The whole week had gone by as a bit of a blur for Lucas. The day after Dan had left, Deb had stopped by the apartment to give him and Nathan the news of Dan's departure. She handed them each a letter that Dan had left on Deb's porch that morning. Nathan screwed the envelope into a ball and threw it across the room and stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him. Deb picked up the letter, straightened it as best she could and placed it on the coffee table.
"He'll read it when he's ready. Deb glanced nervously at the letter in Lucas' hand and sat down in the armchair by the window. Lucas silently mirrored her actions as he sat opposite her. "I have a letter for your mother also."
"Did he leave you one?" Lucas asked, curious as to what Dan could possibly say to his own mother. Deb shook her head and swallowed before replying.
"Dan and I said all we had to say last night. He's gone now, so we can all get on with our lives." Deb fidgeted with her purse and glanced around the room, purposely trying to avoid Lucas' eyes. For the first time since she arrived and told them the full story of the night before, Lucas noticed how bloodshot and dark Deb's eyes were. Feeling a little uncomfortable, Lucas moved toward Deb and kneeled beside her chair and covered her small hands with his own.
"Did you sleep at all last night? Deb, it's ok for you to be upset - you and Dan were married for a long time. You don't have to pretend that it doesn't bother you for mine and Nathan's sake. We're big boys, we'll deal with it in our own way." Deb finally lifted her gaze to Lucas, her eyes filled with unshed tears.
"He was a bastard and yet I feel like I've lost everything." Deb began to cry and Lucas pulled her into a hug, trying to offer as much comfort as he could while she sobbed. From behind him, he heard Nathan come out of his room, a distraught look on his face. An understanding passed between the brothers as Nathan moved in and took his shaking mother from Lucas and whispered words of reassurance into her ear. Lucas quietly stepped away into his room to read the letter his father left him.
Dear Lucas,
Do you know that I was the one who chose your name? From the moment your mother told me she was pregnant, I knew you were a boy. When the news had finally sunk in, I went straight out and bought you your first basketball jersey. I had 'Scott' printed on the back. It was the tiniest piece of clothing I had ever seen, and I couldn't wait for you to arrive so I could see you in it. I never did. Of course, you know the story - I went to college, met Deb and got her pregnant. I'll never forget the look on my parents face when I told them that there was a second girl out there that was carrying my child. It was the worst night of my life - it was the first time my father had ever laid a finger on me and he gave one hell of a licking. I made a choice, Lucas. I've never claimed it was the right one but I don't regret marrying Deb even though I loved your mother very much. I know how much I hurt her and that was part of the reason she wouldn't let me share custody of you. That and the fact that I was a complete bastard and she was right to keep me out of your life.
I spent 16 years trying not to think about what I was missing, but I couldn't help myself from knowing what was going on in your life. Those pictures you found in that lock box a few months ago were pictures I had swiped from Keith's collection. He was my only connection to you and I resented the fact that he was the only father figure you had. You were my son, but it was Keith who was teaching you to ride a bike, he saw your first steps and it was Keith who you went to for advice.
I know now what a mistake I made and I hurt both of my sons in the process. I encouraged Nathan to make your life miserable when you joined the Ravens, I wanted you to fail so that I could feel less guilty for abandoning you - convince myself that you weren't worth feeling guilty about. I wish now that you and Nathan had grown up together. I can only imagine the scrapes that the two of you would have gotten into - I can imagine you two being exactly the way Keith and I were when we were kids.
I hope you and Nathan can begin to put the past behind you now that I'm not standing in the way. You have no idea the joy it brought to me when you both became friends and played together on the team - I only wish that I could have been a part of your new relationship and not the enemy that you had teamed up against. Maybe someday we'll see each other again and things will be different. Maybe someday you'll call me Dad and mean it. I'm truly sorry for not knowing you, Lucas and I hope that you can forgive me. I'm proud of the man you've become and I want you to know that I do love you. Please take care of Nathan and your sister when she arrives. Good Bye.
Dan
Lucas didn't ask Nathan about his letter when he finally read it and vice versa. Neither of them spoke of Dan at all that week and Lucas figured that what Dan had to say to each of them would only ever be known to the person whose name was on the envelope. As the weeks were passing by and school was getting nearer, the iciness in the small apartment was thawing a little. Nathan was still being an ass but he had at least started to acknowledge Lucas' presence in the room and would argue with him about who's turn it was to go to the store and buy food. Haley and Peyton would spend a lot of time at the apartment and would act as peacekeepers when the two boys got out of hand. In fact, Haley would spend a lot of time at the apartment even when Lucas wasn't there which didn't seem to bother Nathan anymore. Maybe the two of them would work it out after all, Lucas thought.
"I saw Deb in the café this morning, she's really starting to show. She's four months already! Can you believe it?" Haley bounced along next to Lucas as they strolled down Tree Hill Main Street heading towards their favourite music store.
"Yup. And she's roped me and Nathan into decorating the nursery on Saturday." Lucas grinned as they entered the store. "Me. Nathan. Power tools and Paint. Things could get ugly."
Haley swatted his arm and rolled her eyes. Picturing Nathan and Lucas wrestling in baby pink paint made her laugh out loud. Lucas and Haley parted ways as usual and flicked through the different sections. Engrossed in the punk rock section, Lucas heard a familiar voice coming from downstairs of the split level shop.
"Oh my god, I would never buy that album! Are you crazy?" Lucas smiled at the sound of Peyton's voice and started down the steps but froze when he heard the next voice.
"We both know I'm totally sane, well most of the time, but what's wrong with The Pussycat Dolls? They're hot!" Brooke Davis gave her friend a playful shove with her hip and giggled at the look of disgust on Peyton's face. Peyton's expression changed to that of surprise when something caught her attention behind Brooke. Brooke turned around and her smile faded as Lucas stared back at them.
"Lucas, uh, hi." Peyton stuttered, feeling guilty as hell and Brooke felt bad for putting her in this position.
"When did you get back?" Lucas went from surprised to pissed pretty quickly, his focus now completely on Brooke.
"Four days ago." Brooke met Lucas's eyes, refusing to let him make her feel bad. He stared at them for a few seconds longer before turning around and walking out of the store.
"Lucas! Lucas wait up!" Brooke burst through the doors and out onto the street, quickly searching for the blonde head who was now crossing to the other side of the street. "Lucas Scott don't walk away from me!" Ignoring the strange looks she was getting from passers by, Brooke continued to shout after him while he pretended not to hear. Finally catching up to him, she grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face her. "What is your problem, Lucas?"
"Were you even going to tell me you were back or was I just going to run into you in the hallway at school?" Lucas clenched his jaw shut and turned to walk away again but Brooke's firm grip on his right arm pulled him back.
"Oh please! You tell me you love me and want me back, like 2 seconds before I leave for California and I get grief because I need a couple of days to get settled back in before seeing you!"
"But we were talking all summer! I thought that meant that we were ok and that I would at least get a phone call when you got home. Obviously it doesn't matter to you either way. Enjoy the rest of your summer." Again Lucas tried to walk away but Brooke was stronger than she looked and she wasn't letting him leave.
"Would you stop being such a little girl! I was going to call you tonight. Can't you understand that us seeing each other was going to be a big deal? That I might have needed some time to prepare myself for that?" Brooke looked pleadingly at Lucas and he could already feel himself starting to melt, his anger fading.
"A whole summer wasn't enough time to prepare yourself?" Lucas said half-heartedly, knowing that he didn't have it in him to stay mad at her.
Brooke smiled at him, the dimples in her cheeks appearing and making him smile back.
"I bet a whole summer isn't enough time to prepare you for this!" Brooke grabbed Lucas by the T-shirt and before he knew it, her lips were on his and her arms were around his neck. Lucas succumbed to the kiss, and with one hand on her back and the other raked in her hair, he pulled her towards him hungrily. Lucas was vaguely aware of the sounds of whooping and cheering from Haley and Peyton across the street.
Back at the apartment, Brooke snuggled closer to Lucas in the bed that was barely big enough for Lucas, let alone the two of them. She lay her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. Whenever she spoke, she noticed that his heart beat just a little bit faster.
"I'm still mad at you." Lucas stated, kissing the top of her head and stroking her bare back.
"Liar." Brooke sighed happily.
"Why did you stop answering my phone calls?" Lucas asked quietly.
"Lucas, we spent the whole summer talking on the phone and we didn't talk about the conversation we had before I left. I needed to take a time out to figure things out for myself. I guess I needed to take a break from you and see how it affected me. When I missed you like crazy, I knew then that I wanted us to try again."
Lucas sat up and faced Brooke as she pulled the covers around her, looking a little sheepish. "If you had told me that, I would have understood."
"I know, but since when have I ever done anything that makes sense?" Brooke half smiled and curled a lock of hair around her finger. "I was afraid of getting hurt again, Lucas."
Lucas leaned toward her and kissed her softly. "This makes sense. I love you and I'm never going to hurt you again." Brooke beamed as Lucas pulled her into another kiss.
Nearly the whole day was gone before Lucas emerged from his bedroom, a dopey grin on his face. Brooke had gone back to Peyton's but she would be back later and they were having dinner together. Lucas headed straight for the refrigerator. Nathan was sitting at the kitchen counter, typing something on his laptop.
"Karen called, like, three times. I told her you'd been in your bedroom for the last 5 hours with Brooke and that we didn't expect you out for some time." Nathan smirked.
"Who's 'we'?" Lucas asked, ignoring the bait.
"Peyton was here most of the day. Haley too. I'm going to take a shower." Nathan got up and left the room, his computer still switched on at the counter.
Lucas fixed himself a sandwich and sat down on the chair Nathan had vacated. Glancing at the screen, something caught Lucas's eye. It was an e-mail from Keith Scott. Curiosity getting the better of him, Lucas opened the e-mail and began to read. Clicking back to the Inbox, he saw that there was quite a few e-mails from Keith. Lucas quickly scanned through them and got the basics. Keith had found Jules, or Emily, should he say and they had worked things out. They were living in Chicago and both had jobs. He asked how Karen and Lucas were but made no mention of Dan, obviously.
Lucas couldn't believe it, after all these years, after all they had been through, it was Nathan that he had made contact with. It hurt Lucas to know that Keith still couldn't forgive him and was shutting him out like this.
"What are you doing?" Nathan stood in the doorway, fresh out of the shower, his hair still dripping.
"How long have you been e-mailing Keith?" Lucas demanded.
"You were looking at my e-mails? What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"He's my uncle! I have a right to know where he is! Why didn't you tell me he contacted you?" Lucas was fuming now.
"He's my uncle too, but I'm not the one who betrayed him. It's none of your business what Keith and I talk about."
"None of my business? It's Keith! Damn it Nathan, how could you be this selfish? You know how worried my mom and I have been about him! I know you have a problem with me, but you didn't even think that maybe it might have helped my mom to know that he was okay? You're really something else, Nathan." Lucas slammed the computer shut and walked to the other side of the kitchen, trying his best to keep cool.
"Don't you dare call me selfish, Lucas. After everything you've done this year - you've been a complete asshole this year and you've destroyed lives. Including mine."
"Oh here we go again. . . Poor Nathan, it's all my fault that Haley went to New York with Chris to pursue the music career that you encouraged. I'm so tired of this crap! You are nearly 18 Nathan, grow the hell up. It's all my fault you met Haley in the first place - boo hoo. Get over it! I helped her out because Haley is my best friend."
"And I'm your brother! Or did you forget that?" Nathan yelled as he hurled the computer into the wall, sending it crashing to the floor. Silence filled the room as Nathan glared at his brother.
"That never really mattered to you before. Why should it matter now?" Lucas brushed past Nathan and went into his room, slamming the door and leaving Nathan to pick up the pieces of the broken computer.
Haley knocked on the door for the umpteenth time and held her finger on the doorbell. After about 10 minutes, Nathan finally appeared, dishevelled and red-eyed. He'd probably been drinking.
"What do you want?" he demanded as he opened the door. Haley ignored his attitude and breezed past him.
"If you must know, Mr Sunshine, I'm here to see Lucas. Is he up yet?" Haley noticed the remains of Nathan's computer on the coffee table. "What happened?"
"He's not here. He left about an hour ago." He didn't answer the second part of her question. He was already too pissed about smashing up his computer. He would have to talk nice to his mother to get a new one.
"Do you know where he is?" Haley continued to question him and it was starting to bug him.
"Why should I? I'm not his keeper, I don't know where he is 24/7. I don't really give a damn where he is!"
Haley flinched, not used to Nathan being so harsh with her. Even when they were having trouble with their marriage, he never used that tone with her.
"I'm sorry. I was just asking. If you have a problem with my being here, just say so. I just thought that since we'd been hanging out recently that we were ok." Haley swallowed the lump forming in her throat, not wanting him to see that he had upset her.
"I don't have a problem with you. Not everything is about you and me, Haley. If you must know, my problem is with Lucas and everything Lucas-related. I wish he'd just get out of my life."
Haley crossed the room, wanting to put some distance between them. "So you guys had a fight? What was it about this time? Who ate the last bag of potato chips?"
"The usual. You." Haley looked at him and frowned.
"Are you blaming him again? God Nathan you really need to grow up. When are you going to get it into your head that you and I screwed things up all by ourselves. Stop blaming Lucas! Will you ever just accept that he's in your life? Stop blaming all your problems on his existence."
"You mean that you screwed things up, you and Chris." Haley glared back at him, her eyes cold and hard and Nathan regretted opening his mouth.
"If that's what you want to keep telling yourself, go right ahead." Haley headed for the door but her path was blocked by Nathan who obviously wanted to continue this fight. Haley stared back at him, challenging him to disagree with her but instead he moved out of her way and let her leave the apartment.
A/N I'm sorry I brushed over the whole Brooke/Lucas thing - I just wanted to get it out of the way because I want to focus mostly on Lucas/Nathan. Please review!