A/N: Poll is still up on my profile, but it looks like it's clear what I'm going to be doing in the future. Anyway, next chapter!
Kari didn't know how long she had been curled up on the floor of her room in the TARDIS for, but she was completely exhausted now. She hadn't heard anyone else outside of her room, and for that she was grateful. She didn't think she would be able to handle hearing anything else like she had been.
"Pull it together, Kari." She mumbled to herself as she sat herself up and wiped her cheeks dry. "You're better than this. So maybe you haven't always been the greatest to the Doctor, maybe you could have done things differently, done things better. But that doesn't matter anymore. None of it matters."
All the pain and grief she was feeling was starting to fade, and it was quickly being replaced with anger and hatred. Hatred towards the Doctor, towards everyone she ever thought was her friend. They weren't her friends, they talked behind her back, they lied to her face, they were anything but her friends.
She could feel herself becoming more and more angry with everything, with the Doctor and all of his lies. "Well, not any more. Not any more, Doctor. Today, this ends." Kari said, now standing up and glaring at her door. She wasn't going to put up with the Doctor any more, not him or anyone else she had once considered a friend.
Kari took a deep breath before unlocking he door, feeling a slight shake of the room as she did. The TARDIS was telling her not to do it, not to open the door and go out there. But Kari wasn't going to listen to her anymore, she was just as bad as the Doctor as far as she was concerned.
With her hand tightly gripping the handle of the door, she pulled it open slowly, peeking through the gap to see if anyone was out there. The whole corridor was empty and dark, and all fears of Balavin had been wiped from her mind, replace with her own rage.
She stood tall as she walked through the corridors, hunting down the man who had torn her world apart and crushed everything she had ever believed. There was no way the Doctor was the man she thought he was, he was nothing more than a liar and a cheat, and she wasn't going to stand for it any longer. If he wanted her gone, then she would go, but she would give herself one hell of a send off first.
As she went, her thoughts too focused on what she was going to do when she saw the Doctor, that cloud of smoke that she had once been so afraid if was hiding in the shadows, watching. With every step she took, the darkness followed her, and her fury grew.
While Kari was searching out the Doctor, he was still on the hunt for Balavin. He had spent most of the last few hours in the console room, doing scans of the ship, trying to work out where he was. But there was a problem, the TARDIS was having trouble tracking him down, his new form managing to shield himself most of the time. Occasionally he would find out that he had been close to Kari's room, only for the TARDIS to fight back and get her away from him.
After a while he decided to check on her, to make sure that she was still okay and that he hadn't managed to get in. He had been worried about leaving her alone in her room, but he knew she would be protected better in there. Except something had been wrong when he got there. Kari was in a state, she didn't sound anything like herself and she was refusing to open the door.
It didn't matter how much he begged and pleaded, she just wouldn't listen to him. Before he knew it, there was an orange glow around the whole of her door and the room just seemed to disappear. He knew it wasn't the ship that had moved her, it had been something else, only he didn't know what.
He looked back up at the scanner, hoping to have found something at least, and he had, it just wasn't what he had expected. The TARDIS was showing him that Kari was no longer safely locked away in her room, instead she was wandering the corridors. He knew that wasn't right, not from how scared he knew she had been earlier. The Doctor knew she wouldn't just go out for a walk like that if something hadn't have happened.
He checked exactly where she was, and where it looked like she was going, knowing that he had to get to her before Balavin did. The Doctor had no idea what he was capable of, and he certainly didn't want to find out either. What he did know was that his Kari was in trouble, and he was going to do everything he could to protect her.
Kari was grinning away as she happily strolled through the ship. "Now, if I were the Doctor, where would I be?" She said to herself, knowing exactly where she should be heading to find the Time Lord. That was when she heard a slight chuckling come from the shadows behind her. "I know you're there, Balavin. But don't worry, you don't need to destroy me, to destroy everything I am or ever had. The Doctor has already done that." She told him, her eyes darkening.
"And I was so looking forward to it." Balavin replied, sounding a little disappointed. "So long I've waited for revenge, and you're not even going to let me have that pleasure."
"No, but I'm sure you will enjoy the show, Balavin. It's going to be spectacular. The Doctor is going to regret everything he has ever done, all those times he has hurt me, whether they have happened yet or not. He's going to pay for hurting me so much, for lying to me, for making me think I was important to him when I was nothing more than a burden." Kari informed him as she carried on walking. "I'm going to make him suffer."
The entire time she had been speaking, the energy within her had been building, much to Balavin's delight. He could see how much she now wanted revenge on the Doctor, how much she hated him, and he loved it. "And how are you going to do that, Angel of Time?" He asked her.
Kari's grin grew even wider as she looked down at her hands. They were starting to glow, but not the golden glow she was so used to. They were glowing a blood red, almost like how she had witnessed the sky on Elfore during the eclipse. "I'll show him what the Angel of Time can really do. Once I'm done with him, the Time Lords will truly be extinct." She said, before chuckling a little.
"Well, I do love a good show." Balavin told her, as he stuck to the shadows while the pair of them walked towards the console room where Kari was hoping that the Doctor would be.
All Kari's sense of reason had just flown out of the window, her mind so set and focused on what she was now going to do to the Doctor. He deserved to feel the pain that she had felt, that he had caused to her. And she was going to make sure that it happened, even if it killed her, because inside she was already dead.
It really didn't take her that long to discover the Doctor, considering he was turning down the corner and heading straight towards her. The moment he spotted her, he went from a fast walk into a run, wanting to get to her quickly. "Kari!" He shouted at her, while she smiled at him. "What are you doing? You're meant to be in your room. I told you not to leave your room."
"And why was that, Doctor?" Kari asked him, trying to hold back as much of the energy as she could. "Why did you tell me not to leave my room? Was it to keep me out of the way while someone else was here?"
The Doctor frowned at her, wondering what she was talking about. "Yes, to keep you away from Balavin, remember?"
"No, you're lying to me once again, Doctor." Kari spat, unable to hold it all back, and her eyes starting to burn red. "You wanted me out of the way for someone else, for some other woman. How many have there been? How many other women have you had in here when I've been gone?"
"Kari, what are you talking about?" The Doctor asked her, trying to contain his fear at the sight of her eyes. He had never seen them like that before, and he was undeniably concerned.
"I know, Doctor. I know that when I'm gone you have other women here, and yet apparently I'm the harlot." Kari told him, letting out a loud laugh, which rang through the corridor. "So tell me, how many have there been? Nine hundred years is a long time, so I'm sure the list is pretty extravagant."
He was confused, his mind trying to work out why she could have been thinking such things. "There has never been any other women, you know that. It has only ever been you." The Doctor assured her, taking a step closer towards her.
The moment he moved, Kari held up her hands, and the Doctor went flying backwards down the corridor. "Don't lie to me!" She screamed at him. "I know there have been others. I know you have always lied to me. I've never been anything more than a burden to you!"
The Doctor let out a groan as he forced himself back to his feet. He had never known her to be so angry with him, to use the power of the time vortex against him like that. "Kari, I promise you, there really has never been anyone else."
"I told you not to lie to me!" Kari shouted, letting herself completely lose her temper and send the Doctor flying once more. "You always lie to me, every time. Just tell me the truth, Doctor, how many?" She demanded.
"What makes you think there have been others?" The Doctor asked her, trying to ignore the pain his was now feeling. "Tell me why you think that?"
She glared at him, her red eyes amplifying her anger. "I don't think, Doctor, I know. I've been in your future, remember, I've heard you. I know what you call me, who you'd rather be with. I know that I mean nothing to you."
He was still trying to piece it all together, to work out exactly what was going on. "And when was this? Why have you only brought it up now if you've known for a while? Why is it only now that you decide to confront me on it?" He asked her.
"Because it's only now that I've realised it all. Oh, the doubt was always there, scratching away, telling me something was going on behind my back. The whispers, the glances, now it all makes sense." Kari told him, edging closer to him. "You never loved me, did you, Doctor? It's always someone else, someone who is so much more than me, so much better."
"Kari, please, you have to believe me, there has never been anyone but you. I do love you, if I didn't why the hell would I ask you to marry me, twice?" The Doctor asked her, starting to get a little frustrated.
She let out a laugh, a smirk on her face as she did. "Oh, you were just trying to keep me sweet, to keep me on side. You didn't want the Angel of Time as your enemy, because you always knew you wouldn't stand a chance." Kari informed him. "Plus, without me, you really would be alone, wouldn't you, Doctor? The last of the Time Lords. I'm only here still because I have two hearts, because I'm the last Time Lady. I'm not here because you actually care about me, because I mean something to you. Oh no, I'm here because you want me on side."
The whole time the Doctor and Kari had been talking, Balavin had been greatly enjoying the show from the shadows. His revenge was turning out to be sweeter than he had ever expected, and a lot easier as well.
"Kari, stop this. Just stop it." The Doctor said, having to stop himself from reaching out to her from fear she would send him in the air once more. "This isn't you. You know none of that stuff is true, you know that I do care about you. You mean everything to me, Kari, everything."
She shook her head at him, her smirk finally fading. "No you don't. I've never been anything more than an asset and a burden. You shattered everything, Doctor. My hearts are in pieces because of you. And now, it's your turn to suffer."
Suddenly something clicked in the Doctor's mind, something that Balavin had said. "The nightmare. The shadow and the doubt." He mumbled to himself while gazing at Kari's red eyes. "Let her go, Balavin." The Doctor quickly shouted. "Whatever you've done, whatever hold you have over her, let her go."
Kari tilted her head and looked at the Doctor. "Always so quick to blame someone else. Don't like the fact that I've finally worked it all out? That I'm finally taking a stand against you and your lies?" She asked him.
"Kari, listen to me, this isn't you. This is all Balavin. Remember what he said, that he was the nightmare, the shadow in your mind and the doubt in your heart." The Doctor said hastily. "Do you remember that?"
"What does any of that matter now?" She replied, not planning on letting him get out of it so easily. "He gets his revenge without even having to do anything, you made sure of that, Doctor."
He let out a growl as he shook his head at her. "Don't you see? He is the one that has done this. He planted the doubt, he is the one that has made you think all of this. Kari, you know that I love you, and I will only ever love you. Please, you have to listen to me."
And for a brief moment she did, the red changing to a more orange glow. "Are you really going to listen to the man who has constantly lied to you? The man who is always keeping secrets from you?" Balavin whispered to her.
In an instant the red was back again, burning brighter than before. "No. I'm not listening to you any more. I spent too long listening to your lies, and that ends right now. I was such a fool, thinking that someone like you could ever want me. But you're not the man I thought you were, I thought you were the greatest man in the universe. But you're not. You're just like everyone else."
"Kari, listen to me. Whatever it was that convinced you that I didn't care was done by him. None of that was me, do you understand? I would never, ever do that. You have to believe me." The Doctor pleaded, running out of options to try and convince her. Talking with her didn't seem to be working, if anything it only seemed to fuel her on.
"How can I believe you? You are always lying to me, Doctor, always. How do I know the truth from the lies?" Kari asked him, feeling her anger starting to fade slightly.
He took a cautious step towards her, watching her carefully in case she decided to attack him once more. "Let me show you, Kari. Let me show you, and if after that you still don't believe me, then I give up. There will be nothing else I can do to convince you, and I'll know I have lost you." The Doctor told her, surprised that she was just standing there and letting him get closer. "Balavin planted a seed of doubt in your mind, it spread to both your hearts. He's feeding off it, and the angrier you get, the stronger he gets. This is his revenge, Kari."
"I heard you, Doctor. I heard you telling someone else that you loved them and not me. I heard you call someone else your wife while they called me a harlot. I heard you." She explained to him, the red once again dimming down to orange.
"Yes, you heard me. But did you see me, Kari? Did you see any of it?" She shook her head at him. She had been in her room, she had listened to them talking in the corridor outside, she hadn't opened the door to watch them, she just couldn't. "Exactly, what you heard was him, not me. Please, believe me."
"I… I don't… I didn't…"
The Doctor smiled at her, seeing that she was finally starting to listen to him. "Trust me, I'm the Doctor." He told her, before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her towards him. He brushed her wild hair out of her face, gently tucking it behind her ear. He could see the confusion as he gazed into her eyes, he could see that his Kari was still in there and that Balavin hadn't completely destroyed her.
"I want the truth, Doctor." Kari told him quietly, her voice starting to shake a little.
He nodded his head at her, making sure to keep his eyes locked with hers, before reaching out and placing a hand under her chin, lifting her gaze up a little more. From the light in the corroder, he could see her eyes glistening, a sure sign that tears were ready to form.
The Doctor carefully reached down, his lips making contact with Kari's. The moment they did, Kari felt a flood of emotions just barrelling through her. There was no doubt that she was utterly confused and didn't know what to think anymore. She wanted to trust the Doctor, to know the truth, but she knew he had lied to her, and would lie to her.
When she thought about it, the only times he lied to her were times when he needed to protect her. She couldn't really remember a time when he had been out to hurt her, where he was lying to her because he could and wanted to. And she always seemed to be able to pick up on when he was lying, just like he always knew when she was lying.
With a slight sob from the mess that was in her head, she deepened the kiss. This was how the Doctor always distracted her, and she needed a distraction from everything she was thinking and feeling. She desperately wanted to believe the Doctor, but the doubt was so strong that she didn't know if she could.
As if someone had read her mind, Kari suddenly felt a rush of memories that weren't her own flick through her head. She saw herself there, hand in hand with the Doctor, with all the Doctors. She saw herself laying on some fields of red grass, a young man with shining eyes beside her, holding onto her hand tightly. It was the eyes that draw her in, that made her want to smile, because it was the eyes that told her who it was beside her.
The Doctor had been right, she had always been there beside him, since the very beginning, all the way back on Gallifrey. She had been there with him, sitting on the red grass, gazing up at the sky, long to see them closer, to reach out and touch them. Kari had been there before he had the TARDIS, before he started travelling the stars. Someone was showing her that she had always been there, and that it had only ever been her.
The memories stopped abruptly when someone shouted. "No! Stop it!" Balavin cried. "He's trying to trick you. He's lying to you, he is always lying to you. You can't trust him, you know you can't. He feeds you one lie after the other."
The Doctor glared at that dark cloud of smoke that was still hanging around in the corridor of the TARDIS with them. "No, its' you that is lying. You planted that doubt in Kari's mind, trying to turn her against me. This was your plan all along, use her to destroy me as well as herself." The Doctor spat.
Kari turned her head, the glow that had been surrounding her now completely faded. She had seen the truth now, she had seen that the Doctor had been right, and that Balavin had been playing with her mind. "Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry." She told him. "I'm sorry that this is what you've turned into."
"Don't you see what the Doctor has just done? He's lied to you again!" Balavin cried. "Look at him! He is the liar, not me. You heard what he said, how he doesn't care about you. How he married someone else. You heard him."
"I heard someone that sounded like him, that sounded like my friends. But the Doctor is right, I didn't see anything, I only heard it. You have been following me since the moment I left my room, how do I know it wasn't you who said all of those things?" She asked, finally starting to see exactly what was going on.
"No! It was him! You heard him!" Balavin shouted, clearly starting to panic now. "Don't listen to him, he's a liar!"
Kari shook her head, taking a hold of the Doctor's hand tightly. "No he isn't. He's the Doctor, my Doctor. And I trust him, more than anyone else I have ever met or ever will meet. You made me doubt him, you made me believe all of those things, not him."
"That's one thing about my Kari." The Doctor said, smiling a little. "Everyone always underestimates her. She's a lot stronger than she looks."
"No! Stop it!"
"Your whole plan for revenge relies on her doubting me, doubting everything that we have together." The Doctor told him. "You were feeding off her doubt, her anger and pain. But what happens when she stops doubting? Hmm? When her anger has faded and she knows that all that pain you made her feel wasn't real, what happens then?"
"Stop it. No, stop it!"
"No? You don't want to tell her? You've been so eager to talk to her before, to tell her all those lies." There was anger in the Doctor's tone, but Kari wasn't afraid of him, because she knew he had a plan. "Have you suddenly gone shy?"
"Kari, you can't listen to him. He is lying." Balavin cried, not longer sounding so menacing. In fact, to Kari, it sounded more like he was in pain now. "You know him, you know what he's like. All those lies, all the time."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I do know him, I do know what he is like. So he lies to me, sometimes it's the only way to keep me safe, to protect me. If the Doctor lies to me about something, I know, because I can see it written all over his face. But what I also know is that sooner or later I will find out the truth." Kari opened her eyes, the golden glow that she was so familiar with finally returning. "Because of you, I hurt the Doctor. You made me do the one thing I have been so scared of."
"No… no!" Balavin cried. The dark cloud that both the Doctor and Kari were watching was getting smaller. It didn't look so threatening, so dangerous, and the Doctor couldn't help but smile.
"Everything I heard was a lie, a lie concocted by you, Balavin. You tried to break me, and you almost succeeded. But I trust the Doctor, I believe the Doctor." The moment she said that, Balavin screamed, making Kari have to cover her ears.
The sound was worse than someone dragging their nails across a chalkboard, the screeching making her cringe. "You can't do this to me! This isn't how it was meant to go! You're meant to doubt him, to hate him! You should kill him!"
"Haven't you gotten it yet?" The Doctor shouted over the screaming, holding Kari close to him. "You've lost, Balavin. You lost again. You will never beat my Kari, give up."
The screeching became louder, causing Kari to scrunch her eyed shut tightly and bury her face in the Doctor's chest. She had no idea what was happening to Balavin now, but she was sure she didn't want to see it. All of this had happened because of her, he had wanted revenge because of her, and she had hurt the Doctor.
Soon enough the Doctor's arms were wrapped around her, keeping her pressed against him. "It's okay, Kari. It's over now, he's gone." He told her softly, knowing that she was still struggling with it all. "He can't hurt you any more, it's over."
She turned her hear to where she had last seen the form of Balavin, only to find that there was no sight of him or any evidence that he had ever been there. "What… what happened to him?"
The Doctor let out a sigh, knowing that he couldn't lie to her. "He's dead. Like I said, he was feeding off your doubt and anger. Without that, he couldn't sustain his form. He's gone now. I promise."
"So, I killed him?" Kari asked, her voice shaking. "I… I killed him?"
Straight away the Doctor knew what she was thinking. "No, Kari, no. You did not kill him. He died a long time ago, he was just hanging on by a thread. You are not a killer."
Kari didn't say anything else about it, she just buried her head once more into the Doctor's chest. The whole day had just been an emotional rollercoaster for her, and even now she was still trying to pull herself together.
"Come on, how about we go and have a nice cup of tea, yeah?" The Doctor suggested after a few minutes of the pair of them just standing there in the empty corridor.
"I'm… I'm sorry for what I did, Doctor. Attacking you like that. I… I didn't mean to hurt you, I just…" Kari stuttered. "The one thing I have always been so afraid of me doing, and I done it. I've always been so scared that I would lose control and end up hurting you or someone else that I care about. And I did."
He could see that she was getting upset, and he could understand why. "Nah, you didn't hurt me. Come on, you're not exactly a Dalek fleet, are you?" The Doctor told her jokingly, trying to lighten the mood and not let her dwell on what had happened. "Kari, everything is fine, okay?"
She nodded at him, before letting him lead her along the corridor and towards the TARDIS kitchen. The Doctor knew that it was going to take her a while to calm down and get over everything that had happened since breakfast, he just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.
Getting his Kari back was not going to be an easy feat, and he knew that. She'd had her emotions played with, her head messed up and her hearts broken, it wouldn't be easy for anyone to bounce back from something like that. But the Doctor know that Kari was stronger than that, she was always showing him that over and over again, so he knew she would be okay eventually.
"There you go, nice cup of tea." The Doctor said, placing a mug down in front of Kari as she sat at the table in the kitchen. "How you feeling now?"
Kari just gazed into the mug that was now between her hands. "I'm okay." She whispered, still thinking everything over.
"No you're not, so just be honest with me." The Doctor replied, sitting down next to her with his own mug of tea.
She let out a sigh before lifting her head up and looking at him. "I'm not okay, I'm really not okay, Doctor. My head was messed about with so much, I really believed that what I heard was true. What does that say about me?" Kari asked him. "Since I was so willing to believe it without having any other proof. I was totally out of line."
"It wasn't your fault. He planted that doubt, and then he just found a way to reinforce it. He was in your head, Kari, none of it was down to you." The Doctor assured her.
"But he didn't force me to throw you around like that." She told him, feeling her eyes welling up once more. She was so sick of the tears now, but she was in such a mess that she didn't have the strength to even try and stop them. "I'm the one that used the time vortex to hurt you, you can't put that on anyone else."
"I know you didn't mean it, he may not have had full control, but he was still influencing you." The Doctor said, trying to make her see that he didn't blame any of it on her. He understood that she didn't know what she was doing that she was under Balavin's influence.
Kari let her eyes fall back down to the contents of her mug. "That was the one thing that always scared me about this time vortex thing, that I would end up hurting someone that I care about. And in the end, I did. I hurt you." She mumbled, before pushing her chair away from the table and getting up.
The Doctor frowned at her. "Kari, where are you going?" He asked, noticing that she was backing towards the door.
"I… I just need some space. I'm sorry, Doctor, I'm really sorry." She told him, before bolting out of the door and charging to her room. She needed some time to get it together, to straighten everything out in her head. She knew that the Doctor had forgiven her for attacking him like she did, but she wasn't able to forgive herself so easily. If she could hurt the Doctor like that, then how many other people she cared about was she going to hurt?
A/N: Ta-da! Kari has now had an extended visit with the 9th Doctor. Still more to come, obviously, but at least they have had an adventure of their own together.
Now, last chapter I received a few comments, saying how I was a bad as Moffat… Guess I better start killing people off now then. Who should I kill first? But seriously, being compared to Moff is a great honour, and I thank those special people who thought that of me.
Onto other matters, thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed this story. I'm pleased you are enjoying it and I hope you keep enjoying it. And for all of you lovely, special, magnificent people who take the time to review, a massive thank you and bigs hugs as well. I'm in a hugging mood today, not sure why.
Well, I shall leave you to ponder over this chapter, because Kari isn't going to be leaving him yet. So what could be going on next? Think about it, you'll find out next week.
Pippa.