Disclaimer: Voyager and its characters are property of paramount.
Author's note: I should warn you that I have continued to stick to cannon on this occasion, so yes, C7 is touched on in this chapter. Although I agree with most JCers that the Chakotay Seven relationship is very wrong, I felt that not addressing it would be cheating, and so it has been included. Don't worry, everything will work itself out in the end.
Chapter 17: Moving On
Six years and six months
On hearing the doors to sick bay open, Chakotay glanced across to see Kathryn hurriedly enter, locate the group and head over towards them. "What happened?" she asked, hands on hips and looking more than a little flustered, but her eyes instinctively wandered over to where her son lay, unconscious and motionless, and instantly her worry rose to another level.
"Your son suffered a minor seizure in response to a sudden elevation in teleneurotic brain patterns," the doctor explained, stepping away from the console he had been working at, "but he has been stabilised."
Kathryn glanced across at Chakotay, and then at Neelix in turn, willing either of them to elaborate, "what was he doing?"
"He was sitting eating lunch with Naomi and Icheb in the mess hall," the Telaxian started to explain, "and I was coming through with the desert when crewman Nicolletti bumped into me. I tripped, and the food went flying, but before anything hit the floor, it just stopped in mid air for a few seconds before gliding slowly to land safely on the nearest table. Before we could really think about what we had just seen, Noah collapsed onto the floor, and I called a medical emergency."
The explanation did very little to ease her panic, "you think the two events are related?"
"Indeed," the doctor interrupted, his eyes focused on the triquarder as he continued to scan his patient, "it would seem that not only does your son show signs of mild telepathy, but in the future I expect him to develop telekinetic skills also."
"Telekinetic?" she frowned, "he prevented the food from falling?"
"That would seem to be the case," the EMH confirmed, his expression grim as it always was when he was focussed on a task.
"Thank you for bringing him here Neelix," Chakotay said, politely giving the alien his cue to leave.
Neelix understood that the parents would want to talk to and ask the doctor more questions in private, and so excused himself from the scene, disappearing out of the door only moments later.
"How is he?" Kathryn hardly noticed Neelix's departure as she moved over to the bio bed to be closer to her child.
"Fine, as far as I can tell," the doctor replied, then saw that she still looked very worried, "he's just sleeping at the moment."
Chakotay felt her gaze shift to him, and so reluctantly he looked across at her, their eyes meeting in a fierce exchange, "is this enough of a bad sign for you?" she asked, reminding him of their argument a few months previously, when she had wanted for their son to be given treatment preventing the genetic changes, and he had been reluctant to agree to the idea of it.
"I can wake him now if you'd like," the doctor interrupted the tense moment, wishing not for the first or last time that Kes was still with him to relieve the pressure of the patients personal issues.
They both nodded and closed in around the bio bed, with the captain standing closest to her son's head, and Chakotay standing behind her, a head taller and still well within view for their son so see them both when he woke. The hologram pressed the hypospray to the boy's neck, and watch as instantly his face twitched back into life, and he opened his eyes.
Kathryn reached out and ran a hand through her son's straight black hair, smiling down at him, relieved when he met her gaze and returned the smile. "How are you feeling?" she asked.
Her question caused him to frown and he started to look further around at his surroundings, he saw his father giving him the same worried smile his mother was giving him, and the doctor holding a hypospray, then he realised where he was. "Why am I in sick bay?"
"You suddenly became ill in the mess hall," Chakotay explained, "Neelix brought you here a few minutes ago."
"Ill?" he looked around at the three people looking down at him, "I don't remember not feeling well."
"What do you remember?" Kathryn questioned, doing her best not to slip into an interrogation mode.
He shrugged, "I was eating lunch with Naomi," he stated, "and Icheb was explaining what it was like to be Borg…"
"To be Borg?" Chakotay raised an eyebrow; his son had before shown an unhealthy interest in the bionic species, and he knew that Noah had no doubt started off the conversation.
"Yeah," he struggled to sit up, "I don't think I want to be one… apparently they never get play time, and the children have tubes stuck in them, and they sleep until they're adults."
Chakotay rolled his eyes, "well, there's still plenty more career options for you to consider," he joked softly, only to receive a glare from the mother of his son, "or not," he muttered.
"Is he going to be okay now?" she looked across at the EMH.
The doctor shrugged, "from what I can tell, it was just the initial shock of using his telekinetic abilities for the first time that caused him to collapse. Next time he should be better able to handle them."
"Next time?" she repeated the words that concerned her the most.
"Well I assume that you will assign maybe Tuvok to help him to use and develop these abilities," he looked to her, and then to Chakotay for affirmation of his assumption.
Kathryn shook her head, and looked to her first officer, "I think that we should go ahead with the treatment," she told him, "before anything like this happens again… or worse."
Chakotay looked across at his son, who was now sitting up and still looking very confused at what was going on. For the past few months he had thought that he was the only thing standing between Kathryn's wish to prevent what was happening to their son, and his wish to see through whatever the caretaker had intended, but now he was coming to realise that it wasn't his decision to make. "Noah?" he looked down at the boy, "do you understand what your mother's talking about?" He received a shake of the head, "you know that recently you've been growing up differently to most human children?"
"Because I'm smarter?" he frowned.
His father chuckled lightly, and nodded, "not only because of your amazing memory and the speed at which you can learn things, but also because of what you did for Kes, and what happened in the mess hall… these aren't things that human children can do, because they're not special like you. Your mum thinks it's best that you grow up like a normal human boy, but to do this, we have to extract the parts of you that are different…"
"You want me to be normal?" he interrupted looking across at his mother, who was starting to realise exactly what Chakotay was doing, "did I do something wrong?"
His parents exchanged a quick look, and then his mother shook her head, "no, you've done nothing wrong honey… but in the future there's a chance that this will make you ill, like the way that it did in the mess hall at lunch time, and I just want to prevent anything bad happening to you."
"Bad?" he looked back at his father, now showing obvious signs of distress and panic, "like what?"
"It's unlikely that the changes that are occurring to you will cause you too much harm," the doctor spoke up, "as your body is getting better and better at adapting to everything that's happening."
"Don't worry about something bad that might not happen," Chakotay tried to calm his son down, "just worry about this: do you want to stay the way you are, and wake up in sick bay every now and again as your development takes an unexpected turn? Or do you want the doctor to make you more like other human boys, where me and your mum can tell you everything to expect?"
"Will I be less clever if I'm normal?" he asked simply.
The doctor realised that he was probably the only one who could answer this question, and grudgingly he nodded, "you'll know everything that you know now, but you won't be able to remember and learn things as quickly, and do your homework as fast as you do it now."
"Then I want to stay like I am," he looked pleadingly up at his father, as if something was about to be taken away from him, and he wanted desperately to keep it.
Chakotay studied him carefully, "are you sure?"
"Yes," he nodded firmly.
"Then I guess we'll hold off from the treatment," he said to the EMH.
The hologram smiled, "I'll need to continue checking up on Noah every week."
"Of course… are there any other tests you need to run right now?"
"No," the doctor shook his head, "you can take him home now if you want. I suggest that you give him an early night, he keeps the cortical monitor on for the next forty eight hours, and he takes tomorrow off school."
"Can I have ice cream?" Noah suddenly looked excited, remembering a time when he had been ill like many of the rest of the crew with an alien flu virus that had been brought back with vegetable supplies from a trading post. His throat had been very sore and painful for two days, and so his father had let him eat ice cream after every meal, including his breakfast.
His father chuckled, "only for dinner," he set up the restriction, "come on, I'll take you back to our quarters."
His grin widened as he jumped off the bio bed, "how many scoops can I have?"
About to answer Chakotay noticed the glare that Kathryn was giving him, "two," he answered, his attention now divided as he met her gaze.
"I guess you win," she muttered, barely aware of the doctor making himself scarce.
He felt a smaller hand tug at his, as his son was obviously unaware of the exchange between his two parents. "This isn't a competition," he stated.
"No, this is our son's future we're talking about, this is a decision that two adults should make; he's too young to make this choice," she shot at him angrily, doing her best to keep her voice low.
"Why are you so opposed to what's happening?" he sounded somewhat strained, "do you forget that the caretaker gave him to us? He is becoming whatever the caretaker intended him to become and you're scared because we weren't handed an instruction manual and told what to expect. Just because you're afraid of the unknown, doesn't mean that you have to turn our son into the normal child that you've always wanted."
"I think you're forgetting a vital point," she said through gritted teeth, not liking that way that he was again pointing out one of her flaws, "the caretaker took your DNA to make Noah, but I was the one who he impregnated, I was the one who he chose to raise our child; if he had have wanted you to raise him with me, then he would have said something to you before he died, or he would have placed us both back on the same ship together. The caretaker never knew that we would end up raising him together, so don't think for a moment that you have anything like the same right I have to make choices affecting Noah's future."
He continued to look at her for a long moment before he said anything, "I'm sorry you think of it that way," he said simply, then turned to his son and lead him out of sickbay, not giving her a second look as they left.
/\
Six years and eight months- Workforce
Kathryn had once asked Chakotay about his relationships before her, he had laughed and rolled over in their bed and told her that there was no one worth him telling her about. But she had pressed the issue, and eventually he had told her about his past as a man who had never really allowed himself to get too close to right women, and had entirely opened himself up emotionally to all of the wrong women. How many? He had shrugged and told her that he didn't keep count, but it wasn't until he revealed to her that he had never held down a relationship for longer than two years, and he had had many one night stands that she realised that he had known many women before her.
At the time it hadn't bothered her, he was an attractive man, and so it didn't exactly come as a surprise to her. Only weeks later they had married, and by then she had forgotten the conversation entirely. And then he had cheated on her, and she suddenly understood why he had been involved in so few serious relationships, and even fewer longer term commitments; he had become so used to playing the field, that it only took a bump on the head for him to slip back into his old habits, such behaviour she knew most women would be very reluctant to put up with.
Soon after their marriage had officially broken down he had been involved in a few affairs with alien women, Kellin being the first after their separation, and then a good number of women after her. But eventually she had gotten used to the fact that he was moving on, and after some time had passed she reasoned that she should probably start to do the same.
She wasn't sure exactly what made him stop. It may have been that she had given up caring, and so he had given up trying to make her jealous. Or it may have been when she asked him to take care of their son, and the new responsibility may have caused him reconsider his life and priorities. Either way, at some point he had stopped sleeping around with the various women they met on their journey back to Earth, and before Kathryn had realised what had happened, she started to become the one leaving a trail of affairs behind her.
The latest was slept soundly beside her, his breathing soft and his chest movements minimal, he was obviously in a deep state of REM, so she didn't wake him. When she had met Jaffen she had had no real memories of her previous life, no responsibilities of the ship, crew or her son, and so no reason to hold back on a relationship with him; but the speed at which she had launched into and progressed the relationship with someone who was up until five weeks previously a complete stranger, scared her.
Although now she was back on Voyager, and had now fully regained her memories, a part of her still wanted to be back on Quarren, and slip back into the role of the relaxed, carefree woman who could readily explore a new relationship with a man who she could see herself settling down with. But she belonged on Voyager, dealing with the guilt and stress and loneliness that came with command.
It was tempting to ask him to come with her, but it would have been selfish for her to ask him to leave the planet that he had made his some, just so that she could have someone to lie beside her at night. So she reasoned that if they could no longer be together, then she might as well enjoy the comfort and companionship that he provided for one more night before Voyager had to depart, and she knew that it would be enough to sustain her for a little longer, to keep herself sane and grounded for a good number of days; and after that she would need to find a new distraction.
"Morning," she smiled when she saw his eyelids flicker before opening.
He grumbled sleepily, but returned the smile, "morning," he glanced at the clock beside her bed, "what time is it back on the planet?"
"Just after midnight," she replied.
Jaffen yawned, "I guess that's why I feel so tired; I'm used to sleeping through these hours."
"Really?" she grinned wickedly, "I don't remember us much sleeping until the early hours of the morning back on Quarren."
He raised an eyebrow and sighed, "maybe that's why I'm still tired; I've had too many late nights with you these past few weeks."
Kathryn snuggled into his side, running a hand across his naked chest, "regret any of it?"
"No," he said firmly, and she craned her neck to meet his gaze, "do you?"
She shook her head, "only that this is all we can have."
He rested a hand on her upper arm and ran his thumb over her smooth pale skin, "you know I think I was starting to fall in love with you."
Kathryn placed her lips to his chest, "I think I could have loved you back."
"Really?" he looked down at her.
She paused so that she could raise herself onto an elbow, making it easier for her to meet his gaze, "we shouldn't talk about this," she told him, a sad and regretful look in her eye.
Jaffen nodded, he understood that she wanted to make their parting as painless as possible, and for her, avoiding the truth was the easiest way to do that. "Okay," he smiled easily, "but I think if we can't talk about it, then we should find something to keep our minds occupied."
Frowning she slowly shook her head, "I can't think of anything we could do," she feigned innocence at his suggestion.
In one swift movement she found herself gently pinned underneath his body as he lowered his lips to meet hers, and before she knew it, she had been distracted from the thoughts of his leaving and what she would do when he was gone, and he was keeping her mind more than a little occupied.
/\
Six years and ten months
Chakotay's jaw dropped a few inches. He didn't mean it to, but he couldn't help it; after almost four years of hardly ever speaking to or interacting with Seven of Nine she was actually now asking him out on a date. "I believe that we would be very compatible," she informed him.
Nodding slowly, (as that was all he found himself capable of doing) he tried to think of the best response to her… proposal.
It was no secret on the ship that he and Kathryn had long been separated and had disconnected all romantic ties to one another. But he had more or less been a bachelor for the past three years for two main reasons. The first was that he still considered himself married, although he no longer wore a ring, even his casual flings with women he met in their passing through the delta quadrant made him feel guilty as if he was cheating on Kathryn. The second main reason was that most of the women on Voyager had labelled him unavailable due to his previous attachment with the captain, and so he had not been approached by any of the women on the crew for they either respected the captain too much to poach her husband, or they feared the discomfort or wrath they may experience being under her command.
So when he was actually approached, he found himself more than a little unprepared, and the fact that it was Seven didn't really hit him for a while after he had started to realise what she was asking him. Now, as she looked at him, patiently awaiting an answer he found himself being forced to make a very quick decision. He could say no, maybe hurt her feelings, forever be alone and prevent being labelled as the man who dated the Borg (again). Or he could say yes, and although it would give him a chance to move on with his life, he wasn't sure if Seven was the right person that he should be doing that with.
She was young, a lot younger than he was, in fact twenty one years younger then him, the gap was such that he was old enough to be her father. Seven was inexperienced, both with relationships and her own emotions, dating her would involve a lot of patience, and time, and effort, and he wasn't sure whether or not he could really be bothered. On the other hand, she was young, and beautiful, and she had the potential to be a wonderful woman, and maybe in time they could develop a good relationship. She also happened to be the only woman on the ship who had approached him since his relationship with Kathryn had ended.
"Sure," he shrugged his shoulders; it could work.
She smiled, "then how about we have lunch together in the mess hall on Tuesday?" she suggested. His eyes widened at the thought of spending time with her, out of work hours and in such a public place. "Is that inconvenient for you?" she asked, noticing his hesitation.
"No, it's not that," he said, about to tell her that in the mess hall they were very likely to be interrupted by the crew, as he often was whenever he ate there.
"I have done my research," she informed him, "and meeting for a casual lunch in a public surrounding provides a mutually beneficial activity as we both require nutrients, and it will give us time to get to know one another better without the pressure of a romantic atmosphere that could be created if we were both alone." She raised an eyebrow, reluctant to give him another option as she had already carefully considered most other options, and deemed them inappropriate for the first date. "However, if you wish, we could do something else."
"No," he smiled kindly, "lunch sounds fine Seven."
"At thirteen hundred hours?"
"I'll meet you there," he confirmed.
"Very well," she nodded politely, "I'll see you there commander."
As she walked away, he found himself calling after her down the corridor, "Seven," she turned around to look at him, a puzzled expression on her face as she considered what she might have forgotten, or misunderstood. "How about you call me Chakotay off duty… especially during our lunch date."
"Of course… Chakotay," she realised her error.
He grinned and watched as she continued her way down the corridor, not quite sure exactly what he was about to get himself into. As he himself walked back in the direction he had been headed he was able to think more clearly about the entire prospect of dating Seven of Nine. She was Borg, and although he had initially been opposed to her presence on Voyager, he had come to realise over the years, that her living on Voyager was both beneficial to her as she regained her humanity, and to the ship with her great knowledge of the area of space, technology and species that they encountered.
It had been almost four years since she had first become a member of the crew, and although she still had some way to go before she could properly lose the label of Borg, and live like any other individual, she had also come a long way. She had integrated herself into Voyager, was much less hostile to the people around her, had learnt a level of modesty, made many good friendships, and now it seemed that she was willing to explore the more romantic side of relationships.
He had just about thought himself into the idea of dating Seven, had come up with many positives of doing so, and was about to feel somewhat excited about the prospect of a new relationship, and then the door he was standing in front of opened, and he came face to face with Kathryn Janeway.
"You're a little late," she stated softly, stepping back from the door and allowing him to walk into her quarters.
Chakotay had been on autopilot ever since he had spoken with Seven, and it wasn't until he saw Kathryn that he remembered where he had been headed and why, and then it struck him; there was one major flaw to the idea of dating a member of the crew: Kathryn. "I'm sorry," he said as he slowly entered into her living area and looked around to see his son sitting at the dining table eating.
"That's okay, Noah hasn't finished his dinner yet," she smiled across at him, pleased to have been able to take the day off and spend some quality time with her child, "are you okay?" she asked, noticing his hesitation on entering.
"I'm fine," he realised that he was now acting a little strangely and tried to shake himself back into a normal frame of mind, "so what did you do today?"
Kathryn was walking over to the replicater, "we went to the park in the holodeck and had a picnic," she started to describe their day, "and then we went swimming, visited engineering because B'Elanna was having some more trouble with the plasma relays, did some painting, and now I'm about to have a cup of coffee," she tapped in her order, "do you want anything to drink?"
"I'm okay thanks," he followed her into the dining area and sat himself down opposite his son.
"How was your bridge shift?" she sat down beside Noah.
"Good," he nodded, "we got a little excited about a few sensor blips for about half an hour, but other than that it's been a fairly uneventful day."
"Finished," Noah pushed back his bowl, having finished his entire desert.
"Well done," Kathryn shot him a smile and gently ruffled his hair, "why don't you pack up your things so that your daddy can take you home."
Even before she had finished her sentence the boy had jumped off from his chair and was running over to the pile of toys and books that he had brought over just in case his mother had been too consumed with work that day to spend any time with him.
"Kathryn, can I ask you something?" Chakotay reluctantly realised what had to be done before he went on any kind of date with Seven, and before the crew started to speculate on what was going on.
"Sure," she looked back round at him and met his gaze.
"We've been apart for a while now," he started, feeling somewhat nervous, but not knowing why he should be.
She smiled and added, "a long while, yes."
"And we've both moved on in one way or another, and I'd like to think that we have become friends," he continued, "friends that can encourage each other and to support each other in their different lives."
"Right…" she frowned.
"Would you be opposed to me dating a member of this crew?" he decided that it was the best way to come out with it.
For a long moment she paused, and he wondered whether or not it was a mistake to have brought it up. "Are you asking for my permission?" she asked.
"I'm asking if you would be okay with it?" he rephrased.
"I wouldn't object," she told him, "but I can't say that I might not find it a little weird at first."
"I know," he nodded slowly, "but you wouldn't treat her any differently because of a relationship that may develop?"
"No," she said, without thinking too much about it, then she smiled, "is there a particular reason that you're asking me this?"
Chakotay considered telling her about Seven, but for whatever reason he decided against it for the time being, and so he shook his head, "I just wondered," he told her instead.
Before either of them could discuss it any further they were interrupted by their son, who had packed everything that he had brought with him back into his bag which he was now wearing on his back. "Are you ready to go?" Chakotay asked, thinking that the conversation with Kathryn could probably wait for another time.
"Yep," he said, allowing his mother to give him a hug and to then place a kiss on his forehead.
"I'll see you later," she said as she walked them both to the door.
"Bye," Chakotay said, as he ushered his son into the corridor, and walked with him back to their quarters.
It wasn't until after Chakotay had left that Kathryn really considered what her first officer had briefly spoken to her about, and it slowly dawned upon her that although she had no right to object to anything Chakotay did in his personal life, the idea of him dating a woman aboard her crew did make her feel somewhat uneasy. They had been apart for three years, and it was somewhat of a mystery why he hadn't moved on in that time; but she had always been silently grateful for that fact, as although she knew they couldn't be together, knowing that he still loved her and was waiting for her was a comfort. Before she could get herself worked up about the idea, she received a communication from Tuvok to report to the bridge, and with the sudden distraction she forgot all about the prospect of Chakotay dating other women and was heading out of her quarters to deal with the new emergency that had arisen.
To be continued.