A/N: Lots of reviews! Yay! I am, however, forced to put up a new sign due to a review.
WARNING: This story might induce sleepiness and fuzzy feelings.
Wooden bars.
Great.
They had put him in a cot and he couldn't get out. He pushed off the blankets, wondering what was so wet and cold. When he realized what it was, he paled. How, HOW could he have wet his nappy? How could he not have noticed he needed to use the bathroom? Grabbing the bars in frustration, he managed to haul himself to his feet clumsily only to find he couldn't walk at all. He couldn't find the right balance. Climbing out was impossible.
Suddenly his legs gave way from under him, and he landed on the soggy diaper. Which was more than just wet, he now noticed. Oh Merlin, this was not happening to him! This couldn't be happening. Why wouldn't this horrible body obey him, why did it have to continue to humiliate him?
He rocked back and forth, feeling utterly miserable. He wasn't even aware of the tears running down his face.
That was how Albus found him nearly an hour later.
"Severus? What is it?"
He leaned over the cot and immediately smelled the problem. The child was sitting up, wet and cold.
"Oh, sweetheart," he lifted the child from the cot and wrapped him in one of the least damp blankets, "It's alright, don't cry. We're going to run you a nice warm bath and clean you up."
Severus was too shocked to care. He quietly allowed Dumbledore to undress him and remove the dirty nappy. He avoided looking at the man, afraid his treacherous body would betray him and he'd burst into tears. Soft hands lifted him and lowered him into warm water. The cold that had permeated his entire body slowly seeped away with the water.
"Is that better, hmmm?" Dumbledore gently eased him back, supporting him with one hand while washing his hair with the other.
"Who's my sweet boy, hmm?"
"Don't talk such nonsense, Albus," he commented tiredly, for once ignoring the babbling that emerged from his lips.
He grimaced when he was taken from the water – that was cold. But he was soon dried and wrapped in a soft towel.
"Let's find you some clothes from the pile Harry bought yesterday," Albus said, carrying the baby back to the bedroom and laying him down on his own huge bed.
"Merlin, Albus, it will be worth admitting that I kept my mind all along when I'm back to my proper age, if only to never let you live it down that you took me into your bed once," Severus said, amused.
Unfortunately, all Dumbledore understood was 'A-by' and a lot of cute sounding gurgling. Which triggered his paternal streak, and led to Severus being subject to a long cuddle much to his extreme dismay.
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Harry entered a little while later.
"Ah, there you are." Dumbledore handed Severus to the boy, "He has been bathed and dressed, but he still needs to be fed his breakfast."
"Of course," Harry shifted the child to his hip as he rummaged around the things he had bought the previous day.
"Ah, here." He took out a bottle and a small bowl with ducks painted on it. "Do you want a bottle, or porridge?"
"He's ten months old, Harry!" Dumbledore scolded, "he doesn't know the difference."
Harry ignored the old man.
Well, being fed by Potter was going to be awful either way, but if it had to happen he much preferred the porridge. He reached out and grabbed the bowl.
"Porridge it is, then," Harry sent a smirk at the bemused Headmaster.
Potter lifted him in a highchair and strapped him in – a good thing too, since his balance seemed to be so off whenever he tried to stand or move.
Meanwhile, the overexcited House Elf that had a Potter obsession – Molly? No, it was a 'he'…Dobby – had filled the bowl with a bland porridge.
Oh well. Better than nothing.
"I can feed myself, Potter," he tried to snarl as the brat held the spoon to his mouth. He made a grab for it, only to be thwarted by a hand taking his arm.
"I'm sorry, but you can't eat by yourself yet. Not if we don't want the Headmaster's room covered in porridge. Tell you what, for lunch I'll take you to the kitchens and ask the House Elves to create a space where you can feed yourself that's easy to clean."
The NERVE of the boy! Suggesting he was some kind of…of…BABY that couldn't be trusted to feed himself!
"A thousand points from hmpfrf…" his comments were cut short by Potter sticking a spoonful of porridge into his mouth.
It actually didn't taste as bad as it looked. He now noticed he was starving. He swallowed and opened his mouth impatiently for the next spoonful.
Ignoring Potter's giggle, he simply focused on his breakfast.
Filius had better hurry up with that blasted countercurse.
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"M-M-My L-Lord?"
"Yes, Lucius?"
"My Lord, I beg your mercy, but my son has sent me – news."
"Good or bad?"
Lucius was a bit confused. "I-I'm not sure, my Lord. Bad, I think."
"Well, what happened?"
"It is…it is Snape, Master. Draco tells me that Potter and his friends got into a fight, and when Snape tried to interfere, the combination of spells that hit him caused him to turn into an infant."
"An infant?" Voldemort sat stunned. "My Potions Master is a drooling baby?"
"According to Draco, yes, my Lord. He is currently in the care of Dumbledore. They are researching a countercurse."
"Ah. I have never heard, Lucius, of spells having this effect, even when combined…there are a few ancient ones that do that, but the only surviving copies of the books one could learn them from are in the Black library, my own library, yours, and Snape's. Who was Potter having an argument with in the first place?"
Lucius winced and cowered. "D-Draco, Master…"
Voldemort rolled his eyes, which looked especially creepy with the red slits. "I should have guessed. Very well. Bella, Rastaban, Narcissa – go find the countercurse. Lucius, go pick up Snape from Hogwarts."
"Master?"
Voldemort snarled impatiently, "Oh come on, Lucius, he's a baby. Surely even YOU can handle a baby?"
Secretly, Lucius thought he was probably more adept at handling a baby than the Dark Lord, but he valued his life too much to actually say that out loud.
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Severus sat on the floor of the office, watching Harry unpack a number of items.
"Now, the tricky thing is that I have no idea what these toys are and what they do, so we'll just have to experiment, okay?"
"Really, Potter, I'd have thought your relatives bought you every toy imaginable," Severus sneered.
Harry unpacked one . "Ah. I wonder what this is?"
He held a square box in his hands with several cut out forms in it. Small blocks of various shapes and sizes came with it.
"Oh for Merlin's sake, Potter, give it here."
Severus pulled the box close, grabbed one of the blocks and found the right hole to put it through. Actually fitting the block into it once he had found it proved a bit difficult with his uncooperative fingers, but he managed.
"Ah, excellent!" Potter smiled and turned back to the other things.
Uh oh. What did the brat have in mind now?
A small plastic cauldron was placed before him, as well as several largish containers. They seemed to contain colored dust, but there was no way to open them.
"I know it's nothing compared to what you work with as an adult, but I figured a master like you was born with the ability."
Severus tentatively picked up a container and experimentally shook it. Some dust sprinkled down and settled in the cauldron.
"Well, Potter, come and play," he smirked, "this kind of potions work is more of your skill level. I should get a set like this for you in class."
Potter picked up a toy dragon. "I wasn't allowed toys," he said softly, "it would've been nice."
No toys? No, Potter was just trying to gain his sympathy. Then again – he didn't know Severus could understand him. There was no point in lying. Oh, he had probably just misunderstood, that's all.
"Dudley got 39 presents for his eleventh birthday," Potter said, laying on his stomach on the carpet, playing with babytoys. Pathetic. Then again, HE was 37 and playing with babytoys.
"First time I got Christmas presents was great," the brat seemed to grow nostalgic now. At his age.
"My first Christmas here at Hogwarts. Mrs Weasley made me my first jumper."
He looked up, and smiled. "If you were an adult now, you'd just say I was lying for attention. Ah well. Now, do you prefer a stuffed teddybear or a stuffed unicorn to sleep with?"
They played for a long time. Or rather, Harry played. Severus was just testing toys so Potter wouldn't destroy them.
Finally, he yawned and rubbed his eyes.
"Time for lunch and a nap," Harry picked him up and they joined Dumbledore, who had just finished with the morning's paperwork.
"Ah, Harry. How did it go?"
"Very good, sir, he's a sweet kid. But now he needs lunch and a nap."
The mash he got wasn't bad either, but Severus did dearly wish someone would get him something SOLID. Liquids got boring, unless they were of the alcoholic kind, and he doubted they would give him any of those.
"I'll just change his diaper and put him to bed," Harry said when lunch was over.
Potter? Change him and put him to bed? That was so wrong there just were no words for it. Maybe one.
"WAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
No one would have been surprised if the House Elves down in the kitchen had gone deaf from that scream.
"Aby," Severus sobbed, "Aby."
"I think he wants you, sir," Potter caught on, "here."
Dumbledore took him from the boy, and held him up against his shoulder, softly rubbing his back.
"There you go, little one, no need to fret so. Naptime, my sweet boy."
Soon he was once again tucked in his crib, sucking his thumb unconsciously, all three of them blissfully unaware of a letter that was headed their way.
Something wicked their way came…