Full Metal Alchemist Fan Fiction

Strength

By Kraven Ergeist

xxxxx

Chapter Four

Ed grimaced. "No, no…try it again, Riza."

Riza, for her part, was sweating profusely over a kiln, several half formed seals surrounding the earth around her. "Ed…I've been trying for two days straight! Why isn't it working?"

Ed sighed, trying to reconcile with her. She had been studying without rest for the past two days, and hadn't seen any results. Finally, Ed had decided to let her try to perform flame alchemy, though on a severely restricted level.

Rather than trying to start a fire, Ed had asked her to try to put one out.

So Riza had been spending the past several hours trying to choke out a campfire, cutting off all the oxygen, trying to snuff it out.

After painstaking lengths, the fire seemed to taunting her with its wispy flames.

Riza practically growled with frusration. She hadn't slept last night, staying up to read through Ed's collection of alchemy texts. She had dark blotches under her eyes, and was growing irritable. After another failed atempt, she angrily kicked one of the burning logs with her boot.

"This is impossible! I'm never going to get the hang of flame alchemy before I leave for Central!"

Ed sighed. "I warned you, Riza. Alchemy's a difficult proffesion. You can't expect to master it in three days!"

Riza sat on her haunches, leaning her back against a nearby tree. "But I'm leaving tomorrow!"

Ed got to his feet. He was trying not to smile, but she just kept reminding him of himself when he was first beginning.

He sat down beside her and offered a comforting touch on the shoulder.

"Well, you can always ask Major Armstrong to teach you."

Riza rested her head against her knees. "I don't want Armstrong to teach me, Ed, I want you."

Ed blinked. "What?"

Riza froze, realizing she had slipped up. She must have really been tired.

Ed stared unblinking at her. "Riza…"

Riza felt her face begin fo heat up. "I mean…nothing, forget it…"

Ed didn't let up. "Riza…"

Riza flinched as Ed wrapped his arms around her shoulders, but she didn't push him away. It was getting late and it was cold, and his arms were just so warm…

"Riza…"

His voice was so close now and his breath touched her cheeks, sending shivers down her spine for all the wrong reasons.

Riza lifted her head, and Ed's face was right there. He didn't look away, almost daring her to blink. Riza swallowed, resisting the urge to lick her lips. Was he doing this on purpose? Didn't he realize the electricity between them was making her heart pound and her throat dry? She would push him away if she wasn't so cold. She would take him in her arms if she wasn't so scared of waking up.

Ed touched his lips to hers. Just a touch. Riza refused to breath. Neither dared a word. His eyes were just barely open, and she could almost swear she could taste him.

"Ed…" his name passed her throat.

Ed responded with a smart curve of his lips. He opened his eyes and she almost lost her mind how golden they were.

Her hand came up touch his shoulder as gently as she could.

"I'm going back to Central tomorrow…" she breathed, drawing back to a safe distance.

Ed said nothing, but his smile was gone.

Riza found the strength to climb to her feet and slowly make her way back to the Rockbell house.

Ed watched the last of broken flames die down.

"Damn it…"

xxxxx

Dinner that evening was somewhat quiet. Riza had holed herself in her room on grounds that she hadn't slept since yesterday. The rest of the household, well aware of Riza's new fascination with Alchemy, didn't bat an eyelash.

When Edward remained silent throughout dinner, however, Winry raised an eyebrow.

"Ed, you haven't said a word all evening," she said worriedly, interrupting her fiancée's recount of his visit to the Ishbal encampment. "And you haven't touched your food. What's wrong?"

Ed shook his head. "Just don't feel like eating."

Winry threw him a meaningful look.

"Did something happen with Riza?"

Ed said nothing.

"Did you two get into a fight or something?"

Ed shrugged. "…Something like that."

Pinako sipped her water glass. "Well, you'd best make amends quickly – she's leaving in the morning you know."

Ed nodded. "I know."

Nothing more was said, though Ed received his share of troubled looks after dinner.

Later, Ed and Al were sitting by the fireplace, catching up on the past few years. Ed was surprised to learn how much Al had learned in terms of alchemy – he was almost at the State Alchemist level, Ed was sure of it. Though, Al had no such aspirations.

"I just don't trust the military," Al explained. "If the time we spent searching for the Philosopher's Stone has taught me anything, it's that it's best not to get involved with them."

Ed smiled, inquisitively. "You remember it?"

Al shrugged. "Bits and pieces. Some of the stronger memories like seeing Marta die…seeing a homunculus that looked like mom…becoming the philosopher's stone…"

Ed nodded. "You're right, Al – it would be better if you stayed away from the military. But at least we know not everyone who's in the military are bad people. You trust Riza, don't you?"

Al winked. "Sure, don't you?"

Ed didn't miss a beat. "Of course I do."

Al smiled. Hook line and sinker. "Then why have you spent the evening avoiding her?"

Ed tensed up. "Um…well, I mean, she trying to sleep…"

Al shook his head. "I doubt she's getting much of it – you could hear her tossing and turning for the past hour or so."

Ed looked away. "Well, still – I don't want to disturb her."

Al had to stop himself from laughing. "Niisan…you know you're only fooling yourself, right?"

Ed bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

"Just what exactly did you two fight about anyway?"

Ed sighed, concentrating on the fireplace. "We…didn't exactly get into a fight…it was more like…"

Ed bided his time by feeling the air around the fire. With all the flame alchemy he'd researched to help Riza with her studying, he was beginning to get a sense for the flow of air that fed the fire, the steady influx of oxygen and the release of carcinogens-

"More like?"

Ed snapped to. "Oh…well…you know… It was more like…we both realized something."

Al nodded. "I think the rest of us have realized it too."

Ed said nothing.

Al chuckled. "I'll tell you what, Niisan – I'm gonna go to bed. What you do from now until morning…that's up to you."

Ed watched Al getting to his feet. As he walked away, Ed suddenly got up and took his brother by the shoulders and embraced him.

"Niisan?"

"Al…" he sighed, holding him tightly. "Thank you. And I'm sorry. Can you…promise me something?"

Al blinked, holding his brother's arms. "What?"

"Keep true to your belief – stay away from the military." Ed almost chocked the next words. "Stay out of Central entirely."

Al tried not to laugh. "Ok, Niisan. If you think they're that dangerous…"

"Promise?"

This time Al did chuckle. "I promise, okay? Now go talk to Riza before we all lock you up together."

Ed didn't laugh as he watched his brother walk away.

xxxxx

Moments later, a knock sounded on Riza's door.

"Riza? Are you asleep?"

Ed's words were met with silence. Too much silence, as it turned out – Edward was tuned into the airflow inside the room, and the steady puff of Riza's breathing had suddenly stifled with the sound of his voice.

Ed closed his eyes. She could hear him.

"Riza…" he breathed. "I just…wanted to apologize for putting you in this position. I know it's difficult with the…with Roy gone. I've just been so alone for the past three years. I needed…something. I let that need get the better of me and I'm sorry."

Ed sat on the floor, his back to the door.

"You know, the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to let it go. Maybe it's a good thing you're leaving tomorrow…any longer, and it would just be too painful. I don't think I could stand losing that kind of connection with someone."

Ed squeezed his eyes shut.

"Not again…"

Riza had gotten out of bed and mirrored Edward by sitting with her back to the door. She still said nothing, and her face remained blank. But a million thoughts were going around in her head.

"The truth is…" Edward said. "I had to give it all up in order to make it back in one piece. The price I paid…"

Riza creased her brow as she heard Ed sigh in grief.

"…Was Winry."

Riza blinked. What did he mean by that?

"You see, in order to make it through the gate, I had to offer up something of equal value. Rather than give up my body, I chose to sacrifice something that I had to look forward too, something of personal importance to me. So, I made with back home with my arm and my leg…and in return, I lost any chance I'd ever have with Winry."

Riza drew in her breath. So that was the price he paid…

"It was almost too perfect," Ed sighed. "Rather than just have her move out or grow to hate me, she got engaged to my brother, the one person in the whole world whose trust I could never betray. It was arranged just perfectly so that it could dangle what could have been right in front of my face."

Riza felt a lump forming in the back of her throat. "It…it isn't fair, the way life takes those we value from our lives…is it?"

Ed sighed on the other side of the door. "No, it's not."

He got to his feet.

"Well…I just wanted you to understand why I did what I did. All I wanted was to fill an empty place in my life that used to be so full of happiness."

Riza slowly stood up. "I know…so was I, Ed."

Ed shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "No, don't blame yourself, Riza. I'm the one who broke the first rule."

The door opened, and Riza fixed her gaze on the boy.

"Well I'm breaking it too."

In an instant, she had taken him by the shoulders and was kissing him.

Ed couldn't breathe. He could hardly think. What was she doing? Hadn't he just spent all this time trying to break what he had so heedlessly established? She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be doing this!

And god help him, he shouldn't be loving it so much! He shouldn't be returning this kiss, shouldn't be moaning into her mouth, shouldn't be curling his fingers through her hair, causing her to squirm with a startling passion that he wouldn't have expected from her.

The way she moved against him, her muscles coiled with a feline elegancy, as she clung to him with a surprising bit of strength, almost painfully so. Oddly, all it served to do was drive him further on, as he kissed her open mouthed, devouring her lips, enjoying the feel of her warm frame pressed against him.

And just as suddenly, he pushed her away, gasping for air.

"That was…"

"We just…"

Both of them were looking at each other with something more akin to shock than actual passion.

"Maybe we…"

"This isn't…"

Ed swallowed hard, holding her tightly by the shoulders.

"I should…sleep out here tonight…"

As exhilarated as Riza was, she found she could neither protest nor agree as Edward gently pushed her back into the bedroom and shut the door between them. He then grasped the doorframe, the full weight of the situation suddenly weight on his shoulders as he almost buckled over with the realization of what had just occurred.

They had just kissed.

And it had been fantastic!

Taking several deep breaths, Ed paced the empty hallway, looking for something to keep his mind off the beautiful blonde that lay mere footsteps away. Good God, he wanted her right then! And she had made her intentions pretty clear - If he ran back to the room and opened the door and taken her right then, she wouldn't have stopped him.

The temptation was just…

Edward slapped his face. No! He wasn't thinking straight. Sure, it would be a fantastic rush, but then what? Then, they'd have been stuck with a situation that neither of them wanted to deal with.

No, it had to stop now.

Walking out to the porch, Ed stared hard at the stars.

Back in the bedroom, Riza was laying on her back, eyes wide open. The adrenaline was slowly seeping out of her system, and her body eventually calmed down, but her mind was in overdrive for the remainder of the night.

It was not images of Mustang that flooded her dreams that night.

xxxxx

The next morning, Ed was nowhere to be found. Al and Winry were worried, but Riza explained the situation to them. None of them seemed too surprised after that.

"He did what?" Winry gawked. "Gosh, we all wanted him to get a clue, but I didn't expect him to move that fast!"

Riza blushed through the whole explanation. She hadn't wanted to reveal what had happened the night before, but she felt like she owed them an explanation for Ed's behavior – they had been without him for three years, they had every right to be concerned.

Though, she was quickly coming to regret the decision.

"So, how was he?" Winry asked, her concern for Ed's situation suddenly lifted. "If he had to sleep in a different room, he must have thought you were pretty-"

"Gosh, look at the time, Riza!" Al interrupted, overtly looking at his watch. "When's your train get here? You're gonna be late!"

Winry poked her fiancé in the side. "You're no fun, Al!"

Al smiled, weakly. "Give the poor woman a break, Winry – You know how much she's going through."

Winry smiled, relenting. "Alright, fine. But you better call sometime – I don't want to have to wait a whole year just to hear from you Riza."

Riza managed a smile. "Count on it."

Al smiled. "Take care."

Pinako shook her hand. "If you're ever in need of a good mechanic, you let us know – Between Winry and myself, we'll fix just about anything."

Riza nodded. "Will do."

Wrath smiled weakly. "See you later!"

Sig nodded in agreement.

Riza smiled, warmly. "Thanks a lot you guys. It was great to see you all again. I'll be back next year if all goes well. Until then, take care."

They Rockbell's waved farewell as Riza prodded down the street towards the train station.

She heaved a great sigh. She had hoped to at least say goodbye to Edward. Though they might not have let each other go, it still would have been nice just to be held in those arms once again…

Riza shook her head. It would be a full year before she would ever see him again. She needed to put him out of her mind and focus on her job. Central would be wanting a full report. She had stayed in Rizenpool for five days, they would expect an explanation.

Riza sighed. It would be a long day, and the train ride was just the beginning. She paid for her ticket, checked her bags, and boarded the train, sitting down in one of the seats, and picked up an alchemy textbook that she had "borrowed" from Ed's study.

Shortly after the train started moving, she sensed someone standing over her.

"That's called stealing, you know?"

Riza looked up. And dropped her book.

"Ed?"

Ed plopped down in the seat in front of her. "The way I see it, you're never going to get the hang of Flame Alchemy the rate you're going. And don't get me wrong, Armstrong's a fine alchemist, but he's not the greatest teacher. He really only good in practice."

"Ed, what are you doing here?" Riza scowled. "This train is bound for Central! The instant you so much as set foot – get off this train, right now!"

Ed crossed his arm. "I'm not going anywhere, Riza."

Riza got to her feet and seized Ed by the wrist. "Edward, I mean it!"

Ed didn't flinch. "So do I."

Riza looked helplessly at him. "Edward, don't be a fool! Do you realize what the consequences will be if the military learns of your return? You'll be hunted for information on the Philosopher's Stone for the rest of your life! You'd be a target no matter where you go!"

Ed shrugged. "So? Can't be much worse than some of the things I've already experienced in my life."

Riza was on the verge of tears. "Why are you doing this? Is it because of me? Is it because of Roy? Because of Winry or Al or the Military or Ishbal…what are you trying to make up for?"

Edward stared out the window, glancing up at the sun. Once, a long time ago, he had reached for that sun on a train car much like this one. The sun was no god – it was simply a ball of burning gas. Get too close, and you get burned. Yet people will always continue to reach for the sun, trying their hardest to get closer to God. Maybe that's what Alchemy was all about – maybe Alchemists were the closest things to God's humanity would ever see.

Ed certainly didn't feel like much of a God, sitting next to this gorgeous specimen of femininity. He was in awe of no God, no power, no force as much as he was in awe of Riza. Just sitting across to her gave him goose bumps. He understood now why Mustang had kept her so close. She exuded strength the way the sun exuded warmth, and she had plenty of that as well.

"It's simple, really…" Ed smiled at her. "I've never taught alchemy before. It's not something I've ever seen myself doing. But now that I've had a taste of it…"

He stood up to touch Riza's face.

"I want to see where it goes…"

Riza's ears burned as she looked away. "Are you sure you're serious about this?"

Ed smiled. "Positive."

Riza crossed her arms, uncomfortably. "I can…be a pretty stubborn student sometimes. I'm not always the most creative…or interesting…"

He shook his head. "And I'm still just learning myself. You'll have to be just as patient with me."

"If I agree to do this…" Riza looked up hopefully. "You won't give up on me, even if I don't seem to get it right away?"

Ed shook his head. "Riza, the Military will be begging you to be the next Flame Alchemist before I let you quit."

Riza sighed, closing her eyes as she smiled. "Ed…I just don't know if I'm ready…"

Ed smiled. "Neither do I. But I do know that this is what I want."

Riza's eyes came open as Ed leaned in to kiss her on the lips.

"…And I know that you want this just as much as I do…"

Riza was frozen stiff as Ed kissed her again. His hands came up to touch her face, and her arms encircled his shoulders almost unconsciously. She could scarcely believe what she was doing. She had never gone so far as to kiss anyone in her past. As a young woman growing up, she had always been antisocial, always focusing on her schooling, never allowing herself time for friends or lovers. Even that connection with Roy had been purely emotional – she hadn't allowed him to so much as touch her for the longest time, simply by matter of principle. In their last days together, the farthest they had gone was simple hand holding.

Was she just making up for lost experiences with someone else? Did she feel like she had been cheated of her one chance to truly experience intimacy, and thus be willing to open up to anyone?

No, she would not open up to just anyone – her lack of fulfillment in the past probably contributed to this burning need to keep kissing this young man. But Edward meant more to her than that. He had always stood out more than almost anyone she knew. And he had a fire in his smile that could easily match Roy's.

Riza groaned and pushed Ed down on the seat. She needed to stop thinking about Roy. Roy was dead. She needed to move on. If moving on involved doing something so…illicit, then so be it. At least her nightmares had started to fade.

And besides, why should suddenly breaking this steady resolve to remain untouched be such a bad thing? It felt unbelievable! And Ed was a good, honest young man. She knew, more than anyone else, that he would never betray her. His moral boundaries extended far beyond the normal throes of man. He had seen and touched and lived on such an existentially unprecedented level.

Edward was so…different.

"I…think the other passengers are getting annoyed…" Ed laughed, a slight blush on his face.

Riza's eyes fluttered open. "Oh…"

Ed kept his arm around her waist as Riza sat down beside him, leaning against his shoulder. It was about a four hour train ride to Central, even longer with all the stops they'd make.

Riza hardly noticed.