A/N- Glad to see that everyone is enjoying the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as much as you did the last.
"I want…I need this to be goodbye."
"What?" Derek asked in shock. "Addison you can't leave."
"Why not Derek?" she asked angrily. "I have nothing here. I have no friends, a job that is more demanding than my one in New York, people here look at me and see a women who had an affair, I have nothing Derek."
"You have me!" he said as he pointed at himself.
"No, Derek, I don't. I thought I did; I thought that I had you and that you wanted to have me, but I was wrong. I never had you, and I never will." Addison looked down at her hands and sighed.
"Addison you have me, and you always have." He said softly.
"Then why are you still with Meredith? Why are you still torturing me? You tell me that you want me and then when you have me you go and have sex with Meredith. Derek if you loved then you would treat me like you loved me. You would treat me like you did before the whole baby and the affair." Addison walked closer to him. "Do you remember how happy we were back then? How we could sense that the other was on the same hospital floor. We used to be able to tell each other how we felt through our eyes; Derek now I can't even tell if you are happy or sad or anything. Your eyes are dark and cold, even now."
Derek stood and thought about what she said. He had never thought that his eyes were cold or dark, but maybe he never realized how much hate and resentment he had built up towards Addi. "Addi my eyes have always been open for you to see through." He said as he stood inches away from her.
"No they haven't. It has been months since I have really been able to see into them."
"Your eyes haven't been that inviting either." He said softly. Addison whipped her head up and glared at him. "Don't take it offensively; I am just saying that you haven't looked the same. Your eyes have looked sadder, unhappy; although I bet I had a lot to do with that." Derek cupped her cheek in his hand. "Addison you can't run away from your problems. I should know; I have been doing it my entire life." Addison looked up into his eyes and saw the sincerity of his words coming through. Derek removed his hand and stuffed both of them into his coat pockets. "Look I know that I can't stop you from leaving, and no matter what I tell you, you will be on the next plane to New York, but I just want you to know that I love you." Addi tried to say something, but Derek stopped her. "I just wanted you to know that I love you; that I always have and always will. I want you to know that you are my best friend, and if you ever need me just call and I will be right there for you." Derek turned around and took his keys of off the coffee table and walked towards the door. Addison followed him in shock. She could not believe that he was actually letting her go without a fight. Derek opened the door and then stopped. He looked back at her and smiled. "Goodbye Addison Forbes Montgomery. I will miss you." He leaned in, kissed her cheek, then left.
"Goodbye Derek." She whispered and watched the door shut.
-1 Week Later-
Derek was sitting at his kitchen table eating breakfast when the doorbell rang. He went to answer the door assuming it was the mail man, since he had been expecting a package. He opened the door and was surprised by who stood on the other side. "Addison what are you doing here? I thought your flight left this morning."
Addison looked down at her feet then back up at him. "I just wanted to stop by and give you this." She handed him a manila envelope that had his name on the front. "Just promise me that you won't read it until I am gone."
"Okay, I promise."
"Thanks. Bye." She quickly turned around and went back to her taxi.
Derek closed the door and went back to his breakfast. He laid the envelope down next to him and studied it. What could Addison have possibly put in the folder? Derek finished his cereal, put the bowl in the sink, and took the envelope with him into the living room. He sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table and poured out the contents of envelope. Before him was a picture of him and Addison, a plane ticket, and a letter. He grabbed the letter and quickly opened it. He pulled it out and began to read Addison's writing.
My Darling Derek,
I am writing you this letter to explain to you the reasoning behind my moving to New York. It is not because you are doing something wrong; it is because I am doing something wrong. You see every time I see you with Meredith I get sick to my stomach. Not because I hate her, but because I hate myself. When I see her I am reminded of how we used to be. How you used to look at me and talk to me, before I had the affair. I blame myself for the way our marriage ended, and I blame myself for you not being totally committed to Meredith. For the past few months I have tried to be just friends with you, but I began to realize that I wasn't ready to be just friends, that I will never be ready to be just friends. Derek I love you, and no matter how much I tell myself that I don't my heart tells me I do. I have already ruined our relationship, and I do not want to ruin yours and Meredith's. But if I don't leave then that is exactly what I will do. I know that you still have feelings for me, but I also know that they are not like they used to be. You see me as a friend, and I see…want to see you as so much more. I hope that you understand what I am saying, and that you see I am not leaving because of you. About the baby; you are welcome to come for the birth, in fact I would really love for you to be there. I have purchased you a ticket for the month of April. I hope you will use it and come to see me and our baby. You will always be welcome to visit us, and I will never keep you from seeing your child. You are probably wondering about the photo. I found it when I was packing the other night. I hope you remember that date that you took me on. Well apparently they take pictures of the couples who are there, and mail the couple the picture. They mailed it to me and here is the extra copy. I love the smile on your face and how happy we look. I hope that this will be how you remember us. I hope you will always remember me as the woman who you once loved, not the woman who cheated on you. Lastly Derek I would like to ask for your forgiveness. I know I have done some stupid things and I want you to forgive me for those. I love you Derek, and I hope to see you in April.
With all of my love,
Addison Forbes Montgomery
The tears were slowly forming in Derek's eyes. He didn't understand why she thought it was her fault. How could she have ever thought that the reason his and Meredith's relationship had been rocky was because of her? Derek sighed and looked around the empty house. It looked so different from his home in New York. Addison had always loved the classic, clean, rich look. She had decorated their house to look just like a Pottery Barn magazine. He chuckled as he remembered that most of their furniture was in fact from Pottery Barn. But his house in Seattle was different. Meredith preferred the modern look with clean lines and solid clean colors. He loved their house in Seattle, but to him it didn't feel homey. It almost felt cold and sterile if no one was home. Derek smiled as he remembered the house he and Addison once had in Italy. They had both fallen in love with it on their honeymoon, so when they had enough money they bought the small house. It was old and rustic, but beautiful. They would escape there every summer, and spend their days shopping, walking, or riding their horses. He always remembered how happy Addison was when she was there. He remembered how beautiful she looked under the Tuscan sun. Derek had asked Meredith once if she would like to go to Italy with him and spend time in the house, but she had told him that she couldn't leave work. Derek sat down on the couch and contemplated both of the women in his life. To him they were as different as night and day, and could not understand why he had fallen in love with both.
-December 23rd- Manhattan, New York-
Derek walked down the street, inhaling the familiar scent of winter in New York. He could smell the street vendors mixed with the white snow. He had convinced Meredith to go with him to New York for Christmas, and he had never felt better. The more he inhaled the purer he felt. It was as if the air could purify his soul. Meredith had declined the walk he offered her, saying she wanted to take a nap. He knew that she was uncomfortable in New York, and he understood that if he married her it would be seldom he could visit this great city. He continued to walk; not paying attention to where he was going. His mind began to travel to Addison. He had not spoken to her since she left, except when he called her and asked her for her address. The conversation had been short and impersonal. Since then he had had no contact with her. Derek snapped out of his reverie as he looked up the steps of a small brownstone. He looked at the address and realized he had walked to Addison's house. As if on autopilot he walked up the steps and pushed the doorbell. He stood there and waited as he saw a figure approach the door. "Hello." She said before she realized who it was. "Derek!" she squealed and jumped into his arms. "Oh my god! What are you doing here?" she asked as he sat her down.
"Meredith and I came here for Christmas." He said as Addison ushered him in. He looked her over and smiled and her now well pronounced stomach. "Looks like the baby is doing good." He said with a proud smile.
Addison rolled her eyes. "Yeah, this baby is making me feel like a whale." She said sarcastically. "How have you been doing?" she asked as they sat down on the couch.
Derek sighed. "Pretty good. I missed you." He said softly.
"I missed you too." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I saw your sister the other day."
"Really? What did she say? Oh, which one?"
"It was Emily, and we just talked about you and about New York." Addison looked away. "She is the only one who liked me."
"Addi that is a big fat lie and you know it. I have heard all of my sisters say they missed you, and even today my mom and dad said that Christmas wasn't going to be the same without you." He looked at her face and then had an idea. "Why don't you come spend Christmas Eve with me and my family? Before you protest I am going to tell you that Meredith will not care, and I know my family would love to see you, and I also know that your family does presents on Christmas and we do ours on Christmas Eve. Therefore, you have no reason to say no." He smiled knowing he had her.
Addison sighed and smiled. "Fine, but I am going to have to go shopping for presents tonight." She laughed. "And you know how much I hate shopping."
"Oh yeah, you detest it." He said as he leaned in close to her. "I could never make you go when we were married."
By now their faces were mere inches apart. Addison's breath was becoming labored and she closed her eyes. "Derek," she whispered right as the phone rang. They both pulled apart and Addison went to answer the phone. "Hello. Oh, hey! How are you? I'm good. Yeah, how is she? Oh that is amazing! I am so happy for you. I would love to, but I already have plans. I'm sorry, maybe we can get together later. Okay, tell Sarah I said hi. Okay, I love you too Mark." Addison hung up the phone and turned around to find Derek on his way out. "Derek, where are you going?" She asked as she followed him.
"How long did you wait after you came here to sleep with Mark?" he asked angrily.
"Derek I am not with Mark! My assistant is with Mark! Why do you always assume the worst of me?" she asked sadly.
Derek walked up to her and cupped her chin in his hand. "I don't mean to, I just…I just want you to be the bad guy and not me." He looked down at his shoes and decided to change the subject. "You look so happy." He said with a small smile.
"I am." She said softly. "I'm also lonely though." She looked up into his eyes and sighed.
"I'm sorry that I haven't called you, I know that I should." Derek pulled her in to hug him. Addison wrapped her arms tightly around him and inhaled the familiar smell. "I promise to keep in touch once I go back home." He pulled her back and looked into her sea-green eyes. He felt like he could lose himself in those eyes. Derek sighed and smiled. "Well I better go home and tell my mom to plan for one more. Everyone is going to be ecstatic to see you. I promise." He kissed her forehead and walked with her to the door. "So you will be at my house at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon?"
Addison nodded her head in confirmation. "What do I wear?"
Derek chuckled. "You always did fret about what to wear." Addison playfully slapped his arm. "Dang woman, you have been working out."
"Don't change the subject." She said forcefully.
He smiled. "Something nice, but comfortable. You will look fine; you always do."
"Thank you." She said as she rolled her eyes. "Now you have to go so I can go shopping."
Derek grabbed his chest in mock hurt. "You mean you would rather go shopping then spend time with me?"
Addison laughed. "Yes, now go home."
Derek nodded and leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. "Bye Addi." He said as he stepped out the door.
Addison waved to him and smiled. "Hey! What do you want for Christmas?" she yelled.
Derek shrugged. "I don't care. You are going to be there with me; what more could I want?" with that he turned around and walked away.
Addison smiled and laid her hand on her stomach. "Alright little one let's go shopping."
-Christmas Eve-
Addison pulled up to the familiar driveway. In front of her was a large house that had been beautifully decorated for Christmas. Derek's parents lived in New Jersey, but worked in Manhattan. So they actually could have a house and not an apartment like Addison had always had. She lived in brownstone, and loved it, but she did miss the idea of a home in Seattle. She parked her car beside the multiple others. Just as she stepped out of her car the front door opened and a whole pack of adults and children came tumbling out. She smiled and squatted down to catch Emmy who, even though she had the smallest legs, was the first one to her. Addison grabbed Emmy and spun her around. All the kids huddled around her and were calling out her name. Addison made sure that she hugged everyone of her nieces and nephews. She looked up and saw Maddie running towards her. Maddie, or Maddison, was seventeen and Addison's closest niece. They had spent a lot of time together when she was younger, and they both adored each other. "Addison!" Maddie yelled as she ran towards her. Addison engulfed her in a hug and they both squealed as they hugged each other. "Look at you! You cut your hair!" Addison said as she pushed her away.
"Look at you! You're pregnant!" Maddie squealed back.
Addison smiled back. "Oh really? I didn't know!" they both laughed and walked towards the house. Addison stopped to talk to Derek's parents Melanie and David. "Hey Melanie." Addison said as she hugged her ex-mother-in-law.
"Hey sweet heart; I am glad that you came. David and I were telling Derek yesterday how Christmas just would not be the same without you this year." Melanie took Addison's hand and walked into the house. "And don't fret about us not forgiving you. We did and we still love you." Melanie looked at Addison and smiled sweetly. "Now, how is my grandchild doing?" she asked as they sat down on the couch in the living room.
Addison rubbed her stomach and smiled. "Good, but I hate having to pee all the time."
Melanie laughed and patted Addison's leg. "I know exactly what you mean."
David came in with a drink and sat down across from the ladies. "Well Mel where is your son? He is almost an hour late."
"I have no clue. He said that he and Meredith had a few errands to run and that they would be back. Who knows with that boy." Melanie took a sip of the drink that David had brought her then turned to look as Addison. "Addi dear, tell me the truth. What do you think of Derek and Meredith?"
"Mel don't put her in that position." David said as he stood up. "Come on Addi the gang wants to see you in the kitchen." David offered his hand to help her up.
"To answer your question Mel, if Derek is happy, then I am happy." She left with David and went into the kitchen.
Derek's mom sat still on the couch and sighed. She did not like Meredith. There was nothing wrong with the girl, but she was not good for Derek. Melanie had always thought that Derek and Addison would always be together, but she was wrong. She had tried to talk to Derek about how she felt, but he had gotten angry and left. Melanie could see how much Addison and Derek still loved each other, but there was nothing she could do about it. Giving up hope for the two of them she stood up and walked to the kitchen to join the fun.
-45 Minutes Later-
"Mom, Dad we're here!" Derek yelled throughout the house. Just as he did he heard the pounding of footsteps coming his way. "Brace for impact." He whispered in Meredith's ear. Just then the whole family came running into the foyer. Derek hugged everyone and loved on the little ones. Meredith was busy talking to his mom when Derek looked up and saw her walk out of the kitchen. He thought she looked beautiful. She was wearing a sleeveless, v-necked, hunter green, satin top. It had the typical maternity waist with a black satin tie that tied in back. He chuckled as he saw her high heels. Even though she was pregnant she still managed to wear high heels. Derek walked over to her and gave her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. None of this escaped Meredith's attention. Derek had already told her that he had invited Addison to Christmas, and Meredith had mentally declared war.
A/N- So what is Meredith going to do? Will Addison fight back? What will Derek do? Will his mom put arsenic in Meredith's egg nog? Come back next time to find out.