Disclaimer: Paramount owns all.

Chapter 18: Replacement part I

Six years, ten months and a week

Chakotay sat opposite B'Elanna as they ate dinner alone in her quarters. It had been a long while since they had spent time just in each other's company, and they were both glad that they had made the attempt to do so, as they found themselves catching up on any things that had happened in each other lives, that sometimes they missed out on when they passed in the corridor and exchanged a friendly greeting, or met up for a quick lunch in the mess hall.

"It's weird now that Neelix is gone," she commented, "and not just the absence of Leola root from the menu, but just the entire atmosphere in the mess."

He chuckled at the thought of the much hated food substance, "I know," he agreed, "it's going to take a long time to get used to him not being there."

She nodded, "at least we know that he'll be happy living with his own people again."

"That will be some comfort whilst we're trying to swallow Chell's cooking."

B'Elanna pulled a face, "I'm not sure what's worse: Chell getting in my way down in engineering, or the thought of him preparing the crew's meals; I think the doctor is going to have a busy few weeks dealing with food poisoning."

Chakotay grinned, "the captain's still hoping that someone else will come forwards and offer to be ship's cook."

At his words she looked up and frowned. "You refer to her as the captain now," she pointed out.

He didn't realise the relevance of what she was saying, "so?"

The engineer shrugged, "you always used to refer to the captain as Kathryn when talking about her, often even on duty… and now you talk about her as if she were like any other member of this crew."

His smile dropped completely and his face became almost unreadable, "what point are you trying to make?"

She sat back in her chair, "I guess I hadn't really thought about it before," she explained herself, "sometimes I forget how close the two of you used to be."

He looked down into his plate, "it was such a long time ago, that sometimes I almost forget myself."

B'Elanna paused, not sure if she should pry, but this had been the first real opportunity in a long while that she had been given to talk about it with him. "Why haven't you divorced?"

For a moment she wasn't sure if he had even heard her words, but then he let out a long breath that she hadn't been aware of him holding. "I don't know," he said quietly, "I guess at first it was just because neither of us really wanted to admit defeat. But now it's more a case of avoiding the topic at all costs, and a divorce would involve digging up everything that we both buried a long time ago, and I don't think we're really ready to do that just yet."

She smiled across at him softly when he finally raised his head to meet her gaze, "I remember you were at your best together."

He sighed, "we were also at our worst. It's not like you and Tom, you steady each other, and even when things are bad you're still better together than you are apart. With Kathryn, when things were good it was amazing, I was at my happiest, and it felt like nothing could tare us apart, but just the smallest bump in the road sent us both flying, and suddenly we weren't speaking, or sleeping in the same bed and as a result our duties to this ship and crew suffered. In the end it wasn't worth the good times for the pain we caused each other in-between."

"You still hold out hope though, don't you?" it wasn't really a question, but more of an observation.

"I used to," he said honestly, "and if there wasn't Voyager to consider, I think we would have tried to make a relationship work. But over the years she's changed from the woman who I married, and I've become a different person myself, any hope I did have faded a long while ago."

His words surprised her, "captain Janeway changed that much has she?"

He raised an eyebrow, having assumed that she had noticed the same things he had, but he reasoned that professionally there was very few differences with the captain the crew saw now to the captain who first took command of them seven years previously. But the woman behind the mask of the captain was a different story. "She's a lot less open than she used to be," he explained, "she takes more risks, cares less for herself, pays less attention to Noah, spends more time on her work than she used to…" he paused, wanting to tell B'Elanna about the medication that was still taking, but realised that would be one step too far into revealing things about her private life, "and that's not even the half of it," he said instead.

"I guess I'm not close enough to her to notice such things," she shot him a compassionate look.

Chakotay sighed, "the weird thing is, however much I dislike the woman she has become… I still love her."

B'Elanna reached out and covered her hand with his own, "that's not weird," she reassured him, "there will always be people in our lives who we will never get over, who we never stop loving, despite everything that may happen."

He shot her a small smile, and realising that their quiet and relaxing dinner was about to turn into a night of trading depressing stories he decided to change the topic of conversation. "So are you and Tom ready for the baby?"

She realised that he was trying distract her from further discussing what was still a very difficult area of his life to talk about, but she decided to let it go, and allow herself to be distracted. "Not really," she smiled, "but we're about as ready as we're going to be. I've been reading books, Tom's been badgering the doctor with questions and we've got most of the baby things ready… now we're just waiting."

"Well if you need any time off before you start your maternity leave, just ask," he offered.

Chuckling lightly she shook her head, "I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from engineering even with the distraction of a baby, let alone without one, but thank you anyway."

"Let me know if you change your mind," he raised an eyebrow, "this could be the only chance you'll get in a long while to miss a string of shifts."

She nodded, "I hope you'll put yourself on the baby sitting rota when I start work again, I want my daughter to grow up knowing her uncle Chakotay."

"Uncle Chakotay," he sounded dubious, "we'll give the new title a try, but I'm a little worried if I make an exception for one person, I might open the gates for everyone else to start calling me it."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes, "I very much doubt that's going to happen."

"When I made the announcement that I was Noah's biological father, Tom called me dad for about a week," he countered.

"That's rather disturbing," she commented.

"I know," he folded his arms, "but I've decided to risk it anyway and baby sit for you."

She smiled widely, "thank you."

He returned the smile, but before he could make any further comment his comm. badge chirped into action. "Kim to Chakotay," he heard Harry's voice.

"Chakotay here," he responded, annoyed that his evening with B'Elanna was being interrupted.

"We are being hailed by an alien vessel," he explained.

Inwardly he sighed, knowing that if he was made to go to the bridge, he would no doubt be gone too long to be able to continue his dinner. "I'm on my way," he said, shooting B'Elanna an apologetic look as he stood from the table, "we'll have to do this again some time."

She nodded, "definitely. I'll see you later."

"Bye," he said over his shoulder as he made his way towards the door to her quarters, knowing that the next time they would have time alone together, she would most probably be a mother, and they would have constant interruptions from a baby, but there was little he could do about that, when you were the first officer aboard a star ship in the middle of the delta quadrant and more or less a single father you had to get used to having very little free time.

/\

Six years and eleven months

Chakotay woke with a start, his mind instantly awake and on the alert, his eyes wide open to the darkness of his quarters. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, its rhythm quickened from the unexpected noise that had broken him from his sleep. Laying on his back he listened hard for whatever could have woken him, and hearing nothing he tried to calm himself down, thinking that maybe it had been nothing at all.

Usually when he was woken in the middle of the night it was down to someone contacting him over his comm. badge for a matter that required his immediate attention on the bridge. Other times when he was broken from his sleep it was because Noah was wanting him for one reason or the other, and every now and again he woke up for no reason at all, and for a couple of minutes Chakotay thought that it was just again one of those nights.

Then he heard it again. Muffled shouting coming from his son's bedroom, and before he could even take a guess as to what was happening, he had already jumped from his own bed, and was making his way out into the living area to access the other bedroom.

"Computer, lights minimal," he instructed on entering the room, relieved to see that his son was still there after having terrible thoughts of some form of kidnap. His relief was short lived as he noticed his son in a cold sweat, his blankets a mess at the foot of the bed, and Noah's hair ruffled on his pillow as he turned his head agitatedly from side to side with a pained expression on his face.

"Daddy, daddy," he called out, maybe in his sleep, maybe half awake, either way Chakotay was instantly by his side and sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I'm here," he rested a hand on his son's head, feeling the sweat that had been accumulating on his scalp, "Noah, I'm here."

The boy took a deep breath and forced his eyes open to look up at his father, "the noise," he said weakly, before again shutting his eyes tightly closed, this time bringing his hands up to his ears as if to shut off all external senses.

"Noah, you're just having a bad dream," he tried to sooth him.

"No, the noise, it hurts," he insisted.

Chakotay paused for a moment, just to reassure himself that it really was silent where they were, "Noah, there's no sound."

"There is," he turned his head erratically in both directions, before dropping his hands from either side of his head, "it's so loud."

"What sort of noise?" he thought maybe there was a high pitched sound that only younger ears would be sensitive enough to pick up.

"Voices," he took in a deep breath, "lots of voices."

He looked down at his son, remembering what the doctor had told him about his potential for telepathy, and he reasoned that this could be them taking affect. "Come on," he said, sliding his arms under his son, and gently scooping him into his arms, "I'll take you to sick bay."

Calmly, he carried his son out of his quarters and out into the corridor, vaguely aware that he was only in his shorts and a T-shirt, but at that moment not really caring who saw him carrying his obviously poorly son towards sick bay at two thirty in the morning.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the doctor appeared and saw his commander walking with Noah over to a bio bed, "what happened?"

"Noah woke up complaining of hearing voices," Chakotay explained, realising that it made his son sound like a bit of a schizophrenic.

"How many voices?" the doctor grabbed a triquarder and stepped over to the bed to start scanning his patient.

"Lots," Noah described, "so many, they're all talking at once, and none of them are listening to each other."

"His teleneutrotic nerve endings are active and inflamed," the EMH started to assess the situation, "I believe that he is experiencing some sort of telepathic overload."

"He can hear our thoughts?" Chakotay asked, "everyone on the ship?"

"Maybe," the doctor shrugged, and looked down at the boy laying uncomfortably on the bed, "Noah, do you recognise any of the voices?"

"No," he was quick to answer, "please make it stop."

"Tell me roughly how many different voices you hear," he continued his line of questions, "are there tens of people?"

"More… too many to count," Noah looked across at his father, "they're all scared about something?"

"Scared?" Chakotay repeated, "of what?"

He shook his head roughly, "of the attack."

"What attack?" he noticed the doctor picking up a hyprospray in the corner of his eye.

Before he could answer the hologram had stepped back over, "I'm going to give you something to dull the noise," he explained, pressing the medication to the side of the boy's neck and administering it after having been given a nod of consent from his commander.

They waited a minute or two, "they're still there," he complained, but obviously now in much less pain.

"But are they as loud?" Chakotay asked.

"No," he shook his head, "they're like a fuzz at the back of my head."

The doctor grinned triumphantly, then looked across at Chakotay to meet his gaze, "would you like me to call the captain?" he had noticed that the first officer wasn't wearing his comm. badge.

He thought for a moment, but then shook his head, "no, she hasn't been sleeping well recently; I don't want to worry her about this until the morning."

"Very well," he decided it was best not to get involved in whatever war was now waging between the command team; if she was angry later that morning that she hadn't been called, then he would direct her to Chakotay.

"Can I take Noah back to my quarters?" he asked.

"No, I want some more time to examine what's going on; the medicine I gave him is designed for betazoids, and isn't meant for long term use, I need to determine the cause before I can properly treat your son." He looked back down at Noah who now looked much more relaxed than when he had first been brought in, "I suggest that you try and go back to sleep Noah; you're going to be in here for a while."

Noah nodded slowly, and moved his gaze back over to Chakotay, "daddy, can you stay with me?"

"Of course," he took a step closer to his son's side, "try and get some sleep, and let the doctor do his work."

Giving his father a small smile, he closed his eyes and as his father gently stroked his hair he took no more than a few minutes to fall asleep. After remaining by the side of the bio bed for a long time after that, Chakotay decided that he should return back to his quarters whilst the corridors were still mostly deserted at such a late hour, take a shower and get dressed before the alpha shift started and people would start to consider it extremely odd that he was still in his nightwear.

-

Kathryn stood beside her first officer in the turbo lift still refusing to speak to him. He had come to her quarters only ten minutes previously to tell her that their son had been taken ill and was in sick bay. She had then been told that Noah was experiencing problems with the telepathic receptors in his brain, and that the doctor wasn't sure how to treat it. To then be told that all of it had started five hours previously did not put her in the best off moods to start off the day.

To say that she was angry at Chakotay for not having called her straight away was somewhat of an understatement; the fact was that she was furious with him. So much so that she found that she was unable to articulate exactly how she was feeling to him. It was probably just as well that she didn't say anything, as her words would have included many 'I told you so's for having refused their son the treatment she had wanted to give him for so long, and many words of an explicit nature.

They walked side by side down the corridor, remaining in an eerie silence, one that a couple of the crew picked up on as they passed, but said nothing but a greeting for fear of the snappy reaction to a question or remark. Finally they entered sickbay, to see Tom Paris standing by a monitor, and the doctor sitting in his office going over what ever findings and scans he had made.

"Morning," the reluctant nurse smiled politely when he saw the two of them enter, not missing the obvious tension between them.

"Morning Tom," Kathryn nodded in his direction as she headed straight over to where her son lay.

"How is he?" Chakotay asked.

"Still sleeping," he explained, "the doctor's locked himself in his office, I advice that you don't disturb him unless completely necessary."

Kathryn tidied her son's hair before placing her hand on his cheek. "Hi there," she smiled softly as his eyes flickered open.

He smiled weakly back up at her, "where's daddy?"

"I'm here," Chakotay suddenly appeared over her shoulder.

"I woke up a while ago, and you weren't here," the boy looked confused, thinking that maybe he had imagined it.

"I went to get mum for you," he explained his earlier absence.

"Don't leave me again," Noah pleaded.

"I won't," he promised, noticing Kathryn take a step back as she reluctantly realised that her absence hadn't been missed. "Does it still hurt?" he asked, deciding to console the mother of his child later.

He nodded, "a little, but it's not as bad. I was listening to some of the people earlier, if I think hard I can concentrate on different voices."

Chakotay smiled softly, "who did you hear?"

Noah shook his head, "it wasn't anyone I know… who are the Kazon?"

The shocked expression he suddenly felt on his own face, out of the corner of his eye he saw being mirrored in Kathryn's. "They're a group of aliens whose space we were passing through when you were a baby. Why do you ask?"

"Because that's who they're scared of," he explained.

"Who are scared of the Kazon?"

"The Ocampans," Noah stated, not at all aware of the significance of what he was saying.

Chakotay felt Kathryn resting a hand on his shoulder as she came back around to the side of the bio bed, "are those whose voices you're hearing?"

He nodded slowly, looking quickly from one parent to the other, and noticing their worried expressions, "am I doing something wrong?"

Turning to face his captain he found her already looking up at him as she muttered, "you said you thought he was hearing the thoughts of people on the ship."

"I did," he was as confused as she.

"Ocampa is thousands of light years away now," she needlessly reminded him, "how the hell, and why can he hear them?"

About to suggest that their son could have been mistaken, that he was piecing together pieces of a bad dream from stories he had heard from the crew over the years, they were both horrifically distracted as their son started to convulse where he lay. The doctor was instantly running over from his office, and Tom was wheeling over a trolley loaded with medications and instruments that they may need and all Kathryn and Chakotay could do was watch helplessly as Noah slipped into a violent fit.

Tom shouted out readings that he was taking, and the doctor hurriedly attempted medication after medication, not even waiting for consent from the parents of his young patient. After one final hypospray Noah settled down and minor adjustments were made to the boy's cortical monitor as the alarm continued sounding. "I'm placing him into a coma," the doctor finally explained.

"Why?" Kathryn asked, barely aware of the fact that Chakotay's arm was now around her, his hand rested gently on her side.

"The telepathic input suddenly intensified," he explained, "his brain is unable to process what's happening."

"Just before this happened he mentioned that he was hearing thoughts from people on Ocampa," Kathryn informed him.

The doctor tilted his head to one side, and then nodded, "that would make sense; Ocampa's population was several million when we were there seven years ago, even hearing a fraction of such a large population would be enough to overload any telepathic mind."

"But Ocampa's so far away?" she pointed out.

"There have been studies that have shown that certain types of telepathy can breach subspace," he reasoned, "I am not programmed with details of such studies; I will have to search Voyager's data banks later."

"What happens now?" she asked.

Shrugging the hologram rested the instruments he had been using back on the top tray of the trolley, "we wait. I'll run some more scans and conduct some more tests, but other than that I really can't tell you what to expect, or what can be done to help him… his best chance at the moment is if his body adapts by its self to these new developments."

"Is the option of halting the genetic changes still open?" she asked, thinking that now maybe Chakotay might be a little more willing to go ahead with it.

Regretfully the doctor shook his head, "I'm afraid not," he said, "I considered that several hours ago, and it would seem that Noah's genetic alterations are too far gone to just stop or reverse; it would no doubt do him much more harm than good."

"He had his check up last week," Chakotay sounded frustrated, "and you said that he was perfectly fine."

"Oh don't be so naïve Chakotay," Kathryn turned angrily round to him, "I've been telling you for the past year that something like this was bound to happen."

Tom realised the warning signs of an argument, and discretely took a step back to look at the most distant monitor, in the hope that if he was out of sight he would avoid getting drawn into their personal disagreement.

"You didn't know that this was going to happen," he took his arm from around her and took a small step back, "at the time it was nothing more than a misplaced fear."

"Not so misplaced though now is it?" she shot back.

"You're loving this aren't you?" he folded his arms, "finally a chance to turn around and say that you were right all along."

"I don't enjoy seeing our son like this," she waved her arm in the direction of where Noah lay.

"Oh right," he smiled bitterly, "because for about the past three years there I thought you didn't care."

"You have no right to bring that up every time there's a matter concerning our son," she told him through gritted teeth, "I love him just as much as you do, and it's your fault that we aren't raising him together."

"My fault?" he raised an eyebrow, "you're the one who became unbearable to live with."

"I miscarried our child," she found it difficult not to scream at him, but somehow managed to restrain herself, "I'm sorry that I was a little upset about that."

"It's never been about that," he insisted, "this has always been about you never being able to come to terms with stranding Voyager in the delta quadrant. You still can't accept that Noah is part of an alien being, and you won't let me close enough to help you, because you're afraid that if you let me in completely, you might be unable to cope if something happened to me."

"Don't pretend to know me Chakotay," she shot him a penetrating glare, annoyed that he had summed her up so well, and wanting to hurt him as much as he was hurting her, "have you considered that maybe the reason that I haven't let you in, is because I've never trusted you enough to be able to do that."

She started to walk away from him and towards the exit of the sick bay, "where the hell are you going?"

"Bridge duty started ten minutes ago," she explained.

"Fine, walk away," he shouted after her, "I suppose I should be used to that by now."

To his disappointment his words didn't force any further reaction out of her as she continued in the direction she was headed, and only moments later she disappeared through the doors. He looked after the closed doors for a few long seconds, before remembering that he was in company and turning around to apologise, realising as he did so that the doctor and Tom had already made themselves scarce, having probably realised their commanding officers need for privacy.

To be continued.