A/N-Sorry for the delay. I have no excuses. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.
Addison ran into the living room and stared down at the inert body lying on her couch. She gently pushed away a stray piece of blonde hair. "So what did she say again?"
Derek ran a hand through his hair. "All she said was that she was here to see you, and then she just collapsed." Derek walked closer to Addison and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Were you expecting her?"
Addison shook her head no. "I wasn't expecting anyone. Why didn't she go with the other interns?" Addison placed a hand on Izzie's stomach and could feel that it was slightly swollen. Her brow furrowed as she stood in thought. "We need to get her to the hospital so I can run some tests on her. Can you carry her to the car?"
Derek nodded and lifted the limp body into his arms. As they sped through the streets of Seattle the rain began to pour down. Addison looked out the window and watched the drops slide down. She remembered being a small girl and picking out two rain drops who would have a "race" to the bottom of the windshield. These thoughts caused her to smile and she looked back at Izzie, who was lying in the back seat. What was wrong with her? Why was she sick? And most importantly why had she come to see Addison? As they pulled into the emergency room entrance Addison got out of the car and went inside. She was still wearing her short shorts and t-shirt, and she didn't care who saw her. She walked up to the front desk and told the nurse to call up to the fourth floor and to have them ready an exam room with an ultrasound machine waiting for her. The nurse did as she was told and two guys from the transport department helped Derek load Izzie up onto a stretcher. Derek walked with Addison behind the stretcher. "What do you think is wrong with her?" he asked quietly.
Addison shrugged. "I don't know." She said softly. "All I can tell you is that it doesn't look good."
-Two Days Later- Outside Izzie's Hospital Room-
Meredith slid down the wall outside of Izzie's hospital room. The whole team of interns had been told to come back to Seattle because there was an emergency with Izzie. Once they got there they realized that Izzie was in bad shape, but she was luckily not considered in critical condition. She would indeed live, but would she ever be the same? The interns had been informed that Izzie had had a bad miscarriage. They all breathed a sigh of relief to know that she would be okay physically. However, Meredith knew by the expression on Addison's face as she told them all this that bad news was coming. The bad news was that Izzie was not responding. Her eyes were open and her vitals were good, but she would not respond to any outside conversation. All of the interns were encouraged to try and talk to her, but she continued to remain in her previous state. As Meredith relived the past few days she felt someone sit down next to her. "She is going to be okay." said the smooth voice beside her.
Meredith looked over at Derek and nodded. "Yeah, but will she ever be the same? I mean it's like we talk to her, but nothing is getting through to her." She said exasperated.
"Maybe it is because she knows that none of you can really empathize with her. I mean why should she listen to people who have no idea what she is going through? Sure you can sympathize with her, but can you really empathize with her?"
Meredith thought about what he was saying and saw the truth in what he said. "Well even if that is true I don't know who else could talk to her."
"Ask Addison to talk to her." He said softly as he stood up.
"What?" Meredith asked in confusion.
"You heard me." He said over his shoulder as he walked down the hall.
Meredith sighed and contemplated asking Addison. She slowly stood up and walked in the direction of the NICU. She had gotten everyone else to talk to Izzie, why not Addison?
-NICU-
Addison was standing in the corner of the room fervently charting. Meredith slowly approached and cleared her throat. Addison looked up and gave her a small smile. "What can I do for you Dr. Grey?"
Meredith bit her bottom lip and nervously moved her hands. "Well…I…was…" she sighed and looked up at Addison. "I wanted to know if you would talk to Izzie. I normally wouldn't have asked you, but Derek told me to ask you. I guess he thinks that maybe you can help her." Meredith took a deep breath and continued. "So I came here to ask you to help my friend." Meredith chuckled lightly. "You seem pretty good at taking care of them." She of course was referring to Christina and now Izzie.
Addison smiled a warm smile. "I'll talk to her." She said softly and turned to walk away then stopped. "Meredith," she paused. "You are good at taking care of them too." With that note of encouragement she left.
Meredith smiled and turned to look at the little baby behind her. "Why can't she be mean so I can hate her?" she asked the small child. The baby simply stayed asleep and did not respond to her remark. "Yeah, sometimes I wish I could turn back time and fix all my mistakes. I bet your mom wishes she could turn back time and fix you." Meredith stayed silent as she thought. "Although, you wouldn't be you if she fixed you. So, I wouldn't be me if I went back and fixed all of my mistakes, now would I." She chuckled as the little baby slowly opened its eyes and looked at her. "Okay, I'll shut up and let you go back to sleep. Thanks for listening." She slowly turned and walked out of the room and softly laughed at herself for talking to a baby. In all reality she had been more open with that baby then she had with an adult. Maybe it was because the baby could not talk back to her, or because she knew it would not judge her.
-Izzie's Room-
Addison walked in quietly and looked over at Izzie's still body. She quietly walked over to her bedside and pulled up a chair. "Izzie, I know that you don't want to talk, so I figured that I would do the talking." She sighed and took a deep breath. "I once knew this couple who were so cute together. They did everything together and were amazing together. Anyways, they had been married for about nine years when they found out that they were going to have a baby. They were so excited, and the husband would tell everyone he knew that he was going to be a father. It was so cute." She smiled and laughed lightly. "Well, when she was about six months pregnant they were going somewhere special on their anniversary. He would not tell her where they were going because he wanted to surprise her. As they pulled through a light someone ran a red light and t-boned them. The impact was on her side." Addison looked down at her hands and tears formed in her eyes. "The doctors tried everything, but they could not save the baby and the mom. They asked the father that if it came down to one or the other which would it be, and he said for them to save the mother. Once the mother woke up she knew something was wrong, she could feel that the baby was gone. Her husband told her what had happened and she became furious with him for saving her instead of the baby." Addison looked up at Izzie and was surprised to Izzie looking at her. "Instead of comforting each other, they were yelling. For weeks they were angry at each other. It drove them away." She said through tears. "It drove me and Derek away from each other. It took us months before we had forgiven each other, and even now we still have buried feelings about that night." She tightly closed her eyes and let the tears trickle down her face. "To this day Izzie I miss my baby. To this day I ache when I think about him. He was my son, and I loved him then as much as I do now. But Izzie if you don't forgive yourself, if you don't try and move on, then you might as well stop living. And right now I know that that sounds like a good idea, because I felt the same way. But trust me there are so many people who would be devastated if you died. Izzie they love you, just like Derek loved me. He wanted me to get better and in a way I did, but never really." She sighed and scooted over and sat on Izzie's bed. "You will always miss that baby, but she is still right here." Addison gently placed her hand on Izzie's heart. "She will never leave you." Izzie looked up at her and tears slowly fell down her face. "Izzie you can never ever lose that baby." She choked out through sobs. "She will always be your baby, and you…you will always love her." Izzie's body became racked with sobs and she slowly sat up and wrapped her arms around Addison. Addison pulled her tight and rocked her slowly as she cried. "Shhhh, now there. Just let it out sweetie, just let it out."
Izzie sobbed into Addison's neck. "It hurts. It hurts so much."
Tears continued to flow down Addison's face. "I know, I know." The two sat like this for a while. Neither one knew how long, all they knew was that finally they had found someone who understood why they hurt, someone who could feel their pain.
-On Call Room-
Addison quickly walked into the on call room and shut the door behind her. It was pitch black, and she was glad of it. She had just left Izzie, who had cried herself to sleep. Addison was happy that Izzie had finally broken and that now she could face her problems. But now, now it was Addison's turn to be alone with her demons. She slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands. The sobs that she had once had control on now took the reigns. Her body being too heavy to hold up, she lay down on the cold floor. Typically she would have never lain down on a hospital floor, but today was not a typical day. Today she was letting the coldness of the floor seep into her body. Maybe, just maybe, it would freeze her soul and she would quit hurting. She knew that this was a stupid thought, but at that moment she would have done anything to make the pain stop. She staid in that position for a few minutes before the door opened. She could not see who was staring at her; all she could see was an outline. "Addison." The voice said softly. She closed her eyes and sighed. She knew that voice. The figure sat down on the floor next to her. "Come here." The figure said with open arms. Like a small child, she crawled helpless into his arms.
"Derek, I miss him. Why does it still have to hurt this much?" she cried.
"I know baby. I still hurt just as much too." He lovingly ran his hand through her hair. "I don't think it will ever stop hurting, but this little one will help ease the pain." He said as he rubbed her small stomach. Addison's tears had slowed and her breath was getting back to normal. "Now, why don't I tell the chief that you need to go home and I will take you home?"
"Okay." She said softly.
"Okay." He softly kissed her temple. "Sit on the bed and I will go talk to the chief." She nodded and did as she was told. After Derek told the chief he came back and found her sound asleep. Derek smiled and went to get her things. He arrived a few minutes later with her coat and bag. He gently placed her coat around her and lifted her up into his arms. As he walked down the hall with a sleeping Addison in his arms many workers stopped to look at the sight. Derek grinned as he heard one of the nurses call him McDreamy. He did not see himself as McDreamy, he was just Derek.
-Addison's Apartment-
Addison slowly opened her eyes and looked around. At first she was confused by her surroundings, but she quickly realized that she was at home in her bed. The last thing she remembered was being at the hospital in an on call room. She slowly crawled out of bed and trudged into the living room. She was hit with a familiar smell coming from the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen and found Derek setting the table with spaghetti, salad, bread, and wine for him and water for her. "Hey, is it okay if I stay with you tonight? Meredith is working at the hospital and…"
"No." she cut him off with a curt reply.
He stopped setting the table and looked up at her. "What?"
"Stop, just stop." She said as she ran her hand through her hair.
"Addie what is wrong with you?" he asked as he approached her.
"Nothing, I just have to…you can't stay here tonight." She turned around and walked into the living room, hoping to escape a conflict.
"Addison…wait…why?"
"Because I am moving." She said weakly. "I'm going home to New York. I am leaving next week." She closed her eyes tightly and demanded that the tears stay back.
He stood in shock, not knowing what to say. "Addison…I…"
"Tonight is goodbye." She said as she turned to face him. "I want…I need tonight to be goodbye."
A/N- I told you that she would later think about that dream. Okay, so I know that her deciding to move seems really rash, but next chapter she will explain how and when she decided to move. Next chapter will probably be sad…but maybe with a little something at the end. (evil grin)