Disclaimer: Bite me...

Summary: Ritsuka asks a lot of questions about his life so far. Both he and Soubi reminice about how they met and what is going to happen to them now. Read and review.

Warning: Strong suggestive matter, prossible lemons. YAOI/SHOUNEN-AI! Adult on adolescent subject matter.

Recommandation: Do not read if you do not like what the warning says. I will not tolerate any flaming if you don't like what you read, you will be reported emmediatly. (If the flame is about the couple or content of which you have been warned of.)

A/N: There is something wrong with me...three chapters in not even a full day! Christ... Mild Lime warning for this chapter. Enjoy!
Because of you

Chapter Third: Heartless

Ritsuka stood beisde Soubi, both dressed in black suits and watching as a cherry wood coffin littered with flowers was being lowered into a grave. Ritsuka's face was pale and he had bags under his eyes, tears stained his face and his hair looked like a mess. He had tried to comb it earlier, but he just wanted to give up and die. It was his fault that he was here, the day before his birthday. It was his fault that she was no longer able to visit him on that day either and watch animes and eat candy with him all day long as Soubi watched over them. After all the friends and relatives had gone, all was left was Soubi and Ritsuka, staring at the tombstone and the buldge of soil on the ground. The insigna read.

"Here lies Hawatari Yuiko, beloved daughter and friend. 1994-2006"

Rain started pouring as Ritsuka started crying once more. He threw a rose at the grave and turned around to run. "Ritsuka!" Soubi called after him and started pursuing the young boy. He caught up to him and brought him to his chest tightly, both falling to the ground. Ritsuka's shoulders shook violently as Soubi whispered his name and drew soothing circles on his back, feeling the boy's tight grip on the front of his clothes. "shh, shh"

Yuiko commited suicide five days ago, the phone call was from her mother. She found her on her bed with her wrists cut open and her face pale and tear-stricken. She wrote -Farewel Ritsuka- on the wall with her blood and brought her body into a fetal position. There were pictures of her and Ritsuka littering the floor, most of them had blood splattered on them. Her blinds wre tightly shut and her door had a chair holding it close. There were small dropplets of blood on her bedside table where the rasor she used lay. Her room was a mess, with destroyed pictures of Ritsuka and various broken items, most being things he had given her. But among the mess, there was a teddy bear with a tag that had his name on it and a letter attached that said Happy Birthday Ritsuka.

Yuiko's mother had given him these items and Ritsuka hadn't dared to open the envelope, he had put the teddy beside his computer screen as an eternal reminder of his mistake. "She died Soubi" Ritsuka murmured between sobs. "It's all my fault." Soubi looked at the boy's head and rested his chin upon it while silently rocking him. They hadn't talked much for the last five days. Soubi had tried to communicate with Ritsuka for three days until he got tired of trying and decided to just visit his poor sacrifice.

Soubi had entered through the window in Ritsuka's room, not only because he liked getting a rise out of him when he did that but because it was the only room in the house that had the lights on from what he could see outside. When he came in, he was met with a terrible scene. The room was completely thrashed, the boy lay in a fetal position in the middle of it all, crying for his life's worth. Each and every sob his sacrifice emitted made him feel like there was a nail being pounded inside his heart. The boy was crushed, his face was beyond white and his face was tear-stained, various scrapes were all over his body and his voice had obviously given out from screaming so much.

What could bring a boy to this state of hysteria? Soubi fell to his knees in front of the frail body sobbing on the floor. He softly called out to the boy, but it seemed as if he couldn't hear him at all, like he shut himself from the world around. Soubi looked around him and noticed that Ritsuka's cell phone was on the desk and saw that it was flashing from all the calls and messages he had sent him over the last three days. Soubi grabbed Ritsuka and carried him bridal style to the bathroom. He needed to get cleaned up. After he had taken all of his clothes off, he sat him on the floor and propped him on the bath's rim. He then went downstairs to look for towels since there were no more fresh ones left and Ritsuka needed clean clothes also. Soubi noticed that there was a message on the answering machine and decided to listen to it, maybe it would tell him what was happening.

"Ritsuka? You're not home? Uhm - I thought you'd like to know when Yuiko's -sob- funeral was...I-I tried to talk to your social adviser but she said she hadn't talked to you in almost a month." There was a pause where Soubi could hear the women sob and sniff for a moment. "Yuiko would've liked you to -sob- come. It's two days from now -sob- Wednesday." There was another pause as the woman, obviously Yuiko's mother, was blowing her nose and trying hard not to hiccup and sob too much. "I hope we'll get to see you Ritsuka...I -hiccup, sob- It would make me feel better..." And then he heard a click, signaling she had hung up.

Yuiko died? How? Why? Now Soubi was worried, he felt a little pang of sadness to know that the lively girl that was obviously in love with his Ritsuka had died. Maybe when Ritsuka feels better he'll tell me... He heard a crash and quickly went upstairs, towel in hand. "Ritsuka!" He saw his sacrifice on the floor in a tight ball, surrounded by all the cleaning items that were stored beside the sink. Soubi dropped the towel on the counter and propped Ritsuka back up on bath and started the water for a shower. Every time he would let go of the boy he would throw himself to the floor to wrap his body within himself and after a while, Soubi sighed and undressed.

He picked him up and brought him in the bath with him and made him stand under the water. He got the soap and started lathering some shampoo in Ritsuka's hair then made him rince. All the while, he would not respond, his eyes empty and his lips forming words that would not sound. After a while, Soubi finally got what he was trying to say. "It's all my fault"

That was two days ago. Ritsuka had become a souless body. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep and wouldn't talk. Soubi had tried many things, tried to talk to him, tried to force him into eating or sleeping but nothing worked. He knew he blamed himself for everyone's death, his mother, father, brother and now, Yuiko's. In truth, it wasn't his fault. But he was a grieving child. Soubi picked Ritsuka up bridal style and brought him to his appartment, he needed a change of scene. Soubi layed Ritsuka across his bed and turned to leave but felt the boy grab onto his sleeve.

"S-Stay with me...please Sou - bi..." His voice was coarse and but a whisper but Soubi heard him and sat on the edge of the bed beside him. It was like that time when Soubi was hurt and Ritsuka was brought here, except this time, Ritsuka was the one that needed the help and support. He heard the sacrifice's small whiper and leaned closer to hear him. "T-take my ears away S-Soubi..." He trailed off and Soubi saw the small blush deepening on his face. He knew what was to do to take the ears away and he wasn't about to do it. Not in that state.

"No. You are not well." He answered back and stood. Soubi walked across the small room and was about to enter the kitchen when Ritsuka bolted upright in bed and angrily shouted at him, or tried to. It sounded more like a high pitched scream.

"What! Are you so disgusted with me that you wouldn't even lay with me Soubi! Turn around and face me! Soubi!" Tears fell down his face, this time out of heartbrake. Soubi slowly turned around and looked at the adolescent sit in his bed and clenching at the covers beside him. He noticed that he was violently trembling also, from the force of his sudden anger.

"I love you, Ritsuka." Was all he said before he turned and went into the kitchen to get some water and sleeping pills.

"...liar" Was the only small whisper that Ritsuka uttered in return.

That one simple word made Soubi stop in his track as he felt very hurt, his heart cracking. He looked sadly at the bottle in his hand and took two pills out of it then moved to the sink and filled a glass with water. He walked back to the bed where Ritsuka was still trembling and crying.

"Here, take this and drink the entire glass of water." Ritsuka slapped Soubi's outstretched hand, making the pills fly and hit the wall. Soubi sighed, picked up the tablets and put everything on the bedside table. "Ritsuka - "

"Leave me alone Soubi! You constantly lie to me! Why do you do these things to me?" Soubi's heart was being crushed little by little as he listened to what he was saying. "Stop using me!"

"I'm not using you, Ritsuka. You have nothing to offer, what can I take from you?" Was his whispered reply.

"My ears! Take them! If you love me, why don't you just say yes and take them?" Soubi looked up at him.

"Is that an order?"

"Yes!" Ritsuka looked him straight in the eyes then, his fists clenching harder in the covers. He no longer cried and his voice had cleared for the most part, making him sound a little more normal. Soubi leaned over and kissed Ritsuka on the lips, pushing him on the bed slowly. He watched as his forced his eyes close and tried to respond to the kiss. Soubi's hand trailed under Ritsuka's shirt and started pulling the wet cloth from his body. He hated to do this to him, but he had no other choice. Slowly, He pulled the boy's clothes from his frail body, trailing kisses up and down his neck and to his mouth. The sacrifice stiffened every time Soubi touched his skin and mostly just stayed there. His cheeks were red and he was panting.

Soubi closed his eyes and tried not to let the tears he felt fall. He doesn't truly want this... He thought. He kissed Ritsuka, pouring all he felt within the kiss he gave him. After a few moments, Ritsuka fell limp to the bed, his eyes closed and his face peaceful. Soubi felt one lone tear slide across his cheek as he looked over the boy's sleeping form. While Ritsuka wasn't looking, Soubi had taken the tablets and slipped them past his lips and into his throat with his tongue. He didn't want to force Ritsuka into anything he didn't want to do, especially when he was asking for something he would regret losing later. Soubi finished removing Ritsuka's clothes and took his off also. He then slipped into bed beside him, cupping his body with his and fell asleep not long afterwards.

Ritsuka, you are so heartless... Was Soubi's last thought.

-Yuya-Sama