Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
All right, my name is Katie and I am taking over OldNicks story, I hope this is all right with you all. I am a fan of this story, and I hope I can do this Justice. THANK YOU OLDNICK for giving me this chance to write the remaining chapters. Nothing will change much in the story... Hopefully. :Hears fans of Story: OF COURSE this is STILL an H/HR story! Anything else is JUST WRONG! All right, Feedback is welcomed. Thank you. ON WITH THE STORY!
Up until ROTGL is Old Nicks writing.
AN/ From OldNick: I thought about ignoring the Weasley's for the most part, especially Ron and Ginny, but I sucked it up and realized that I have become too biased against the fandom version of Ginevra and Ron so I am making an effort to do those character right (notice I said 'effort'). I still don't like Ron, but I will try refrain from doing any Ron-Bashing.
Chapter 15:
Tapping him on his shoulder to get his attention, she pointed to a frosting-splattered banner (some poor, innocent cake had been hit during the little skirmish) that hung over the kitchen table that clearly stated HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY HARRY!
Harry looked around the room cautiously, hand still extended despite his lack of a wand. He almost found it amusing as he watched people flinch as his gaze passed over them (it had become somewhat common knowledge that Harry had some skill doing magic without a wand), except for Hermione. She merely sent him a look that clearly said 'don't you dare. 'Probably still bitter about that whole stunning thing from a few days ago' he thought idly as he continued to look for threats. After he was sure that everything was safe (and after he got to see everyone flinch, which gave him a sort of sadistic pleasure), he relaxed. The entire room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
"So," Harry said casually as he holstered his wand after Albus had given it back to him, acting as if nothing had happened. "Whose idea was this? Honestly, I would have expected you people to be a lot smarter than that, all things considered."
"Well, I told them it was a terrible idea," Hermione said, looking immensely proud of herself, which Harry found to be amusing especially with how it contrasted with the sheepish looks on everyone else's faces.
"Kudos to Hermione then. I don't suppose a simple reparo can fix that?" he said, pointing to the blasted cake.
"Almost Harry," Albus spoke up, pulling out his wand. 'libumo reparo!' Amazingly, frosting and cake matter seemed to fly from everywhere in the room and re-congeal into a cake again. The room was silent as people looked between the Cake and Dumbledore. "Most powerful wizard indeed," Harry muttered ruefully, examining the now perfect cake. It took a few more spells to completely clean up the room, but after that, the party got underway.
Harry was quite surprised to find that he actually enjoyed the party, despite his hostility to the idea of people giving him excessive attention. While it had always been the highlight of his summer to receive packages from his friends on his birthday, he soon found it was even better to have his friends there in person. However, this is not to say that the gifts were not enjoyable as well.
Ginny and Ron had gotten together to give him a gift, which turned out to be a new knife like the one Sirius had given him, thought the quality was not as good. When asked how he got it, Ron merely said that Charlie knew someone who knew someone else who could get them cheap. He didn't elaborate any more and Harry didn't ask. Remus had given him wand polish and a book on famous and historical duels. From Hermione he got a book on translation spells, though Harry thought she didn't look entirely pleased with the gift, though he couldn't be sure, given her tendency to worry about everything.
He got a variety of odds and ends from various acquaintances, though a majority of his gifts were books on some form of defense. Otherwise, everyone seemed to have a good time and the celebration went well into the night.
Eventually everyone dispersed. Harry hung around a bit, bidding everyone goodnight before he himself decided to head back up to his room.
"Harry," Albus called out to Harry as he headed for the kitchen door. "Before you retire for the night, I have something I must discuss with you."
"Sure sir, what is it?"
"Not here," the elderly man said quietly. "Follow me." Harry nodded in agreement and followed Albus out of the kitchen. As soon as they reached the library, Dumbledore swished his wand around while muttering something before turning his attention to Harry's confused face.
"Security charms Harry. They are perhaps not necessary, but you are aware of what Alastor says, especially with all the people in the building tonight." Harry just nodded his head in agreement. "Now Harry, I want you to hear me out and seriously consider what I am about to say. Will you do that?"
"I make no promises sir, but I will try."
"Thank you my boy. Now, I have taken the liberty and have arranged for someone to tutor you in the Dark Arts. While I hesitate to immerse you in such magic's further than you have already done so yourself, I truly believe that, by working with someone who has had more experience with these spells, you will be able to more fully appreciate the power of these spells and thus, hopefully, be less inclined to possibly abuse them in the future. I myself have been required to use some less than savory spells in the past and I feel that if I had not had a mentor when I did, I fear I may have become dark."
" I suppose you have a point Albus, but why bring this up now? Why not wait until I begin my lessons with you in a couple of weeks?"
"Well Harry, it was a request from the instructor himself. He said there were a few things he needed to clear up with you before he began."
"I… see," Harry responded, not really seeing but not sure what else to say. "Um, do I know this instructor?"
"Indeed you do Harry. I have asked Professor Snape to instruct you."
"Snape? Are you serious Headmaster? I distinctly recall our lessons last year ending in failure. How do you expect it to be different? And furthermore, why Snape of all people? Surely you could teach me!"
"First of all Harry, I have already discussed this with Severus and he has agreed to try and be more civil as long as you put out the effort as well. Now," he said quickly, "I understand Severus has been the antagonist much of the time, but I believe that if you both can maintain a level head, you may find that you can be productive collaborators."
"Are you saying you actually want me to become friends with that gi… I mean man? You can't be serious sir!"
"Did I say friends, Harry? No, no, I merely think that you two could be excellent co-workers. I fully expect the two of you to continue with your little hatreds, but I also expect you two to learn to work with each other. Oh, and as for your other questions, I could teach you, but both yours and my time is limited and I feel it would be better served focusing on other topics than the dark arts. And as to why it should then be Severus who will instruct you, well, I am quite sure that the other professors are not very proficient in the Dark Arts. Besides, Severus can teach you what you need to know about the Death Eaters, their strategies, and even how to use potions effectively in a conflict."
"I suppose you have a point," Harry conceded, though he was still eyeing the headmaster cautiously. "When do you want me to start working with him?" Surprisingly, the Headmaster's face fell a little.
"Well Harry, the thing, he wants to talk to you before he agrees to help you. Since he is here tonight, I thought that perhaps you might wish to get this over with."
"He's here, now? Well that is a surprise. Though, I suppose that would probably be for the best to get this out of the way now. Where is he?"
"Severus is in the sitting room right now. I told him I was going to talk to you before you met with him, so he is expecting you." Harry merely nodded and after Albus canceled the security spells, walked out of the library to find Snape.
Harry stepped into the sitting room, finding Snape standing on the far side of the room, inspecting one of the old paintings that still adorned the wall. Clearing his mind of all emotions, Harry cleared his throat. The older man turned around, a sneer on his face.
"Well Potter, I suppose the Headmaster informed you why I wished to talk to you?"
"Yes Mr. Snape, he did." Harry had kept his voice neutral, not wanting to be the one to start what he perceived to be an inevitable confrontation.
"Mr. Snape?" the other man replied, quirking an eyebrow. "Well Potter, it would appear you do have some manners after all, quite a surprise. However, this is not the time to discuss your lack of civility. What I want to know from you is why I should give to you any more of my time than I already have?"
"Because Albus thinks it is a good idea, sir," he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"That is not what I asked Potter! I want to know why you think I should teach you."
"First of all, it was not my idea to bring this up today. And as much as I despise you, Albus may well have a point in making his request. Considering your position as a former Death Eater, your experience with the Dark Arts, and potions, you are one of the most qualified person to help me prepare."
"I see," Snape replied calmly. "And why is there no one else 'qualified' enough?" the greasy man sneered. "I'm sure Lupin would jump at the chance to instruct you."
"Well, you probably know more about the Dark Arts that Professor Lupin, you are a potions master, and you also probably know more about the inner working of Volde…"Seeing the anger on Snape's face quickly reminded Harry about how the Potions Master hated people using the word 'Voldemort, "the Dark Lord's group."
"Valid points Mr. Potter," Snape replied, his dark eyes scrutinizing Harry. "However, I must ask, why come to me now? Why not try and cooperate with me earlier?" Harry rolled his eyes. 'Did I just not say that it was Albus's idea to do this today?'
"Well," Harry said out loud, "after the incident at the Ministry, Albus informed me of the prophecy and…"
"That's enough Potter. I have made my decision."
"Oh," Harry said, perplexed. "And what is your decision, sir?"
"I have decided that I will not be instructing you as Albus requested. Have a good evening Mr. Potter." Harry was more than a bit startled but also quite angry. Snape had called him in for what? So he could ask some inane questions as an excuse to refuse to help him?
Harry quickly took some calming breaths, realizing that he was on his way to acting rashly, something he had promised himself he would try no to do. He did not want to suffer a lecture from both Dumbledore and Hermione for being the first to loose his temper. Damn it though, he did not request this! He was tired of being brushed off by the greasy bat. He was going to explain himself and he was going to do it now! He turned around and faced Snape, who had walked past him and towards the door.
"Mr. Snape!" Harry commanded.
"What Potter?" Severus responded irritably.
"Why not?" Snape considered Harry for a moment, as if judging him.
"You want my full answer Potter?"
"Yes."
"Fine, but you are going to listen, not interrupt, and I don't want you to hear about you whining to the Headmaster about how 'unfair' I'm being." Harry inclined his head slightly in agreement. "Good. The simple explanation, Potter, is that I don't see the point in wasting my time in some futile endeavor trying to an inept child something that they are incapable of learning."
Now, Harry had sort of promised he would stay calm, but here the man was insulting him, so he felt he had to defend himself.
"Excuse me Mr. Snape, but how am I 'incapable' of learning what you have to teach?"
"Simple Potter. Experience. Ignoring the failed Occlumency lessons last year, which I now know were doomed from the beginning, you have consistently proven yourself inept when it comes to tackling any sort of large, complex situation." Seeing Harry's blank look, he elaborated. "Potter, the only time you have devoted yourself to your studies was if it involved Quidditch or if it became absolutely necessary."
"I would have to disagree, sir. I feel that, if anything, my efforts over this summer should have demonstrated that I am serious about improving myself!"
"You have hit it on the head, now haven't you Potter?" Snape replied, his trademark sneer firmly in place. "This Summer, not last summer, not last year, just recently after the Headmaster informed you of some silly prophecy. If you had half a mind Potter, you would have realized after your second year and the situation with the Chamber that you and the Dark Lord's fate were intertwined. But you didn't, did you?"
"Well, it was sort of assumed, but I figured that the Headmaster would be able to take care of it, he being the greatest wizard in the world and all that nonsense." Even as the words left his mouth, Harry thought his excuse sounded a little thin.
"Then it is even worse!" Snape snarled out. "You knew your life was in danger, possibly even the lives of those around you and you did what? Ride your silly broom, slack of in class, waste your time with some ridiculous feud with Mr. Malfoy. And the Headmaster? I have enormous respect for the man, but did you expect him to deal with the situation like he dealt with Quirrel or Lockhart?"
'Ok,' Harry thought candidly, 'he may have a point about that. Doesn't mean he's in the clear though.'
"What you should have been doing was studying hard and preparing for the inevitable conflict between you and the Dark Lord," Severus continued. "Even an idiot would have realized that, after failing to kill you twice, the Dark Lord would come after you again, if only to prove he was the stronger! Even after his revival, when fate seemed to be shoving your destiny in your face, you did nothing but sit around and pout. If it takes the death of your Godfather and the revealing of some prophecy for you to actually do something productive, than I tremble to think of who else must die before you can prepare yourself sufficiently for your task."
Harry just stared at the man, at a loss for words. Really, how does someone respond to those types of accusations? As much as he reminded himself that Snape was an expert at attacking student's sense of self-worth, some of his words did strike true. The excuse 'sorry, I just wanted to be normal' doesn't really work, now does it? Well, he should probably say something.
"Surely Mr. Snape, the past being what it is, can you not give me another chance?" 'Great job Potter,' Harry thought sardonically, 'really great way to sound mature, begging for a second chance.'
"I'm afraid not Potter. I don't think you are capable. I do not wish to waste my time like last year teaching someone who does not want to learn."
"That was different!" he replied angrily. "You did a horrible job of teaching; you didn't help me at all!"
"And whose fault is that?" Snape retorted. "In the real world Potter, you have to deal with people you don't like and who don't like you. You came into those lessons not willing to allow yourself to be taught and afterwards, you didn't follow through with practicing. You should have set aside your dislike for me and learned what you were there to learn."
"And why should I have? For all I knew, the visions were helpful! I didn't know crap about 'mental connections' or 'false images' or any of that stuff, much less on how to 'clear my mind,' as you so un-eloquently put it. What was I supposed to think when I am told I need to spend time with you, of all people, without anybody bothering to explain what the point was?" Surprisingly, Snape wasn't scowling at him, but was gazing at him intently.
"An interesting perspective Potter, but it doesn't change the fact that you have consistently failed to take the initiative before hand. While I am aware of some of the mistakes the Headmaster has made, would it have been too difficult for you to have listened to him and trusted his judgment just that once? I'm sure if you requested it, Granger or perhaps Lupin may have found a way to help you. At the worst, you foolish boy, you would have learned to protect your mind, not a completely useless skill, no matter what the circumstance," the potions master shook his head, sighing before continuing. "Whatever you have done over this summer, Potter, is something you should have started years ago. As I stated earlier, I simply do not have the time to waste on you." With that said, he turned on his heel, robe billowing behind him, and headed back to the door.
"Mr. Snape, wait!" Harry demanded. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. He definitely couldn't let his friends know. But, it had to be done.
"What more do you want Potter?" Snape replied, not looking back. " I have already given you my answer."
"I have a proposal for you, if you are willing to listen"
"I do not have time for this Potter!" he yelled, twirling around to face Harry. "I have given you my answer! That is all!"
"Are you sure, sir?"
"Yes Potter, I am quite sure. Now don't bother me." As Snape was walking out of the room, Harry spoke up again.
"You know Snape," Harry said idly, casually looking around the room. "it is a pity you failed in your teachings of Occlumency. Just think, if the Dark Lord every broke into my mind, he would learn all sorts of interesting facts, such as, oh, I don't know, the loyalties of the Hogwarts potions master." Harry inwardly smirked as the other man stopped dead in his tracks. "Of course, with proper training, such accidents can be averted. Otherwise, well, who knows?" Snape turned around and quicker than Harry thought possible, was standing nose to nose with him.
"You do that Potter," he growled quietly, "and not only will the Headmaster be informed of your treachery, but I will make sure you die with me. As it is, I should punish you for even threatening such a thing!"
"The problem is, Severus, is that I have quite a bit of experience getting away from the Dark Lord. You, on the other hand, have experience kissing the hem of his robes. You are nothing and if you think you will take me down with you, and then you are even more delusional that I first thought. And as for 'punishing' me, you do know that a person's mental defenses are weakest under stress and pain." Harry left the implied threat of leaking info to Voldemort unspoken.
"Why Potter? What do you hope to gain from this?"
"Control Snape. I am sick of you and your twisted little mind games. For far too long have you gotten your jollies off of terrifying and insulting students. Turnabout is fair play, if you ask me. Go ahead, cry to Dumbledore," Harry said calmly, seeing a spark of defiance in the other man's eyes. "By the time you reach his office, Voldemort will know all about you." His lips curled up slightly as he saw Snape twitch at the use of the name 'Voldemort.' Snape backed away and, for the first time Harry could remember, saw defeat in the potion master's eyes.
"Very well Potter, name your terms."
"There, I knew you would see it my way," Harry replied happily. "As for my terms, they are quite simple. You will instruct me in the things Albus requested you to instruct me in. And Occlumency and Legilimency as well. I may have picked up some those skills on my own, but best to be taught d by a master."
"Is that all Potter?" the Snape said, his trademark sneer back in place.
"Hmm, actually, I think I would like to take Potions. NEWT level, of course."
"You are not skilled enough Potter."
"Did I ask for your opinion, Snape," Harry snapped back. "No, I didn't think so. So, do you accept?"
"Very well Potter, but don't expect me to bow at your feet. The conditions are that I will teach you, nothing more."
"And nothing less," Harry added seriously.
"Fine."
"Good. Then it is agreed." Harry stuck out his hand, which Severus looked at disdainfully before shaking. "You know Snape, this all could have been avoided had you listened to your own advice about Albus. After all," Harry said, changing his voice to sound like Snape's, "Would it have been too difficult for you to have listened to him and trusted his judgment just that once?" All Harry received in reply was a sneer as the man twirled around and practically jogged out of the room before 'the boy' could ruin his life any more.
As Harry watched Snape flee the room, he sunk down into one of the chairs that were scattered around the room. 'What have I just done?' he thought dejectedly before also leaving to go to his room. How did his evening end up like this? He hadn't even planned on asking for Snape's assistance, at least not for a while yet, but now he had practically threatened the man's life, and that didn't sit well with Harry at all. It's not like he even wanted to spend time with the man, but something in him wanted to put the git in his place.
Deciding it would be best to get his mind off of what had just taken place, Harry pulled out a large book on various non-lethal, non-dark spells. It took only ten minutes of him attempting to read for him to slam the book shut and shove it across his desk in frustration. He was tired. Tired of reading, tired of studying, and pretty much tired of everything. It didn't help that his conversation with Snape had put a new spin on his view of his own self worth. No, that would be bad wording. After all, it was Snape, of all people, who had said it and thus it should be taken with but a grain of salt. However, some of those comments made had struck a chord in him.
Had he really squandered his time at Hogwarts? Part of him said no, he had spent his time making friends and trying to enjoy life. Unfortunately, another, louder part said yes, he had squandered his time. 'How often had he found himself relying on others to bail him out? Just how many times did Voldemort or those loyal to the bastard need to try and kill him before he started to do something about it?' As is most often the case with a person when they start down the path of self-deprecation, his thoughts continued and became broader. 'Had he not learned to rely solely on himself while at the Dursleys? When had he become so dependent on others? Surely the sorting hat couldn't have been mistaken when it told him he had a 'good mind' and that he should have been in Slytherin.'
'Really, what was wrong with the basic ideals of Slytherin anyway?' he asked himself. 'Ambition? That didn't have to be bad. It is the ambition of power 'just' when one intends to use that power to help people? What about Gryffindor? The students in Slytherin house would say Gryffindor's were foolishly brave, and that may be true, but should it be the norm? Could one not be brave and loyal while being ambitious and cunning? Were these ideals really incompatible with each other? Just look at my friends! Ron is brave yet foolish, Hermione is brave yet clever. Besides, did Hermione not have ambition, even if that ambition was not for self-gain? Did Ron not have ambition in competing with his brothers?' As interesting as this train of thought was, it didn't get him anywhere.
Harry let out a groan of frustration. He was tired of thinking. He had been doing nothing but since he started his little training program all those months ago. He pushed himself away from the desk and started pacing the room, trying to organize his thoughts, but no amount of mental training could help him right now. Soon, the room just wasn't big enough so he headed out and started to wander the house. He wandered aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of an almost vintage Dark Wizard's house, focusing on the environment around him instead of the tumultuous thoughts in his mind. Deciding that somehow he would find a way to 'accidentally' stain the pink carpets something more agreeable; he figured it would be a great place to retire to. Would definitely give the press something to talk about. He shook his head. He really needed to get out of the house more often.
His mind grasped onto that one idea: 'get out of the house.' Harry mulled it over as he headed back to his room. It wasn't as if he wanted to run away, right? He just needed to be alone for a little while, somewhere where he wouldn't be disturbed for a few hours. The more he thought about it, the more he figured it would be a good idea. He even had a place he could go, a place that was synonymous with being alone, especially considering its current state. He got to his room, where he threw open his closet and began grabbing some things to take with him. He stripped off the robe he had borrowed from Hermione earlier that day and canceled the enchantments he had put on it. Donning a plain set of grey robes, he placed his knife in his left boot and holstered his wand. He glanced at his sword but quickly decided to leave it. He didn't plan on getting into a fight and even if he did, he didn't plan on staying around long enough to get hurt. At his desk, he wrote two quick notes, placing one on his bed and pocketing another. He grabbed the robe he had borrowed from Hermione and left his room.
On his way down to the entryway, he stopped by the door to the room Hermione and Ginny were sharing. Ignoring the indiscernible conversation that was taking place behind the door, he folded the borrowed robe and set it down in front of the door, placing the note from his pocket on top of it. With that business done with, he quietly made his way down the stairs and eventually outside. Once he was away from the house, he apparated away to Privet Drive.
ROTGL
Harry walked his way down Privet Drive. The homes where still destroyed, and the lawns burnt. The smell of death and decay where far-gone by now. The ministry took care of that long ago. To many saw for them to memory charm all those muggles. To many witnessed this horrible event to make it all disappear. This was one thing the ministry could not erase. Harry walked up the drive that was once known as Number 4.
The home was nothing but ruins, the home still smelt of burnt wood. Harry walked into the home, where the door once stood was now just a large whole in a destroyed home. Harry scrunched his nose in distaste. Outside may have been ridden of the smell of death and decay, but inside the home in reeked of the men that where killed. Harry walked around the home slowly, still taking the whole scene in.
He was the cause of this.
He scold at himself in a broken mirror that laid on the ground. This wasn't his fault. It was Voldemorts. People where killed and slaughtered because of Voldemort. He may have been the target, but he escaped. He had the power and the will to live. He should not punish himself for that fact. And he won't punish himself for it. The men that died at his hand where murders. They where followers of Harry's greatest enemy. He killed for his life, he killed the men that where going to kill him, he killed to survive.
Harry walked threw the Kitchen and than the living room. Some blood still splattered the walls. Unknown who was killed there, Harry figured this is where Vernon Dursley sat watching TV from where he assumed a death eater had forced his Uncle to go and butcher his own family. Harry thought silently. It is true that nothing but bad has come to the Dursley's because of Magic. And yes, that could be pointed at Harry, for he was the cause of the Magic. So in the end, somebody could point to him and say he was the cause of his family's death. And six months ago, that would be his thoughts. He despised his family, they treated him like he was dirt, he was treated as if he where the scum eating off of the scum that where at the bottom of the ocean. Though they treated him like crap through out his lifetime, they where still his family. He felt a small bit of remorse towards them. They did die because he was the "chosen one", they died because Voldemort picked Harry as his equal. But in the end, Harry didn't chose his destiny, it chose him. He didn't ask to be equal to Voldemort. And he didn't ask for all of his family to be killed. He never asked for any of it. So, what should he have done? Just taken it? Let those who he loves, those who love him, die? Let himself be killed? Be weak? Harry physical shook his head to his thoughts. "I may have not chosen this life, but that doesn't mean I haven't chosen my future." He picked up a broken picture of the Dursley's family; "I may not have liked you, but you where my only family left. You took me in when you didn't have to. And I, in a way, owe you my life. I will not let you die in vain. You or anybody else that has died for my lack of judgment or for any other lack I have given, or on my behalf." He repaired the picture and placed it on the mantel above the still boarded up fireplace.
Harry walked from the front room up the stairs, careful to not step on any fragile steps. He did not care to fall threw the stairs into the cupboard where he once spent his nights as a young child.
Here to, the blood still colored the walls. He walked to Dudley's room and looked in. The door was blown from the hinges, and the room was ransacked. Harry glace around the room. Nothing of real importance was left. Dudley's things had been taken from the home after they found that he was still alive. Harry walked in Dudley's room and checked the closet. No cloths where left hanging. No pictures where left in the room, nor any sign that someone stilled lived there. Harry sighed lightly as he picked up a pack of cigarettes of Dudley's. "Typical." He walked out of the room and down the hall. His Aunts room was untouched besides the door was missing, and His Aunts room to seemed to be untouched, as the door was hanging from the bottom hinge. Harry walked into his own room that he had once spent his days at the Dursley's in. His room was also unharmed, His things where gone from the room, He knew this fact all ready. Albus had gotten them before the ministry had time to snoop threw Harry Potter's possessions. The smell seemed to strengthen as he noticed the blood that stained the wooden floor.
Harry sat on his old bed and looked around. He came here to be alone. He had assumed he would be since the home was in such a state. He was wrong. Memory's where here. And that is worse than people in his mind. But in the end, he would of had to come back to Privet Drive, if not to be alone, but to remember what he was fighting for. He knew he had to deal with it eventualy, He wanted to be alone, and here, right now. He was.
Harry laid on his old bed and looked at the ceiling. He had no idea what he was going to do here. Usually when people wanted to be alone, wanted time to think, wanted time to understand something. Harry thought too much of life, he thought of things that most students his age could even contemplate, let alone handle on a daily basis. Harry understands far too much. He understands his future. He understands that the war will end in either his death or Voldemorts. He understands that nobody is safe in this world. So why he needs to be alone was a mystery to him. But the calm that had set over him was relaxing, and all most welcoming.
Harry closed his eyes in anticipation to the calmness of being alone but the images of the attack of Privet Drive plagued his mind. He sat bolt up and muttered to himself, "Of course it wouldn't be that easy, or else it wouldn't be my life." He sighed loudly and looked anywhere but his doorframe, where he knew the peace of being alone that he had so hoped for had been faltered.
"I thought you had been okay with what you had done here that night, Harry," The voice spoke moments later with out introduction.
"What are you doing here, Hermione?" Harry asked exasperated with her presence
Hermione stepped into his room hesitantly, he had yet look at her. "I found your note and the robe I had lent you laying in front of my door when I went to get a glass of milk," Hermione stepped around the blood on the floor near the door frame and walked towards Harry's bed and stopped feet from him. "I knew you would be here," She added softly
Harry gave her a disbelieving look; he had known she was lying. 'She didn't know I would be here.' He thought somewhat resentfully
She gave a frustrated growl, "Fine! I didn't know you where here. I have been to over 6 places looking for you." She sighed, "I finally realized you wouldn't go someplace crowded, and I decided to look in the last place where you would be, the place that you despised above all places."
Harry gazed at Hermione for a second; She wore faded jeans and worn trainers. Her hair was in a messy French braid and her traveling cloak was hastily thrown across her shoulders over a rather large green knitted sweater. After better inspection, he noticed was his. Harry looked away once again.
"How did you get here?" He asked looking at the wall adjacent to him.
"What do you mean? I apperated." She asked bewildered, but his question dawned on her and she looked down at her hands, "Oh, after I checked the last place, I looked up Surry on a map. I found a park closest to Privet Drive and apperated. The apperation wards are only so far across the town, I wondered around until I found Privet Drive…" She trailed off.
Harry shook the thoughts of Hermione coming to "rescue" him. He didn't need to be rescued. Who did she think she was just coming after him? The little voice in side his head whispered, "Your best Friend," Harry thought somewhat bitterly he didn't need her to be worried about him.
"Why are you here, Hermione." He asked almost cruelly looking at her once again.
She raised her chin defensively, "I was worried about you." Harry scoffed
"What?" She demanded, "I can't worry about you? Am I not permitted to be concerned about the boy-who-lived? Was I aloud to care for you when you weren't what you are now?" She crossed her arms and turned her head away from her.
In side his head he wished he could have taken what he had said back. Just tell her he didn't mean it. Tell her his thanks for coming after him. But the only thing he could think of was what she had said. "What I am now? What does that mean?" He demanded close to yelling as his temper flared. He stood up. "I change because I had to chance. If I hadn't done what I had done I wouldn't even have a chance in hell fighting Voldemort in a till death battle. I am what I was forced to be by everybody. I am now what people want me to be. I had no choice." All he wanted to be was alone, and it seemed he couldn't have that along with the other many things he so despretly wanted.
Hermione glared at him and spoke in the same volume voice he had. "You are what YOU think you should be!" She yelled accusingly, "Don't blame others when it is all on you."
Harry never wanted to shake a girl before. Never wanted to knock sense in somebody as much as he did now. "I am the "hero", Hermione. I will be the one to face Voldemort in the end. Nobody else wil! I am what I have to be to have any chance at surviving this war. I didn't choose my fate, you know this, but I wasn't just going to let others take control my life and have no say so in my future! I took the precautions that I needed to in order to live!"
Hermione shook her head; "I'm not even talking about your appearance or your power anymore!" She yelled, "If you could do all of that in order to live than GOOD! But they all have consequences, Harry! And what you did had many of them." Harry looked at her bewildered. Hermione went on as if he had asked her a question, "You. You changed, your behavior. You hold everybody away! Sure, you did that before any of this, but I knew you would talk to me if you needed to. I wasn't worried you'd become reclusive. Before all of this, you showed emotions. Angry, happy, sad, and worried, you showed that you actually cared about something! But now, you're like a brick wall. You show no emotion, you act like nothing matters. Like you don't care about ANYTHING!" Hermione stopped and was now breathing heavily trying to calm herself.
Harry wished he could still be angry, yell back at her, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. Thoughts ran threw his mind. "Has she been holding all of this in since the beginning of the summer? How did I not notice?" He asked himself. All he wanted to do was tell her she was wrong, he did care. He wasn't inept of emotions.
Hermione continued on in a low voice, "You don't understand how this feels, Harry. We've been best friends for 5 years. Threw these years I have watched you grow up more than you should have at your age. And then you go through this drastic change over a short period of time. You've become distant, and you're no longer nice. You treat everybody somewhat callously. Like you are annoyed with their presence. I lost my best friend and your standing right in front of me!" Hermione franticly brushed away the tears that where now falling down her cheeks., " I know you couldn't be that boy I had known all those years for ever. But I never thought I would have to deal with this, you sounding so heartless. In my eyes, watching you like this, it is worse than Voldemorts rein to power." Hermione finished turning her back to Harry in order not to let him not see her cry.
Harry blinked, "Heartless?" He asked himself. He wasn't heartless. He had done what he did to live. He did this so his friends could live. But being angry having long passed. All he wanted to do was make Hermione understand.
Harry stepped quietly to Hermione. He reached out to touch her shoulder but stopped himself before he did.
"I was worried Harry. You can't blame me for that. Its Human nature." She said turning around to face him. She was somewhat startled at his close proximity but recovered quickly. She let her tears fall freely down her reddened cheeks. "You're disappearing, Harry. Slowly you're disappearing into the shadows. You don't speak to anybody, not really." Silence fell between them.
"I-" He tried to speak but he failed miserably.
Hermione threw her arms around Harry and buried her hear into his shoulder. Her voice was muffled but still understandable. "I don't want to lose you. I don't know what I will do if I do." She stopped for a second and in a very small voice, "Please don't leave me."
Harry after a second wrapped his around Hermione and laid his cheek against the top of her head. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I promise."
-ROTGL-
When Harry and Hermione got back to Grimmauld place the house was silent and dead. Harry left Hermione at her room and went to his own. He opened his door to his room and shut it silently. He threw off his cloak and shirt and than his shoes. Harry was about to take his pants off when a knock sounded on his door. Frowning he buttoned his pants and opened his door.
"Hello, Albus." Harry said taken aback.
"Harry," He greeted, "May I come in?" He asked
Harry opened his door and ushered him into the room, "Of course."
"I stopped by a bit ago, but I didn't receive an answer." He said his eyes twinkling slightly, "You must have been indisposed?"
"Uh, yes, sorry about that." Harry said nodding his head slightly
"Ah, no need. No need at all." He said waving his hand dismissingly with a smile. "I understand Professor Snape has agreed to teaching you."
"Among other things," Harry muttered
Dumbledore looked over his half moon spectacles with a twinkle in his eye but continued. "I would like to talk with you about our training lessons on the second. I hope this is convenient for you." He said
"Uh, that's fine, Albus." He said complying
"Good, than we shall meet then and there we will discuss some things that we need to discuss." He said pleasantly. "Good night than, Harry." At the door he stopped and looked seriously at Harry, "And Harry, I would prefer it if you didn't leave Headquarters even if you are capable of protecting yourself. Mrs. Granger seems to fancy you enough to go around London looking for you, but Alastor surly does not." Dumbledore gave a small smile and left Harry's room.
Harry shook his head as locked his door. There were many things he would never understand, and one of those were his headmaster. He sighed for the last time and climbed into his bed after changing into his sleepwear.
He thought of his day and his mind strayed to Hermione. If Alastor followed Hermione all around London looking for him than he followed Hermione to Privet Drive. Madeye wasn't in the home and Harry knew this for the fact he didn't detect any magic other than his or Hermiones. Was he out side? If he was, did he see the whole thing with Hermione? After they hugged they didn't really say anything to each other. It was a comfortable silence, but a silence nonetheless. But some how Harry didn't care if Madeye had seen Hermione and him hug, nothing was wrong about friends hugging... He closed his eyes in eagerness of sleep and put all thoughs in the back of his mind and let the darkness fall over him. He never apologized for his behavior, and he never corrected her on her accusations, and never told her how much her coming to look for him had ment to him, and he didn't think he could ever bring himself to do so.
--------------------------------------
All right! HERE IT IS! panics is it okay? Is it good at all? How was it. Ohhhh, If it sucks I'm so sorry. IF YOU WANT TO THROW PROJECTILES AT ME PLEASE RESTRAIN YOUR SELF FROM DOING SO! … :Looks around: Unless they are flowers… but they should be thrown lightly in commend… No vegetables please… Tomatoes are really hard to get out of hair… Please review, I would like to know what you guys think… Any questions you might have… Anything you would like me to add to the story… ANYTHING AT ALL! JUST REVIEW PLEASE! …
I also know this chapter isn't very long and I am sorry. Oldnick had writen alot of it and I wanted you all to have what he wrote. I didn't have much to work with for this chapter but I feel it is pretty good. And the next chapter will be longer I hope, And if your wondering why I put in another conversation with Dumbledore at the end of the chapter I needed something to end the chapter and I wanted Dumbledore to talk to Harry about leaving because Hermione followed him. So yeah, nothing else to say. Tank you very much.