chapter 5: the new year's snowfall

cw: internalized homophobia, normal jjk gore

Suguru's first kiss is in early December, on the evening of the first snowfall. He shouldn't think it's romantic, but it is. He and Satoru are out in the city, because Satoru loves Shibuya and thrives on its throes of activity and flickering lights. Even though Suguru still hates the noise, he finds himself stretching for Satoru, because that's what the Gojou heir needs in a friendship. Suguru does not entirely mind. Satoru stretches for him too: he carries hair ties in his pocket, splits chocolate cake with him instead of strawberry, buys extra packs of gum and bottles of green tea on missions so Suguru never has to sit with the foul taste of curses for long. They are little things, but coming from someone like Satoru, they are meaningful, and in turn, Suguru sacrifices his preference for a quiet night in so that Satoru can be happy.

"Sucks for Shouko," says Satoru when they step out of the restaurant, their bellies full of the best curry Suguru has had in a while. "She would've loved that place."

"I'm sure sensei is treating her to something delicious," Suguru replies. "We got Kobe beef on our last mission."

"What?" blanches Satoru. They wait at an intersection until the walking light turns on. Satoru wants to go to a dessert café, even though the curry place had given them ice cream. "I just got cart ramen!"

"That can be good too."

"It's not fucking Kobe beef!"

"Well, our mission was in Kobe, so sensei said we might as well get it since we were there…"

"Are you serious? This is favoritism! I'm going to tell Yaga-sensei!"

Suguru arches an eyebrow. "You think Yaga's going to side with you over Morimoto-sensei?"

"This is all a conspiracy," complains Satoru. "I deserve a nice reward too! Last time, I even worked really hard and helped her Constrain a Grade One that could create a fourth dimension!"

"It could create illusions, you dumbass, not dimensions."

"Are you challenging my Eyes?"

"No, I'm challenging your brain. Plus, sensei's report said there were actually three Grade Ones she was supposed to capture, but you blew up the other two."

Satoru winces. "Dude, why were you reading that?"

"I offered to write up our mission report, and she gave that one for me to use as a template."

"How are we friends?" despairs Satoru. "Why are you such a goody-two-shoes?"

"Maybe if you tried harder, sensei would buy you Kobe beef too."

"Forget it," he sniffs. "I can buy myself Kobe beef, I don't need her for validation."

"Sure," Suguru rolls his eyes. "I'm surprised Shouko went too, when Mei-senpai was already going. Shouko hates field work."

Satoru shrugs. "Whatever. I'm not complaining. I like when it's just us two, too."

Suguru's stupid heart skips a beat. He doesn't understand how Satoru can be so casual when he says stuff like that, and he wonders if his friend even means anything more by it. He hates when Satoru catches him off guard like this. Bantering with him is easy, insulting him fun even, but when Satoru spontaneously gets real and honest and even…sweet, it makes Suguru's brain go haywire. He thinks about Satoru a lot—it's hard not to, he sees him more than anyone else—and he sometimes thinks about Satoru in ways that he knows he shouldn't and is trying to process those thoughts already, but doesn't know how other than to ignore them. Lately though, he's been staring at Satoru's lips, or his collarbones when he wears V-neck sweaters (he claims he looks good, Shouko calls him an attention whore, Suguru agrees with both of them), or his jeans, and it's…becoming a problem.

"Suguru?" Satoru tugs at the crook of his elbow. "Light's green, man."

"Oh, sorry." They join the crowds crossing the street.

"Did I say something?" Satoru asks, and if Suguru's not crazy, he almost sounds tentative.

"No," he shakes his head. "I was just thinking, uh…I like it when it's just us, too."

Satoru shoots him a small smirk, and Suguru's stupid heart skips two beats. He hates himself.

Satoru still hasn't let go of his elbow, and instead uses this point of contact to guide them. Suguru isn't confident that Satoru knows where they're going, but he follows him all the same.

"Suguru, look!"

Satoru points up at the sky. They are right under a lamppost, casting warm golden light that diffuses softly onto the street. Snowflakes float in the air, their descents lilting, their arrivals gentle. In the lamplight, the snow is magical, framed against a dark purple sky awash in yellow haze. For a moment, Suguru forgets they are on a busy street full of strangers. The negative energy that always weighs heavily on his shoulders whenever he's in the city dissipates as the people around him look up at the sky too, eyes wide with wonder.

"Well, isn't that lovely," Suguru smiles.

He can feel Satoru's eyes on him.

"Yeah," he murmurs. "It is."

Suguru looks at him. He wishes Satoru wasn't wearing his sunglasses. He knows him well enough to decipher his expression though; not that it matters because right now, it's less seeing, more feeling, and he knows Satoru is feeling whatever this is, too.

Satoru pulls him forward by his scarf and, before Suguru can really think all the pros and cons through, presses their lips together. He's salty like curry, dry and chapped by wind, and probably not good at this but Suguru wouldn't know. Satoru breaks apart before Suguru can respond, probably because Suguru doesn't know how and is instead frozen to the ground. They stare at each other—or rather, Suguru stares at his own wide-eyed, flushed reflection in Satoru's shades. Snowflakes fall between them. He can't find the ones that disappear into Satoru's hair.

Satoru opens his mouth first.

"Just kidding?" he offers.

"Shut up."

Suguru grabs him by the wrist and drags him to the nearest alleyway, away from the onlookers who are pointing and whispering at two tall teenage boys kissing in the middle of Shibuya. Out of sight, he pushes Satoru against the dirty brick wall, takes off his sunglasses, and stares up at him. It is unfair that something as powerful as the Six Eyes is so breathtakingly beautiful too—a shimmering sea, a shifting galaxy. Something in Suguru stirs, it's probably his stupid heart, jumping like a jackrabbit. He cradles Satoru's cheek, leans in, and kisses him. Satoru's arms wrap around his waist, pulling him close, and even through their sweaters and jackets, Suguru thinks he can feel Satoru's heart beating fast too.

The dessert café is closed by the time they get there. He thinks Satoru will pout, but instead he laughs, and says that despite not getting cake, it is still the best birthday he's ever had.

"After this," says Mei as they walk back to campus, "we're even?"

Yuna nods. "Yes."

She is decently tired after their mission, which involved investigating a potential Special Grade cursed object (it turned out to be Grade One) guarded by a heavy shroud of curses. The object was successfully retrieved, but casualties had been immense—five civilians mutilated terribly, one as young as twenty. (Shouko had commented that maybe they were asking for it, working at a doll assembly factory, but Yuna does not think people with a plethora of job options would choose to work at such a factory in the first place.) Yuna dropped Shouko and the cursed object, the original model of the first edition doll, off at the school first so the first-year could go to bed while Yuna returned the rental car. Mei offered to keep Yuna company, which she normally would not have, but the privacy allows them to discuss the circumstances that allowed Yuna to force her on an extra Grade One mission, unpaid.

Mei frowns and shifts on her feet. "You're not going to tell Yaga-sensei? Or Gojou-kun?"

Yuna doesn't reply immediately. "I considered it. But if I did, it would mean I don't trust you. And I don't want to not trust you, Mei-san."

"That's nice, Yuna-senpai, but that's probably not the smartest thing to do."

"You'd rather me tell them?"

"No. Gojou-kun might kill me, and worse, Yaga-sensei will suspend me and that'll disqualify me from my Grade One promotion. Do you know the salary jump between Grade Two and One? It quadruples."

"Your avarice is what got you into this mess, Mei-san."

"I get it. Money is really the only thing I can trust though."

"I would not call money from the Gojou family trustworthy."

"They just wanted check-ups on their kid, which Gojou-kun never gives them. I thought it was benign. How was I supposed to know that was going to lead to an assassination attempt? It wasn't like I was giving information to the Zen'in clan."

"The Three Great Families have spies everywhere. You should know, since you were hired to be one," Yuna says a tad coolly.

"It wasn't phrased as 'spy,' it was 'reporter!'"

Yuna just looks at her, and Mei sighs. A puff of smoke appears in the air with it. The temperature has dropped, and light snow is falling. The sound of her scrolls clunking softly together resonates with each one of her steps, a pleasant hollow plunk.

"I apologize," says Mei. "I already quit. It won't happen again."

"I know." Yuna thinks she believes her. "Just…you are normally so thoughtful and careful, Mei-san. I worry money makes you careless. Don't forget how powerful even boring information can be. I don't want any students getting hurt again."

"I understand. I'm sorry, senpai. I'll still owe you, after this."

Yuna waves her hand. "It's fine. You helped with the mission. You can donate the money you earned from the Gojou family to the school. That should suffice."

"Seriously?" balks Mei.

"Mei-san, there needs to be consequences."

The third-year pinches her nose. "This hurts more than when that Grade One punched me through two walls." She waits, as if hoping that Yuna will take pity on her and change her mind, but she doesn't. "Fine. Yaga-sensei is going to know I did something bad. Me, donating?"

"I believe your heart is more generous than you think."

"Nope," says Mei with full, unashamed confidence. "It's not. Yours, on the other hand, is going to get you killed, senpai."

"I would not describe myself as generous," says Yuna after thinking about it.

"Does Gojou-kun even know that you got him out of a mission?"

"I did not see the need to tell him."

"Point proven."

"I just wanted to give him his birthday off, Mei-san."

"All of us have worked on our birthdays, senpai. It's not a big deal."

"I know. But…I thought he would bring it up, but he didn't really, so I don't know if he wanted to celebrate it or not, but I wanted to give him the option." Yuna tugs her jacket closer to her body. "Students shouldn't have to work on their birthdays."

Mei gives her a look. "The jujutsu world doesn't work that way."

"I know," Yuna admits. "If it had been an emergency, or a Special Grade mission, then certainly I would have given him the assignment. But…"

"This one, you could rope me into handling," sighs Mei. "All right. I owe Gojou-kun anyway, for tattling to his parents. How'd you know it was me, anyway?"

Yuna can tell this is the real reason Mei offered to stay and walk with her. Yuna wants to trust her, but no matter how kind-hearted Mei thinks she is, Yuna is not stupid. She gives a half-truth.

"Just process of elimination. Yaga-sensei had already cleared the auxiliary managers. I was the only new sorcerer hire. Only the students remained, and no one else really knew about the private lessons except for you and Utahime-san."

"You didn't suspect Utahime?"

Yuna shakes her head. "No."

Mei understands without further explanation. Utahime, for all her bluster, is probably the most pure hearted among all the students.

Yuna does not add that the real factor that tipped her off was Kamo Ryuusuke mentioning Satoru's driving lessons. Up until that visit, no one, not even the other two first-years, knew about the lessons because Satoru is deeply troubled by how difficult he finds driving (something about traffic lights overstimulating his Six Eyes). They practice in an empty parking lot outside of the school's boundaries, and several times, Yuna has noticed a crow perched on a stop sign that stares too intently at them.

They remain in silence until they arrive at the school and go their separate ways to their respective dormitories. Mei gives an uncustomary full bow.

"I apologize for everything. Thank you for keeping it a secret. It won't happen again, Yuna-senpai."

"I understand. Thank you for all your help today, Mei-san. Goodnight."

She makes her way toward her room, looking forward to a warm bath and cup of tea. Mission volume has been hefty recently, and lessons require more planning now that the students have flown through the basic materials. Yuna has started reading Cursed Energy theories before bedtime, to try and better understand how to help Shouko and Satoru. She has also been training with the students, who have been tremendously helpful in that they are stronger than any curse she will encounter.

On the way back to her room, she passes outside the student's dormitories. Satoru's lights are on, and his uninhibited laughter bellows through the screens.

"I take it back, Shouko. You're the nicest person ever."

"Just shut up and eat the cake."

"What else do you have in your bag?"

A plastic bag rustles and glass clinks. The two boys gasp.

"Whoa, where'd you get that?"

"It's why I offered to go with sensei on the mission. I knew we were going to stop in the city for dinner and I told the restaurant owner I wanted to bring a bottle back for my parents."

"Sensei didn't say anything?" Suguru sounds dubious.

"She was paying the bill."

"You're so smart, Shouko. And a pathological liar."

"You're welcome."

"Yo, do you think curses can get drunk?"

"Are you somehow drunk already?"

"Suguru, bring one out, just a small one, let's see what happens!"

"Don't you dare waste expensive sake on some stupid curse!"

"Fine, fine…you guys went to Ginza? What'd you get for dinner?"

"Sensei took us to some fancy sushi place with sixteen-course omakase."

"Are you serious?! I got ramen from a stall! How is this not favoritism? She never gets me anything nice!"

Yuna hums. The students are gathered past curfew, but she will let it slide this time. She silently wishes Satoru a happy birthday, thanks the gods with a minor prayer for auspiciously coinciding it with the first snowfall, and turns in for the night.

Satoru does not think he's been happy until he came to Jujutsu High. It sounds dramatic, and it's not like his life was sad, per se. He thinks being the Gojou heir beats whatever dog fight is constantly brewing in the Zen'in compound, but he doesn't think he knew what being happy was until these last five months. Sure, missions can be grisly and it's not really fun bagging squelched corpses, but he and Suguru recently faced a Special Grade that created a partial Doman Expansion, which was really cool. Yuna's lectures have moved beyond the basics and they're starting to talk more about theory in practice. Even though Yuna herself cannot create a Domain, she has a good understanding of it and the supposed circumstances necessary to first activate a Domain, and they spend their afternoons trying to replicate the physical and mental exhaustion required for it.

The individual lessons continue. Yuna tells Shouko that she should consider obtaining a medical license to grant her access to civilian morgues across the country, not just at Jujutsu High, and helps her with practice exams. Suguru actually likes learning about complex seals, like how to make Curtains tailored to certain conditions or individuals, and sometimes Satoru tags along, even though he's not interested. Yuna forces him to learn how to at least cast a basic Curtain, using driving lessons as leverage (in her deadpan way, "If you don't want everyone to know about this great weakness of yours, Gojou-kun, casting a Curtain can hide this humiliation from the other Great Families. I hear the Zen'in heir is an excellent street racer.") Though Satoru has no idea how Yuna knows the hobbies of the Zen'in inner circle, the mere thought of Zen'in Naoya being remotely better than Satoru at anything is enough motivation for him to begrudgingly cast a Curtain before every Thursday's lesson. He thinks he's getting better. Yuna just hums.

It's busy, in a good way.

The New Year arrives after the winter surge peters out. With the holiday spirit, leaked negative cursed energy trickles to a minimum and with it mission work, so students are given a short holiday break. Mei travels home to spend the season with her newborn baby brother, while Utahime's parents have been begging her to come home for months. The first and second-years all stay on campus. It comes as a bit of a surprise because Satoru assumed both of his classmates' parents would be dying to see them, but Suguru has already arranged to go home in mid-January for Koshougatsu, and Shouko's parents are on vacation in Thailand. Satoru himself has little interest in returning home, and therefore doesn't.

The second-years decide to climb Mt. Fuji together. Satoru kind of wants to join, but Shouko vehemently vetoes this, and he would rather spend time with his classmates than with Kusakabe, whom even Yuna finds lacking. (She had previously mentioned that she'd tried sticking a talisman with the word "Courage" on him, to little effect). Instead, Yuna drives her students to Koburi Pass, about an hour outside of Tokyo, where they eat soba on the mountain after a fairly painless hike, and then spend the night there so they can wake up early to watch the first sunrise of the New Year together. The students mention the foods they'd like to eat and the activities they'd like to do, and somehow Yuna arranges for all of them—they try to make mochi together before just giving in and buying it, eat a proper feast on New Year's Day, and visit the shrine together and get their fortunes. When their whims that require more effort are fulfilled, Yuna leaves them alone to their own devices, insisting that they spend time together without an overbearing teacher. Even without babysitting them, Yuna seems busy on her own, frequently leaving campus grounds despite having no missions, and with cryptic answers when probed about what she's up to.

"Think she has a boyfriend?" asks Shouko, blowing out a ring of smoke. They're in Suguru's room, late at night, having finished four bottles of sake and a pack of cigarettes between them. Outside, giant snowflakes fall, coating the grounds in a fluffy layer of snow that will be perfect for angel-making in the morning. Satoru's mind is warm and fuzzy, and he's leaning quite heavily on Suguru, which probably means he's drunk.

"I doubt it," says Satoru. "If she did, I bet he's pissed she spent New Year's with us."

"Where's she always running off to then?"

"It's none of our business, Shouko." Suguru waits for his sake to warm. His feet tickle Satoru's under the kotatsu. "I hope she has someone in her life."

"Does anyone know what happened to her husband?"

"No idea," Satoru says. "Utahime and Mei didn't even know she was married."

Suguru frowns. "So you blabbed to them?"

"They knew already, after the Kamo visit!"

"Because you fucking called her 'damaged goods' like a...well, member of the Great Families."

"I was just trying to get information! And then I asked Yaga-sensei and he told me to stop being a nosy git and practice my Red, as if he knows anything about it." Satoru sighs dramatically. "If my family heard about how the Gojou heir is so disrespected at this school, they'd withdraw their endowment immediately."

"They'd withdraw you too," remarks Shouko, "so go on, tell them. I dare you."

Satoru sticks his tongue out at her but doesn't respond. Shouko grins at him and lies on the ground so that all they can see is her cigarette butt glowing like a chimney.

"I bet her husband was a dick," she says. "I hope he's dead."

"Damn, Shouko, that's cold. You don't know anything about them."

"I know she was almost definitely underage when it happened, which means he's a dick."

"…I guess that's true. Though it happens a lot in jujutsu families."

"Doesn't make it right. And she keeps saying she's from a lay family."

"Why are you so invested in this anyway?" says Satoru. Under the kotatsu, his fingers are loosely laced between Suguru's. "You jealous or something?"

Shouko's outstretched arm appears above the table and flicks him off. Her black nail polish is chipped.

"Sensei doesn't like talking about it, so we shouldn't push it." Suguru's cheek rests on Satoru's shoulder, and his breath tickles Satoru's skin with every word. "As long as she feels safe here, it's really all that matters."

"You're such a goody-two-shoes," says Satoru affectionately.

"Fuck you," says Suguru without a trace of bite.

Satoru sets down his sake cup and brings his hand under Suguru's chin. He slots their lips together, open-mouthed and hungry, hears Suguru take a sharp breath in and presses deeper. It amazes him how good it feels sometimes, kissing Suguru, when he's sober, when he's not, without tongue, with it—

"If you two are making out again, I'll fucking kill you," says Shouko, annoyed. "I told you, I don't want to fucking see you two make googly eyes at each other."

"When we're making out, our eyes are closed," breathes Satoru when he breaks it apart. Suguru's cheeks are flushed, whether from the alcohol or from the kiss, but his lips quirk. "Does that make it better?"

"I hate you both." Shouko sits up, grouchy, and points at Suguru. "I blame you. He's always been terrible. You, I had higher standards for you."

"I know," sighs Suguru. "Me too."

"Suguru!"

"Kidding," he says, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Satoru's nose.

Shouko makes a gagging sound, but before she can say anything, there's a quiet knock on the door.

"Getou-kun? Ieiri-san? Gojou-kun?"

"Shit," whispers Shouko, stamping out her cigarette.

Satoru moves too sluggishly to really be helpful, but Suguru hides the sake bottles under the kotatsu and detaches himself from Satoru so there's some amount of distance between the two of them.

"You guys look so drunk!" hisses Shouko.

Satoru cannot deny that, especially when he is drunk.

"Are you three okay?" says Yuna's voice from behind the screen.

"Y-yes, come in, sensei," calls Suguru.

The door slides open, and Yuna stands in front of them, dressed in a thick gray sweater dress and tights, her make-up intact. She looks like she just returned from her excursion, even though it's well past midnight.

"I'm sorry," she says after taking in the sight of all of them. Satoru doesn't think the smell of cigarettes or alcohol is that noticeable, but he also is too buzzed to really tell. "I know it's late. I just wanted to check with you all if you wanted to do anything outside of the city tomorrow, since it's the last day of break. If so, I can buy shinkansen tickets or pick up a rental car."

"N-No," stutters Suguru, "thank you, sensei. We were just going to stay in and enjoy the snow."

Yuna nods. "Very well. I'm sorry to break this up, but I have to remind you that there is a curfew that you're…" She glances at the clock on Suguru's wall, "two hours past."

"Got it," says Satoru, staggering up. He feels a little lightheaded. "No problem. I was just heading off to bed. Night, Shouko, sensei." He leans down and pecks Suguru on the lips. "Night, Suguru."

Suguru freezes, and it takes several seconds for Satoru to realize why. Oh. Shit. He straightens up slowly and turns to Yuna, wondering if there is any chance she has gone temporarily blind. For a very brief, minuscule moment, he wonders if he should kill her and hide the body.

Yuna does not blink.

"Drink a lot of fluids before you sleep, you three. It will help with the hangover."

The next day, Satoru does indeed have a headache, but it's not from a hangover (okay, maybe partially). It's the first time Suguru is angry, genuinely angry with him, and Satoru doesn't know how to make it stop because everything he says seems to just make it worse. Shouko does not really help, nursing her own hangover and saying, "It's your fault, you dumbass," before leaving to hang out with Utahime, who has just returned from Kyoto.

"I'm sorry," says Satoru for the millionth time, his head resting on the table that is still sticky with spilled alcohol. "I was drunk, it was instinct, I'm sorry."

"I just need you to think!" snaps Suguru. "For once in your life, just think about someone else—I know this isn't a big deal to you and your family, for some goddamn reason, but it is a big deal to me! What if she reports back to my parents? How do you think I'm going to explain it to them when I go home?"

"She's not going to say anything!" insists Satoru. "It's sensei, she barely talks at baseline!"

"You don't know for sure!" Suguru paces around his room. Satoru wonders if the sake bottles are still hidden underneath the kotatsu but doesn't dwell on it for long; the thought of them makes him queasy. "I'm my parents' only child, if this gets back to them, they're going to think I'm…"

"You're what?" says Satoru coolly, finally looking up. "Gay?"

"I told you, I haven't figured it out and that I'd need time to think about what this—" He gestures between the two of them, "actually is."

"This," Satoru mimics the motion, "has been going on for barely a month, so maybe you don't need to freak the fuck out and act like it's going to ruin your precious life forever."

"You wouldn't understand," Suguru snarls. "You haven't had to consider other people a single day in your goddamn life, fucking Gojou heir."

Satoru has been called the Gojou heir his entire life, because he is precisely that, but the way Suguru says it makes Satoru's skin crawl, like it's something nasty and awful and disgusting when it is just who Satoru is. He knows who he is, he knows he's an asshole, but last night was an honest mistake, not something that Satoru had done to hurt him.

"Sorry for knowing what I want and going for it." The words fall out before he really thinks them through. "Unlike you, worrying every fucking moment about what other people think when you could just realize that no one else really fucking matters."

"That's not the way this shitty world works!" A prominent vein bulges in Suguru's big forehead. "This is what you don't understand, your world isn't real for everyone else—you've been taught you can do whatever you want because you're strong, but that doesn't mean jackshit for everyone else! I'm sorry I give a damn about my parents, Satoru! If only we could all be like you and the rest of the Great Families, all fucking psychopaths—"

Satoru takes off his glasses, and the room sears with lights and colors that make his head pound more, but his blood is boiling. He gets to his feet, eyes blazing.

"Are you kidding," sneers Suguru. A void appears behind him, and his dragon curse emerges from its depths, so large that a whip of its tail blasts out the back wall of the room, revealing the courtyard. Sunlight pours into the room, refracted off the snow, and it makes Satoru's head throb as his vision splits with the color spectrum. "Should've known you could only talk things through for so long."

"Didn't think talking was getting us anywhere," says Satoru coldly, bringing up his hands. He doesn't know where he's going with this—is he actually going to crush Suguru's body into a convoluted mess? But then how will he hold Suguru's hand?—but he doesn't know how else to get out of this situation, how else to make the seething rage stop.

The door to Suguru's room slams open. "What the fuck is wrong with both of you?!" Shouko runs in, followed by Utahime. "What are you doing?!"

The sight of his classmates makes Satoru lower his arms.

"He started it," he says petulantly.

"You're such a—"

"Stop it, both of you!" seethes Utahime. "I don't know what's going on, but you are literally destroying the campus! If you want to beat each other up, do it without Techniques! Just punch each other the old-fashioned way!"

Realization dawns on Satoru.

"You're not actually going to make us stop fighting?" he says blankly.

"No, of course not," she grumbles. "If anything, you deserve a good beating."

"Why me, why not Suguru?"

"Because it's your fault," says Shouko, "though honestly, Suguru, if he's apologized enough, there's no need to bring out your dragon. Though…" she waves at it, "always a nice sight to see."

The dragon purrs.

The simmering rage in Satoru's veins has diminished. He turns to Suguru.

"Look," he starts.

"Thanks for coming by, Shouko, Utahime-senpai," says Suguru with a false smile. He does not dispel his curse and looks completely past Satoru. "I apologize for the commotion. If you all could leave, I'll try to repair the damage, and I'll go and apologize to Morimoto-sensei too."

Utahime is startled. "Getou-kun, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he says pointedly. "Please leave. All of you. Or better yet, I will."

He gives a small bow of his head to Utahime and leaves through the gaping hole in the wall he'd created, his dragon following him closely behind.

"Satoru," is all Shouko says.

"I know," he says bitterly. "I'll fix it."

It takes Satoru some time to think things through and logic his way through how he's going to fix it. (He first has to process why he seems to care so damn much when he hasn't cared about anyone else's feelings for the majority of his life, but decides that it's a can of worms he's not ready to open, especially when Suguru has kicked his own can of worms to the curb). Suguru is most worried that his parents will find out about them. As long as Satoru can prevent this from happening, then Suguru will calm down, and that will get them back to normal, joking around with Shouko, trusting each other on missions, sometimes kissing each other. Suguru needs time to figure this out, and that's fine with Satoru because he hasn't really figured it out either, but he can find them the time to do so.

He finds Yuna in the late afternoon, bundled in a gray down coat, fluffy white scarf, and a matching knit hat as she walks along the campus borders, repairing any deficits to the barrier. It has started snowing again, and the sky is overcast and drab, but Yuna looks peaceful as she plasters talismans to the school's walls. Without his glasses on, Yuna's Cursed Energy is a warm yellow-orange, bright but not blinding.

"Gojou-kun," she greets when he approaches. She looks curiously up at his eyes, then immediately glances down at his feet, which have left no footprints. "You have your Technique activated."

"Yeah," he mutters. "I didn't want to track snow inside the dorms."

"It's good to be considerate of school property," she says. "I wish you'd been that considerate before destroying Getou-kun's room."

"That wasn't—"

"I'm joking, Gojou-kun," Yuna says with the slightest twinkle in her eye. "Getou-kun told me it was his fault. I'll take care of it. We may not even have to let Yaga-sensei know."

Something pangs uncomfortably in Satoru's stomach.

"Sensei, about Suguru," he begins.

"Is your headache all right?" she interrupts, which is very unlike her. She reaches into her bag and pulls out another stack of washi paper, all identical with red borders and the symbol for "Hidden" written on them in bold black ink. "Hangovers can be uncomfortable. I have tonic back in the office, if you're still feeling it. Though I must chastise you, you're all underage, and shouldn't be drinking."

It feels rich coming from Yuna, who surely is barely of age.

"I'm fine," says Satoru brusquely. "That's not why I am. Suguru—"

"You should keep your glasses on, I'm sure the snow doesn't help the headache."

"Sensei," snarls Satoru, "let me finish a fucking sentence."

Yuna stops, her next seal hovering over the wall. She turns to look at him, gaze unwavering.

"What you saw yesterday," says Satoru, his eyes burning, "with me and Suguru, it didn't happen. All right? So if you're thinking of telling anyone else, you shouldn't. Because nothing happened. I'll make sure of it."

Yuna's expression shifts in a way Suguru can't quite decipher. He catches the slightest bit of caution, maybe even a tinge of that fear Yuna bottles so deeply within her, but it smooths out so quickly that he isn't sure. She turns back to her task at hand and pushes the talisman against the concrete surface. Her fingers have the barest tremor.

"Are you threatening me, Gojou-kun?" she says softly.

"I…" His voice trails off.

"It is a straight-forward question, Gojou-kun. Yes or no?"

"…Yes."

"I see." She presses her right index and third finger to the Barrier character on her exposed left forearm, right under one that reads Freeze. Barrier glows green and Satoru can see cursed energy connect between Yuna's fingertips and the talisman on the wall. The talismans simultaneously pulse, and the cursed energy ripples across the wall before smoothing out, visible only to Satoru's eyes.

Yuna speaks again. "It seems that you and Getou-kun are in some kind of relationship that you would like to keep secret. Ieiri-san is already aware of it, but no one else is. You think I became aware of it yesterday, and that is causing Getou-kun stress. You are trying to alleviate this stress, so you decided that the best way to tackle this problem was to come threaten me. Is that a reasonable summary, Gojou-kun?"

When she says it like that…the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach intensifies. What is this? Is it his hangover? But it's been hours now, surely they can't last that long…

"I've been aware of you and Getou-kun for a long time, now," she says. "I have not told anyone about you two."

"What?" Satoru gapes. "How? We've been really careful on campus."

"Ah, just call it intuition. It was one of the reasons I pushed for you to be paired on missions together." Yuna hums. "Neither of you is as subtle as you think."

Satoru feels superbly stupid.

"I already spoke with Getou-kun," she continues. "I reassured him I would tell no one about you two, as it is no one's business except yours. That includes his family."

"Oh. Okay." That makes all of Satoru's posturing pointless. "Uh…" He scratches his head. "When did you guys talk?"

"Several hours ago. After he blew up his room."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"Because his anger with you is not entirely due to his stress about being found out." Yuna pulls her sleeve back over her arm. "They're related, certainly. But it's not everything."

She bends down to put her remaining talismans back in her backpack. It is bulging with scrolls and stacks of papers. She shimmies the strap over her shoulder and stands up, but Satoru steps forward.

"Here," he mutters, "I got it."

She lets him take the bag from her. "Thank you, Gojou-kun."

As if he had not just threatened to make her disappear. He feels…ah, this is what that feeling is. Foolish. Guilty.

"Will you walk with me back to the storage rooms?"

He nods, and they head to the eastern quarters, Yuna's boots trudging through the snow, Satoru's feet hovering above, like a ghost.

"Gojou-kun, I know I am not the most affectionate or nurturing person in the world, but I try to make my intentions fairly clear. I would have hoped that by now, it would be obvious that I would not do anything to hurt any of you."

"I…I know that," he mumbles.

"Do you? If you did, I don't think you would've found it necessary to threaten me."

"I'm…sorry."

Yuna peers at him. "I forgive you. I know you are inexperienced when it comes to fighting on behalf of someone else and the threat was your immaturity speaking, not true ill intent."

Satoru does not think he's felt embarrassment in his whole life, but it certainly is crippling.

"But I will still be giving you detention."

"Sensei!"

"You need to learn that the solution to everything is not violence, Gojou-kun. Next time, you can just come and talk to me. Killing someone to make a problem go away rarely works as easily as people think it does. It merely creates a vacuum for a bigger problem to fill it, and you could try killing that bigger problem, but soon…" Yuna looks up at the sky, "you'll realize that you have your hands full with problems too big for you to handle. Not to mention…it gets quite lonely. I imagine you're lonely enough already, being the Gojou heir."

Satoru is immediately defensive. "I'm not lonely."

Yuna bares a smile. "Not anymore, I hope."

His cheeks color. "Fuck."

"Language, Gojou-kun."

They walk past the koi pond, frozen over, cross the bridge, and arrive at the storage rooms. The supply room is small but cozy, with Yuna's Residuals all over it. She gestures for him to put the bag down on the nearest shelf. He looks around; there is a whole assortment of everyday objects, from books to carpentry tools to bike chains, covered entirely in talismans. He spots a long stretch of red rope, knotted intricately, with talismans hanging every ten centimeters. It radiates an incredible amount of cursed energy.

"Whoa, sensei," Satoru points to it. "What're you trying to kidnap with that thing?"

"Ah. Just a side project for Yuki-san."

"The other Special Grade?"

"Mm." Yuna doesn't elaborate. "Come, Gojou-kun. We should head back and get dinner. You should talk to Getou-kun before then."

Satoru's stomach drops. "Okay."

Yuna locks up the room and, when they fall into step next to each other, Gojou blurts it out before he can stop himself.

"Sensei, what happened to your husband?"

Yuna blinks twice. "What brought this about?"

"Just…just wondering," he says, thinking rapidly for a reasonable answer beyond his nosy curiosity. "Just wondering about Suguru and me and whether, y'know, any of this is worth it, and you're the only one I know who's been married."

"You mean besides your parents?" says Yuna slowly. Satoru has genuinely no idea how she can make him feel like such an idiot.

"I mean, that doesn't count," he babbles, "it's not like we talk about this kind of stuff, and they didn't marry for love or anything."

"What makes you think I did?"

It's the first time Satoru has heard Yuna's voice be so cold. He stops in his tracks, immediately on edge, and Yuna stops with him. When she meets his eyes, though, her gaze softens.

"I've told you before, it's not something I talk much about," she says.

Except you told Suguru that, not me, he thinks, but who's he kidding—she knew he was awake that car ride, so long ago.

"Gojou-kun, just talk honestly with Getou-kun. He's a good person who is working through many complexities. Meet him where he is. That's all he needs. I guarantee you that any advice I have does not come from my marriage." She thinks for a second, before adding, "After my husband died, I felt very little regret. I don't think you'd feel the same way if something happened to Getou-kun."

Satoru stares at her. Yuna's cursed energy, previously purely yellow-orange, now floats with the barest wave of indigo-black.

"Let's go, Gojou-kun. I'm hungry."

"S-sure."

The rest of the walk back is silent. Yuna radiates no hostility, even thanks Satoru for helping her, but he can't shake the feeling. He simply knows.

Yuna's husband is dead, because Yuna killed him.

He doesn't know why, or how, or when. He dwells on it for a bit, but then he realizes that he doesn't really care. He has no proof, and it's not like if he told anyone, they would believe him.