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Chapter 1

Ten Months Earlier

A lone viper shot across the sky, a brilliant flash of silver on the horizon of New Caprica. Kara smiled darkly as she turned the controls, heading back out towards the ships. Pegasus and Galactica remained like two large beacons of hope. But even as she did the high fly-by, she saw the ships on the surface. So far President Baltar's urgency to get the people of the Colonies onto the planet hadn't fallen through. Many had welcomed leaving the ship to live in a house again without hesitation.

Personally, Starbuck would take life as CAG on Galactica without salivating over living in a house again. Her life on Caprica had taught her that. She was a fighter, a soldier… nothing more.

She had chosen today's patrol flight, allowing her pilots R&R time on the planet's surface. Many were already packing their things for what could be a new beginning. Kara wanted to laugh at their antics and wanted nothing more than to call them silly kids and be done with it. But no. This was their choice.

Speaking of choices…

Instead of heading towards Galactica's flight decks, she turned instead towards the Pegasus deck. She knew the time had come to again drill Stinger, the captain once again promoted once she'd taken Apollo's old job on Galactica, and remind him that he needed to send out Pegasus pilots too. She kept sending her pilots out. She was frankly starting to get a little sick of being taken advantage of. If Stinger wasn't responsible, she would love to get her hands on Apollo.

Well, not literally.

Once landing, she glanced around the empty flight deck as she removed her own gear before hopping on the hard, metal plate. "Hey!" she shouted across the room. A single deck hand turned and acknowledged her. "Where's the rest of the crew?"

"They're on leave," the man replied after giving her a brief salute. "Commander Adama's orders."

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Kara muttered under her breath as she stalked past him. "Stinger around?"

"Try his office!" the man shouted to her back.

"Right."

As usual, the CAG office on the Pegasus was empty. She remembered spending her first hours in here. She ran her hand along the solid metal frame and smiled to herself. When she had been here, she had actually respected the Commanding officer. Helena Cain was a lot of things, many bad. But getting that promotion to captain had certainly endeared Kara towards the Admiral. Even though her death was untimely, Kara still missed her whenever she walked the corridors of Pegasus.

"Captain Thrace… can I help you?"

"Captain Taylor," she said unenthusiastically as she turned to face him, her hands on her hips. "Would you mind telling me why my pilots are running all the runs?"

"Would you mind telling me why you're standing in the middle of my office?" he asked calmly, setting aside a stack of papers and staring her up and down.

"So this is how it's gonna be?" Kara asked coolly. "My team runs the CAP and yours get lazy on their asses waiting for us to frak up?"

"Yes," Cole replied, smirking at her icy expression. "That's exactly what I'm waiting for."

"If you don't want to settle it the easy way, I'll take it to the Admiral."

"Because we both know you're Admiral Adama's favorite. Hell, you're Commander Adama's favorite."

An odd shadow passed over Kara's face as she shook her head slightly. "I don't think you have to worry about Commander Adama, Taylor. I'm pretty sure the whole frakking fleet knows we haven't spoken in a month."

"Whose choice was that?" When she didn't answer, he smiled grimly. "Work out your personal problems on your own time, Captain. It's time for you to act like one. Instead of running around complaining that my team isn't taking CAP because you insist on running both ships, well… that's your own luck. I'm sure this office isn't big enough for you."

Kara let out a long, slow breath, counting down the seconds before her temper flared dangerously. "Fine. You set up the run and you plan the op. Until then, I'm giving my officers some rack time. If you don't like it, you go complain. I'm done wasting my breath."

She heard Taylor curse at her even as she stormed off. Halfway down the corridor she paused, slamming her hands into the bulkhead in frustration.

She made her way back to the flight deck and her viper. She was about to get into her viper when a familiar voice called her back.

"Lee," she murmured under her breath, moving towards him. He stood there with his hands clasped behind his back.

"For awhile there, I thought you were avoiding my ship."

"I was avoiding more than this ship, sir," Kara replied edgily.

"Yes, well, we can't all have your charm." He smirked as her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here, Starbuck? This isn't your ship."

"Maybe if you pulled your head out of the frakking stars you could see that I have been overworking my flight team to the point that Pegasus hasn't taken a single flight in weeks," Kara snapped, losing all pretenses to keep her calm. "I've got pilots just dying for a good, long time in the racks and I keep pulling them back because your CAG doesn't know how to do his job."

"He was doing his job perfectly until you replaced him," Lee replied calmly, leaning against one of the later Mark vipers with that glint in his eye. He seemed to be enjoying this particular conversation. "Maybe you shouldn't have left."

"We both know why I did."

"Because you pissed off the Commander and you frakked yourself into that hole," Lee replied.

"That's part of it."

Lee stood straight and stared her in the eye, watching as she continued to glare at him. "What else is there? I mean, you seem to have everything you need on Galactica. You have pilots that respect you. And you have—"

"I also know what I have and don't have," Kara said between clenched teeth. "I lose more people day after day to that stupid dream world out there."

"Well maybe it's good to know that you can't always have what you want," Lee said, moving closer.

"You know, I used to look up to you. I used to trust you, Lee. It used to be your word and my word. I guess things change."

"The more they change, the more they stay the same," he challenged in return. "Same ol' Kara." But she knew his words had held the impact she intended. He broke eye contact and looked away. "Go back to your ship."

She unclenched her jaw and nodded. "Right. Good to see you again, Commander. I'll give your regards to the Admiral."

In another time and in another place, her behavior may have sent her to the brig. But Lee knew better. His eyes darkened as he stared her down. After a long moment, she was the one to look away. "As always, it's been a pleasure, Captain."

Kara waited for the hatch to shut before she muttered, "And you can go straight to hell, Lee."

- - - - -

"You need to relax, Kara. Stressing out about this isn't the way to get your voice heard."

"I'm well aware of that, Karl," Kara snapped as she unwrapped her hand and shook it, admiring the purple splotch on her elbow. It seemed that physically she was unable to keep up with Lieutenant Agathon anymore.

"I guess you're just more of a fight face girl."

"I guess I'm just not a girl," Kara retorted as she pulled her coat back on. Sniffling, she slammed her locker shut to face the man standing with his back to her. "How are you doing?"

She could see his shoulders droop and heard his muffled response. "Fine."

"Don't lie to me, Helo," Kara smirked, turning to pick up her towel and move towards the figure now walking towards the door. "I've known you too long. Tell me."

"How do you want me to answer?" Helo asked. "The woman I love is pulling away from me. We lost the one thing we had together in this world. I feel like I'm losing her."

"Have you talked to Sharon lately?" Kara asked as they reached the corridor.

"Some. She doesn't really talk though. She just lies there and stares. It's…"

Kara grimaced at the thought. "Yeah, I get it. You're in love. It's hard to fall out of it."

"Don't I know it," Helo grumbled as he headed down a different corridor.

Kara took a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing on. "You're not the only one," she admitted to no one as she moved in the opposite direction.

Sam was waiting for her in the flight officer's mess. The room was dark as most of her pilots were sleeping now. He was sitting at a table in the darkest corner with a bottle and two glasses set out. "It's about time," he said, glancing easily at the figure walking towards him. "I thought you'd be back hours ago."

"I was held up," she murmured as she dropped in the seat next to him. His arms went around her waist, pulling her suggestively into his lap. She heard her own throaty chuckle as his lips traced her jawbone. Her fingers moved up his neck, flickered into his hair.

"Mmm," he said quietly as she pulled back.

"What?" she asked, moving her legs to better sit. His hands moved to her waist and pulled her flush to him. "Not good enough for you?"

"No," he replied, his fingers gently pushing her hair from her eyes. "You look perfect to me."

She laughed as she bent down to kiss him. But even her laughter sounded hollow as he held her. In her mind, uncertainties were beginning to emerge. Things, in her mind, would never be the same.

- - - - -

Even as he moved through the darkened corridors of Pegasus, Lee Adama's mind was elsewhere. He heard his CAG complaining about Kara rather harshly. He heard on a daily basis why their pilots could never stack up to the miracle from Galactica. Wherever he walked on this ship, it came back to the same person he was trying with great difficulty to forget about. Everything had changed the day he had found Kara and Samuel together. For months she was hung up on him. Now she finally had him.

He couldn't really blame her, though. Despite any feelings he had towards her, she had basically forced him to forget with her actions. If she wanted a drunken moron to fawn over her every flaw and inadequacy, Anders was welcome to have her.

But part of his mind was still lost on the whole needing to forget thing.

Until he reached his quarters and pushed the door open.

"You're late."

Lee turned towards his bed behind his wardrobe. A single figure was lounging on her back, his blankets barely covering her backside as she smirked up at him. "You're here," he said, setting his folders aside.

Dualla laughed as she rolled onto her stomach, tipping her face to him. "Where'd you think I'd be?" she asked sweetly. "I told you I'd be here. I don't break my promises."

Lee tried not to wince as he heard Kara accusing him of breaking his word to her in his mind. "I know… I mean, I remember you saying that."

Dualla pulled him down next to her. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," he said as she wrapped her arms around him. "Just… bad day."

"We all have some of those," she said as she kissed him lightly. "I missed you."

It was nice to know someone cared about him this way, he thought to himself. He needed to feel like this. He needed to feel like a man, like someone who was cared for and adored by someone else. He once thought that Kara would be the one. Now he was almost glad she wasn't. Almost.

"Come here," Dee said, pulling him on top of her. Chuckling slightly, he gave himself over to her.

- - - - -

"Captain, you awake?"

Kara started awake, turning her head to the single figure standing just inside the doorway. "Yes?" she asked sleepily, rolling onto her side.

"XO's been trying to call you. He wants you in his office now."

"Right," Starbuck said, shooing the officer away before turning onto her back and sighing. "Frak me."

A warm male arm moved over her bare abdomen and began stroking her exposed hip lightly. "Too late, already happened," Samuel murmured, nuzzling her neck.

"Sam," Kara muttered as she felt his hand move lower. Her eyes widened at what he was trying to do and she quickly pushed his hand away. "Samuel!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said, pulling back and holding his hands up in mock surrender. "You better go see your XO."

She turned and kissed him quickly. "Be back soon."

Minutes later, she strolled to Tigh's office and knocked on the door. When he called her in, he was surprised to see a brisk salute. "You wanted to see me, Colonel?" she asked.

"Just talked to the Pegasus XO," Colonel Tigh said, fixing the collar on his uniform. "They said they would take the runs today. You and your pilots should get some rack time. Maybe a bit of relaxation could go a long way."

"I didn't know the Pegasus CAG would actually listen to my request," Kara said, slightly surprised at this news.

"According to him, the order came from the old man's son."

Kara blinked as she took this news in. "Thanks, Colonel. I'll spread the word to our pilots."

"But don't get complacent, Captain," Tigh warned her with that patented look. "I want our Vipers back in the air."

"Yes, sir," Kara replied. "Can I be dismissed now?"

"You're dismissed Captain. Go get some rest."

"Thank you, sir," Kara said, turning on her heel and walking straight from the Colonel's office.

It seemed to her that Lee Adama didn't care about what happened on Galactica anymore. He had his own problems to worry about on Pegasus. But for some reason, he had listened yesterday. Maybe he wasn't completely lost to her yet. She always got what she wanted… but sometimes she had to pay the price for it.

- - - - -

Author's Note: This is a rare mid-week update for me. I wanted to get this out before the weekend so I could work on my other projects. Thanks to those of you who have been giving Saving Me a chance. I didn't want this story to be particularly shippy but now I think you can see which ship in particular I love more than others. For now, however, the show's ships will stand in this story. I do accept constructive criticism. This isn't my genre, so I can take it. Hopefully you're beginning to see where I'm going with this one. Thank you again for your critiques and reviews.