Author's Note: It's been quite a while since my last update. Sorry about that. However, I'm thrilled that I got reviews! Ah, a writer's sweet sustenance. I also got a beta, Danyu, so many cookies to her for being ever so patient even when it seemed like I was dead.
Kisetsu
Chapter Two: The Proposal
The veins of frost that bled across the window scattered the sunlight into a thousand pinpricks of color. They danced along the column of Ashitaka's throat and gradually, as the morning eclipsed into noon, they touched his face, kissing the lids of his eyes open.
Ashitaka slowly resurfaced into consciousness and fought desperately to immerse himself back into his dreams. It was a futile swim against the current. He eventually cracked open a bleary eye, which was shut immediately with a wince as it met the sharp, stinging rays of the sun.
With a groan, he shifted and burrowed deeper into the tight cocoon of blankets. His internal clock sharply protested that it was already midday. However, the warm lure of his bed promptly vetoed his higher sensibilities. After all, there was nothing of interest to rouse him. Just another quiet winter day.
A sharp rapping issued from the front door.
Ashitaka shot out of bed, hissing between gritted teeth as his bare feet met the icy floor. They were numb by the time he reached his clothes chest at the far corner of the room. Reaching in blindly, he fished out the first thing his groping fingers snagged and pulled it over his head. It took a few moments of bleary-eyed blinking for him to register that he was wearing pants on his head instead of a shirt. Growling, he fought to untangle himself.
The knocking intensified.
As Ashitaka dressed, the reasonable part of his mind groggily reminded him that San never knocked. However, he couldn't quite manage to quell the small bubble of hope that had surfaced.
Smoothing down his tousled hair, Ashitaka double-checked to make sure he was decently attired. Then he ran to his front door and flung it open.
Koroku's grinning face was possibly the most disappointing sight he had seen all winter.
"Geez, Ashitaka. Lighten up," Koroku said, noting Ashitaka's deflated expression. "It's not like I'm the harbinger of death or anything."
"I'm sorry." Ashitaka ran his fingers through his hair sheepishly. "It is good to see you again, Koroku. What brings you all the way out here?"
Koroku's chest puffed out and broad grin plastered itself onto his face. "I came to tell you that Toki had her baby. It's a boy!"
"That's wonderful! Congratulations!" Ashitaka exclaimed, embracing his friend. He heard Koroku suppress a sniffle. "Why don't you stay and have some tea. You must be cold from your journey."
"I c-can't," Koroku hiccupped. "Toki told me to bring you back to Iron Town. She wants you to see the baby. And the rest of the town misses you too."
Ashitaka's heart leapt at the idea. He had barely seen his friends through the long winter. He rather missed Toki's sharp tongue, Eboshi's sly smirks, and even Gonza's accusatory glares.
"Just give me a few moments," he said, running into his house. After he had properly layered himself for the cold and slipped on a sturdy pair of boots, he joined Koroku on the door step once again.
They made a short detour to the stall that adjoined the side of the small cabin. Ashitaka unlatched and opened the door. He laughed when he heard Yakkul snort irritably as she was awakened. Stepping around his annoyed companion, Ashitaka refilled the feed box that hung on the back wall and scooped fresh snow into the water trough.
Yakkul raised her elegant head and nickered softly to him. Ashitaka ran a broad hand across her neck, fingers carding in her thick winter coat.
"I won't be gone for that long," he promised, patting Yakkul's muzzle.
She leaned into Ashitaka's touch and licked his gloved hand affectionately.
Outside, Koroku waited for him. He was pacing anxiously and had ground the snow under his feet to slush.
"Is something wrong?" Ashitaka asked.
Koroku paused and shook his head. "It's nothing. It's just that… I've never left Toki with the baby for so long—"
"—and you want to get back to them," Ashitaka finished, "I understand. We'll hurry."
They walked, chatting amiably as they followed the trail of footprints Koroku had left earlier. Ashitaka mostly listened as Koroku narrated the more horrific moments of Toki's pregnancy.
"If there's one thing you should never do while your wife is pregnant," Koroku advised sagely, "it's mention her weight. Never, ever make a single comment about her size. Even when she looks like a giant blowfish, keep your mouth shut. There's still a dent in our wall from when Toki threw a kettle at me."
Ashitaka laughed, imagining an enraged, bloated Toki hurling kitchenware at her cowering husband.
As they rose over the crest of another hill, the sight of Iron Town emerged.
Once again, Ashitaka marveled at the transformation the town had undergone. It had metamorphosed from an industrial fortress to a busy commercial center. Gone were the spiked fortifications and the acrid fumes of the furnace. Riflemen no longer patrolled the perimeter. The dark atmosphere of the old Iron Town had lifted like a veil of smoke.
Ashitaka trailed behind Koroku as they passed through the gates and followed the broad, main street to the bustling market center.
Accustomed to the bleakness of winter, Ashitaka was caught off-guard by the flurry of activity. Women and men were already setting up stalls. The slap and crunch of trout on ice rang out from the fishermen's corner. An elderly woman hummed as she kneaded dough with flour-stained hands. Two toddlers chased a dog, their shoes clapping against the stone pavilion, their mother's weary chastisement following. Everywhere Ashitaka turned there were people arguing, laughing, gossiping, and filling the air with a cacophony of sounds. It was a welcome purge of the silence that had occupied his ears for so long.
Ashitaka was led through one of the narrow pathways that branched off from the market square. Here, it was a residential area, houses lining both sides of the street.
Koroku stopped in front of one of them. It was distinguished from the others only by the peeling red paint on its door. He slid it open, and motioned for Ashitaka to proceed.
Ashitaka squinted as he stepped into the dim room. His ears caught a gentle crooning rising from one of the far corners. It was Toki, rocking a cradle and singing softly to the bundle inside. She looked up as they entered, and upon seeing them, her tired face brightened immediately.
"Ashitaka!" She practically flew to him, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. "Oh, you're getting more handsome every time I see you! Have you grown again? You better be careful. The other girls would ambush you. Oh, how I've missed you!" Another breath-stealing embrace followed.
"It's good to see you, too," Ashitaka said, laughing and squeezing her tight. Her hair was unbound for once, and its croppy ends tickled his nose.
Koroku sulked behind them, obviously off-put that his wife hadn't deigned to notice him.
A soft sneeze issued from the bundle in the cradle.
Like lightning, Koroku was beside it in an instant.
"Oh my god, is he alright? It sounds like he's getting sick! It could be typhoid, or measles, or the plague I heard going around in the south! Oh, I knew I shouldn't have left you. Daddy's here now."
"Koroku! Shut up!" Toki snapped, dragging her husband away, "I just spent an hour getting him to sleep, and I'll give you hell if you wake him up again."
"But--," Koroku protested. He was silenced by Toki's warning snarl.
In a whirlwind of activity, Toki assembled them all around the low table. Three pairs of utensils and earthenware bowls were set, and Toki spooned some stew that had been boiling into Ashitaka's bowl.
Ashitaka thanked her, keeping his voice hushed to a whisper. "How have you been, Toki?"
"Glad to be unpregnant," Toki replied, ladling some stew for Koroku. He was still looking at the cradle apprehensively. "Koroku, relax. The baby's not going to explode while you aren't looking."
"Explode?" Koroku paled.
Toki sighed and began to berate her husband mercilessly. It was obviously a routine task for her. Ashitaka watched them fondly as they bickered affectionately with each other.
"Toki, it's just that we have to be more careful. You know how quickly children can get sick."
"With all your fussing, Koroku, I'd think you were the woman in this relationship instead of me."
Ashitaka snorted into his stew. Koroku colored and finally settled down, although he often shot furtive glances at the cradle.
"Ashitaka, when you have children of your own, make sure you don't smother your wife with your constant hovering," Toki advised. "I barely have had any room to breath since the baby was born."
"When did you have your baby, Toki?" Ashitaka inquired.
"The thirteenth. That would make it about… hmmmm… two weeks?" Toki shot him a dirty look. "I noticed that you weren't the first one at my bedside congratulating me. I had to send my useless Koroku to fetch you because you didn't seem to care enough to see me."
Ashitaka opened his mouth to apologize.
"I'm just kidding." Toki waved her hand dismissively and laughed. "I know you would have come if you knew. Trust Koroku's child to come into world on the night of the worst blizzard Iron Town's ever seen."
A shrill cry came from the cradle. Koroku almost overturned the table as he sprang up. Instead, he tripped on his own feet and banged his head on the edge as he fell.
"Oh, damn." Toki stepped nonchalantly over her husband's prostrate form and went over to the cradle. She picked up the bundle within and began cooing gently to her son. In his mother's arms, he began to quiet down.
"Well," Toki said, "since he's up, Ashitaka, I'd like you to meet my son."
Ashitaka set his bowl aside, and let her place her baby gently into his arms.
"Say 'hi' to Ashitaka, Kenji."
Kenji blinked neutrally in response.
Ashitaka shifted Kenji carefully onto one arm. With his free hand, he stroked the soft whorls of dark hair on the baby's head.
"It's kinda hard to tell now," Toki said speculatively, "but I think he has my nose. He definitely has Koroku's big mouth judging by all the times I have to feed him."
"Hey!"
Ashitaka pressed his finger lightly into Kenji's hand. Tiny fingers wrapped tightly around it. Kenji smiled, his fat baby cheeks dimpling.
"Hey, he likes you," Toki exclaimed. "That's more than I can say for Koroku. Whenever his dad is near him, he just cries and cries."
"He just doesn't know me because you hog him all the time," Koroku muttered.
"You're a natural with kids," Toki continued, ignoring her husband. "You remember the Miwa twins who live down the road. The boys? Well, after that day you took them kite-flying, I found them at my door every morning for a week asking, 'When will Ashitaka come back to Iron Town? When, Auntie Toki. when?' They're mad about you. The other kids around here are too."
Ashitaka chuckled. He remembered Seiichi and Tomo's jubilant faces when he had fished their kite from a tree. He also recalled that they had a rather precocious eight-year-old sister, Aiko, who persistently asked him when he was going to marry her.
"Children are easy to get along with." Ashitaka rocked Kenji lightly.
"You think that now, but you obviously haven't woken up in the dead of night to feed one." Toki watched enviously as Kenji started to doze off. "You know, I've been wondering. Why don't you and San have a baby?"
The comment startled Ashitaka. He met Toki's eyes, and she shot him a pointed look.
"Oh, please. As if I'm not the only one who wants to know."
"I don't think so," he responded as evenly as he could, "San and I will probably just remain friends."
"Yeah," Toki scoffed, "and Gonza likes to put on Eboshi's kimonos at night and masquerade as a geisha."
Koroku choked on his stew.
Toki scowled. "Doesn't that girl pay any attention to you? She might think she's a wolf, but you're obviously a flesh and blood man. You have needs." She narrowed her eyes. "Well, don't you?"
Ashitaka flushed. Fortunately, Koroku intervened on his behalf.
"Um, Toki, I don't think Ashitaka is exactly comfortable discussing his needs with us."
"Oh, hush, Koroku. It's not like we're not all mature adults here."
"Kenji isn't an adult," Koroku pointed out.
"Kenji doesn't count."
Kenji blew a spit bubble happily.
"Toki," Koroku pleaded, "Give Ashitaka some privacy."
Toki huffed. "Fine. But I still want to have a word with San and the way she's been neglecting you. When is she coming back anyways?"
"She should be home soon." Ashitaka tried not to appear as if he was reassuring himself as well.
"Well, where does she go every winter?"
"I don't know exactly. It's in her brother's territory in a different mountain range."
"I think it's a bit selfish of her to run off to god-knows-where and leave you in that cabin all by yourself." Toki scowled.
"I'm fine," Ashitaka assured, "I can take care of myself." Toki didn't appear to be very mollified.
To Ashitaka's relief, they turned their conversation towards the activities in town he had missed. Trade was booming. Iron-mining was a dying business as the town had switched to the textile manufacturing. Many of the women now worked with raw materials shipped in from suppliers in the west. As the three chattered amicably, Kenji slumbered peacefully in Toki's arms, unconscious of the noise nearby.
It was well-past midday before Ashitaka rose to return home.
"Koroku should travel back with you," Toki insisted, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind." She shot her husband a reprehensive look when he groaned.
"I'll be fine on my own, Toki. It was good to see you again, and the baby."
"Well, drop by more often. Things in Iron Town get a little dull without you." Toki winked, and Koroku nodded in agreement.
Ashitaka hugged them both goodbye. He had almost walked through the door when a large figure blocked his way.
It was Gonza. He looked surlier than usual.
"Ashitaka," he grunted.
"Hello, Gonza," Ashitaka said cautiously.
Gonza folded his arms across his chest imperiously and frowned at him like he was a newt in his rice.
"I'm here on milady's orders. She's invited you to her residence."
Ashitaka narrowed his eyes. Eboshi had never invited him to her private quarters before.
"Why wou—"
"I have no idea," Gonza snapped. "But I'm here to make sure you get there. Now move it!"
Kenji began to cry in Toki's arms.
"You idiot!" she fumed, "You woke him up again!"
Gonza backed out of the door hastily before Toki could reach for the nearest projectile.
Ashitaka gave a baffled Koroku and furious Toki a reassuring smile before he left as well.
Grumbling and muttering, Gonza led Ashitaka to the east side of town. The townspeople were wide awake now and the streets were busier than ever. Salesmen cried out their wares from crowded stalls. Here and there, survivors of the old Iron Town recognized him and greeted him cheerfully as he passed by.
He was waving to one of them when a young girl running through the streets nearly bowled him over.
"Ow!" she exclaimed, as she slammed into him. Ashitaka grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her as she wobbled precariously.
"I'm so, so, so very sorry," the girl whispered repeatedly under her breath.
"It's alright," he assured, although the shoulder which she collided with flexed painfully in protest.
The girl looked up at him. A horrified expression crossed her features.
"Oh, it's you!" she squeaked, turning red. "I— Oh my goodness… I-I-I need to go."
Before Ashitaka could say another word, she bolted. A group of girls waited for her on the other side of the street. When she reached them, they gathered around her and began whispering conspiratorially. They shot a glance Ashitaka's way and giggled collectively.
His confusion was penetrated only by Gonza's impatient bark telling him to hurry up.
When they reached Eboshi's residence, Ashitaka was a bit surprised by how mundane it looked. It wasn't too different from the same wood beam structure Ashitaka had seen everywhere else. There were no features glamorous enough to indicate that the most powerful figure in the town lived inside. The only noticeable variation was that it was bigger.
As Ashitaka stepped inside, the first thing he registered was the smell of incense. The air was permeated by a sweet, floral scent. He recognized it as the fragrance Eboshi was fond of wearing.
The interior walls were threadbare save for a large stretch of silk that hung from the widest wall. There was calligraphy on it, a few black characters that sprawled across the fabric.
Sit, walk, or run, but don't stumble.
The door to his left slid open.
"Welcome, Ashitaka."
Although Moro had snatched away her arm so many years ago, Eboshi remained much the poised politician he had first met. She was wearing a heavy winter kimono of light blue. Her hair was pulled back in its traditional topknot and the gold of her earrings winked in the darkness. The only make-up that adorned her face was the bright slash of red across her lips.
She was smiling far too widely for Ashitaka's comfort.
"Eboshi." He bowed stiffly.
"You may leave us now, Gonza." Lady Eboshi said, approaching Ashitaka in a predatory fashion. Gonza glared warningly at Ashitaka but stepped aside.
"Come now, Ashitaka. We'll be having tea in my bedroom."
"What!" Gonza screeched to a halt. "Are you sure that's appropriate, milady?"
Eboshi looked nonplussed. "The conversation I want to have with Ashitaka requires the utmost privacy," she explained. A coy tilt played upon her red lips. "Don't worry, Gonza. Ashitaka is a good boy. He'll behave."
Gonza's face turned an intriguing shade of puce.
"Come now." Lady Eboshi motioned towards the door.
Eboshi's bedroom was illuminated by the soft, red light of two lanterns overhead. A sleeping pallet had been rolled up and set aside so that a small table could fit in the center. A tea set was laid out.
"Please," Eboshi beckoned, "Sit."
Ashitaka complied, feeling slightly like a cornered animal. He watched apprehensively as Eboshi poured tea into his cup. She managed everything quite gracefully even with her handicap.
"Forgive me for being so sudden," Eboshi said as she filled her own cup, "I hope I find you well."
"Well enough," Ashitaka replied tersely. He distrusted the honeyed pitch of Eboshi's voice.
"This winter has been a harsh one. A few years ago, we would never have made it through. But this little town has saved itself countless of times. Despite everything," Eboshi smiled falteringly, "Despite me."
"Many of the people here wouldn't have anything if it weren't for you," Ashitaka replied encouragingly. "The people endure because of you."
"Do you think so?" She looked up at him through a filter of dark lashes. Her eyes were two ink spots on her rice paper face. For a fleeting moment, she looked vulnerable.
It surprised him. Eboshi never showed her cards.
"Look around you," Ashitaka insisted, "The people are happier than they ever were. The town is thriving."
Eboshi stared pensively into the cup in her hand, blowing lightly at the steam that rose and clouded her face.
"Do you really think the people need me?" she murmured quietly.
Ashitaka reached over the table and placed a hand on her arm. Eboshi's eyes widened fractionally, but she didn't recoil.
"You are part of this town. You always will be."
Eboshi's smile was more genuine this time. He could see a bit of her mask chipping away.
With the exception of the clinking of lacquer cups, they passed the time in silence. Both sipped mutely at the jasmine tea. Its warmth was soothing, and Ashitaka felt the previous tension in his gut unraveling.
When Eboshi did speak, she said the last thing he could have expected.
"I'm getting married this spring."
Since she had given no preamble, Eboshi supposed it was acceptable for Ashitaka to spew tea all over her expensive Chinese rug.
"You—" he wheezed, "could have told me this earlier."
"And miss seeing the expression on your face?" She grinned. "I think not."
Ashitaka's mouth creased into a thin line. From the furrow deepening between his brows, Eboshi could tell he did not share her amusement.
He set his cup down firmly; the clack resounded off the walls.
"I want to know what this is about. From the beginning."
Eboshi gave a long-suffering sigh. "Alright. As you know," she began, "Iron Town has been trading with the city of Umishi for nearly three years now."
She didn't mention how it was largely Iron Town's alliance with the port city that allowed it to be resuscitated after the fall of the Forest Spirit.
"The Saito family runs the majority of Umishi. It's through our trade with them that we've been able to wean ourselves off of iron. They send us the raw materials. We manufacture the cloth, return it back to them, and they ship it all over Japan through their ports. They've been very good to us, Ashitaka. Especially Lord Saito himself. He's been extremely generous to me in particular. But despite his seemingly unconditional benevolence, he is a businessman. I have wondered many times what motivated him to help us.
"When he last visited his intentions became clear. He came with a proposition. Under its terms, Iron Town would receive the financial backing to acquire our own shipping dock and manage a portion of our exports and imports. That way, we can buy supplies for the town without any intermediate intervention. In return, Saito and his family would become our exclusive buyers. Iron Town's cloths would sell strictly to them." She looked away. "Also, I would marry Haru Saito.
Lord Saito has four sons. The youngest of them is named Haru. I haven't yet ascertained the reason why, but Lord Saito is more than eager to get rid of him. I've tried to look into it, but their family is extremely closed off. I'm certain there is something awry if his family wants to marry him off to a crippled woman."
"So you don't know anything about him?" Ashitaka asked, frowning.
"No. I have only heard of him through his father. I know he is only twenty. It makes me feel old." She laughed dryly. "The reason I called you here today is because I need to ask a favor of you. Other than Saito's unusual son, I have little qualms about their family. However, Saito does have other relatives in high places. He is a cousin of Lord Asano."
Eboshi noticed the way Ashitaka's fists tightened reflexively.
The boy forgave easily, but he never forgot.
"What would you have me do? Fight him?" There was a sharp, metal edge buried in his soft voice.
"Of course not, Ashitaka. Lord Asano doesn't want to start a war with us. He knows what we're capable of. However, he does have a certain amount of… influence on his more favorable cousin."
"Then what do you need of me?"
"Lord Asano remembers quite clearly what happened the last time he tried to meddle in Iron Town's affairs. However, greed can cloud even the most potent memories. No doubt he'll be interested in our burgeoning business. I'm afraid that he might inflame his cousin's ambitions so that Saito wants to take over Iron Town and forsake collaboration. I can't risk that. When Lord Asano is here, I want him to remember who he is dealing with. That's why I need you to be with me when their family comes. Your presence will ward off any stray ideas he may have."
"You want me to scare Lord Asano out of being interested in Iron Town?" Ashitaka asked disbelievingly.
"I wouldn't exactly use the word 'scare.' It's more of a cautionary procedure." Eboshi grinned wickedly. "His men are still telling horror stories about you. The last one I heard was quite interesting. You apparently resemble a blue tengu with six arms which you use to rip apart your victims before drinking their blood. As if it were sake."
Ashitaka's scoffed. However, Eboshi noticed that the corners of his lips twitched upwards.
"That's why I need you around," Eboshi explained. "Lord Asano won't try anything if the famous Ashitaka is still protecting Iron Town. He knows his men would rather soil themselves than fight you."
"So," Ashitaka said tentatively, "all I have to do is show up and look menacing."
"That's right." She briefly appraised him. "You might want to consider changing a few things about your appearance. You don't look very intimidating."
To be truthful, Eboshi actually thought Ashitaka was far too good-looking for the part. Granted, the slow smile and piercing blue eyes were lethal among the town's female populace. However, Eboshi didn't think Lord Asano's soldiers would be too impressed.
Unless they were up against an army of women.
"I'll ask Toki and her friends to make sure you look barbaric enough."
Ashitaka sheepishly ran a hand through his unruly hair. "I'm still not sure about this."
Eboshi's bright kimono fabric bunched in her fists. An awkward silence elapsed between them.
"I'll pay you," she said desperately.
Ashitaka burst into laughter. "All right, Eboshi. You don't have to pay me. I'll help you."
Eboshi smiled broadly without any trace of coyness or cunning. "Thank you, Ashitaka. Thank you so very much."
"There's just one thing," he said. "About this marriage. Are you— are you sure you want to do this?" His eyes were concerned.
That was the beauty of Ashitaka, Eboshi reflected. He truly cared about another person's happiness.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"But you don't love him," Ashitaka protested. "You don't even know this man."
"It's not for love. It's for business," Eboshi replied flatly.
"No one would want you to force yourself through this."
"We can't all wait on someone for the rest of our lives."
Eboshi watched as an unguarded emotion flickered across Ashitaka's face. It was brief, but her quick eyes caught the change.
"Ah." She raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?"
Ashitaka didn't flinch at her probing gaze, and his eyes betrayed nothing. However, Eboshi noticed the slight tightening of his jaw, the crease between his brows, the way his mouth pressed into a thin line. It all spoke volumes.
Eboshi knew Ashitaka didn't like others prying into his private affairs. It was one of the reasons he chose to live apart from Iron Town. He preferred a quiet life, one without the clamor of townspeople fawning over him or whispering in awe as he passed.
The Hero of Iron Town. She understood how uncomfortably he wore that title.
Also, San didn't come often to Ashitaka when he was in Iron Town. She was even more ill at ease with the murmuring and gawking strangers. Ashitaka had taken vast efforts to distance himself from curious eyes and ears. Sometimes Eboshi didn't know whose life he was so jealously guarding, his own or San's.
However, despite all of the barriers he had erected, people still talked. There wasn't a single person in Iron Town who didn't know he was in love with San.
Eboshi wondered if he knew about the betting pool. The people of Iron Town, especially the women, had staked impressive sums of money on certain aspects of their relationship. Eboshi thought it was all highly entertaining if a bit unhealthily obsessive. The two had already disappointed a majority of the populace with the slow pace of their relationship. She wondered if Ashitaka would hurry up things up if he knew his delay was proving to be a costly investment to many gamblers.
There were also hordes of women eagerly waiting for a chance to end his celibate lifestyle.
"You know," Eboshi said suggestively, "There are a lot of women in Iron Town who wouldn't give you half as much trouble as that wolf-girl of yours."
Ashitaka stiffened.
"If you want, I could drop in a few good words. It wouldn't be hard. You're young, handsome—"
"No." His tone was icy.
Eboshi shrugged. "Suit yourself. But you might want to consider if that wolf-girl is more trouble than she's worth."
Ashitaka rose abruptly from the table. "Thank you, Lady Eboshi. When will you be needing me?"
Eboshi chided herself for baiting him. Sometimes she just couldn't resist. He was so easy, so open.
She needed to mend things now. Standing, she placed a placating hand on his arm.
"Forgive me, Ashitaka. I had no right."
His expression softened. "When can I help?"
"Early March. About two weeks from now. Saito is bringing his family and the formal betrothal will be held then."
"I'll be there." He hesitated. "Does the rest of the town know about this?"
"They will in time."
Internally, Eboshi grimaced at the commotion her betrothal would cause.
"I need to be returning home now," he said, "I've overstayed, and I've probably upset Yakkul."
Eboshi wanted to express her sympathies that he was going home to an elk and not a woman. But she bit her tongue instead.
Eboshi escorted Ashitaka to the front door. When she slid it open, her kimono sleeves fluttered in the brisk winter wind.
Outside, Gonza was patrolling the perimeter of her house. He tried and failed to appear coincidental about his presence.
"Travel safely, Ashitaka," Eboshi cautioned.
"Thank you. Goodbye!" He bowed, brushed past her, and hopped down the steps.
In a short time, Ashitaka had traveled through the town gates. He slowed as he trekked uphill, beside the muddy trail that led him closer to the forest. Within a few minutes, the sounds of Iron Town had subsided to white noise, once again replaced by the blanket of winter quiet.
However, around him, the signs of spring were everywhere. Patches of yellowed grass speared through the thinner sheets of snow. A rabbit nibbled at one of them and fled as he approached. Twice, Ashitaka glimpsed sparrows darting across the sky.
The forest was awakening again.
When he approached his home, the sound of pawing hooves indicated that Yakkul had heard him arrive. A loud snort issued from behind the closed stall.
Ashitaka unlatched the door and was greeted by a long muzzle. He yelped when Yakkul butted him gently and shoved him backwards into a snowbank.
"You didn't have to do that," Ashitaka grumbled, brushing himself off. "I know I'm late. I'm sorry. Things didn't go exactly as I planned." He sighed, gave up cleaning himself, and flopped back onto the snow. Closing his eyes, he emptied his mind of everything but the low whisper of the wind through the trees.
A loud snuffling alerted him to Yakkul's presence. She nibbled affectionately at his sleeve, her way of showing that all was forgiven.
Ashitaka looked up into the gray sky. A screen of clouds filtered out the dying sunlight, dimming everything to a hazy yellow.
"I wish San was here," he murmured quietly.
A long, wet tongue swiped across his cheek. Grimacing, Ashitaka patted Yakkul.
"Thanks, but you're not the one I need that kind of attention from."
She snorted and lowered her head. He grabbed one of her antlers and complied when she hoisted him up.
"Come on. I'll take you out for a run. You're probably stiff from being inside all day."
Yakkul nickered her approval.
It only took Ashitaka a few moments to find her reigns. Bridle in place, he tugged and urged her forward.
The path they ran along was still completely hidden under snow. However, Ashitaka could have walked it in his sleep. Yakkul, sensing the familiarity of the surroundings, quickened her pace and pulled more insistently at her reigns. Ashitaka allowed her to lead them to the edge of a clearing.
The water was frozen and the trees were bare. The silence in the air, free of the clicks and clacks of Kodama, was chilling. However, the pool of the Great Forest Spirit was unmistakable. Even in the dead of winter, it never lost its aura of mystique and wonder.
Ashitaka always thought that the air was thicker here; it was crowded with a restless energy he couldn't explain. It drew along his nerves like a rusty blade, making him feel more impulsive, more reckless, as if something primal was gnawing at the edge of his senses.
A distant memory flickered across edge of his consciousness. It was last summer. The air had been filled with the rushing of water and the piping whistles of songbirds.
And there was San.
San laughed. It was a clean, bright sound that scythed through the thick, humid air.
Ashitaka attempted to appear disgruntled, but he couldn't help but grin as well.
"It's not that easy," he insisted.
Shoulders still shaking with mirth, San crept to his side. Planting her hands on the wet sand, she peered into the water below. Small, silvery shapes darted beneath the glittering surface.
"You just need to learn how. Watch carefully."
Obediently, Ashitaka watched. It wasn't hard since he was used to watching San.
He observed the way the sunlight fell across her shoulders, cloaking her in gold. Her skin, pale and creamy during the colder months, had acquired a honeyed tone. A few droplets of water dotted her arms and gleamed like diamond bangles in the sun. Her dark eyes narrowed as she skimmed the surface of the water. Slowly, she ran the pink tip of her tongue across her lips.
Ashitaka felt a sudden bolt of heat lance through him.
San struck.
There was barely a splash as she plunged her arms into the water. When she withdrew, a small mass of glimmering scales wriggled in her clutches. Quickly, she dashed the fish against a rock, and it stopped squirming.
"See?" she said, wiping off her hands on her skirt. "It's simple."
"Easy for you to say," Ashitaka grumbled.
San beckoned him closer to her side and leaned her head close to his. Their temples almost touched. She was close enough to share his breath.
"You see where the fish are swimming in the shadows?"
Ashitaka nodded, half-heartedly paying attention. San's scent was overwhelming. Other than the earthy, rich scent of the forest, he could detect a faint trace of something else. It was a light, barely noticeable, and distinctly feminine. It made his mouth run dry and his palms clammy with sweat.
"If you lean over the water at the right angle," she continued, "they gather in your shadow."
She turned towards him. Ashitaka tried valiantly to keep his mind on the fish.
Yes. Fish. They were cool and slick to the touch. Unlike San. San's skin would be soft, smooth, and sun-warmed under palms.
If he reached out he would know.
"Remember," she said, her words blowing hotly into his ear. "If you keep your arms within the shadow of your body, they won't notice you."
Ashitaka fought the tremor that surged up his spine.
"Now lean forward. I'll tell you when."
From the corner of his eye, something sparkled and caught his attention. A bead of water trailed down San's neck, across the shallow indentation at the base of her throat, and disappeared into the hollow between her breasts.
Ashitaka suddenly had a desire to follow its path with his mouth.
"NOW!"
Instinctively, he lunged forward, vaguely remembering the task at hand. However, he overshot his reach and lost his balance. Flailing, he fell face-first into the stream.
Water rushed into his mouth and ears. He gave great, whooping coughs as he rose to the surface. After he wiped some of the algae off his face, he saw San curled upon the bank, rocking back and forth and laughing hysterically.
"What," she wheezed, "what was that?"
"I lost my balance," Ashitaka replied sulkily.
"Really?" San quirked an eyebrow.
Something squirmed in Ashitaka's pocket, making him jump. He reached in and seized the intruder. When he pulled his hand out, he was rewarded with the annoyed glare of a voluminous bullfrog.
It croaked.
San broke into fresh peals of laughter. Tears streaked down her face, and she clutched her sides as if she would burst.
Ashitaka released the frog back into the water. With San preoccupied, he stalked closer to the shore. When he was near enough, his hand shot out of the water and seized her ankle.
"What are—" Before San could protest, Ashitaka snaked an arm around her waist and dragged her in. San's shrieks of indignation were drowned out as Ashitaka dunked her thoroughly. When she surfaced, spluttering, she scowled at the broad, innocent grin on his face.
With a cry, she tackled him.
A water war raged on for some time. Both parties resorted to cheating copiously. Ashitaka used his leverage to tickle San mercilessly. In retaliation, San shoved generous amounts of mud into his pants, causing him to squelch unpleasantly. They diverted briefly to splashing Yakkul, who was resting peacefully at the water's edge. She rose, shook off the water, and shot both of them a distasteful look before relocating herself a good distance away.
When they finally dragged themselves back onto the bank, sopping wet, they were exhausted.
San flopped onto the ground, closing her eyes and breathing heavily.
Ashitaka sat beside her, tucking his legs to his body and wrapping his arms around his knees. He winced when he felt a faint suction between his legs. Apparently he hadn't gotten rid of all the mud.
Beside him, San sighed and stretched luxuriously. Ashitaka heard the faint 'pop' of her joints as she flexed. The thin, wet fabric of her dress clung to her lithe frame, tracing the curve of her waist and swell of her breasts.
Ashitaka looked away. He reminded himself that nudity didn't hold the same implications to San as it did for other people. Indeed, he remembered a singular incident when she had invited him for a swim and had stripped almost completely naked before she caught him gawking incredulously at her.
"Ashitaka?"
"Yes?" he said, turning.
San smiled up at him, her eyes softened by the dark fan of her lashes.
Years of wanting and waiting crashed against the worn wall of Ashitaka's resistance. It collapsed with one, simple smile from San's well-loved face.
He leaned over and kissed her.
His mouth cut off her sharp intake of breath. Her lips were soft, so soft, and he kissed her lightly, unreasonably afraid that she would shatter like glass.
San froze.
Ashitaka jerked back, dazed, ecstatic, and terrified all at once. An apology was nearly issuing from his mouth before he opened his eyes and saw San staring back at him.
Her eyes were wide and luminous. She brought a hand to her mouth and shyly traced a finger across her lips.
It wasn't encouragement or permission. But it was enough.
With a growl, Ashitaka plunged into the second kiss, a parched man diving for water.
This time, he didn't bother to temper his hunger. He sucked greedily on her full, bottom lip and drank in her surprised gasp. His body was twisted awkwardly and hovered precariously over hers. They were both still soaking wet and San's clothes smelled slightly of fish. But he was beyond caring. All that mattered was that San was there, soft and pliant under his hands.
He curled his fingers around the wispy hair at the nape of her neck and brought her closer, deeper into the kiss. Her taste was intoxicating, tangy-sweet like the berries they had gathered that morning. His other hand roamed from her hip to edge of her ribs. He felt her tremble slightly as his fingertips glided across a sensitive spot on her side.
One of San's hands fluttered against his chest. It slid across his belly and settled against the inside of his thigh.
Ashitaka's blood roared in his ears. Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her so that their bodies pressed together. The rub of her breasts against his chest caused him to buck sharply against her hips.
Then San's lips parted.
A wave of heat erupted in him, pooling between his legs.
Naturally, Ashitaka did what any other young man would have done in his predicament.
He slipped his tongue in.
San drew away. Ashitaka groaned in protest and tried to recapture her lips. She brought her hand between them, and he ended up kissing her palm instead.
"What was that?"
Ashitaka stilled and stared, dumbfounded.
San looked genuinely puzzled. "When you put your mouth on mine. What was that?"
"You… that… k-kiss," Ashitaka spluttered, confounded.
San cocked her head in a distinctly dog-like fashion. "A kiss?"
"Yes," Ashitaka panted. "What we did. That was a kiss."
"This?" San closed the short distance between them and pressed her lips firmly against his. Ashitaka's eyes fluttered close. He was disappointed that when they pulled apart, San looked far more composed than he was feeling.
"Yes," he responded, his voice raspy, "that was a kiss."
"Oh," San said, eyes brightening, "I've done that before."
"What?" Ashitaka didn't mean to shout. A barb of jealousy had spiked through him, sharp and unexpected. "With who?" His grip on San's arm tightened.
"With you of course." San frowned at Ashitaka's blank stare. "When you still had the mark. The Great Forest Spirit had just healed you. You were on the water bank on the island, and you were still weak. You couldn't chew your food. I had to do it for you."
"Oh," Ashitaka said, feeling immensely stupid and relieved.
"Wasn't that a kiss?"
"No! I mean—yes. That was a kiss. But this one is different." Ashitaka fumbled for the words. "This one meant something else."
San looked at him innocently. "What did it mean?"
Ashitaka's mind reeled. There were a thousand things he wanted say, to show.
'I want you. I need you. I can't bear it when you leave and just thinking about it hurts. But what hurts the most is when we're together. Like this. Everyday. When you're right in front of me and at the same time as distant as a star.
I love you. Every time you smile at me I'm one step closer to telling you and two steps farther away. Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I could ruin everything, and I'd rather have you close and unknowing than not at all.'
The words congealed in a thick lump in his throat, fighting for a voice. He swallowed them regretfully.
"It means I care for you."
It was an honest if abridged truth.
San beamed at him, radiating pleasure at something so simple, so obvious.
"Really?"
"Yes." The word rushed out of Ashitaka's mouth, fierce with honesty.
San wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her, kissing him firmly. He could feel the outline of her smile against his lips.
He felt as if he would burst from wanting.
But San was innocent, far too innocent. She had seen war and death, and both have aged her beyond her years. But she had remained unmarked by a man's questioning touch.
Until today.
Ashitaka was flooded with an immense hatred for himself. He had been so reckless. How could he demand anything from San when she didn't even know what to give? How long would it take her to learn? How long could he keep waiting?
Was it worth waiting for?
Ashitaka tucked San's head under his chin and hugged her tightly. He felt the quick pace of her heart against his own and found his answer in their joined rhythm.
He could search the entire world ten times over and never find anyone who felt so perfect.
"Yes." He whispered, breathing in the clean scent of her hair. The truth hummed in his chest, beating its wings against the cage of his heart.
"Always."