Qu'est ce que c'est?

Awaken my child.

It is time once again for you to save the world.

You are the shining light that guides all things living.

Be born once again, and sacrifice yourself for the world.

Listen, that sounds real peachy, but I'm going to have to pass on this one.

…You are the last of the Ancients…It is your destiny.

You know, I've had a lot of time to think this over. A big green, blob doesn't have much to do in the way of entertainment.

You are one with the lifestream. Is it not the epitome of peace?

That's a major, NO, Gaia. I don't know what all these supposedly infallible forces were thinking when they decided that paradise should be a big, green, gooey, slightly slimy communal pool.

.…………You…um…you are the shining light that guides all living things.

You're repeating yourself, you old hag. I've heard enough of your mumbo jumbo for one lifetime, thank you. I'm not going to tolerate it during the next one.

I've all ready been revived, right?

Yes…you…cough…You must sacrifice yourself once more for the sake of the planet…Sephiroth and the remnants have arisen once again.

Haven't you been listening? There's NO way I'm getting stabbed in the chest by an albino psycho with a fetish for his mom…AGAIN! I'm not listening to your "infinite" wisdom anymore. This new life's gonna be all about Aeris, baby.

But, what about the planet? Natural World order? Your destiny! You're going to let that man take over the world?

Who said he's gonna take over the world? There's no way Sephiroth's gonna be in charge.

…so, you've accepted your proper path.

Hell no!

I've taken the planet's abuse for long enough! What about me, huh? What about little, old Aeris? I'm sick and tired of being the savior around here! I think that I, more than anyone, deserve a little "me" time. It's time to get my due!

But…but you said…

Sephiroth's not gonna be the one who takes over the world.

Not if I, the great and terrible Aeris Gainsburough does it first!

…………Shit.

Milton Greenly was at a loss. Nervously, he pulled off his glasses, rubbed them on his fleece jacket and hastily shoved them back onto the bridge of his nose.

A pale, beautiful girl with a delicate looking frame lay sprawled before. The satiny, smooth fabric of her dress fanned out around her body, giving her the appearance of some pink angel.

Suddenly, blood spurted from Milton's frost tinged nose. Horrified, he fumbled through his knapsack and pulled out a handkerchief. Using it to pinch his nostrils together, he sat and continued to stare at the girl.

It was a woman! A real woman!

Milton pinched his nostrils tighter as he felt another onset of blood. Still at a complete loss at what to do in such a situation, Milton decided to take a scientific approach to the dilemma. Feeling a bit more comfortable all ready, he pulled out a pad of paper and tried to sort everything out.

Problem: Found girl lying in a snowdrift all alone in the middle of the Northern Crater. What course of action should be taken?

Solution: Rouse her, and offer assistance

Pros:

- She is a girl.

-She is pretty

-May fall madly in love, and consider me to be a savior

-May be a fairy and offer bountiful reward in return for protection

-Will freeze if nothing is done soon

-This may be chance to get very first girlfriend

-May get very first kiss

-May be chance to talk to a girl

-God, I'm pathetic

Cons:

- She is a girl

-Perhaps is taking nap in the snow, and doesn't want to be bothered

-Might laugh in my face

-Chances are equally likely that is an EVIL fairy and instead of a reward will offer eternal suffering, damnation, etc.

-Probably won't fall in love with me

-God…I am pathetic

Milton studied the list, and debated the proper course of action. He looked down at the girl again and said, "GOD! I'm p-pathetic."

The girl's mouth twitched. Milton Greenly balked, and shoved himself backward. One of her white hands lifted up to her brow, and ever so slowly her eyes opened.

The green pools of color bored into him, and he started sweating profusely. Her full lips parted slightly and she croaked, "I'm freezing my ass off! Hey, who the hell are you?"

Shaking, he adjusted his glasses and looked down, "M-M-My n-name is M-Milton Gr-greenly."

Laughing maliciously, she pushed herself to her feet and slapped him heartily on the back. "Well, M-Milton it's very n-nice to meet you. How'd you like to help me take over the world?"

A flabbergasted look overtook his features, then he shied away from her. Whooping exuberantly the girl danced around him, twirling -- her arms raised to the heavens.

"This time, Greenly, It's gonna be different. I'm not going to let anyone push me around anymore." She cried, laughing maniacally.

Milton backed away, fearing that his "evil fairy" assumption was a little more plausible than he had imagined. Teeth bared and glowing white, the girl leapt and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He gurgled and spat as his face turned purple from lack of oxygen. The girl just clung even tighter, and gestured toward the sky wildly, "You and me Greenly! We're going places!"

He sputtered in response and she replied, "Oh my, where are my manners! My name is Aeris Gainsburough, the one and only."

She let him go and he fell back gasping. Rubbing his throat, Greenly croaked, "Aeris? The l-l-last ancient? The one who was k-k-killed by Sephiroth?"

"Yes!" She thrust a fist in the air, "I'm famous! Won't everyone be shocked when it's me, the benevolent Cetra, who becomes Overlord of the Universe!"

Greenly's legs fell out from under him. "But y-you're d-d-d-d-d…"

"DEAD, I know. Well, actually I'm not dead. For the past, hmmm… I'd say hour I've been alive and well."

The poor, distraught man anxiously rubbed his glasses on his jacket. He placed them back on, to see that the lens hadn't been dirty, and there really was a crazed, hot, dead chick standing in front of him.

"So Whaddaya say?" She crowed, still dancing, "Are you in or are you out?"

"Well…uh…welll I uh…."

She strode toward Milton, and thrust her face forward, so it was only an inch away from his.

"If you promise to be a good little servant, and swear complete loyalty then when I instate the new world order, you will be my right hand man and you'll get lots of plunder and womens!"

Greenly gulped, his face turning bright red. "And if I d-don't?"

She smiled. It was of a wicked nature, yet somehow suited her sweet features, "Then, I'll cut you up into little pieces."

"V-v-very w-w-w-well master."

"Perfect!"

This problem solved, she turned to her gaze downward toward her pink dress and adopted a contemptuous look.

"Greenly, I'm going to be needing some new clothes."