Disclaimer: I pwn Final Fantasy VII
Hmmm...this story got hardly any hits before. Too bad, because Aeris is totally gonna kick everyone's ass. Thanks to the reviewers, I'm glad you like it!
I always knew everyone wanted to see Aeris being all evil...
"I..I… thu-think your d-dress is purdy…" Greenly mumbled, eying his new master.
She was, at the moment, ransacking his supply pack in search of something new to wear. Greenly watched sadly, as all of his notes… his research on the Northern Cavern… were tossed carelessly aside and drifted away into the wind. Aeris looked up, and growled, "That's the point, Greenly!"
Milton nervously pulled his pants up higher over his rotund belly.
"I d-duh-don't understand."
"It's elementary, my dear Greenly, elementary." Aeris blew her nose in one of Milton's paper's and chucked it over her shoulder, "No one's going to take me seriously, if I'm wearing a "purdy" pink dress!"
Thoughtfully, she rubbed her chin and whispered, "I need something dark….mysterious…savage! I need to look like one tough bitch!"
Greenly stood awkwardly beside the woman until she yanked him down beside her and grumbled, "Ponder with me, Greenly."
He smiled weakly and stroked his nonexistent chin in what he hoped was a "ponderous" looking gesture. They stayed in that position for a good half hour and just when Greenly's chin was beginning to chafe, Aeris snapped her fingers and cried, "I've got it!"
"Guh-got what?"
Aeris ignored him, rubbing her hands together and grinning. She cackled, "I've always been jealous of their clothes! Especially his…they're so…awesome."
Dying with curiosity, Greenly raised his voice a little and repeated, "Got what?"
Aeris frowned and replied, "Damn it, Greenly, you'll know soon enough! Minions shouldn't ask so many questions. You must blindly follow my orders, and make me look as good as possible…hmmm…Speaking of that…"
Grabbing the poor soul by the shoulders, the Ancient jerked him up into a standing position. Greenly observed her fearfully, as she slowly paced back and forth, eyeballing him.
"No, no" she muttered, "This will simply not do! My minion needs to look a little less…nerdy."
"I can huh-hear you, you kn-know!" He stuttered, his face bright red from trying to hold his stomach in. She just continued to circle and assess his appearance, once again oblivious to the fact that he had spoken.
She poked his arm and said, "Slightly pudgy…short in stature…glasses…premature hair loss.." She shook her head dejectedly, "poor, poor Greenly. I'm sorry to say that your looks…and that outfit SCREAM nerd."
"W-wuh-wuh-what's wr-wrong with my clothes?" He retorted defensively.
Aeris raised one eyebrow and there was a long, awkward silence.
"Well, Greenly, I think it's about time we ditch this frozen little hell hole."
"B-b-but my research…m-m-m…buh-buh…h-hey, you n-never answer m-my questions!"
"Greenly! You and your selfish ways! Forget your research! I want new clothes and I want them NOW!"
Her lips pulled into a snarl, and an eerie green aura flickered around her. Greenly shivered and replied, "I'm s-s-sorry master, I am b-buh-being selfish…how are we g-guh-gonna get out of here? It's a l-long walk b-back to civilization."
Aeris grinned wickedly. In a flash she leapt into the air and landed on Greenly's back. After a few minutes of struggle, she was comfortable sitting on his shoulders, as his knobby knees staggered under the weight.
The Cetra snapped a whip (god knows where she got it), and pointed it forward calling. "Onward minion, to Niebelheim!"
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"Greeeeeennnnlly, I'm booooorrrreeed, how much longer 'till we get there?"
Aeris kicked her legs petulantly, and poked Greenly on his bald spot. The peculiar looking pair had moved approximately 100 feet in the past five hours. In the beginning the going had been faster, with the help of Aeris's positive reinforcement (A.K.A. whipping) but now even that did little to speed up the pace.
Greenly's breaths came out in ragged gasps, and sweat poured down his brow. He choked out, "I…gasp…heave…I thu-think …heave…I'm gonna fuh-fall….aghhhh"
He collapsed on the ground. Aeris growled angrily, still sitting on him, and poked him with the whip.
"Greenly! I'll have none of this! What goods a minion if he can't even carry little 'ole me across the Northern crater?"
Her words fell on deaf ears, since the little, rotund man was out cold. Aeris patted his head.
"If thou beest he -- oh how fallen!"
She stood up, and brushed the snow off her dress. Aeris thrust a finger under her chin and muttered, "Damn…oh well, I guess I'll just have to fly us there."
Cradling Milton in her arms, a green light surrounded the Ancient then she took flight.
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"Wakey wakey, little Greenlykins, you've been sleeping for far too long."
Greenly shut his eyes tighter. 'It was all a dream' he thought, 'Everything's going to be back to normal when I open my eyes. I won't be the slave of some homicidal maniac."
"I SAID WAKEY GODDAMNIT!" He felt a sudden burst of pain. The poor soul opened his eyes to see Aeris, nostril's flared and whip in hand.
He sighed, "Aww muh-man…"
Aeris glared at him, pushing out her bottom lip. She kicked him in the side and said, "Finally, I've been waiting so long!"
Milton sat up quickly, "W-wuh-where are we? Weren'tt we in th-the N-Northern C-Crater?"
Aeris smiled widely and adopted a heroic stance, "Pfah, Monsieur Greenly! I have saved the day, once again. Or, I guess since I'm the bad guy, I can say I have maimed the day."
Greenly realized that the village of Niebelheim was just a few yards away. But…it was impossible. Niebelheim was nowhere near the crater!
"I know what you're thinking, Greenly," Aeris drawled, reading his thoughts, "After you passed out I flew us here. It was no biggie, so fugheddaboutit!"
Greenly's face screwed up in anger, giving him the appearance of a plump little raisin, "FLEW!" He sputtered, "YOU can FLY? YOU CAN FLY, BUT YOU ROAD ON MY BACK ANYWAYS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!"
The Ancient was a little taken aback. She gave him a hard look, then smiled.
"Well, Greenly, I guess you've got some guts after all."
At this, he his anger deflated a bit, and he kicked a stone bashfully.
"Aw..sh-shucks…"
Aeris walked toward him, arms outstretched as if awaiting a hug.
Greenly's face flushed, and…Aeris punched him in the face.
He fell back, grasping his nose and cried, "Wh-wh-what was that for!"
Heaving the man up by his collar, Aeris bared her teeth gleefully.
"You got some guts I said, but minions shouldn't talk back to their masters, all right?"
She dropped him on the ground, then turned away. Greenly sat for a few moments, then stood and ran to catch up.
As they entered Niebelheim, Aeris couldn't resist letting out a little whoop of joy.
"Free at last, free at last!" she sang, "I forgot how great life was!"
Aeris grasped Greenly's hand and skipped down the cobblestone path, dragging him behind her. She whistled happily and waved to the townspeople they passed. One old lady waved back enthusiastically and told her friend, "Oh, what a sweet kind looking girl!"
Aeris giggled then suddenly stopped mid-skip. Greenly bumped into her from behind and queried, "W-whu-what's wrong?"
"I totally forgot, I'm evil now."
The green light erupted from the ancient, and she took to the air… leaving a very befuddled-looking minion behind. A dark cloud overshadowed the town, and her voice echoed loud and thunderous across the sky.
"Puny insects!" she roared, "Your reign on this earth has come to it's end! Fear the wrath of Aeris! Mistress of Destruction! The NEW Calamity of the Skies! Tremble, as I claim your pitiful lives as my OWN!"
She cracked her whip in the air, and sulfur and brimstone rained from the sky.
Pretty soon, the whole town was in flames and all of it's citizens were dead, mortally wounded, or mutilated beyond recognition.
A satisfied grin on her face, Aeris lowered back onto the ground. She was greeted by a quivering Greenly who, though unharmed, was scared out of his wits. Laughing, Aeris smacked him on back.
"Man, that felt good! One town down, Greenly! I'd say that was pretty good for the first time. I mean, I made up that monologue on the spot!"
Greenly twitched, his face an unseemly shade of green. Aeris, apparently satisfied with the response, resumed her skipping as if she hadn't just committed mass murder. Greenly trailed fearfully behind the Ancient, and he could hear her singing loudly as she skipped.
"Psycho killer! Qu'est ce que c'est? Fa fa fa faa, fa fa fa fa faaa fa, oh! Run, run, run…run, run, run awwwaaaaaayyy. Oh oh ohohhhhhhh, ya ya ya ya yaaaa yaaaaaa….Psycho killer, qu'est ce que c'est?"
She waggled her bottom --hips grooving to the beat, and didn't cease the song until they the reached the doorstep of the Shinra mansion.
Sitting on the steps was an abnormally skinny teen with abnormally tight pants on. When he noticed the pair's approach he flipped back his hair, which was cut so its black bangs perfectly covered his left eye. He rubbed a scarred wrist and whined, "Who are you guys, I want to be alone…"
Aeris frowned and tilted her head to the side, her brows wrinkling in disbelief. She gestured behind her, at the torched town and its citizens and said, "Um, do you see what's just happened? Shouldn't you be running for your life or something?"
The boy chuckled humorously, and wrapped his pale arms around his trendy shirt which read, "You laugh at me cause I'm different; I laugh at you 'cause you're all the same." A single tear fell from his eyeliner rimmed eye.
"I don't care about death…I'm all ready dead on the inside."
Aeris let out a puff of air and started cracking up, causing the pale teen to sob melodramatically. Greenly, sniffling a bit, sat beside the teen, and put an arm around his shoulder.
"Now, now," he whispered in a comforting tone, "I-I-it's a-a-all right."
The teen shoved him violently away. He tumbled backwards and face-planted into the cement.
"Hey, hey! Invading my personal space! SO not cool."
"So," Aeris chuckled, wiping away tears of mirth, "What's got you so down?"
He raised a quivering hand to his brow and drew a shaky breath.
"My…my girlfriend broke up with me…"
At this, Aeris fell on the ground and…well…to put it in simpler terms…
She rofl'd.
The boy flipped his hair and said, coolly, "Whatever I don't care. No one understands the depths of my emotion…I think I'll slit my wrists again."
He pulled out a tiny paperclip from the pocket of his skintight jeans (with some difficulty) and dragged it across his wrist. Greenly (whom had just recovered from the undignified shove to the ground) moved close to the teen, and watched the "cry for attention" with interest.
Finally, Aeris recovered from the fit of merriment and sat up. She watched for a few moments, as the boy earnestly showed Greenly the nonexistent cuts on his wrist. Leaping forward, she
slapped the paperclip out of the teen's hand and said, "All right, enough of this. Tell me, E.B., does Vincent Valentine still live here?"
The teen, glaring at her, ran to find his lost paper clip and called behind him, "Why did you call me, E.B.? I'll let you know that my name is Nihilism Lugubrious Jr."
Aeris rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Emo Boy. Answer me, does Vincent still sleep in this place?"
Pawing through the grass, E.B. found his beloved paperclip and kissed it. With loving care, he slid it back into his pocket. He walked back toward Aeris and said, "Of course Vincent Valentine still lives here, I'm waiting out here for him to take me on as his mentor."
"Mentor?"
"Duh, everyone knows that Vincent Valentine is the idol of all the emo kids on Gaia! He's like…a god."
"Have you talked to him? He said you could be his protégé?"
"Uhh…" E.B. twirled a lock of hair between his fingers, "Not in so many words. But I figure that if I stay here for three days and three nights, not leaving no matter what he does, than he will take me under his wing. His insults are just to ward off the weak!"
Aeris smirked, "You're thinking of Fight Club, kid. Most likely Vincent just hates you."
"Nuh uh!" E.B. whimpered, "I'll show you! I'll take you to him right now and I'll show you!"
"Excellent."
Hmmm, If you can tell me where Aeris's quote comes from (the one she says after Greenly passes out) I will give you one of E.B.'s crappy poems. And...hell, You can watch him slit his wrists for awhile if you want ;)