Summary: Yachiru doesn't want to sleep – Yumichika and Ikkaku have to find a solution...

Disclaimer: Well, everybody knows it's not ours. We only put the words in this order. The characters belong to Kubo Tite and the song belongs to the German band "Die Ärzte". And unfortunately, we don't make money with this…

Rating: G

Genre: Humor

Characters: Kusajishi Yachiru, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Madarame Ikkaku

A/N: Nachtschatten: WE NEED HELP!
Berendis: Yes! We desperately need a beta-reader! Because I'm sure I made an awful lot of mistakes when I translated this from German to English...
Nachtschatten: Er, well. I thought of a psychiatrist as I spoke of help. :grins:
Berendis: You did? ... We may as well need a psychiatrist, but the beta-reader is first priority. Definitely.
Nachtschatten: You're absolutely right. So... any volunteers?
Berendis: We really would be grateful. Because, you know, we're just two little, German speaking girls that are still learning English. Maybe we shouldn't have tried to translate our fanfiction in the first place, but well... there's a first time for everything, right?
Nachtschatten: Anyways, enjoy the fanfiction. ;)

Don't think, write!
Oneshot #001: A Lullaby for Yachiru

Ayasegawa Yumichika and Madarame Ikkaku were despairing. Captain Kenpachi had told them to look after Yachiru and untill now the lieutenant had made them invent a story which had to include a lot of corpses and blood, and they had to bake a cake with her which was so horrible that even the greedy lieutenant of the second division, Oomaeda Marechiyo, wouldn't have eaten it. Midnight had long passed by, captain Zaraki still wasn't back, Yachiru was as awake as ever and Yumichika and Ikkaku were just exhausted.

At the moment, Yachiru was painting funny patterns on Ikkaku's head. Yumichika would have found it quite amusing if he hadn't been her target before – he still hadn't managed to wash the ink off his beautiful face!

„Yumi, do something!", Ikkaku whined, trying to get Yachiru off his head. When he didn't succeed, he grabbed her brush and put it away. Pouting, Yachiru began chewing on Ikkaku's head.

"Ouch! Yachiru! Stop it, you damn brat!"

Yachiru giggled past Ikkaku's hairless skull, but didn't make a move.

"How about you go to sleep now? We'll sing you a lullaby if you do", Yumichika tried to convince his lieutenant. Yachiru looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Okay, but if there isn't enough blood in it, I'll tell Ken-chan you didn't treat me well!", she said, snickering. Yumichika swallowed at the thought of a mad Zaraki. If Yachiru really told him that Yumichika and Ikkaku didn't take care of Yachiru well, they would be history. In the best case, he would be able to keep his beautiful face from getting ugly scars, but in the worst case…

Yachiru got off Ikkaku's head. He rubbed his skull, sighing relievedly, but then he glanced suspiciously at Yumichika. "From where will you take a lullaby that will satisfy Yachiru?"

"Do you remember when we were at this bar in Rukongai a few days ago?"

"Bar… Rukongai… could be. And?"

"There was this drunk, singing a song. If I'm not mistaken, you sang along with him", Yumichika said. Ikkaku stared into space for a while.

"I think I remember", he mumbled. "Maybe that will really shut her up."

"Do you still know the words?"

"I think so."

"Okay, then we'll get her to sleep now", grinned Yumichika.

Yachiru went ahead to her room, already slipping under her – naturally – blood red sheets. She waited eagerly for the song. Yumichika and Ikkaku thought of the text again, then they began.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now, the night is looking through your window."

"That's boring!", Yachiru interrupted. Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "It'll get better."

"The round moon likes you very much, the stars are shining for you."

"How can I sleep if the stars are shining? It's too bright!"

"Be quiet and listen", Ikkaku grumbled. "I told you it'll get better."

"Sleep, little one, sleep sweetly. Soon, you are in paradise."

"But I don't want to go there!", Yachiru protested. "I want to stay with Ken-chan!"

"No one says you have to go away from captain Zaraki", Yumichika calmed her. "It's only a song."

"Soon, the door will open, and a monster will come to you."

"What kind of monster? A hollow?"

"Yes, a hollow", Yumichika sighed. "A very big, horrible hollow."

"Pah! I'll finish it off easily."

"With its eleven eyes it looks at you and sneaks to your bed."

"What a stupid song!" Yachiru shook her head. "Hollows don't sneak. They always are very noisy."

"Well, that's a special hollow", Ikkaku explained. Yachiru looked at him unbelievingly, but didn't say anything else.

"You lie still, don't move. The monster scratches over your face."

"Like I would let it do that!", Yachiru yelled. "I would finish it off befor it could even growl once!"

"Er…", Ikkaku looked helplessly at Yumichika. "Someone used Kidou on you, so you can't move anymore", the other explained.

"What? Who?", Yachiru asked, her eyes wide with exitement.

"Well… someone… a traitor. Ichimaru."

"Its fingers are long and thin, don't struggle, it's not worth it."

Surprisingly, Yachiru kept quiet this time. Thoughtfully, she stared at Yumichika's eyebrows. Right before the two of them wanted to sing the next line, she asked a question. "Why would the fox face use Kidou on me?"

Ikkaku rolled his eyes and Yumichika torn his hear if it wouldn't have destroyed his beautiful hairdo. "Because he's evil, that's why", he said briskly.

"But…", Yachiru began, but Ikkaku interrupted her by singing the next line as loud as he could.

"And it giggles like crazy as it chokes you."

"Are you sure the monster isn't Ichimaru himself?", Yachiru asked. Ikkaku shook his head. "It isn't. The coward sent a hollow."

"You scream, but you are alone at home. The monster puts out your eyes."

"What? Ken-chan isn't there? And you two neither?", Yachiru asked, shocked. "But you two surely had to look after me! And then you went to get drunk, leaving me all alone!"

"We wouldn't do that", Yumichika ensured her."Well, at least I wouldn't." Ikkaku glared at him but didn't say anything.

"Then, you are silent and that's good. It bites your neck and drinks your blood."

"Oh", Yachiru said, her eyes shining strangely. "The hollow likes blood?" The two of them nodded, while Yumichika looked at Ikkaku in a "I knew it would work" manner.

"Without blood you're as white as chalk. Then it eats your bowels."

"And who's going to clean up afterwards?"

"Yumichika", Ikkaku said quickly. The said glared at him and Yachiru giggled.

"Your little bed is red of blood, the sun rises and you are dead."

"The hollow needs that much time to eat me?"

"You went to bed very late", Yumichika explained. "Like always", Ikkaku mumbled.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now. In the sky the stars are shining."

"They are still there? I thought it was morning", Yachiru said, confused. Ikkaku shrugged. "They're just there", he said. "It isn't that important."

"But that's completely…" "Shut up and listen!"

"Sleep, little one, sleep quickly. Your bed is a round-about."

"Really? My bed's a round-about? How do I turn it on?", Yachiru asked exitedly. "We don't know", Yumichika said, but she didn't hear him because she looked for something to switch the round-about on.

"Hey, baldy, help me!", she shouted and pulled on Ikkaku's leg. He looked at Yumichika with a glare that promised a painful death.

"Sleep, my child, sleep now, otherwise the monster won't come in", Yumichika hastily finished the song.

Yachiru immediately stopped her search and looked at Yumichika with big eyes.

"Really? If I don't sleep, the monster won't come?"

"Exactly", Ikkaku said. Yachiru thought for a moment, then she got back in her bed.

"Okay, get out now!", she said. Yumichika and Ikkaku did so very quickly, glad that she was finally going to sleep.

The next morning, Yachiru ran to the yard where Ikkaku and Yumichika usually spent their mornings. She looked very angry.

"The monster didn't come!"

Yumichika and Ikkaku looked at each other confusedly, untill they realized what she was talking about.

"Well, er…", Ikkaku tried, but didn't find an explanation. "Maybe it was too afraid of you to come", Yumichika helped. Ikkaku nodded.

Yachiru looked at them critically. "What a pity", she finally said. "I really would have liked to talk with it a little."

The End

A/N: Berendis: We hope you enjoyed reading this little piece of writing. And we're still looking for a beta-reader, so if you have the time and patience to show us all of our mistakes... please write us!
Nachtschatten: We beg of you :puppy eyes: