Disclaimer: I don't own the loveless series or the characters. Yun Kouga does.

Summary: Ritsuka asks a lot of questions about his life so far. Both he and Soubi reminice about how they met and what is going to happen to them now. Read and review.

Warning: Strong suggestive matter, prossible lemons. YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI! Adult on adolescent subject matter.

Recommandation: Do not read if you do not like what the warning says. I will not tolerate any flaming if you don't like what you read, you will be reported emmediatly. (If the flame is about the couple or content of which you have been warned of.)

A/N: Surprisingly, there's another chapter! Enjoy!

Because of you

Chapter Second: Dreamless

Soubi sat in his bed, the sunlight bathing his ethereal face. He took off the hairband that kept his blonde hair prisoner and brushed his fingers through it to make sure there were no knots. He sighed as he put on his glasses and looked outside. Ritsuka... He truly missed him, but he constantly kept away. From what, he didn't know. At first he thought that the kid was just afraid, a normal reaction. Really, what would you do if an adult suddenly springs into your life after your dear brother's death? You'd be scared. But Ritsuka wasn't afraid at first...He was entirely trusting, no matter what I could've said to him. A small smile appeared on the blonde haired man's face.

I told him I was a good friend of Seimei. Ritsuka had bought and immediatly asked to make memories. A funny way to say pictures but still. He had only gotten confused and distrusting after he had kissed him though. And with right. But Soubi couldn't resist, the boy was so cute. And they needed to created a bond quickly. Besides, since he was his rightful fighter, they could get seperated any time. They didn't even have to same name. Soubi shook his head. It doesn't matter! He got up abruptly. If he wanted to stay with Ritsuka forever, he needed to create a powerful psychological and physical bond with him. It was stronger than a normal soul binding that happened when both were born but not as resistent.

In fact, this sort of bond is like a relationship. It could break at any time if something was wrong. For them, it only took the right amount of distrust and it was over. He had been trying to get Ritsuka's complete trust for two years now. Going on three. Actually, it was Ritsuka's birthday in six days. The boy was going to be fifteen. Ritsuka was old enough to lose his ears and tail now, maturity wise. But what would people say if he became an adult while still in high school? Soubi scoffed to himself. Plenty of them already had lost their ears. His wouldn't be such a big deal really. He still had one year of highschool to do before it would be socially acceptable to lose this sort of thing. But with how the young society was going, it was nearly socially acceptable enough to lose his ears at the age of twelve.

Some kids just did have to idea what they throw away sometimes. But I want to throw Ritsuka's life away also...Should I wait more? Can I? Soubi grabbed his head with his hands and groaned inwardly as another headache was coming. Maybe it was time to visite Ritsuka, he was a cure in itself for headaches. He felt like a monster for wanting these kind of things from Ritsuka, but love made you think and do incredible things. Soubi took off his shirt and pants then removed his boxers and now stood naked in the middle of his small room, completly soaked in the early sun. He grabbed some clothes from his drawer and made his way to the bathroom. His roomate had found another male to harass, too overcome with Soubi's 'pedophilic' ways. He had moved away. The guy had absolutely no clue. Or maybe he did. Soubi thought wistfully as he stepped under the warm water of the shower.

He pressed his back to the wall of his shower stall and let the water fall on his stomach and chest. He looked up at the ceiling and saw Ritsuka's face with a small smile etched across it. He didn't smile very often, he nearly had nothing to smile about. But the more he thought about the boy in such a warm invironnement, the more his need grew, until he could no longer take it. His member had grown to a painful size and images of Ritsuka's bare chest from last night came back to him, he had seen the boy get dressed and it was only after a little while, and a lot of control, that Soubi sent him a text message. He moaned quietly as he grasped his swollen manhood in his hand. He knew it wasn't right to relieve yourself to the thought of a small boy, but Ritsuka was different from other boys.

Soubi moved up and down his member as he thought of ways he would gladly take his ears away from him. And ultimetly, he remembered how he had lost his. The thought made him shiver in disgust and instantly, he had lost the urge. His master had not only whipped him repeatedly but he ahd also raped him. The betrayal was great and always made him sick to his stomach. He sighed again and washed his hair and body quickly and got out of the shower. He grabbed a fresh towel from the stack and dried off then gathered his hair in a ponytail. He quickly ot dressed and moved to the small kitchen he had. Soubi prepared himself some eggs and ate in silence.

Ritsuka quickly gulped down his coffee and ran out the door. He wanted to go shopping for clothes before Soubi called him. Surprisingly enough, he didn't feel mad at him anymore and was actually looking foreward to a call from the adult. He needed new clothes since he had grown out of most of those he used to wear and also wanted to alter his style a little bit more. Maybe he could surprise Soubi for his birthday. If the guy actually remembered it was Ritsuka's birthday in six days. Ritsuka sighed as he walked down the street and got into the train. What if he had forgotten? Then What? He thought to himself sadly. Well, if he forgot then it would prove that Soubi didn't actually love him the way he always says he does. The eared boy decided that he wouldn't try to remind Soubi that it was his birthday soon and would watch him and see if hetruly did remember.

Ritsuka was shaken out of his musing as he heard the call saying this was the final station. He got up and waited near a door, holding to a bar so that he wouldn't fall to the floor when the train stopped. He would just start by buying what he needed and go back home. That's right, i'm out of food also. He sighed in a defeated way. This was going to be a long day and god knows he hated shopping.

Around two thirty in the afternoon, Soubi came back from the store with Ritsuka's gift, and decided he was going to attempt painting once more. He had a canvas always sitting in a corner of his small living room/bedroom. He picked up his painting utensils and his board smeared with paint then pulled the plastic wrapping from over to keep the pain mostly wet. He grabbed a paintbrush then pulled off the while cotton fabric from over the canvas and exposed a half painted sketch of Ritsuka on a lively sunny background. It was uncanny, the painting looked almost alive and looked exactly like Ritsuka. Soubi pulled a picture of Ritsuka from his pocket and sat it on the dresser beside the canvas and started dipping his brush into a various mixture of paints and applied it to the canvas. He was hoping he could finish it for Ritsuka's birthday, the boy might actually be pleased.

After a few hours of mixing paints and adding colour to the canvas, Soubi finally took a break and sat on his sofa to admire his work. It wasn't nearly done yet, there was still a lot of adding and colouring to do to the painting. Soubi sighed. If he kept this work up like this every day, he would be done in no more than three days. But he had too many more things to do still. Such as going to work. If he didn't get changed now, he would be late. It was a good thing he didn't have to go to school today, or things would be even harder to manage. In fact, he still had thirteen more days off school. Just like Ritsuka. Soubi pulled the fabric over the canvas again and walked to his drawer to get into his work clothes.

He worked in a bar, but not because he liked it, gods no. But because he had no choice, he was never available during the day and didn't sleep that much at night either. He was used to it by the time. Some people just didn't need as much rest as others. When he reached the bar, Soubi walked in and made it known to the boss that he was in and walked behind the bar to get ready to serve drinks. Some people were still in the bar, drunk or getting there. He didn't know their stories, why they were there and why they were getting drunk at barely six in the afternoon. The customers usually poured in at nine or ten thirty and it was empty by two in the morning. The only reason why Soubi was there early was because he needed to get the drinks ready and make sure that there were enough clean glasses for the night, he usually left for two in the morning.

Ritsuka Had been home for hours already, he watched some TV in the living room, but wasn't paying much attention to it. He had called for a pizza around six thirty and now it was almost eight. His eyes lazily travelled to the clock on the wall then to the unopened box of pizza. Looks like i'm not hungry after all... Then he dropped his eyes to his hands, where his fateful cell phone lay silent. Which was what was bothering him. Soubi usually calls him in the morning and nags him at night, but he hadn't heard from him during the entire day. Did I hurt his feelings that much? Ritsuka was never sure as to what Soubi was feeling, he nearly never spoke to him at all. He simply asked how his day went or brought him to various parts of japan to fight other fighters.

Ever since that night when Ritsuka asked him if he would kill him if he so ordered, Soubi has been less reckless with him. He still didn't answer his questions concerning Seimei and had mostly refrained from touching him, let alone kiss him. Actually, come to think of it, yesterday was the first time Soubi had ever kissed him in two years. Normally, he would say I love you, Ritsuka, or hold his hand in the street, but he had stopped kissing or generally touching him in any sensual way. At first, Ritsuka was on his guard, expecting a surprise attack, then he got worried. Maybe Soubi was sick? Or maybe he thought he was disgusting after all. Though that couldn't be right, he was always near, always paying attention to him. He had become a good friend to Ritsuka.

He remembered that night when he decided to give in and let Soubi pierce his ears. It had stung a little bit and Ritsuka had clenched his teeth to keep from moving too much. Afterwards, Soubi had licked at the abused flesh and gave a small kiss on each ear. That was the only time Soubi had be like his old self, and that was only a few months ago, before his mother died. Ritsuka sighed. He was at a loss, he didn't know what to make of his life and of things around him. Yuiko was surely mad at him for whatever reason she was crying the day before.

He touched his lips. He could still remember the feeling of Soubi's lips pressed firmly into his. Was he trying to tell him something? He had almost given in to the warm feeling. He never felt anything like that before. He had no idea what to make of the heat that kept rushing to his loins whenever he recalled what had happened. Maybe if he had stayed longer kissing Soubi, he would've came. Ritsuka shook his head violently. No! This is wrong! But try as he might, he couldn't bring himself to hate the older man, or to even feel repulsed by his constant advances and absurd actions. In fact, He thought. I think I sorta like it... He sighed for the upteenth time and rested his head back on the sofa.

"What's happening to me?" As if that was what put the world into motion, Ritsuka's phone rang. He jumped and looked around the room as if there was someone there watching him. He spotted his black cordless phone on the table besides the pizza and reached out for it. He quickly jumped for it as it was at it's third ring. Ritsuka pressed the -talk- button and answered. "Moshi-Moshi?"

He stood there, the phone next to his human ear, his face turning pale and his eyes turning into small slits. His hand gripped the phone tighter, almost to a braking point. After a few more seconds, Ritsuka dropped the phone and ran upstairs to his room. He threw the door close and all one could hear were ear-splitting sobs and screams and thrashing. Tonight, Ritsuka had a dreamless slumber.

-Yuya-Sama