an hour ago" Dominic said, looking at his watch
"Well, you know Burton. The Library is like his oxygen... He can't live without it", said Luella "He goes in to get one book and he comes out with forty"
Maggie shook her head. "But he didn't go out of the Common Room door. He went towards his dorm room..."
"Oh, well. Give him five more minuites..." Richard said, plugging his headphones back into his Walkman
Maggie pulled the headphones out of the walkman again. "No more Walkman! Study!"
Richard reluctantly put his Walkman in his bag and picked up a book to study from. A brief smile appeared across Maggie's face, as she was proud of Richard for finally knuckling down and studying. Happy, she turned to the next chapter and began to study. Olivia had become absorbed into reading and was scribbling notes faster than you could say 'Roadrunner'. Luella was becoming obsessed with making her notes neat, as opposed to Dominic, who was practically just writing scribble.
After a grueling two hours of non-stop studying, the group was becoming restless. Richard had become bored and started doodling dogs playing guitars on scraps of parchment paper, Dominic and Luella had started to pass notes to each other and even Olivia had stopped: just twirling her hair with her finger. Maggie was still trying to fight the urge to give in, but now tiredness was sinking in and hunger pains cramped her stomach. Burton still hadn't resurfaced...
Maggie shut her book. "Okay, do you think we should stop studying now?"
"YES!" they all chorused, breathing a heavy sigh of relief with smiles all around.
"Has Burton come down at all since we last asked where he was?" Olivia asked, rubbing her eyes.
"No...he hasn't" Richard sighed "Where on earth is he? Did a pile of books devour him?"
"I think I should go and I find him" Dominic announced
"No... I will!" Olivia piped
"Yeah, then he'd probably propose to you and ask you to have his babies..." Luella laughed
Olivia's eyes widened. "You're right... I shouldn't go"
"I'll go!" Maggie said cheerfully
They all stopped and raised their eyebrows at Maggie, a faint look of surprise on their faces.
"But...why?" Richard asked, amazed at his girlfriends proposal. Mad thoughts were popping into his head. ' Are they in some secret cult?' 'Do they study together alone without me?' 'Are they planning to become Head Boy and Girl and are doing extra credit work?'
Maggie shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I dunno! He might be upset! He might need someone to talk to! Someone...sympathetic"
"Hello! What about us?" Richard said pointing to him and Dominic
"You're men! You can only talk about girls, alcohol and rock bands. No offense."
"None taken!" laughed Dominic
Maggie uncrossed her legs and picked herself up off the floor. She dusted her robes and walked out of the Common Room door. Richard got up off the floor and tapped Maggie's shoulder.
"Are you sure you want to talk to him?" he asked quietly
"Its fine...It's only Burton!" Maggie laughed, kissing him on the cheek.
Maggie pulled her robes up back to her shoulders as she left the Library - no such luck on finding Burton. She closed the door, unsatisfied with her progress
On her quest in search of Burton, she was still at the start line. Maggie walked across the corridor and saw that it was nearly dark. After Anita's body was found, Anita felt scared to be alone... just incase it happened to her. She carried on walking, but from time to time, she would always stop and check that no-one was behind her. 'Stop it, Maggie! Stop being Paranoid! You're in Hogwarts... Dumbledore is here... You're safe' She thought quietly. 'Where is he?' Maggie stared at her watch, hoping that time would move faster and that Burton would pop up right in front of her face. But that wasn't the case...
Burton sat in a dormant windowsill in one of the many Hogwarts corridors. He had his revision books piled up neatly at the other end of the windowsill. He stared out at the beautiful sunset, which glowed orange: like someone had set it alight. He gave a sigh and hugged his knees up to his chest. No-one seemed to walk up this corridor anymore: it was the same corridor in which the infamous Girls Toilets harboured the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets. His thoughts whizzed around in his head like shooting stars:
'Why am I here?'
'What is the purpose of my life?'
'Why can't I be free?'
'Why am I feeling so guilty?'
He shook off these feelings and re-opened the letter from his parents: Gretel and Frank Creech. His parents are both Pureblood and think of themselves very highly. Gretel and Frank Creech don't dislike Mudbloods, yet they don't adore them either: but they are not quite in the same class as the Malfoys are now. Burton scanned the letter again. It was written by his mother - wishing him luck in his O.W.L examinations - they were going on holiday when the examinations actually started, so they sent out the letter before they went away. Burton smiled at his mother's kind words and put the letter back in his bag. He'd come to the windowsil for solace - to revise in peace without Richard's rants. 'I'd best be going back to the Common Room now' he thought to himself. He was about to put his books into his bag, when he saw a familiar figure in the distance. He knew that figure before - it wasn't a boy as it was a girl's shape. The shadow was medium height with long black hair. The figure was looking for something - or someone. The figure had spotted him and was coming towards him. He watched the figure come closer and closer towards him and then he saw the face of...Maggie.
"You've given me a wild goose chase, that's for sure!" laughed Maggie as she sat down next to Burton. Burton scooted down the windowsill and shoved his books into his bag to make more room.
"Hi Mag" said Burton quietly, looking down at his shoes.
"Are you okay?" asked Maggie, getting straight to the point.
"Umm...why wouldn't I be okay?" replied Burton, nervously.
"Well...you haven't really spoken much today, you disappeared for ages to get one book..."
"Okay, okay. I see your point" sighed Burton
Maggie looked into Burton's eyes. "Well...what's wrong?"
Burton stood up. "I can't tell you..."
"Is it because I'm not a boy?" Maggie asked jokingly, "I can turn myself into a boy, if it made you feel more comfortable if you like?"
Burton let out a small laugh. "No, its not that..."
"Then what? Look Burton, everyone is worried about you... I just want to help you."
Burton closed his eyes and rubbed them. He turned to face Maggie. "...How can I describe to you, what I am going through?" he sighs. He clasps his hands together and begins to pour out his issues: "I feel trapped...I feel like I am the only person in this world who feels like they are stuck in a constant circle of depression...I try to take my mind of feeling depressed, like reading a book or revising for these O.W.Ls, but it doesn't work. I feel pressurised by my parents to do well in these exams - otherwise they will disown me! Look! I have a letter to prove it..." He started to rummage through his bag for the letter.
Maggie watched as Burton searched for the letter. "They won't disown you, surely!"
"They will!" Burton barked, "They will call me a failure!"
"But Burton, you are one of the smartest people in our year. You ace every single subject you take with flying colours - the O.W.Ls will not be a problem for you!" said Maggie, raising her voice.
"But-"
"LISTEN BURTON! You-will-be-fine!"
Burton calmed himself down.
"You have no idea what I'm going through..." Burton sighed
"Oh yeah?" Maggie scoffed, "How about having excess paranoia? Scared that you will end up missing or even dead like Anita every time you go out on your own? And get this: How about not being able to tell even your own boyfriend how you feel and you feel like you can't trust anyone, just incase they are against you? I feel trapped..."
"I'm sorry for being stupid...you are right...but don't you hate when you just can't tell anyone...when you have to keep secrets? I have secrets..." said Burton, looking outside of the window. The sun was almost set.
"I know...and you know when you just want to tell someone but you can't?" sighed Maggie
"Yeah...I know exactly the feeling..."
They both turned and looked at each other and gave a small smile to one another. Suddenly, Burton came closer to Maggie and kissed her. Shocked, Maggie pulled away and looked at Burton with a look of surprise on her face.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" said Maggie, her voice raised
"I thought it was what you wanted..." said Burton
"Did I actually tell you to 'KISS ME?" laughed Maggie angrily, "I have a boyfriend, Burton. Your best friend, you know that! So why would you do that! Anyone could have seen us!"
"Look, I'm sorry! It just happened!" said Burton apologetically
Maggie looked at Burton and shook her head. "I know you're sorry. Lets just not tell anyone about it, okay?"
"Fine." sighed Burton, "But thank-you..."
"For what?" asked Maggie, standing up
"Understanding me"
They both got up off the windowsill. Burton collected his bag, while Maggie walked off back to the Common Room. Burton took a different direction towards the Common Room. The corridor was quiet now...except someone was there. In the corner of the corridor, close by to the windowsill, is a wall. A shadow showed a human figure standing there. Burton noticed the shadow as he walked by, but just simply shrugged it off, thinking it was a ghost...
But behind that wall, was Richard. He had seen the whole thing...
FLASHBACK
Unknown Location
June 1982
"Come hither, loyal Squire"
The shadow of the Squire came towards the woman. The room is dimly lit, yet, we can see the woman more clearly. She has very long poker-straight black hair which reached down to her armpits. From the dark, her eyes glowed and showed their true colour: amber. The woman is very thin, almost skeleton-like. Her cheekbones can be seen very clearly. Her lips are ruby red. She is wearing a long black dress, but it is torn. She is sitting on some sort of throne. Above her head, is the letter 'P' engraved into the stone wall. The room is cold and damp. A fire torch is just above the head of the woman. The Squire still cannot be seen...
"My mistress..." calls the Squire and kisses her hand. The woman's hand is almost grey: a mushroom sort of colour.
The woman's voice is as soft as a whisper. "Well done, my Squire. Now the suspicion is laid upon Hogwarts. We have nothing to fear now..."
"Thank-you, my mistress..."
"BUT! I sense that you are afraid..."
We can hear the Squire fiddle with his hands. "I fear nothing, my mistress..."
"Oh, but you do Squire. It calls out to me... Remember Squire - feelings kill. Suppress those thoughts immediately!"
"Yes, m'aam"
"What about the others? Have they been taken care of?"
"We have to wait until the coat is clear...otherwise they will start sniffing around here..."
The woman's voice was becoming more harsh."I see. BUT! They must be disposed of immediately...The Ministry spies are everywhere, my young Squire. We need to hide them... I would preferably like Hogwarts again, but if we keep doing that - then they will start to follow our tracks...I need you to find anywhere that we can put them..."
"I will do, my mistress..."
"We shall meet again, in two weeks time..."
"In here, my mistress!"
"NAY! I will come to you...but I will tell you soon...not now, soon...but I have good news. I now know the date of my glorious prophecy...It will be in the year of nineteen-eighty five... And it will include your most memorable task up to date..."
"What shall that be, my love..."
The woman smiles. "I will not tell you...yet. Come closer..."
The Squire walks up to the woman's throne.
"You are the best warrior I have. Keep thyself safe..."
"I will. My Petravix..."
END OF CHAPTER 5
A/N: I hope you like this chapter :) Please review xxxxxx