A/N: Hey guys, I know this chapter is slightly shorter, and probably not the one that you were expecting. I've had a bit of a week, and my fuzzy monster Boe died yesterday. I wanted to make sure I uploaded on time, so there may be a few mistakes still there. Let me know and I will sort them as soon as I can.
Kari stayed absolutely still as she waited for her head to stop spinning. She was listening carefully, trying to work out where she could be before opening her eyes and taking a look. All she could hear was that reassuring hum coming from all around her. She let out a breath of relief, knowing that she was safely in the TARDIS.
Her head eventually stopped spinning, and she dared to open her eyes. Kari almost jumped out of her skin when she noticed the pair of eyes gazing straight back at her. "You okay down there?" The bow tie wearing Doctor asked her, kneeling on the glass floor in front of her.
She nodded her head at him. "Uh, yeah, I just didn't expect to open my eyes and find you right in front of me." Kari admitted. "So, uh, what exactly are you doing on the floor?"
The Doctor grinned at her a little. "Making sure that you're okay." He quickly helped her up from the floor of the TARDIS, a huge grin still spread across his face. "What have you been up to then?"
Kari looked at him suspiciously. He was acting a little… off, more strange than normal, and that stupid grin that he was wearing was definitely not helping. "Hanging out with two different versions of you." She ended up telling him, trying to work out what was going on. "You know, sexy man in the suit and the cricketer with the stick of celery."
"Oh…" Finally his grin faltered. "Oh, you've just been…"
He didn't get to finish what he was going to say, as Kari quickly reached up and put a finger against his lips, stopping him from saying anything else. "Don't… please, just don't. It's over and done with, for both of us. I don't want to talk about it and I know you don't either." Kari told him softly.
However, the Doctor seemed to disagree with her, as he gently pulled her finger away and took hold of her hand. "Kari, it's okay. What you went through, what you and Martha saw… it really is okay, Kari." He simply looked at her, watching her as his words flittered around in her mind.
The Doctor knew that she hadn't really told him about anything that had happened, there had been too many other things going on. As soon as she had her memories back, the Master was dead and a ship was crashing into the TARDIS. She had been taken away from him for a year, and the Doctor wasn't entirely sure if she was okay with that. He knew that some people would get too attached, too clingy, after something like that had happened, Kari had done it before, but right now he didn't know what to expect from her.
All Kari did was smile at him. "Doctor, I'm okay. Yeah, it was a tough time, it was a tough time for all of us. But it's over now, right? We haven't got to worry about any of that anymore. So, can we just move on and get on with the rest of our lives?" She asked him, smiling at him. Only, it was a false smile, because for once, Kari was doing everything she could to hold back the tears and this time she was succeeding. She was determined not to get emotional anymore, she had to keep it together.
The man standing before her eyed her with worry, because he could see what she was doing, and he had been afraid that would be her decision. "Kari, everything that you went through…"
"Is over. It's done, Doctor, it's in the past. We're not going to be going back there, so it can firmly stay in the past." Although her voice was coming out strong and commanding, inside Kari just wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go.
"Yes, but Kari…"
All she did was roll her eyes at him, before using the way that he usually did to distract her, to distract him instead. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down slightly and forcing their lips to touch. It took a moment for the Doctor to realise what was happening, but he didn't seem to protest.
The minutes seemed to pass slowly, but eventually they broke apart, both of them had a red tint to their cheeks. "Now, what exactly have you been up to then, mister?" Kari asked him, glad that she had managed to get him to shut up and hopefully move on from what he had been thinking about.
"Oh, uh, not a lot really." The Doctor told her, still seeming to be in a little bit of a daze after their kiss. "Tried to take Amy to Rio, it… it didn't really go too well."
Kari's eyes widened a little, understanding why it didn't go to well. "Rory…" The Doctor just nodded at her, before wrapping his arms around her tightly. "And Amy… Amy she can't…" It was clear that Kari was upset, even though she knew what was going to happen in the future, she had even been there already. "She can't remember him." And now Kari knew what that was like.
After everything that had happened with the Master, Kari now knew how Amy was feeling. But she also understood how the Doctor had been feeling during that time, the time when she couldn't remember him, because she had seen how badly it had affected Rory when Amy didn't recognise him. It had always been hard to watch, to know how it was going to go, but it was completely different when you had to go through it.
"She'll be all right." The Doctor eventually whispered to her, still holding onto her, keeping her close. "So come on then, where shall we take our Pond?"
Kari had to stand there and think about it. She remember that the Doctor was going to take her to Arcadia, and the Trojan Gardens, but there had to be more places to take her before going to see Vincent Van Gogh. The only thing was, she really didn't know of anywhere to take her. "I… I don't really know." She managed to stutter, really having no idea what to suggest.
All the Doctor could do was look at her with a strange expression. It was a mixture of concern and surprise, because he had been confident that Kari would at least have some sort of idea of where they could take Amy. "Well, you've got some time to think about it, she only went to bed a few hours ago." He informed her, giving her a little more time to come up with something spectacular, like she always did.
"Uh… yeah, yeah okay." Kari muttered, still actually trying to think of somewhere. Why was it suddenly so hard for her to think of somewhere?
"In the mean time, what do you say to going and having a nice cuppa?" The Doctor asked her, hoping that just sitting down and relaxing would help her to think of something. His response came as a nod from the woman, who was still thinking hard.
He ended up leading her to the kitchen, holding her hand tightly as they walked through the corridors of their ship. She was so lost in her thoughts and concentration that she failed to even notice that the Doctor had made her tea and that she was sitting there with it in her hands. It was only when she faintly heard the Doctor say something to her that she looked up at him. "Huh?" She asked, not really having a clue about what he had said.
The Doctor tried his best not to frown at her. "I was wondering if you had thought of anything yet?" He lied. In truth, he had asked her if she really was all right, and reminded her that she could always talk to him, about anything. But the look on her face made him realise that she was in her own little world and hadn't heard a thing. He was actually glad, because she would just moan at him and tell him to stop worrying so much.
"Oh, right. Well, I'm still not sure." Kari admitted, trying to quickly think of something. "I don't know, maybe… maybe somewhere that she never thought existed? Somewhere that we aren't going to have trouble following us." A small grin spread across her face. "Maybe we can take her to Narnia? Or Wonderland! I want to meet the mad hatter."
She watched as the Doctor rolled his eyes at her. "Narnia? Wonderland? Have you been reading those, again?" He ended up asking her.
"Nope, I just can't really think of anything." Kari had to finally admit to him that she had absolutely no idea where to take Amy Pond. "Okay, here's a list of requirements. All you have to do is find the place." She ended up saying, trying to pull something together. "So, somewhere warm, that's a definite, it has to be warm. Not all high-tech and futuristic, no spaceships or space stations and stuff like that. Somewhere where the view is just going to take her breath away…"
The Doctor had been listening to her carefully, and was narrowing down a list of places in his head as she spoke. "Anything else?"
"Somewhere safe, I really meant it when I said somewhere that trouble isn't going to follow us." Kari knew that Amy deserved to have a nice, relaxing treat. "Maybe I should just take her to a spa for the day."
"And what would I be doing while the pair of you get yourselves all primped and pampered?" The Doctor asked her, but with a pout on his face, showing that he wasn't really annoyed with her suggestion.
Kari just smiled at him. "Well, you could get all primped and pampered as well. You could definitely do with a manicure." She told him, picking up his hands and inspecting his nails. "You really do need to stop chewing your nails, dear. I mean, just look at them?"
He saw the grin on her face, and knew that she was only teasing him. "Actually I think I have the perfect place we can take Amelia."
The grin on Kari's face dropped and she looked at him with a little more worry. "You called her Amelia. You only call her that when something is wrong." She remembered this, and she remembered it well. He would call Amy by her real name when something was wrong or he was worrying about her, and that could only mean trouble. "I mean, I know you're worried about her because of Rory, I am as well."
The Doctor shook his head at her a little with a soft smile on his face. "It's not just Amy that I'm worried about." He admitted. "But that doesn't matter. I know where we can take her when she wakes up."
Kari eyed him suspiciously, knowing that he was hiding something. She already knew that he was probably worrying about her as well, he was always worrying about her, even when there was no need to. "And are you going to tell me where this place is then?"
Once again, his head shook, only this time there was a slightly bigger smile on his face. "No, you're just going to have to wait and find out." He said, causing Kari to slump back in her chair a little as she finally lifted up her mug and drank some of her tea. "Now, since that is decided, what would my beautiful, brilliant Kari, like to do before our Amy wakes up?"
She didn't really have anything in mind, Kari was always happy to just hang around in the TARDIS with him because what they were doing never really mattered much to her. Kari liked just having the Doctor around, but she did like it more when there wasn't a monster, or alien, or some kind of threat going on around them. "I don't feel like going to the library, and I don't fancy a swim either." She told him, trying to remember all the amazing rooms that filled the ship. "Not exactly in the mood of any kind of sport, I'm feeling lazy and just can't be bothered."
The Doctor chuckled a little at her, finding it amusing how she was just listing off things that she didn't want to do, rather than did want to do. "We could always watch a film or two?"
"No, I don't really feel in the mood to sit there staring at a screen for a few hours. There has to be something that we can do. Something that will keep you occupied and out of trouble for a few hours." She wasn't paying attention to the Doctor's face, so she didn't see his eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
"Right, come on then." The Doctor said, surprising her by grabbing hold of her hand, forcing her out of the chair. He didn't care that she hadn't finished drinking her tea, it didn't even register to him that she only just managed to put the mug down before tea spilled everywhere.
"Yeah, okay, where are we going?" Kari asked him, as he dragged her out of the kitchen and through the corridors.
The Doctor kept a smile plastered across his face, his long strides making it a little difficult for Kari to keep up with him. "Oh, you'll see when we get there." He told her cryptically.
Kari let out a groan, letting him continue to drag her through the TARDIS. She knew that there was no point in badgering him to tell her, because she knew that he wouldn't. He was in one of those moods where he was easily excited, and where his mind just would not calm down for even a second.
To her surprise, they ended up back in the console room. The Doctor was quick to release Kari into one of the chairs, before bouncing around like the mad man he was. All she could do was watch him, as the room started to shake a little as they travelled through time and space.
It was only a few minutes later when there was a thud, and she knew they had landed. "So, where are we then, Doctor?" She asked him, just wondering what it was that was going on in his head.
All the Doctor did was smile at her, as he bounded over to her and held out his hand, waiting for her to take it. With a suspicious look, Kari carefully placed her hand in his, before she was yanked out of the chair and dragged over to the doors. He didn't open them straight away, he just gazed at Kari for a few moments. "You're thinking of what would make Amy happy, of what we could do to make her smile." He told her softly, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "But what about you, Kari? What do you want? What would make you happy?"
"Me? Well, I…I…" Kari stuttered, having not expected him to even ask her that. "I… I don't want anything, Doctor. Why would I when I've got you? All I need to be happy is you, and I've got that."
He looked at her, a soft, gentle smile on his face. Without any kind of warning, he leaned closer and kissed her, taking her completely by surprise. Once again, Kari could feel her hearts pounding in her chest, like they always did when the Doctor did something like that.
"And you have always got me, Kari." He whispered to her, finally breaking away and allowing them both to breathe. "No matter what happens, no matter where we are, you will always have me."
Something didn't feel right to Kari now. The way the Doctor was speaking to her, the things he was saying, it was making her even more suspicious. She knew that he was likely to be worrying about what had happened back where she had just been, but she really just wanted to push it all to the side and forget about it. She didn't want to talk about it, to talk about how she had believed the Master and everything he had said. Kari didn't want to remember that she had stood beside him, and said things that broke the Doctor's hearts.
"And you've always got me." Kari told him, still trying to work out what was going on. "I know that in the past we have both said some terrible things to each other, done things that have hurt each other, but it was never intentional." When saying that, she was thinking back to what had happened after 1941. For some reason that was always her worst moment. "And I know that there are worse days to come. But after all of that, after everything we go through, we will always be together at the end of it."
As she looked at the Doctor, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. The last of the Time Lords, the On Coming Storm, was standing there, gazing at her, with tears rolling down his cheeks. It was a sight that Kari never even imagined seeing. Since she didn't know what to say, she carefully reached up and placed a hand on the Doctor's cheek, wiping away the tears as she did.
"Kari…" He whispered, his own hand reaching up and covering hers. "I don't know what I'd do without you. After what's just happened, with Amy and…" The Doctor trailed off, not really knowing how to say it, not wanting to say it. "I miss you when you're gone. It doesn't matter if it's only for a few minutes, hours or days, I always miss you."
"I know you do, Doctor, I know. But you know I am always going to come back. I wish, so badly, that my life had been completely linear to yours. I wish that we had met on Gallifrey, travelled, and gone through all of those wonderful, amazing adventures together. I wish that I didn't jump from one place to another, that I was always there, every single minute of every single day." And it was completely true. Kari wished so badly that she didn't have to keep jumping, that she could just stay and travel with the Doctor and stay linear with him. But she knew that wasn't possible, it was never going to happen. "But that isn't my life. That isn't your life. Everything in our lives is always so complicated. You have so many memories of great adventures with me, but I don't have them yet."
"But you will, Kari. One day, you will have been everywhere I have been, done everything I have, seen the whole universe with me." The Doctor told her, not failing to notice that her voice had been quivering a little while she had been speaking. "One day, you will have everything."
Kari couldn't help but shake her head at him. "No I won't. How can I?"
At her words, the Doctor couldn't help but frown. "What do you mean? You have the whole of the universe, the whole of time and space to explore."
"And that… that isn't everything to me." Kari admitted to him. She wasn't sure how things had turned around like it had, how it had gone from thinking of somewhere fantastic to take Amy, to talking about her and the Doctor. "I can… everything I've ever dreamed… I can… I can never have it. That isn't my life any more, Doctor."
"I don't… I don't understand…"
All Kari could do was smile at him sadly. "The life I wanted before I met you, that is never going to happen. But that… that's okay. It was never going to happen anyway."
But now the Doctor was curious. It wasn't every often that he managed to get Kari to talk about what she wanted, even if it was before she met him, which still hadn't happened for him. "What did you want, Kari? Tell me, what was the life you wanted before all of this?" But she didn't answer him, she just shook her head. "Kari, how do you know it's never going to happen? There is so much that you don't know, but maybe I do. So please, tell me."
Kari swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "I can't. Just… please, Doctor, don't. Just… don't." It was clear that she didn't want to talk about it, that she didn't want to share it with the Doctor. He knew that he had to drop it, even though he really didn't want to. There was a reason why he asked her, and that reason wouldn't change, not until he had an answer from her.
"I know how much you hate spoilers, but please, Kari, just tell me. All I ever want is to make you happy, tell me how I can do that?" The Doctor pleaded with her.
"I told you, as long as I've got you, I'm happy. I don't need anything else, Doctor. What I wanted before doesn't matter, it's the past, and it's over with. Please… it just doesn't matter." He could see how badly Kari was trying to keep herself together, to stop those tears from falling, to keep herself strong. He knew what was happening, and it hurt him to see it.
Because of what had happened with the Master, her hearts were hardening a little, and he knew they would continue to do so until he stopped it, until he had showed her just how much she meant to him. And inside, a small part of him died seeing her that way. "It does matter, and it will always matter. Kari… please…"
But even by begging, Kari wasn't going to tell him. "No, Doctor. It really does not matter. My life before I met you just doesn't matter. Now please, just leave it where it belongs."
The Doctor wanted to say something, in fact, he was desperate to say something, but he didn't. He held his tongue and pushed everything that he wanted to ask aside. "Come on, there's something I wanted to show you." He said, his hand moving to the latch of the door, ready to pull it open.
Kari let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he was finally dropping the subject and leaving it alone. However, she wasn't entirely sure that he was going to leave it for long, and she knew she had to be ready for when he brought it up once more. Kari didn't know if she was ever going to be ready, ready to tell the Doctor of everything she had ever dreamed, the things she had wanted most in life. She knew she could never have that now, and although it hurt her to know that, she still wouldn't trade her life now for it.
Instead of worrying over it all any more, the Doctor finally pulled both of the doors to their magical ship open. He pulled Kari forward as she just stared out of the TARDIS, her eyes completely locked on the sight before her.
"The Daleram System, also known as the Rainbow System." The Doctor told her quietly. He could see that she was amazed by what she was seeing, and that was exactly what he had wanted. "So, what do you think?"
Kari's mouth opened, but no words came out. What she was seeing was stunning and it really did have her transfixed. But there was something else, there was something more about it all. She remembered back to that marble she had gotten with Martha before Christmas with her and the Doctor. She had seen something so very much like the sight before her in that orb.
The Doctor could see her stunned expression still, and pulled her to the edge of the doorway, helping her to sit down. With both of them sitting there, their legs hanging over the edge and out into space, Kari thought that everything was just perfect. For her, it was one of those perfect moments that she wished she could freeze and keep it with her forever.
An arm was wrapped around her, and she shifted closer towards the Doctor, resting her head against him. "What causes all the different colours?" Kari asked him, watching the swirls of colour. Every planet seemed to be a different colour, and she could understand why it was called the Rainbow System.
"Oh, don't spoil it with the science of it all." The Doctor said to her, giving her a little nudge. Kari just rolled her eyes at him, before snuggling closer to him and enjoying the view. It was a rare moment for them, to actually stop and look at the universe for a while, and she wasn't going to complain, nor was she going to ruin it. After everything that had happened, she was just happy to be there with the Doctor.
A/N: Okay, so I know you were probably all expecting this chapter to be the start of the voted Clara episode, but there are a few more things to come before that. Sorry.
Big thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed the story. It's nice to know people are still reading it and enjoying it. And for all of you lovely, wonderful people that have taken the time to leave a review, thank you all zoo much! I love reading them, I really do, it always makes me smile.
Right, time for me to shut up and get on with things. For those who read my other stories, I am working on them, but time has not been on my side and I've either been working or sleeping. I hope to have that over with soon!
Until next week!
Pippa.