Chapter 5

"Man! If Chase has said it was that good I'd have done this months ago."

"Oh God," Cameron groaned.

"What?" asked House. "Not fun for you?"

"No, it's just… That was a really bad idea."

"Thought it was one of my better ideas, actually."

Cameron turned away, swung her legs off the side of the bed and buried her face in her hands. "House…"

"Greg."

"What?"

"We just slept together, you're sitting, naked, on the edge of my bed. I think it's okay to call me Greg at this point." He told her back.

"Sorry, habit."

"Turn around and talk to me."

Cameron pulled the covers over her torso as she turned to face him, sitting cross-legged on the bed, next to him.

"It's a little late for modesty."

Cameron glared at him.

"Oh, come on," he said, exasperated. "You've been chasing me for two years and now you've got what you wanted and you're having second thoughts?"

"No... I just… You're being glib."

"You thought it would all be hearts and flowers once we did it?"

"No, of course not. I just… don't think we did it for the right reasons."

"What are the right reasons?"

Cameron was silent.

"You think I'm marking my territory because TB guy is back?"

"Sebastian."

"Whatever."

Cameron sighed. "I don't know."

"So what are your reasons?"

"You know my reasons."

House chewed his lip. "Nope, I don't think you've ever actually answered why you like me."

"Do I need a reason?"

"No, but most people have them."

Cameron was silent.

House took her hand and she looked up at him. "I'm not being glib any more. I wanna know."

Cameron paused. "Because you're more than just the misanthrope you portray to the world. You do what you think is right, regardless of what people will think. You stand up for patients, you're tenacious, irascible, frustrating and brilliant. You hide behind this sneering mask of mockery but underneath you're just as vulnerable as everyone else, maybe more so. And despite what you say, part of you still wants to believe in the goodness of people. You wouldn't bother telling them the truth if you didn't think they could change."

House raised his eyebrows. "Maybe I just like being right?"

Cameron looked sadly out of the window. "Maybe you do," she said dejectedly. "I should go." She made to get up but once again, House grabbed her arm, not gently this time.

"Stop running away," he raised his voice to her.

"Stop being flippant," she retorted angrily.

"It's who I am."

"No, it's a part of your façade."

House released her arm. "We're going round in circles," he told her, getting out of bed himself. "Get dressed, I'll put some coffee on." He pulled on a robe and left her alone.

Cameron dressed and followed him out. She looked towards the door, wondering briefly if she could leave the apartment without him noticing.

"Don't even think about walking out," he yelled from the kitchen.

"What do you care?" she yelled back.

"I don't like cowards."

"You don't like anyone," she grouched.

Cameron stood in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed. House placed her coffee on the table and sat down.

"Sit," he told her.

Cameron remained where she was.

"That wasn't a request."

She went and sat opposite him, her demeanour reminding him a little of a teenager who'd just been grounded.

"Talk to me."

"I seem to have done most of the talking so far." She reached out and took hold of her coffee, wrapping her hands around it as though for warmth and staring into its depths.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, something. Anything." She looked up into his eyes. "Anything to reassure me that it meant to you even a little of what it meant to me."

"It meant something," he said somberly. "I just don't know what, yet."

Cameron shook her head. "Please don't tell me this was one of your experiments."

"It wasn't premeditated if that's what you mean."

The phone rang, but neither made a move to answer it. The beep sounded and Chase's voice cut in. "House, it's Chase. The hospital's been trying to reach Cameron for the last hour. She's not picking up at home and her mobile's going straight through to voicemail. If you hear from…"

House and Cameron both grabbed for the phone, House reached it first. "I'm here." He listened for a few moments, Cameron staring anxiously at him.

"Don't worry," he told Chase. "I know where to find her." He hung up and took a deep breath. "Your mother was admitted earlier tonight. She had an accident."

"Oh my God, is it serious?"

"Chase didn't know, they wouldn't tell him anything."

Cameron turned away, "I've got to get down there," she said rushing from the kitchen. She grabbed her purse from the bedroom but House was already standing in front of the door when she came out, blocking her exit.

"You're in no condition to drive."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not, you're too worked up to drive."

"I don't have time to wait for a cab."

"Let me get dressed, I'll drive you." He headed back towards the bedroom. "Don't go out that door," he said, turning back and pointing his cane at her.

III

House pulled up outside the hospital and Cameron climbed off the motorcycle. She pulled the helmet off and handed it back to him.

"I… Thank you," she turned and went inside.

House stared after her. He should probably go in with her in case she needed someone. On the other hand, she hadn't asked him to and her mother was probably fine. Nothing more than a sprained wrist or something. Then again, when you'd slept with someone less than an hour ago, leaving like this wasn't exactly the done thing.

House sighed. He could go around like this for hours finding equally good reasons both to stay and to leave. In the end, there was only one important factor: did he want to stay?

House revved the engine and pulled away. He had no desire to be playing happy families at two am.

III

"You're early."

"And you haven't been home."

"I showered here." Cameron crossed her arms as she stood just inside the doorway. She couldn't have been further away from him and still be in his office.

"How's your mom?"

"Like you don't already know."

"How could I know?"

"By accessing the mainframe."

"But I don't have access to the mainframe. I'm just a lowly department head."

"True, but you bribe McPherson from IT with a case of single malt whiskey every time Cuddy changes her password."

"Uh oh! Busted." He shrugged. "I just thought you might prefer to tell me."

"She's awake now, she seems okay."

House scowled at her. "Sit down." He gestured to the chairs opposite his desk.

"I have clinic duty."

"The clinic doesn't open for another half hour. Sit."

Cameron sat.

"Have you slept at all?" he asked.

"No."

"Go home."

"I'm fine. Besides, I have clinic this morning," she reiterated.

"You're tired. Tired people make mistakes."

"I've stayed awake much longer than this before, and I haven't hurt anyone yet."

"Oh, that's right. When is Foreman coming back?"

Cameron sighed. "Stop it. I might have been tired, we all were, but it was a sound decision."

"It was unnecessary."

"It saved his life. Which wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't sent him to the cop's apartment in the first place."

"So it's my fault?"

"It's nobody's fault. You're just hiding, as usual." Cameron leaned forward and rubbed her forehead. "I know you feel guilty about Foreman. I know that you like me. I know that under that antagonistic exterior is actually a pretty decent guy." She looked up at him. "Why are you so afraid of people finding that out?"

"Morning." Chase came in.

"Everybody's early today," House muttered.

"How's your mum?" asked Chase.

"She's okay. She fell down the stairs, hit her head and broke her leg. She was unconscious for a few hours but she's awake now. Luckily there doesn't seem to be any brain damage."

"Chase, you're covering Cameron's clinic hours this morning."

"What? Why?"

"Because her mother was admitted to hospital last night, she hasn't slept at all and I'm taking her home."

"I'm fine!" Cameron protested.

House stood up and pointed at Chase. "You, clinic. You," he pointed at Cameron, "follow me."

III

Considering he was disabled, House was cutting a fair pace towards the parking lot. Cameron was almost jogging to keep up.

"This isn't necessary. I'm fine. Really."

House stopped at his bike and turned to her. "Oh for God's sake, sing a different tune. I'm giving you time off. Boss approved time off. If you don't want to go to sleep, go see a movie, go shopping, have some fun, sit with your mom, anything. Just stop being such a goody two shoes."

"I am not…"

"Oh please! You don't do anything outside this hospital. You eat, sleep and work… And from the looks of you, not much of the eating."

"Oh, like your life is a whirlwind of socialising."

"We're not talking about me. I'm old, I'm a cripple. I've earned the right to sit at home and mope."

"You're not old. You're just miserable."

House climbed on the bike. "Are you coming?"

Cameron pulled the helmet on. "Take me to your place."

House looked at her like she'd just spoken Klingon. "You mean, after all your agonising, you actually want us to…"

She cut him off. "My car is at your house." She climbed on behind him.

"Right." House was glad she couldn't see his face.

III

Cameron climbed off the motorcycle and handed House the helmet. He wouldn't meet her eyes.

Cameron hesitated but decided she had to say something. "Look… I think we both know how I feel about you."

"I think the whole hospital does."

"Probably. I don't see any reason to hide it. I also think I know how you feel."

House began to respond but Cameron held her hand up.

"Don't." She took a deep breath. "Now you need to decide how you feel and what you want to do about it. You have my number if things go in my favour." She turned and walked over to her car. She glanced back as she got in, but House wasn't looking. He was pulling away.