Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager etc…

Authors note: I just wanted to say a very big thank you to all of you who have reviewed this story, it's always nice to have good feedback. I'm sorry I'm not updating this story as often as you'd probably like (I know how frustrating it is to be waiting even a couple of days between chapters), but I haven't yet finished writing this story and I don't want to be in the situation where all of the chapters are up and it takes another couple of months before anything is added.

I don't know how many times I've read or done a New Earth rewrite, but I never tire of it, I hope that you don't.

Chapter 4: Inevitability

One year and eight months

New Earth, day two

It was easy when he was busy. It had been a lot easier when he hadn't even known. Voyager had been hard at first; he would see his son being held and adored by everyone but him, would see everyone congratulating the new mother but never him and he would go to her office to give her ship reports only to see his son in her arms as he slept whilst she worked.

Eventually he realised it was just the way he looked at the situation which was causing him pain, and slowly he started to think of him less as his son and more as Kathryn's son; he started to think of her less as the mother of his child, and more as his captain. Denial had worked. The problem now was that it had worked too well. He had spent so much time avoiding Noah, that after only forty eight hours of time alone with him, he now felt very lost and unsure of how to be a father. So he had focussed his attention on building the shelter to keep his mind from thinking about the situation, but now he was coming to the end of his work, he was struggling to think of more things to keep himself busy.

Kathryn sat opposite him at the dinner table and he watched her as she spoon fed the eleven month old baby in a high chair. "I should be finished with the shelter by tomorrow evening," he said as he poked at the food on his plate with a fork, and then scooping up some pasta and sauce took it up to his mouth.

She looked across at him with an apologetic look, "I'm sorry I haven't been able to help out more."

"It's okay," he excused her, "you've been busy with Noah, besides," he shrugged, "some of the supporting beams are quite heavy."

"And you're implication Chakotay?" she raised an eyebrow as she turned and fed her son another spoonful of mush. He stammered over an adequate response, "I think I see how you think this is going to work… I'll raise Noah, doing the cooking and cleaning, and you will do the building and hunting," her grin gave her away, "I never thought you were such a traditionalist!"

"Actually I thought you could do the hunting," he played along, "we could make a super sized version of one of those insect traps that you have and catch all sorts of food."

She gave him a sarcastic smile, "lets hope our power supplies never get that low that we can't replicate."

He pushed the food around on his plate with his fork, "what did you call this again?"

"Vegetable lasagne," she then noticed that he'd barely touched his food, "you don't like it do you?"

Chakotay shrugged, "I'm just not that hungry."

"Don't worry," she dipped the spoon back into baby food, "I won't replicate it again."

"I'm guessing you don't cook that often," he stated.

She shrugged, "I've always tried to avoid cooking, and besides, I wouldn't have been able to find time on Voyager with my responsibilities to the ship and Noah. Why cook when you can replicate?"

He laughed.

"What?"

He shook his head and subdued his laughter, although a grin was still evident on his face, "just sounds typical of something you might say."

She put down the almost empty bowl of baby food. "I think Noah's had enough," she stated, then proceeded to clear up her plate with Noah's and placed them in the replicater, "I'm just going to give him a bath before I put him to sleep for the night," she explained as she scooped her son into her arms and took him into the bathroom with her.

Chakotay sat quietly for a moment longer before he cleared up his plate also and then headed outside to carry on weatherproofing the roof of their shelter.

It had been almost three weeks since Chakotay and Kathryn had transported down to the planet in search of supplies for the ship. After identifying a wide range of resources their ship could utilise they had transported back up only to suddenly fall ill. After a couple of hours in sick bay the doctor had realised their deteriorating condition was beyond his immediate comprehension, and so they had returned to the planet's surface to make a very quick recovery.

Seventeen days in status tubes had given the doctor no further enlightenment on their condition or a cure, and reluctantly for everyone involved they had decided to remain on the planet as Voyager continued its journey home. Bringing down Noah had been a tough decision for Kathryn, but she had realised that it was the best decision that could be made and so he had been transported down just before Voyager had left orbit.

When Chakotay realised that it was starting to get too dark to see in the late evening offering of light, he climbed down the ladder from the roof and re-entered his new home. His attention was immediately drawn to Kathryn who was sprawled out on the couch wearing only a silk dressing gown and her hair pinned up casually. Noah sat on her lap, wrapped in a towel and gazed at the pictures of a book in front of him as his mother read softly to him. She had obviously decided to take a shower with him; he wasn't sure if it was because of her efficient manner that made her think it would be a good way to save time and energy, or if it was some part of the mother-baby bonding rituals.

She looked up at him as he entered and gave him a warm smile through her words as she finished the page she was on. She then looked back down at the book on her lap and turned the page as she continued to read.

Closing the door behind himself, he hung his jacket up on a hook on the wall and headed over towards the shelving unit to put his tools back in their places. Taking a seat at the table he pulled out his computer and started to go over the schematics for the shelter, to double check that he hadn't left anything out, and to ensure that he had done everything by the book; the last thing he wanted was for the roof to collapse in on him at the first gust of wind that graced the shelter.

As he studied the drawings on the screen he became distracted by the sound of Kathryn's voice, and unable to help himself he stared across at her, and watched her for a long time. With Noah sitting on her lap she looked very different to the woman who sat beside him on the bridge every day. She looked very calm and relaxed, and so did her son as he rested his head against the side of her arm and listened contently to a story about Peter Rabbit. He couldn't help his eyes drift to the cleavage which was showing from the parting of her dressing gown, he tried his best not to think of undressing her completely.

Eventually the story came to a close, and he quickly returned his gaze to the schematics in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her pick Noah up and carry him towards her bedroom. "I'm going to call it a night," she said as she walked by him.

"Sleep well," he smiled across at her before she disappeared into her sleeping area.

Chakotay took a deep breath, this was definitely not going to be easy.

/\

New Earth, day 24

"Can you just go check on Noah," Kathryn called out to him as he sat in their home making a sand painting.

"He's fine," he called back.

"That was awfully quick," she commented, "are you sure you just checked on him?"

He chuckled to himself, "he woke up about five minutes ago, he's on the rug chewing his toys."

"Make sure he doesn't swallow any of them," she said worriedly.

Chakotay looked over at their son once again, "unless you think he's capable of dislocating his jaw and fitting anything larger than his fist into his mouth, then I think we're okay."

He couldn't see her rolling her eyes, but he could imagine that was what she was doing. Over the past three weeks they had both gotten to know each other a lot better. They had forced a friendship on Voyager, but it had been distant and formal; he saw her as a rigid Starfleet captain, who although loyal and dedicated to her crew, often took her responsibilities too seriously, especially on her decision not to tell the crew that he was Noah's father, and to exclude him from his son's life. Kathryn had seen him as a rogue Maquis, troubled by his past and with an underlying anger that scared her. When it came to Noah, it wasn't just the fact that she was worried what the crew would think to him being the father that caused her to push him away, but also that she didn't want him to raise her son, she didn't want him to be allowed any access to her personal life, which is what would have undoubtedly happened if they had have shared custody.

But their time alone together had changed their opinions of one another, and their perspectives of things. Chakotay now realised that Kathryn was a very warm and compassionate woman, he realised that her skill in command was nothing to her skill as a scientist. Although she obsessed with finding a cure, he realised that her obsession was mainly a distraction for her so that she didn't have to consider the reality of their situation, and through this he realised she was much more vulnerable and guarded of her feelings than she let on when wearing the captain's mask.

Kathryn now laughed at how she used to think of Chakotay. She could see that he was a very caring man, she could see that in the way that he took care of their son, and any anger he had been bottling up at the start of the journey, he had dealt with it long ago and over time it had dissipated. Having gotten to know him better, she couldn't think of a better father for her son. The friendship they had forged on the planet they had decided to call New Earth was natural, close and comfortable; they both realised common interests, and had both quickly adapted to sharing responsibility for Noah. Chakotay had even started to form a bond with Noah that she knew he would never have been able to attempt to do on Voyager.

Suddenly Chakotay's concentration over his sand painting was broken as he heard her call for him, saying that there was something in the bushes. He quickly grabbed a phaser and a flash torch from the side and rushed outside to her aid. She had already gotten up out of the bath that he had built her and had wrapped herself in a towel by the time he got there. "Over there," she pointed to where the noise she had heard had come from.

Pointing the torch and phaser in the direction of her finger, they were both instantly surprised when they saw a primate a few metres away from them. Their panic quickly dissipated and Kathryn turned to exchange an amused smile at their over reaction as he relaxed his arm holding the phaser, and hung it by his side. Kathryn, ever fearless of anything that she could understand went slowly forwards and held out her hand to the small primate, "hello there," she greeted, only to be disappointed by the primate's reaction of running away. "I think he's probably a little more scared of us than we are of him," she commented as she turned back around catching Chakotay staring at he naked shoulder.

When he realised her eyes were back on him he broke his gaze, but she had already caught him staring, and suddenly the moment was very thick and very tense. She had tried to convince herself that his realisation that she was the only woman around wasn't inevitable, that he might eventually expect more of her than she was sure she wanted to give. Catching him staring like that reminded her that she couldn't avoid the inevitability forever, and maybe not even in the next few minutes she amended when she found she couldn't move from where she stood.

Eventually it was him who broke the moment, "we should probably get back to Noah," he reminded her and then forced himself to walk back over to the shelter.

/\

New Earth, day 32

Chakotay sat up in his bed reading, it was late but he was determined to get to the end of the chapter before he turned off his reading light. A knock at the door to his sleeping area caused him to look up from his book. "Come in," he instructed and Kathryn appeared in his doorway, her appearance in his bedroom at the late hour caused him to worry, "there's not a problem is there?"

She entered further into his room and plonked herself down on the edge of his bed, "depends on what you consider a problem," she said.

He frowned, unsure what she was talking about, "right…" he said unsurely.

"It's Noah's first birthday tomorrow," she informed him.

"I know," he smiled.

"You do?"

He chuckled lightly, "you know I was on the same ship when you gave birth to him," he reminded her.

"Oh," her jaw hung a little, "I just thought… it doesn't matter."

"You just thought because I wasn't actively his father for eleven months I might have forgotten the date I became a father," his smile was relaxing and infectious.

She smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that you wouldn't remember."

He shrugged, "and the problem?"

"Do we celebrate?" He raised an eyebrow, "well it's not like he's going to remember, but then it seems odd not to do… something."

He nodded in agreement, "well, I'm not too keen on putting on a party hat and eating jelly."

Kathryn laughed, "me neither, but do you have anything better in mind?"

Giving it a few moments thought he replied, "we could just do something small to commemorate his first birthday… like go for a picnic," he loosely suggested.

At the suggestion she broke into a smile, the kind of lopsided smile she reserved only for special moments and made him go weak at the knees, "that sounds great."

He grinned back, "have anywhere in mind?"

Giving him a coy look she replied: "well now that you mention it, there is a spot I found when I was putting out insect traps last week."

-

Kathryn lay back on a picnic blanket, elbows supported her weight behind her. Noah had fallen asleep long ago after having eaten too much, and she gazed at him adoringly for a long while before a sprinkling of water on her face caused her to look out over the small lake to give Chakotay a glare. "Sure you don't want to come in?" he offered once again, "the water's lovely and warm."

"I'm sure," she replied, shielding her eyes as he slid his arm across the surface of the water and splashed her once again.

"What's wrong? Can't you swim?"

"I can swim perfectly well thank you very much," she replied, "but I know if I get in the water you'll just splash me even more."

"Scared you'll lose?" He challenged.

He had set the bait, but today was not a day she was going to go for it. "If I got in the water, who would look after Noah?"

He treaded water for a while as he considered her words, "bring him in," he responded.

"He's asleep," she reminded him.

She thought she heard him sigh before he dove into the water head first with his toes following last, and then he resurfaced to do a few more laps. Finally he seemed to tire of being alone in the lake, with nothing but the sound of the waterfall for company, and reaching a large stone by the bank pulled himself out. Kathryn hadn't realised he'd been skinning dipping, having assumed that he had been wearing his underpants, and so quickly averted her eyes when she saw that he was completely naked.

The sound of him chucking his pile of clothes near to the picnic blanket caused her to look back up. He had pulled his underpants back on, but they clung to his wet skin, and he had obviously decided not to put the rest of his clothes on until he had allowed the sun to dry him off. "You should have mentioned there was this lake," he commented as he sat down beside her, "I would have brought a towel."

"And some trunks?" she raised an eyebrow.

He laughed, "you're trying to tell me that you never went skinny dipping?"

"Not with company!"

"Not even with your fiancé?"

"Not Mark, no," she admitted, although they had never been in a situation where they didn't have bathing costumes.

Giving her a knowing smile he pressed, "but with someone else, right?"

Rolling her eyes she shrugged, "maybe."

Laughing he shook his head, "I would have liked to have been there for that."

She gave him a playful push, "fortunately you're too old for us to have gone to the academy together."

He dropped his jaw in mock horror, "old," he repeated, "I'll remind you that you're only three years younger than me."

"God," she took a hand to her head, "you don't have to remind me."

Chakotay looked at her as he tried to decide on an adequate response, so without giving her any warning he took his hands to her sides and tickled her, chuckling as she fell into uncontrolled giggles.

"Stop it," she pleaded between breathes, "you're getting me wet!"

In response to her plea he shook his head, finely spraying her with water. She gave him a playful slap against his upper arm and the distraction was enough to launch into an attack of her own. Grabbing his foot and running her fingers along it caused him to fall to the ground onto his back, and seizing his vulnerable position she climbed on top of his legs and ran her fingers along his belly.

"Ah, that's unfair," he pointed out when she didn't stop, "I was just about to stop, I swear."

"Say mercy," she reminded him of a childhood game, "and we can call it truce."

"Never," he said after a deep breath and rolled her over so that he was on top. Her hands had flown back to control her fall and so she was left completely unguarded as he counter attacked.

She tried to pull his hands away from her, but he was too strong, so she was left to squirm beneath him. Chakotay decided to end the game and took her wrists and raised her hands above her head, with her legs pinned beneath his weight she was unable to make a physical response. "Say mercy," he repeated her earlier words, "and we'll call it truce."

She looked up at him defiantly, annoyed that she wasn't six foot tall, built like a tank and unwilling to surrender. "I'm the mother of your child," she reminded him, "do you have any idea how hard it is to push out seven pounds of a human being?"

He just smiled, an annoying knowing smile that she didn't like, "I'm guessing not nearly as hard as it's going to be for you to surrender to me."

Something about his words caused the smile on her lips to fall from her face, and the look she gave him caused his grin to drop also. The close proximity they were to one another was now very apparent to them both, his face was only inches from hers, her breath touched his lips, and his breathing was heavy. She was completely helpless beneath him, and when Chakotay realised this, he released her wrists from above her head, allowing her to push him away. She didn't though, and Chakotay wasn't sure if that was because she didn't want to, or because she was equally as stunned as him to find herself in such a position.

Their eyes locked, and the desire she saw in his eyes almost scared her, but the desire she felt herself was what shocked her the most. They were alone on this planet, she knew it was inevitable that he would eventually make a move on her, however she wasn't prepared for her own feelings of anticipation of such a moment. They had known one another for almost two years, and although she found him irresistibly hansom and despite the fact that they had a child together, she had never imagined that she could ever think of him as anything more than a Maquis captain she had made her first officer.

Chakotay was torn, he had wished for more from this woman for a long time, and not just involvement in his son's life; he wanted her, he wanted the woman beneath the captain's uniform, and especially over the past month that he had gotten to know her better, he realised he was starting to fall in love with her, and now more than anything, he realised that he wanted her to love him back. The reason he was torn, was because he worried that kissing her now would end all of that, she would only think that he was kissing her because she was the only woman he would ever see again, and she would never believe him if he told her that he loved her, therefore she would never allow herself to return such feelings.

Before he could come to his senses he felt her move beneath him as she closed the gap between them and met her lips to his. He kissed her back, his desire for her erasing all other thoughts in his mind. The kiss very quickly intensified, and he was confused by the fact that it was her who was deepening the kiss, when her hand came around his side and slid up his back he realised how wrong it felt; he had been so worried about her thinking he was using her, it had never occurred to him that she may decide to use him.

Finally he pulled away; he physically pushed himself off from her and sat up, his breathing heavy and the look on her face was very confused.

"We can't do this," he explained.

A look of hurt passed across her face, "what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, then he looked at her and saw the pain in her expression; she obviously wasn't used to being turned down. "We're going to be on this planet together for a long time," he reminded her, "I don't want you to resent me during any of our time together."

"Resent you? I don't resent you."

"Not now," he insisted, "but maybe in the future; I don't want you to feel used, like I'm taking advantage of you."

About to mount a response their conversation was interrupted by the screaming of their infant son. Their gazes remained in a fierce exchange for a long moment before Chakotay turned his head towards his son and realised that he wasn't going to calm down by himself any time soon. Pulling on a shirt to cover his almost dry skin he moved over to where Noah lay, picked him up and held him against his chest, knowing that his son was probably just unsettled to wake from a nap and not know where his parents were, so just holding him close was enough to quieten him down.

Movement in the corner of his eye caused him to look around to see Kathryn standing from the ground, her back to him as she walked off into the trees. Guessing that she probably just wanted some time alone, he moved the now quiet Noah to his lap, supporting him with one arm as he started to pack the remains of the picnic back into the basket; there would be time to talk about what had almost happened later.

/\

New Earth, day 39

They had never really had that conversation in the end. The kiss had gone unmentioned but not forgotten, but days after the picnic they had been struck by a storm. Kathryn had been devastated by the destruction of all her work, after having convinced herself that she was getting so close to a cure, he could tell that she was still upset, but realised that she was taking it as an opportunity to move on.

The past few days their minds had been occupied with repairing the damage and salvaging things that had been blown away. Earlier she had complained how all of the physical labour she had insisted on helping with was giving her knots, and without thinking too much about it he had given her a neck massage. His actions however had forced an intimacy that had started to make her feel uncomfortable, she had quickly excused herself from the room and headed towards her sleeping alcove. He wasn't sure what was wrong, only a week previously she had been very willing to take things to another level, and it had been him who had taken a step back, but then she had started pushing him away again, and he found it difficult to understand what had changed.

About to call it a night, Kathryn had re-emerged from her sleeping area, obviously having been unable to get to sleep. She sat down opposite him at the table, "we need to talk about this," she started.

He thought for a moment of playing innocent, but realised that it would get them no where, "okay," he said evenly.

She took a deep breath, determined to have the conversation, but finding it very difficult to find the words. "It's likely that we're going to be on this planet together for the rest of our lives, I think we need to discuss exactly what our relationship is going to be."

"You mean intimacy?" he forced her to stop edging around the subject.

"I don't think either of us are willing to take a vow of celibacy," she pointed out. He grinned for a moment at the thought, then his face grew solemn as she continued, "so I think we need to establish some emotional parameters."

Not sure he was liking the turn of the conversation he interrupted, "I don't think I could have a casual relationship, not with you."

She frowned, "I don't see how else it could work."

Chakotay sighed, searching his mind for the right response. "Well we're going to have to find a way, because I'm already emotionally involved."

For a moment she looked puzzled, before she interpreted his words in a manner that made sense, "because of Noah."

Her words surprised him, it hadn't been what he had meant. "Not exactly," he replied slowly, not sure how to put what he felt into words. "But I can tell you a story… an ancient legend among my people." She looked at him quizzically. "It's about an angry warrior... who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe... a man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he struggled with the demons inside him, but the only satisfaction he ever knew came when he was in battle. This made him a hero in his tribe, but the warrior still longed for inner peace."

Pausing he stood from the table and started to pace as he considered the rest of the story, hoping that she would think he was just trying to remember the words. "One day he and his war party were captured by a neighbouring tribe, led by a warrior princess," he continued. "She called on him to join them, for her tribe was too small and weak too defend themselves from all their enemies. The warrior princess was brave, and beautiful. And very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first." Again he paused, "and in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."

He turned around where he stood and looked across at her, their eyes locking instantly, "he didn't realize for a long time that what he was feeling was love - because he had never known love before."

There was a long and drawn out silence, and Chakotay worried that he had gone too far with the story, but finally she opened her mouth to speak, "is that really an ancient legend?"

He smiled shyly, his dimples just about showing, "no," he admitted, "but that made it easier to tell you."

Without thinking, as thoughts were now irrelevant she rose from the table and crossed the short space over to him. She looked up into his dark brown eyes for a short moment, and just as he started to wonder what she was going to do next, she rose her lips to meet his and kissed him tenderly. He wrapped his arms around her, a shiver running up his spine at the feeling of how right it felt to have her so close to him.

He kissed her back gently, and although passionately she didn't feel like he wanted anything more than what she was already giving him. As his arms circled around her back she melted into him, feeling Goosebumps appearing up her arms. When they finally came up for air she led him into the bedroom, she saw the conflict flicker across his eyes briefly before he decided to follow her into his sleeping area.

To be continued.

A further disclaimer, to Jeri Taylor who wrote Resolutions, the above retelling of the legend is what she apparently wrote in the original script, where Chakotay really did say the part about how the warrior had never known love before, and Kathryn and Chakotay did kiss. According to myth, the kiss was actually filmed and is somewhere on a cutting room floor right now, we can only hope that one day they release this film for all of the JC fans out there.