A/N: Hy guys! Just a tiny bit early, because I'm awake and can't get back to sleep. Apologies for any spelling and grammatical errors that may be present.
Kari found herself sitting outside of the spa complex, once again gazing up at the waterfalls. She didn't know why, she couldn't even begin to explain it, but just watching it seemed to help calm her down. She knew she had been snappy with Amy, she had been horrible to her when there really had been no need. But she couldn't help it, she just wanted people to leave her alone.
Everything that had happened, everything that the Master put her through, the things that she witnessed, she didn't want to remember it, she didn't want to talk about it. Kari wished that people would understand that and just leave it alone. As far as she was concerned, it was over and done with.
Too much had happened in such a short space of time. She still wasn't totally over what had happened with Balavin, and what she had done to the Doctor. Then, she was thrown straight in with the Master, without even having a chance to tell the Doctor what had been going on and where she had been.
She rested her head in her hands, trying to banish all thoughts from her mind. The dreams, the nightmares, they still lingered. Kari was no longer relaxed and at ease, she was more stressed than before, the worry of what would happen the next time she fell asleep now playing on her mind. "Pull it together. He isn't here. Right now, he is gone. It's over. It's done with." She muttered to herself as she sat there, trying to convince herself that everything was fine.
Somewhere in the distance, she heard the familiar wheezing and grinding noise that she associated with the TARDIS. The Doctor was back, no doubt because Amy had already told him what had happened. But Kari couldn't face him just yet, not until she had sorted herself out, pulled herself back together again.
While she was sitting there, the Doctor was catching up with Amy. "And she didn't tell you anything?" He asked her with worry.
Amy shook her head at him, a sad look on her face. "Nothing. When I asked her, she just shoved me away. Doctor, I'm so worried about her. She was acting so different, so… broken."
The Doctor closed his eyes and tried not to think of what could have been in those nightmares that Kari was having. "Amy, she is broken. Everything that happened broke her. She's dealing with it in the only way she knows how, she's pushing it all to the back and just moving on." When he opened his eyes, Amy could have sworn they were glistening with tears. "And the more she does that, the more damage she will do."
"Then what do we do?"
A sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his head slightly. "We act like nothing is wrong. For now, at least. She'll come round eventually, soon it shall all get too much for her and she will have a complete breakdown. And we have to be ready to help her when she does."
Only Amy wasn't so sure about that. "Doctor, do you really think that is the best thing to do? I mean, the look in her eyes, she scared me, Doctor. It was like she wasn't Kari any more."
"Amy, right now she isn't. Right now she is only a shell, a fragment of the Kari that we know. The pieces have been scattered, and we have to help her to find them and put them back together." But the Doctor knew there were some pieces that he would never be able to help her with.
He remembered back to the conversation they had, when they were waiting for Amy to wake up after she had appeared in the TARDIS. He thought back to what he had said to her, and how she had answered him. The Doctor still didn't know what she had wanted before they had met, before they had entered each other's lives. All he knew was that it had upset her, and it could have helped to break her even further.
"So where do we start?" It was clear to see that Amy still wasn't convinced. She could see that there was something more going on that neither of them were telling her, she knew when they were hiding something.
"Ah, well, it's not us that are going to start it." The Doctor told her, having realised that Amy had no idea what he had been up to while the pair of them had been in the spa. "I had to take a quick trip to pick someone up. Now, are very few people in the universe that can get through to Kari, and right now, she's need them."
Amy narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion. "So, you left to go and pick someone else up?" The Doctor nodded at her. "And who exactly is this someone?"
"That doesn't matter. Right now, what matters is finding Kari. She's had long enough to cool down, now it's time to find her and take her back to the TARDIS." He was quick to stride forwards, back towards the spa, ready to go and find his Kari.
She was still sitting in exactly the same place, her mind still reeling over everything. At no point had she cried since walking away from Amy, and for that she was actually rather proud of herself. Kari was sick of crying, of always being so weak and emotional. No more. That was what she had decided, no more would she be the silly little girl, crying over every little thing. She had to be stronger than that, she had to break away from it all.
"Crying won't make it any better." Kari muttered to herself. "Crying won't solve anything. Crying only makes you weak. Don't get emotional, that's when you make mistakes. Emotions make you weak." She suddenly let out a growl of frustration and quickly stood up. "Pull it together and get over it, Kari. It's over, it's done with, it's in the past."
Instead of just standing there, or pacing around the same place for any longer, she began to aimlessly walk. She wasn't paying much attention to where she was going, so she didn't see the person heading straight towards her. As she bumped into them, they lightly grabbed hold of the tops of her arms. "Watch where you're go…" She growled, before looking up and seeing the Doctor just gazing at her.
"I was watching where I was going, it's you that seemed to be off in your own little world." The Doctor told her, searching her eyes, desperately trying to find his Kari. He knew she was there somewhere, somewhere behind all the hurt and anger. "Amy's ready to leave, you ready to go?" Kari just looked at him a nodded a little.
She hadn't missed the way that he had been looking at her, the anxiety there in his eyes. "Where are we off to now then?" Kari decided to ask him, making sure to avoid talking about her and how she was feeling.
"Oh, I can think of a few more places to take you and Amy. But first, how about we go back to the TARDIS and have a nice cup of tea?" He asked her, doing his best to act as normal as he could. If he showed the worry, it would start to annoy her and she would most likely begin shouting, like she had done with Amy.
"Yeah, sure." There was no enthusiasm in her voice, and when the Doctor let go of her arms and reached for her hand, she didn't even try to reach for his. He ended up giving her a pleading look, his hand still before her and empty. With a sigh, Kari lifted up her hand, and placed it in the Doctor's. A huge smile took over his face, and he pulled her hand up, gently kissing the back of it, before the pair of them began to walk back towards their ship.
They walked in silence, but the Doctor was playing with the ring on Kari's finger as they walked. He knew of little things that he could to that would ease her, that would calm her down and help her to feel safe. 900 years was a long time to get to know someone and all their little traits, so he certainly knew Kari's.
Amy was just arriving at the TARDIS as the same time as them, a smile on her face as she looked over at them. "Hey, you both took your time. We all ready to go now?" She asked them, keeping a smile plastered across her face as she watched them. The red head knew that she had to be careful around Kari now, and she was going to act as if nothing had happened back in the spa.
By now, Kari knew that something was going on. She was pretty sure that Amy had told the Doctor what had happened, and she had expected him to be fussing over her and asking her what had happened and why and if she was all right. But he hadn't. And Amy was acting as if everything was completely fine. That worried her.
"Yup, all ready to go. So come on, let's hit the open road." The Doctor said cheerfully, unlocking the door to the TARDIS, having finally let go of Kari's hand. "Oh there are so many things out there to see, so many places." He rambled, rushing inside and straight away beginning to bounce around the console.
Kari hung back, letting Amy go in before following and closing the door behind her. Amy and the Doctor both seemed happy, really happy. Amy had no idea what had happened, that she had lost her beloved Rory Williams. She had no idea that half of her life was missing. It really was difficult for Kari to watch, but at least she knew Amy was surrounded by people she could trust, people who wouldn't lie to her.
"Kari? Kari?" The Doctor called, making her shake her head and look at him in bewilderment. "Do you want to go and make the tea? Amy's gone to get changed. I'll get us into orbit and then we can all sit down and have a nice cuppa."
She nodded at him, wondering just how long she had been standing there for. "Uh, yeah. Sure. See you in a bit." She mumbled to him, before wandering through the impossibly large ship and off to the kitchen.
Once she was there, she started pottering about, making the tea in a bit of a daze. Everything she done, she done without realising it. She pulled out three mugs, grabbed her favourite teapot, and tossed the teabags into it. She had filled up the kettle with water and turned it on, and she was utterly confused when she realised she had done everything.
She was staring at the kettle, waiting for it to finish boiling the water, when she heard the door open. "Tea's almost ready. Just waiting for the water." She muttered, before she felt a hand on her shoulder. A frown formed on her face, because it didn't feel like the Doctor's hand, and he would usually wrap his arms around her.
"The tea can wait, Princess." A voice whispered to her softly.
Kari slowly turned her head, her eyes fixing on the owner of the voice. Her eyes were slightly wider, and she could feel her chest tightening. She swallowed the lump in her throat, the one that wanted to escape as a sob. "Jack, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be monitoring the rift or something?" She asked him, trying to keep it together.
"I got a whole team that can look after the rift. There are very few people that can look after my Princess." He told her seriously, giving her a rather firm look.
"I don't need looking after, Jack. What I really need is for people to stop badgering me and to let me get on with things." She retorted, turning away from him and grabbing the kettle that had moments ago flicked off.
Jack scoffed at her, knowing she was going to keep trying to avoid talking about anything. "Yeah, because we all know how well that's going to work out."
"I'm not doing this, Jack. So you can go and tell the Doctor that he has totally wasted his time in sneaking off to Cardiff and picking you up." She told him, waiting for the tea to finish brewing before pouring it out.
"And what exactly is it that you're not doing, Kari?" He was playing dumb, it was the only way to find out what the hell was going on inside that head of hers. The Doctor couldn't work it out, and Jack was just going to have to give it his best shot.
She let out a sigh as she poured the tea into her mug, and only her mug. "This. I know what you're doing, or at least what you're trying to do. I do not want to talk about it, because there is nothing to talk about. It's over, Jack. And so is this conversation." She picked up her mug after adding a splash of milk and walking out of the kitchen.
Jack just stood there, wondering what the hell had happened to the woman that had become his little sister. When the Doctor had told him that Kari was struggling with everything that had happened, he had never expected it to be that bad. He just assumed she would be a complete and utter mess, like she usually was when she couldn't cope and had an emotional breakdown. But this was something different, and now he understood why the Doctor had been so worried.
A few minutes later, after trying to think of something to do or say to Kari, the Doctor came into the room. He noticed that Jack was alone in the room and let out a sigh. "I take it she didn't want to talk?"
The man simply shook his head. "Nope. Told me that she wasn't doing it, that there was nothing to talk about." He said, remembering how cold she had been. "Told me to let you know that it was a complete waste of time picking me up and bringing me here. Then she took her tea and walked out."
The Doctor ran his hand through his wild hair. Jack couldn't help but notice that even he looked worn down now. He hadn't noticed it before, but now he could see it clearly, the worry in the Doctor's eyes and the way he just couldn't keep his hands still for more than a few seconds. "I don't know what to do, Jack. I've seen what could happen, how much she could change if we don't find a way to get through to her."
That was when Jack realised just how serious the whole situation was, and how much the whole deal with Master had affected her. "Doctor, what have you seen? How bad could this get?"
"Very bad." The Doctor replied, before letting himself collapse into one of the chairs at the table. "If we don't get through to her, Kari will shut off all her emotions. She's already starting to do it, thinking that her emotions are making her weak." He explained, before letting out a sigh. "If Kari carries on like this, her hearts will essentially turn to stone. She won't be Kari anymore, she will just be an empty shell and nothing more."
"Then we just keep trying." Jack announced, not will to let it get to that point. He was not going to lose his Princess, not for anything in the universe. He would do whatever it took to make sure she was safe, to make sure that she got through all of this. "We try for a long as it takes, Doctor."
"But how? What exactly can we do?" It was plain to see that the Doctor was desperate now, and that he was growing more and more frustrated and troubled.
Jack had no idea what to do either. "How long ago was it now? For her, I mean. How long ago was the year that never was?"
"From what I can work out, only a few days." The Doctor admitted to him.
The look on Jack's face was a mixture of surprise and uncertainty. "So, it really hasn't been that long for her then?" The Doctor shook his head. "So, how long has she been here for then? You gotta tell me what's been going on, Doctor. I want to help, but I need the facts."
"She arrived yesterday. She had just been with me, right after we had left you in Cardiff and Martha made her choice to stay with her family." The Doctor explained to her. "I remember when Martha left, and Kari she… she seemed fine. She was happy and smiling, giggling away and poking fun at me. She was her normal, happy and bubbly self." A sigh escaped his lips. "Then she came here. As soon as she told me where she had just been, she started tell me she didn't want to talk about it. It was soon after that she began to close herself off."
Jack nodded at him, before finally sitting down at the table as well. "Doc, she needs a little more time. It was such a short time ago for her, and it's still going to be pretty raw. Now, I know you're worried about her, I am as well. That woman that I was talking to, that wasn't my Princess. But she needs some time to come to terms with everything. This has hit her really hard, she isn't going to get over it in the blink of an eye. All we can do is be there, ready to catch her when she finally falls. Because it will happen, Doctor, we just don't know when."
The Doctor could see the sense in his words, but he was still struggling to believe it. "But what if it takes too long, Jack? You know how much Kari mean's to me, and she… she is still so far behind. There are so many things that she doesn't know."
"Come on, you just need to give her some time and some space." Jack said, trying his best to reassure him that everything would be okay in the end. Jack knew just was well as the Doctor how badly Kari handled things at times. They both knew that she would usually have a mental breakdown, and usually it was pretty quickly, but there was a possibility that this one time, it was going to take a little bit longer.
"I asked her what she wanted, Jack." The Doctor's voice came out quietly, as he thought back to how the conversation just seemed to turn from one thing to another when she had arrived. "I asked her what would make her happy. We talked, and I told her that one day she would have been everywhere with me, and that she will have everything. She disagreed with me."
Jack couldn't stop the frown from forming on his face. "Did she say anything else?"
"She admitted that having the whole of time and space to travel through wasn't everything to her. Everything she had ever dreamed of was something that she could never have, not now, not after meeting me."
Straight away Jack could see where the Doctor's train of thought was heading, and he had to put a stop to it quickly. "No, Doctor. Don't even think that. Kari had a different life before she met you, before she met any of us. She didn't know any of this was real, she was living a normal life on Earth. Her dreams probably consisted of the same thing that millions of humans think of. Getting a good job, earning loads of money and having a nice house." He told him, wanting to stop the Doctor from thinking that Kari would never have what she wanted because of him. "She doesn't need a job or money, and I already got her that house. People change, Doctor, and so does the things that they want."
The Doctor understood Jack's words, and he desperately wanted to believe them. But there was a little bit of doubt, scratching away in his mind, telling him that he had taken Kari away from everything she every truly wanted. "But what was it, Jack? What was it that she wanted to badly that I've taken away from her?"
"Enough, Doctor. Seriously, enough." The man ended up growling at him. "One problem at a time. Right now we need to focus on getting Kari back. Our Kari, my Princess, your fiancée, she is our priority." Jack told him sternly, moments before the kitchen door opened.
They both looked over, hoping that it would be Kari returning for more tea or something else. Only they were both slightly disappointed when the resident red head paused in the doorway. "Uh, hello. Am I… am I interrupting something?" Amy asked, looking between the Doctor and the man she had never met before.
Another sigh managed to escape from the Doctor's lips. "No, it's fine, Amy. We were just talking about Kari, trying to work out what to do."
"I told you, Doc, she needs time." Jack said, not really paying much attention to the woman standing there. "This hasn't been easy for her, she had it worse than any of us."
"I know, I know…"
Amy finally decided to step away from the door, and headed over to the pot of tea that Kari had made, but only finished make for herself. She grabbed another mug out of the cupboard for the new man that she had yet to be introduced to. "He's right, Doctor. Just give her some time and space to cool off. She told me that she just wanted people to stop talking about it, to leave it alone. Maybe… maybe that's what we need to do for now."
Jack turned around in the chair and smiled up at the woman. "Captain Jack Harkness." He said, introducing himself with his signature flirtatious smile.
"Amy, Amy Pond." She replied, a blush creep up her neck as he reached out of her hand and kissed the back of it.
"Jack…" The Doctor said in a low warning. "Don't."
"I was only saying hello." The man moaned. "Really, can I not say hello to anyone anymore?"
Amy chuckled a little as she turned away and finally made everyone some tea. A few minutes later, and the three of them were sitting around the table in the kitchen, holding their mugs tightly. "So, if you don't mind me asking, who exactly are you, and why are you here?" She asked, taking a sip of her tea.
"I'm here to look after my little sister." Jack told her, letting out a long breath. "Only she doesn't want anyone to look after her, she doesn't even want to talk to me."
"No, I heard what you were saying before. This is about how Kari is acting, isn't it? You were there, weren't you? When all of this stuff happened, you were there as well?" Jack nodded to her, a grim look on his face. He didn't like to remember it, to think about it too much, but it had happened much longer ago from him than for Kari. "And do you think that it's fair to say that she is entitled to act how she is at the moment after all of that?"
Her question actually surprised him a little, as well as the Doctor. "Well, yeah, I guess. Most of the time she has a break down, but this… this was huge. The things she saw, everything that… "He trailed off, not wanting to go into it too much. "I think, this one time, she is totally entitled to need more time to get over it."
A small smile stretched across Amy's face. "Then that's what we do. We give her time. It's clear she doesn't want to talk about it right now, because it's still too fresh. She's having nightmares about it, and that's just a huge reminder of what happened." Both of the men were listening to Amy intently. "I saw how scared she was when she woke up, she's trying to put on a front at the moment. But eventually, that will crumble, and we will be there to help her. Isn't that what you said, Doctor?"
The Doctor nodded at her slightly, still trying to get everything straight in his head. He knew that Kari needed time, that she needed to get herself together in her own way. But he wanted to be there for her, to help her, to let her know that she wasn't alone. He cared too much to watch her suffer like she was. And maybe that was his problem, maybe he was smothering her too much.
Jack quickly drank the rest of his head, gently putting the mug back down on the table as he pushed his chair away. "I'm going to go and find Kari. She may not want to talk about what happened, but I want to talk to her. Been a while since I last saw my Princess, I want to actually catch up with her as well."
The Doctor nodded at him, and Amy smiled as she watched the man with an American accent leave. "So, that's Kari's big brother then?" She asked, smiling a little. She had never met him before, but had heard a lot about him.
"Yeah, Jack's her big brother. Not her real brother, but still…"
"Doctor, everything is going to be all right." Amy assured him, reaching across the table and giving his hand a squeeze. "You and Kari have gone through so much, I know you will both get through this as well." All the Doctor could do was force a smile at the woman. Everything had turned into a complete mess.
The whole day had gone from treating Amy and trying to fill the void that had been left behind when Rory had been erased from history, to worrying over Kari and everything that she was going through. The Doctor really didn't know how he was going to cope with it all, and he was glad that he had decided to pick Jack up. At least with him there, there was an extra pair of eyes on Kari.
Everyone was worried about someone, Kari wasn't worried about herself, she was worried about Amy. While Amy was worrying about Kari, and the Doctor. It was just a vicious cycle that wouldn't end unless someone got through to her, and Jack was hoping that he could, as he stopped outside of her bedroom door.
He knocked, and waited, hoping that she was inside and would at least talk to him, even if it was about clothes or shoes. He didn't care, as long as she was talking. "Hey, Kari? You got a minute?" He called through the door, hearing no moment on the other side. He knocked again, only a little louder. "I got birthday presents."
Suddenly the door clicked open, and so he pushed it all the way open. He saw Kari curled up on her bed, glaring at the wall. "Traitor." She grumbled, before rolling over and onto her other side. "And you don't have presents."
Jack let out a sigh. "Okay, so I don't have presents, but how else was I going to convince you to open the door?" He asked her, stepping inside of the room and softly shutting the door behind him. "Look, I come in peace." He told her, holding his hands up. "I thought I might tell you about some of the things that have been going on at Torchwood. Unless you want to stay here and be grumpy all on your own."
"You can stay on one condition." She called from her spot on the bed. "You do not ask me if I'm okay, or all right, or whatever else you going running through that head of yours. I do not want to talk about what happened, so you even think of bringing it up, and I'll have to kill you."
From the tone of her voice, Jack knew she was being serious. "Okay, but I have a condition as well." Kari turned and looked at him, a puzzled look on her face. "You shift over and let me join you. Been a long time since I got to cuddle up with my little Princess."
With a feeble groan, she scooted over on her bed, making room for Jack to join her. He lay down beside her, but she still had her back to him. He soon rectified that by gently grabbing a hold of her, and pulling her towards him. He managed to turn her around so that she was facing him, even if her eyes were closed tightly. "So, how's the team?" Kari eventually muttered, starting some form of conversation.
She didn't want to admit it, but she was glad that Jack was there. She knew that he cared, and she knew that he wouldn't pressure her into talking about something if she didn't want to. The Doctor had a tendency to keep on pushing and pushing until she finally exploded, but not Jack. He gave her the time and space that she needed, he understood that she dealt with things in her own way, and he would never try to tell her what to do.
Having him there, laying beside her with his strong arms around her, she felt safe, she felt calm. Although she felt those things with the Doctor as well, with Jack it was totally different. She knew that Jack wouldn't keep asking if everything was okay, he wouldn't look at her with pleading eyes and asking her time and time again to talk to him. Jack knew when to back off and leave her be, but still comfort her and make her feel safe. That was what she wanted, she wanted to feel safe, even if it was only for a few hours. She wanted those few moments of peace before her world came crashing back down on her.
A/N: Okay, I've had a lot of people telling me I should be updating this more than just once a week. Unfortunately, I can't. Although this maybe be summer, I still have work and many other things going on in my life. I would love to spend all day sitting down and writing, but that isn't possible I'm afraid. Also, I don't want to ever post a rushed chapter for any of my stories, which is why this one gets regularly updated, and the others are updated when I've got the next chapter ready.
Sorry for the little bit of a rant, but I just needed to get that out there. So, I hope you all liked that chapter, and the fact that Jack is once again back! I've always imagined what would happened if you got Amy and Jack in the same room, I guess now we can all find out.
Big welcome and thank you to everyone who has favourited/followed the story recently. And, for all you lovely, wonderful, brilliant people who take the time to leave a review, thank you all so much!
Now, I know you're all waiting for the next episode to start, but just be patient, it will happen. There is still a few more bits to get through before the occurs.
Enjoy the weekend! See you all next week!
Pippa.