Distant Abandonment Part 2 -

Blossom and Dust

Samantha Wildman.

As the transporter took me, my first thought was Naomi. She was so young, too young and had faced too many challenges already in her little life. Beamed into the world, born into a war, dying of Haemocythemia, being returned from some alternate Voyager in just the first few hours of life. Stranded on a deserted world and again coming so close to dying. And now, being beamed out again, into a new birth. A prison world without Voyager, with very little hope.

I had never wanted to raise her in space. That was never part of our plan. Greskrendtregk and I were going to take a break from space if I ever got pregnant, transfer to one of the inner colonies, maybe Aashritha. But fate conspired against us like it had from the beginning! Jilhanna, my mother in law, had warned us that we would fight to make our joining work. Seems she was right.

We arrived on the planet, the detention colony where the Voth First Minister had told us we would spend our lives. I looked down, was she still breathing, for a second I could not tell, her usual thermally adjusted babygro had been confiscated, and she had been bundled in blankets instead whilst I was unconscious. But then she wiggled, and I could relax. For now.

Everyone was appearing around me in a square around two hundred metres long. The ground was bare and rocky, the sky heavy with cloud above us. At least the planet appeared to be Class M, there was none of the tell-tale catch in the throat when I breathed in. The air was quite nice, in fact. It had none of the synthetic sharpness of Voyager's recyclables. But still, I would have given almost everything I had to be on Voyager again, breathing in recyclables, going home.

And it was cold. Not "I'm dying" cold, just a chill that went straight for the bones. I held Naomi tighter. Neelix saw the movement and came rushing over, undoing his simple cloak and wrapping it around me. I tried to resist, but in truth, i was so grateful for the extra warmth. Tuvok called for us all to assemble in sections so we could be counted. I hoped no one was missing, even without Voyager, we were better together than separate. I shuffled over to the Biology section, though i think they came towards me faster for I barely moved.

The babe, whether from the cold or from sensing my fear, began to cry. I tried to shush her, bouncing her up and down gently, but she would not be quiet. I tried singing to her, pulling faces, smiling, laughing, but she would not stop the cries. It was as if she knew. Eventually, with everyone else gazing at me, I bent my head over her to keep out the wind and cried with her, silently.

Tuvok

I watched them split off into sections, the well-trained crew that they were. I ordered section heads to begin counting, though I was confident that every crew member was accounted for. It is always prudent to be sure of such things.

As they counted off, I nodded to my security team. They were all present and accounted for. I divided them into teams and sent them off scouting. It was cold and twilight was falling, it was essential that shelter was found before night, already I could hear Ensign Wildman's baby crying. I began to walk towards her, to see if she required assistance, when a touch on my shoulder stopped me. The Captain. I glanced up at her, she shook her head. Though I sometimes fail to fully grasp the motives that drive Human behaviour, the Captain and I had known each other for long enough that I understood the gesture and stood still.

A shout from Ensign Damler alerted me to the discovery of several packs of what looked like supplies. I was straight there, assessing the threat of the packages. I believed they were almost certainly harmless so allowed the crew to continue unpacking them. A blanket and a knife for each person, a set of basic farming equipment and ten large cooking pots. The Captain ordered me to gather everything up for now and assign a security detail to carry the packs to a place of shelter. For once, her logic was strong. The risk of giving the crew, in their various stages of emotional shock, weapons, was, if not substantial, definitely present. In addition, we had no idea what, if any, extra equipment may have been issued to other members of the crew. It was certainly necessary to complete an additional inventory once we reached a place of safety.

Almost as soon as the equipment had been collected, a shout rose up from another security detail, the group scouting to the south of our landing point. Again, Janeway, myself and Chakotay ran towards the group. Visible from the small cliff we had ascended, was a group of structures, made of some sort of rock. The structures made up an irregular square shape, with other buildings scattered behind the primary constructions. They all appeared primitive, I could see no door coverings and several had smoke rising from holes in the roofing. However, it was clear that they could not have been constructed by a primitive race, the materials resembled Mal'Shoa, the tough building material made from gravel, sand and water. Remains of it can still be seen in the ruins left on Vulcan from before the Time of Awakening, it is one of the few materials to survive. It is not a primitive material.

As we remained on the hill, looking down, I saw movement. I signalled to the others to take cover and moved to where I could get a better view. Beings were coming out of one of the shelters, a small group. From their gait and appearance, I knew them to be Voth, but guards or prisoners, I could not say. They were certainly advancing on our position, however. Perhaps they had been expecting our appearance? As they approached the cliff, it became obvious that there was not enough cover to disguise our group and that they had seen us. It was to be expected, the Earth lizards to which they were related, had excellent eyesight, superior to humans. Cover that should have been sufficient was not, the Voth could clearly detect movement far more subtle than that visible to Humans. So they approached.

I tensed, preparing myself inwardly for conflict, without letting any preparation show. It would be illogical to provoke them if they were here peacefully, merely other prisoners going about their business. However, unpreparedness is the downfall of many, and I would not fall into that trap.

So they approached.

Janeway

I had not noticed Gagen behind us, he had been very quiet since we had all been placed on the transport ship. I suppose he was afraid, he had no experience of my people and even I was not sure I could completely predict their behaviour given the circumstances. However, as the party from the settlement approached, I heard a rustling noise as Gagen stood, revealing our position to them all.

"sit down" I hissed at him, but he was oblivious.

There was nothing to do but stand and greet the Voth party. I was thankful that I could trust Tuvok completely, though he was mentally and physically prepared for a fight, his total control meant that nothing would happen unless it was necessary. Chakotay was on edge, but was calm. His soothing personality had a pacifying effect on all around him. Only Gagen was the loose cannon.

I was reminded of the incident on the Ocampa homeworld, when we had first beamed down, when Neelix had nearly cost the lives of several members of the away team. It was almost history repeating as the Voth group approached, suspicious and anxious. Gagen walked forward and called

"Tiana. What are you doing here?"

For a minute I thought they were going to grab him, but instead a female Voth stepped forward and touched Gagen where, if he were human, his stomach would be. I heard her speak

"I'm sure the question has got to be what are you doing here? And who are these beings? What have you done?"

His head fell, he seemed to be unable to answer

"later then." Continued the female. "For now, come inside. It is cold. Do they have a leader?"

Gagen gestured at myself, and I stepped forward.

"I am Captain Janeway" I was about to say "Of the Federation Starship Voyager" but then I realised that was no longer true. I hesitated for a heartbeat, then continued

"Of the United Federation of Planets"

"I am Tianna, formerly of the Circle of Medicine, now First of the Settlement of Ha'Shin. How many of your people are here, Captain?" Enquired the female, her businesslike manner appealed to me with so many crew cold, wet and in shock. I glanced at Gagen, who nodded, then at Chakotay who did the same.

"We have one hundred and forty people and one child over the other side of this rise" I replied.

Tianna was silent for a moment.

"One hundred and forty? That would account for the new buildings. You arrived with survival packs, I take it? Gather your crew and your equipment, bring them here. The new sleeping areas are ready for them."

We were able to settle everyone into the bunkhouses. The Voth gave them a meal, primitive but filling. Darkness was approaching and I had arranged to meet with Tianna and her council. But the crew came first. I moved between bunkhouses, giving the same speech in all three where my crew were stationed.

"Attention everyone. I know many of you are tired, the effects of the drugs have not worn off yet. Tonight, I and the senior staff will be meeting with those already here, discussing options and learning more. Tomorrow, I will be able to give you more information. Lieutenant Tuvok distributed blankets and survival supplies to you all, please try to get some rest tonight and tomorrow we will begin making plans."

There is an old American expression for it, a cop-out. But I would address them tomorrow, when we had a plan.

And so, the senior staff and myself moved into a smaller hut, where a fire was burning and several Voth gathered round, to learn our fate.

It was an intense night, a night of discovery and compromise. The Voth had been on this planet for around six months, they were all educated people and had built up a society, a society which would clearly struggle to integrate all of the Voyager crew. They had not even been considering any form of escape, they were struggling simply to survive and we would have to integrate with that. Tomorrow we would start farming, building, living with them.

Chakotay and I were up long after we had finished our discussions with the Voth, drawing up duty rosters, of all things. It only seemed a paltry few hours when the dawn light graced the sky heralding the sun, and I knew it was time to address the crew.

In the main square they gathered, all of them, standing together. I was proud again, I felt the pride swell within me. They were united. It was time

"When we embarked on this journey, we knew it would not be easy. We knew that we would encounter obstacles, that we would face dangers. And here we are, a huge obstacle has been placed in our way. But, I said to you on the first day of our journey that it was clear that we had to work together if we were to survive. And this is still true. We must still work together. By combining our efforts with that of our Voth neighbours, we can strive to achieve the incredible, to continue our journey and ultimately succeed. I, no We, will need all of you working as hard as you can, giving your all to whatever task you are assigned. But I know that we have courage, strength and resourcefulness. We shall survive. Voyager shall live on!"

Harry Kim

It was a stirring speech, what we had come to expect from the Captain. But it was never going to be as simple as mere words. And as the time grew on, cracks emerged.

First, surprisingly, was Tom Paris. After farming for weeks in a row with no break, beating the harsh, barren soil with bear hands, any growth at all an act of will rather than nature, he cracked.

"This is crazy" He shouted to the farming group one morning. "All we do is farm, we don't grow anything, we don't get anywhere. We've been here seven months and nothing has happened. What's the point if I'm just going to farm for the rest of my life?"

With that, he stormed out of the camp and into the hills, walking determinedly away. We hadn't expected it of him, he was certainly the one with the most experience of prison. Maybe that was the problem? He was used to having defined boundaries, defined limits. Here there wasn't a limit, wasn't a boundary. It was just us and this planet, forever. The Voth had explained that their leaders used prisoners to prepare planets for colonisation. We would bash out something approaching a life here, then, if it became habitable by "civilised" people, we would be moved on and the planet would be sold. The heretics always got the most difficult, most marginal planets, however. We were clearly not intended to succeed or to have contact with the outside universe again.

Many, if not all of us, felt the same feelings that Tom Paris expressed. We were just too loyal or maybe too frightened to express them. What happened if we denied our Starfleet-trained optimism?

Tom Paris

I shouldn't have done it. But I was so angry, so frustrated. There was no way out. For all of the Captain's fine words about striving and courage, since that day we had done nothing but farm. And whatever we all thought of Neelix's food on Voyager, what he cooked up for us here was much, much worse. What was the point of a life spent carrying water to the bunkhouses and fields? Ploughing fields with nothing more than a shaped stick? Backbreaking, pointless, exhausting. Only B'Elanna brought any joy to life at all, but I just had to get away.

I didn't know where I was going. I saw Harry's shocked face as I walked away, but I couldn't stay. I've always had a problem with claustrophobia, and in that little village, it was starting to reassert itself with a vengeance. And so I headed out into the wldlands beyond the village. There was a forest, that was where I headed to. I would live for myself for a while.

No, that can't be what I was thinking. I loved B'Elanna too much. But I had to get out and suddenly the forest seemed so beautiful, so enticing. It promised peace and serenity, the chance to be myself, to see the stars, look up and dream.

No one looked up any more, that was what got to me. No one looked up. I had always looked up at the stars as a child, the beautiful names, mysterious names. Orion, Leo, Ursa Major. The stars visible when flying in runabouts with my dad – Epsilon Eridani, Alpha Centauri and Proxima Centauri. Names that rolled around your mouth like poetry. Now, no one looked up. They were ashamed of the stars we had once walked amongst. And I longed to look up and see the stars again, no shame, just freedom. So I left. To my shame, I left. I left everyone who needed my help, I left B'Elanna, I left Harry. I just left. What else could I have done? I didn't know.

The forest was cold and damp, but still good. Refreshing. I was there listening to the birds and animals, catching meat occasionally. I had learnt more Klingon survival skills from B'Elanna than I liked to admit!

But she was still better than me. When she tracked me down, I was amazed. I thought I had covered my tracks, but when I said this she laughed and told me I stood out like a Grishnar cat in a thunderstorm. A bizarre simile, to say the least. Since we had landed, B'Elanna had become a lot more Klingon, clearly her form of survival trait!

"We need to talk" she began as she approached me. I was stunned, I didn't know what to say. I wanted to know who she'd found me, what had happened, everything. So much, in fact, that I couldn't form any words. I didn't' need to. She was on a roll, there was something she had to say and she was going to say it.

"I'm pregnant"

I gaped at her, then, in true male Paris style, I asked

"What do you mean Pregnant?"

"Umm, having a baby pregnant. Inside here" she spoke slowly, and pointed dramatically to her belly "is a little growing baby, and you're the father"

I had stood up to greet her, and I found myself sitting down again pretty quickly. Shaking my head, I got up again as she smiled at me.

"You're going to be a father" She finally said and kissed me on the nose. I gave her the largest, tightest cuddle I could manage. I held her. For just these few seconds, I was happy. Then, of course, reality struck.

"But what about this?" I gestured to the trees "What about here?"

"You'll just have to come back. We can manage. There's food, shelter. Sam and Naomi are doing fine, we will do fine too."

"How long have we got? We're going to need to build a shelter, a bed, make blankets." I was waffling now,

She smiled serenely again, she looked so beautiful and I was so in love with her

"About six months. I've only just found out."

"Then lets get ready"

"Just promise me one thing, Tom. Don't ever do this again! I only found you this time because the pregnancy has heightened my awareness. I'm going to need you now"

"I won't go" I replied "But you have to promise not to go either"

"I promise"

And with that, we set off across the plain towards the camp, hand in hand.