Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha™ nor do I own any of its characters or its original plotline. They are the intellectual property of Takahashi Rumiko and will remain so forever. My small claim on this work of fiction is in its creation of the alternate universe plotline, which I assert to the best of my knowledge to be an original product of my imagination. Any similarity to persons(other than the aforementioned characters belonging to Takahashi Rumiko) or events either real or previously imagined is completely coincidental and please excused.
"So you see, being a combat Chaplain puts me in the line of fire more so than most regular soldiers. And being the last man alive in my family line leaves the responsibility of carrying on the family name to me, and one lucky lady, of course," the young man patiently explained to the dark-haired English girl beaming at him from beside him.
"Do you think I could…" she began, only to be interrupted by a loud shout from across the bar.
"Miroku! You lecherous bastard! Why didn't you tell me you were going to be on leave, you sonuvabitch?!"
At this, the young woman smiled and said, "You obviously have some old friends to catch up with. See you around, love," and waved goodbye as she walked out of the bar.
Miroku slapped himself on the forehead as Inuyasha made his way to him from across the room.
"If you were anyone else, you would never see the outside of this building again. I swear Inuyasha, you have the worst sense of timing and the least amount of tact I have ever seen."
"Yeah, well it hasn't gotten me killed yet, and has actually saved me a couple of times," Inuyasha responded coolly.
"Don't expect your luck to hold out forever," the chaplain laughed as the two buddies embraced.
"Well, it's been a long time my friend," Miroku gestured as they sat down. "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Yeah, what the hell!" came Inuyasha's enthusiastic response. "So, what have you been up to?"
"Actually, I'm being reassigned, and promoted." Miroku flashed his new silver rank at his friend.
Inuyasha whistled. "Wow, 1st Lieutenant, huh? I owe you a salute for that one." He stood up, snapped to attention, and whipped his arm up in a salute that was every bit as respectful as the salute to his brother had been sarcastic.
"Cut that out. I thought I gave you a standing order to never salute me…ever!" Inuyasha quickly sat down and took a drink of the beer that Miroku had bought him. "I'm being assigned to the 2nd Ranger Battalion." Inuyasha almost spit his beer all over the bar.
"You're what?"
"Yeah. Strange, isn't it? Who would've thought that little old me would be a Ranger someday?"
"But when was the last time they actually saw action?" Inuyasha inquired.
"Some time ago, but the down low is it's because they've been training for something big. And apparently they want me in on it," Miroku stated smugly.
"Yeah, I'm sure they requested you by name," Inuyasha retorted. He knew full well though that they couldn't have picked a more competent battlefield chaplain than Miroku. Like him, Miroku had been a Japanese-American living in a foster home for several years. Miroku's family had been in America for two generations before him, but since then, the men in his family had all died very young, due to war or crime. Miroku jokingly referred to it as the family's 'curse.' Of course, being a battlefield chaplain didn't help his odds of ending the curse much.
"What about you? I heard you slugged some captain or something. I thought you were iced this time for sure."
"So did I. My brother managed to bail me out and get me a third chance. It's no good though…this is possibly the worst assignment in existence," Inuyasha griped.
"Let's go for a drive," Miroku suggested. He wanted to hear about this one, but not in a crowded room. The two got up, leaving they're half finished beers on the bar.
Once outside, they headed for Inuyasha's jeep. "So what is it?" Miroku asked.
"Oh, it's bad. They've turned me into a fucking bodyguard!" Inuyasha ranted.
"For who? Some General? Churchill?"
"No. And this is the only good part of the assignment, by the way." As they climbed into the jeep, Inuyasha handed Miroku the file on Kagome. He flipped it open and whistled at the picture as Inuyasha started the jeep.
"Quite the dish," he said as they drove away.
"Yeah, and she's twice as beautiful in person; kind of a pill though. Still, overall she's a nice person," Inuyasha tried to express his mixed feelings about her. "Where are you staying, again?"
"The VOQ. Unit 37. So, what's she like? Is she first class celebrity snob?"
"No, I thought she was at first, but it turns out she's a lot like us," Inuyasha described his impressions of the girl. Something was bothering him though—Unit 37…why did that sound familiar? "Did you notice her last name?"
"Higurashi? Yeah…is she related to that guy in the Atlantic from the newspaper? I just read about it this morning—we haven't gotten news in Italy for several months now."
"She's his younger sister." Inuyasha was started to get a feeling of déjà vu as he turned past a very familiar building.
"Wow, that's quite a family. So how long are you guarding her for?"
"Probably until her tour is finished, or until somebody takes mercy on me and either shoots me in the foot or sends me stateside…" he trailed off. A sudden foreboding feeling settling in his stomach as he now realized why everything had seemed so familiar. Kagome was in Unit 38! Oh, this was going to be great…
They pulled up to Miroku's quarters and got out. Inuyasha was trying to figure out how to make sure Miroku didn't go on midnight peeping missions on his next-door neighbor when Kagome suddenly appeared outside her bungalow heading straight for them.
She started to ask "Kusanagi? What time-" she was cut off as Miroku suddenly dropped to his knees grasping her hand. Inuyasha raised his hand to his temples, knowing what was coming.
"Miss Higurashi, I am Miroku. I am in desperate need of your help." He paused for effect, and when she raised her eyebrows in confusion he continued: "Would you do me the honor of bearing my child?"
Kagome looked like she was going to explode she had turned so red. Before she could seriously rob the man's ability to produce an heir, Inuyasha grabbed his officer friend by the collar of his jacket and hauled him to his feet, out of Kagome's striking distance. Glaring at him pointedly, he then turned his attention back to Kagome. When she shot him a confused and questioning look, he felt compelled to explain.
"He's a lech," he said simply.
"There really is more to the story than that!" Miroku protested from behind Inuyasha.
Kagome shrugged and picked up where she had left off. "Kusanagi, I was wondering…" only to be interrupted again, this time by Inuyasha.
"Please don't call me that. It's not me real name." At yet another confused look, he explained more: "That's just the name given to me and my brother by the State of California. After all, we couldn't join the military without a last name." She nodded in agreement, and then he went on. "I prefer to think that I don't have a last name, and I only respond to that name in formations and battle. The rest of the time I'd prefer people call me by my only real name: Inuyasha."
To that, she smiled and began, yet again. "Inuyasha, I was wondering…what time will you be back to escort me to the show?"
Inuyasha looked at his watch, considering. It was 1400 now, and the show started at 1800. She should probably be there about an hour early, so…"I'll be back to pick you up at 1700—sorry, that's-" he got cut off.
"Five o'clock PM, I know. Thank you, and I will see you then, Inuyasha." She gave him a small smile as she went back inside her house. Suddenly, she came back out. "Weren't you supposed to be confined to your barracks after you brought me here?"
"Keh. Yes, but by the time I left because of your uniform fiasco, it was too late anyway. So, I figured since I was already in trouble, why not enjoy myself?"
"Oh…" Kagome looked guilty for a moment. "I'm sorry to have gotten you in trouble, Inuyasha."
"I probably wouldn't have gone back anyway…besides, if they really want to throw the book at me, I'll just tell them it was your fault." He smirked at this last, wondering if she would know he was only joking.
"Oh…alright," she said quietly. Then she brightened. "See you at five, er…seventeen hundred, I mean, Inuyasha!" Then she went back in the house.
Miroku only gaped at Inuyasha. "So let me get this straight: you have to follow a beautiful girl all around the allied bases in Europe, play guard dog for her en route, and watch her at shows to make sure she doesn't get hurt, and you're complaining?"
"Yeah…" Inuyasha replied, sounding half-asleep. "Huh? You bet your ass I'm complaining! I should be in Italy with my buddies! This assignment is bullshit—soldiers aren't supposed to protect individuals, they're meant to fight for a cause and for each other, dammit!" His argument seemed to lack the conviction it had had earlier when he recited it to himself, though, before he had met Kagome. Miroku shook his head and turned towards the building.
Inuyasha followed his friend, who was still shaking his head, through the door to Unit 37. He decided this might be his opportunity to ask for help. "Miroku, do you still have that friend in the War Department?"
"Who, Myouga? Yeah, they've probably shuffled him into the basement to guard archaic files or something by now. Why do you ask?"
Inuyasha paused, considering for a minute. Well, no sense mincing words: "Something is funny about Kagome and her 'assistant.' I've heard off hand references to some kind of authority they wield, and something about a mission that I'm complicating, but am going to be sticking around for anyway."
"Hmmm…I love when women are mysterious like that…" Inuyasha cleared his throat loudly to snap his friend out of his reverie. "Well, um, I suppose they didn't just discuss this in front of you openly, particularly that part about you complicating their 'mission,' did they?" Inuyasha gave him a negative shake of his head. "Well, I think it's safe to say that they are obviously not the routine USO routine. In fact, that whole setup might just be a cover."
"Yeah, but for what?" Inuyasha asked more to himself than Miroku.
"I guess we'll have Myouga check on that for us. I'll give him a call from the Colonel's office later today—more secure that way. Meanwhile," he started with a twinkle in his eye, "it sounds like you've got a busy night ahead of you, my friend."
Inuyasha let loose a growl and reached back to slug Miroku before he was halted by the "Holy Man's" tone. "Temper, temper Inuyasha. After all, hitting a 1st Lieutenant is only one step below hitting a Captain…wouldn't want to ruin your third and last chance, would we now." Inuyasha calmed slightly—or at least appeared to. Then without warning slapped Miroku a little to hard on the back before calling out over his shoulder as he walked toward the door, "Ya damn pervert. Someday you'll find somebody who's your equal, and then you'll be fucked!" Inuyasha had admonished him for his lechery, but was laughing as he did so.
"Boy do I ever hope so," sighed Miroku. Inuyasha's ears couldn't help but pick that up, and he started to chuckle despite himself. Miroku echoed his laughter and called out his goodbyes as Inuyasha started the jeep and called back.
"Oh, and by the way, if I find out you went within twenty feet of Kagome's quarters, I won't care about getting another chance—I'll skin you alive!"
Miroku chuckled knowingly: the poor guy had it bad. Hadn't even known the chick for a day and already he was treating her like she was, at worst (at least in Miroku's point of view) his fiancée, and at best (Miroku liked this theory better, but it didn't lessen the seriousness Inuyasha's threat at all) his little sister.
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"Excuse me, Lieutenant. Mrs. Dobbs requires my assistance. I'll be back shortly." The Colonel excused himself and then left. Hopefully, Mrs. Dobbs would be able to keep him busy the full fifteen minutes he had asked for. Mrs. Dobbs certainly seemed capable and, more importantly, willing to do that for him. Miroku smirked at himself; 'Yes, Miroku you devil, you've still got it.'
He reached for the phone as he heard Mrs. Dobbs and the Colonel leave the outer office. "Hello, operator? This is 1st Lieutenant Miroku Takeda. Yes, I am calling from Colonel Matheson's office. Well, he had to leave unexpectedly and asked for me to make this call for him. Thank you. Could you please connect me to the War Department Records Division? Yes, Mr. Myouga Saitou. Thank you very much, and have a good day, Miss." The elderly woman on the other end of the line had to be in her sixties or seventies, but last minute flattery never hurt. Implying that she sounded much younger than she was a sure-fire way to make sure she didn't feel the need to report the odd call. A few seconds later, the line buzzed, telling him that the call had gone through. An jittery voice picked up a moment later.
"Hello?" it asked quickly, nervously.
Miroku silently cursed. If Myouga was having another one of his fits of paranoia, this might take days…
"Myouga jii-chan! This is Miroku! How are you?"
"Well, I suppose, under the circumstances…"
"What's wrong?" Miroku feigned concern.
"They're at it again," he replied nervously. "The other day, one of those huge wooden shelves nearly crushed me when it collapsed. I warned them that it would buckle under the weight, but they insisted that I file the box on that particular shelf. I don't know if they were just following orders, or if they were acting on their own, or…"
"Myouga! I need some help."
"Heh! So do I…"
"Myouga, we've been through this before…why would anyone want you eliminated—you've worked there for three decades! Besides, they can't get rid of you, you're the only one who can find anything in there."
"That's why I'm worried…they've got me training an 'assistant.' His name is Jaken, and I don't like him…he's much too interested in learning how my filing system works."
"But Myouga, you don't have a system! You just put things around randomly and remember where you put it!"
"And right now that's the only reason I'm still alive."
Miroku let out an exasperated breath. He'd have to hurry up—the Colonel was due back soon.
"Myouga, look I need some help. I need you to look up any records concerning a 'Kagome Higurashi.' Can you do that for me?"
"Oh sure, sure…a whole flood of that 'Higurashi' stuff came through here a few weeks ago after that incident in the Atlantic. But I thought his name was 'Souta?'"
"No, no. This is his sister. She's in England on a supposed USO tour, but there's something more to it than that."
"I'll look, I don't remember any boxes with the name 'Kagome,' but the sneaky bastards might have snuck it in with all of her brother's records…they like to do that you know…"
Miroku swore silently, again, as he heard Mrs. Dobbs voice from down the hall—they were coming back. "Look, Myouga I'd love to chat but I've got to go. Arigato Gozaimasu!" With that he hung up, no doubt leaving Myouga very peeved back in Washington. He heard the door to the outer office swing open and Mrs. Dobbs exclaim in surprise to stall the Colonel a moment longer. Thinking quickly, he connected to the operator again.
"Hello, operator? This is Takeda again. Could you connect me to the Colonel's wife? He wanted me to ask her something." She quickly complied and he thanked his father and grandfather for passing down the smooth tongue trait that allowed him to win people's trust so quickly.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Mrs. Matheson? This is 1st Lieutenant Miroku Takeda. Your husband had to run an errand and wanted me to call and ask you what you were preparing for dinner this evening? Yankee Pot Roast? He'll be very pleased, ma'am. If it tastes half as good as it smells through the phone, ma'am, I'm positive he will be smitten with you for the rest of his life. Thank you, ma'am…you have a good evening too." Miroku put the phone down just as the Colonel walked back into the office.
"What the Hell were you just doing?" the Colonel asked briskly.
"Sir? Oh! Your wife called while you were out, sir. She wanted me to let you know that she was making Yankee Pot Roast for dinner, and that it should be done in about an hour." The man eyed him suspiciously. "I apologize if I overstepped my bounds, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a superior calling, and I supposed it would have been better if it looked as if you had left someone in charge of your office, rather than just leave it unattended. There is a war on, after all, sir."
The Colonel's face softened as he muttered his gratitude. As the meeting picked up where it had left off, Miroku couldn't help but grin. That last compliment to Mrs. Matheson was enough to fluster her to the point that when asked, she wouldn't be able to remember if she had called him, or if he had called her. Miroku's grin widened.
'Damn I'm good.'