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A reminder of the warnings: This chapter will contain mentions of abortion/pregnancy termination.
...
The Rain
The silence was deafening in the room, and the tension thick enough to stop them all breathing.
Rangiku stared at the positive pregnancy test, and her heart stopped.
But it wasn't her test. It was Rukia's.
Rangiku's eyes stayed on the positive test a moment longer before she finally turned her gaze to Rukia herself. Violet eyes were wide with shock, uncomprehending.
No one said anything. Rangiku didn't know what to say. Rukia was pregnant.
And Rangiku wasn't.
"This can't-" Rukia shook her head and swallowed, her voice hoarse for a moment. "I can't be."
They could almost see the blood draining from Rukia's already rather pale face and suddenly she gasped as if just now remembering to breathe. Rangiku caught Rukia's hand and held it. It wasn't nice watching her friend panic. It was obvious that Rukia hadn't suspected she was pregnant, and it was entirely clear that she didn't want to be.
"I'll help you," Rangiku found herself saying quickly. "Whatever you need."
"It doesn't make sense, I've been so safe," Rukia whispered, as if she was scared that if she raised her voice it would crack. She shook her head and looked away, her eyes glazing over as she must have thought back to possible times she might have conceived.
"Maybe it's a false positive?" Nanao suggested lightly, wincing. Rangiku nodded too but she wasn't sure it was the best idea to fill Rukia with hope.
"Unlikely," Nemu announced bluntly, not at all reading the room. "Pregnancy tests are ninety-nice percent accurate when used correctly."
"Maybe she didn't use it correctly," Nanao gritted her teeth, shooting Nemu a glare when Rukia slouched over, holding her head in her hands, her elbows on the table. She looked like she was going to be sick.
"My brother will disown me," she whispered between her hands. "Or make me get married!"
The last bit was hissed, and there was genuine fear in her tone. Rangiku winced; Rukia lived such a strict, pressure-filled life in her brother's traditional and wealthy world. Byakuya expected big things from her; he was not going to like this at all.
Rangiku pulled Rukia quickly into her arms, hugging the girl tightly and for once, Rukia didn't resist. She and Rangiku had never been that close, not compared to how tight Rangiku was to Orihime or Nanao, or how close Rukia was to their guy friends, but Rukia was still a good friend of hers and Rangiku looked after her friends.
Rangiku held her close and rubbed her back. Rukia didn't make a sound; she was fighting her tears instead of letting them out.
Rangiku's eyes slipped back to her own negative test and guilt flooded her.
She had been the one that thought she was pregnant, yet it was Rukia who now suffered.
Of course, Rangiku's own result wouldn't have changed Rukia's. Either way, the girl was pregnant and she would have found out sooner or later. Still, somehow it felt like Rangiku's fault.
There wasn't anything she could do right now. Rukia had to process the situation she was now in, and get as emotional as she needed. Only after that could she work out what she wanted to do next.
So Rangiku stayed quiet, and simply hugged her friend until she wanted her to stop. Nanao got them tissues, though Rukia didn't need them yet, while Nemu drew up an excel spreadsheet of all Rukia's options, including a pros and cons list, a cost analysis and links to further information. Unsurprisingly, that didn't ease Rukia's thoughts.
She was trying to be strong, perhaps because she wasn't around her closest friends or possibly just because she wasn't someone who cried as easily as Rangiku did. Maybe she was just in too much shock to cry. She didn't sob or make a sound, her body going awfully rigid instead of trembling.
It wasn't unexpected when Rukia decided she wanted to leave only ten minutes later.
"I want to go back to my dorm," she said calmly, untangling herself from Rangiku. "Please don't tell anyone."
"We won't," Nanao assured her and Rangiku nodded quickly. Nemu, upon receiving three more glares, also agreed to keep it a secret.
Rangiku left with Rukia, walking her down the hall and back to her dorm.
"I meant what I said," Rangiku murmured. "Whatever you need, just ask. If you need money, I can get some from my dad, he doesn't ask too many questions."
Rukia had money of course, but only a tiny portion of it wasn't under the extremely vigilant eye of her brother.
"Thanks," Rukia breathed. "I think I need to visit a doctor first. Make sure it's real."
Rangiku hummed. "Well if you need someone to come with you, I'm happy to. Please don't go alone."
Rukia's breathing shuddered and she nodded. "I'll let you know."
They stopped at her door and Rukia turned around. Rangiku tried not to grimace at her sickly pale face.
"I can't believe this is happening," Rukia ran her hand through her hair, her expression more stressed than Rangiku had seen before.
Rangiku nodded, remembering her own shock when she thought she might be pregnant. That had only been a theory, but Rukia knew for sure. She hadn't expected it at all.
"Will you be okay tonight?" Rangiku asked quietly. "I can stay, or ask someone to come see you – without telling them why, of course."
"I'll be fine," Rukia insisted, fishing her keys out of her bag. "Kiyone is home, but I think I just want to be alone for a while."
Again Rangiku understood, but she knew if it was her, she would have run straight to Toshiro – whether he'd been the father or not. She was someone who depended on friends for support, but Rukia had always been stronger and more independent. It was impressive, but it must have been lonely at times.
"Can I ask who the father is?"
Rangiku had to ask, but it wasn't for the gossip. She just wanted to know it was someone good, who would get involved if Rukia wanted them to and who would look after her, no matter what choice she made in the end. Someone she could rely on, since she felt like she couldn't go to her brother – her only family.
Rukia's eyes were scrutinising Rangiku for a moment, perhaps trying to decide if she would tell anyone. Rangiku motioned zipping her lips; she could keep a secret. Hell, she was keeping a pretty big one of her own.
After a moment, Rukia sighed.
"Renji," she answered simply.
Rangiku's lips parted in shock but no gasp came out. She wasn't even sure if she was that surprised.
"Was it a one night thing or..?" she let the question hang in the air.
Rukia looked down guiltily as she shook her head.
"No, we're… together," she murmured quietly.
Rangiku's eyes went wide; now that she did find shocking. They had been dating for months now, as Rukia went on to explain. Apparently after a summer of sexual tension, that kiss they shared during the Dirty Shot game their first night back at S.U. was breaking point. They had slept together that night, and then eventually decided to make it official. Well, quietly official.
"We've kept it a secret," Rukia continued when she was met with a bewildered expression. "My brother won't approve… and we haven't had the courage to tell Ichigo yet. I just… I don't want to hurt him. Renji doesn't either. It's complicated."
Apparently Renji wasn't as oblivious as Rangiku had thought, he was just good at pretending he was. He acted like he never noticed Rukia flirting with him so no one would think to question whether they were together or not. Rukia, on the other hand, flirted quite openly with him, which seemed a little counterproductive for secret keeping.
"I do it on purpose around Ichigo," Rukia winced. "I hoped he'd realise I had feelings for Renji, and he'd give up and move on."
"That's not Ichigo's style," Rangiku murmured. "He fights for what he wants."
"I know," Rukia gave a long sigh.
It was such a mess, and Rangiku found herself lost for words. She could tell Rukia felt horrible about it and certainly didn't want to make her feel worse, particularly given the new unplanned developments. She felt bad for Ichigo though, the poor guy was moping around and pining after a girl that wasn't only uninterested, but unavailable and dating one of his best friends in secret. It didn't get much worse than that.
"Well," Rangiku sighed after a while. "Renji is a good guy. He'll look after you."
That's what really mattered at the moment. The rest they could sort out later.
"He's an idiot," Rukia chuckled weakly, "but he cares a lot. I'll talk to him about it tomorrow."
Rangiku exhaled and nodded. If it was her, she would have run to Toshiro that night, in tears, but Rukia had always been stronger and self-sufficient.
They said goodnight under the dull hallway lighting, and then Rukia disappeared inside her dorm.
Rangiku sighed as she turned away and walked towards her own door, her body feeling heavy.
That could have been her tonight, but it wasn't.
And life had a sick sense of humour.
That was why, when Rangiku got home and went to the bathroom, she found that her period had started.
…
Her body punished her for that. It gave her a week twice as bad, as if to make up for the light spotting last month. That was probably why she had been sick that morning, or perhaps it had been a stomach bug. Either way, this period sucked more than normal.
Tonight, two nights in, Rangiku sat curled up on the couch, a heat pack across her abdomen and wincing every time her head throbbed. She clutched her Styrofoam pot of instant noodles and breathed through another cramp.
She felt bloated and gross, the least sexy she had felt in a long time.
Toshiro, the sweetheart, was there at the other end of the couch. He was studying instead of paying attention to Love Island, which was fair; the current season was more trash than usual. He doted on her, not fazed in the slightest when she explained why they were going to be taking a week-long break from their Best Buddies Sex Adventures™.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her at an ad break.
"Headache is going away," Rangiku sighed. "Cramps are not."
Toshiro grimaced but Rangiku waved him off. It was painful and annoying, but that was the life of a uterus owner.
He got up to make tea as Rangiku's phone buzzed. She saw the sender name and double checked Toshiro couldn't see her screen before she opened the message.
Rukia
Doctor confirmed. I've decided to get it terminated.
Rangiku exhaled deeply.
She had been texting Rukia since the night they took the tests. Renji, whom Rukia simply referred to as 'Idiot' over text, had apparently taken the news well, and he wanted to be involved and supportive. He was the one who had accompanied Rukia to the doctor today.
Rangiku
Do you need money? x
Rukia
No, Idiot is paying. We got an appointment for later in the week.
It was probably for the best. Rukia didn't want a child. She didn't feel ready, for a number of reasons. She didn't have to explain herself.
Rangiku
Are you okay though? x
Rukia
Yeah. Just feels a bit shit.
Rangiku's fingers hovered over her phone, poised to reply. She glanced briefly at Toshiro's back as he made the tea. He had stopped to water Rangiku's one plant – a dying pot of basil that sat by the sink – and he was talking to it, gently encouraging it back to life. He was such a weirdo, and yet somehow he was adorable.
It made Rangiku feel guilty for her next text.
Rangiku
I would have done the same in your position. Let me know if you need a cuddle x
She felt guilty that she would have sought an abortion too, and she wasn't totally sure why.
It might have been because she could just envision Toshiro as a father. She could so clearly picture him in her mind, cradling a baby against his chest and cooing adorably to it, and that made her think he would have wanted her to keep the baby. He had always spoken about having a big family one day – even when they were teenagers he knew that's what he wanted. Rangiku smiled at the thought; he would be a great dad too, always striving to be the opposite of his own father.
But Rangiku wasn't the girl to give him that. Not now, probably not ever. Rangiku did want children one day, but she hoped to be married to the man of her dreams by then. It didn't make sense to have a kid randomly with her best friend, at least not in college. Maybe if she hit forty and was still single, she'd suggest it. They could be each other's back-ups.
Though, realistically, there was little chance of Toshiro still being single at forty. He was way too desirable.
Rukia
Cuddles are gross but thank you.
Rangiku's lips twitched. She was happy to see a bit of Rukia's personality coming back through.
"Please let the basil have some sun, Matsumoto," Toshiro's tone was pleading as he returned, placing her tea on the coffee table before he moved to his side. "Put him out on your window sill while you're in class, it will do him wonders, I swear."
"Him?" Rangiku echoed questioningly. "Her name is Basilina."
"Now you're just being ridiculous," Toshiro rolled his eyes as he lifted his mug to his lips. Rangiku scoffed; her being ridiculous? She wasn't the one talking to a herb.
Besides, she used to put the basil outside, but then she forgot to bring it back in. The poor bugger was sizzled by the time she remembered it was out there.
Gods, she couldn't even look after a small pot of basil – how the heck was she supposed to have a baby one day?
Her smile dropped at that, and by the fact that Toshiro had pulled her legs over his so that she could stretch over him while he studied. One of his hands stroked her calf gently while he read his textbook. He was so pure.
"What would you do if I was pregnant?" Rangiku asked then suddenly, and just as soon as she asked it, wide teal eyes snapped to her stomach. Rangiku immediately kicked him. "I'm not," she assured him. "I'm just asking what you'd do if I was. Hypothetically speaking."
Despite her words, Toshiro took far too long to drag his eyes away from her stomach. In fact, they continued to stare as he leaned back into the couch, expression contemplating and thoughtful.
"In this hypothetical situation," he began quietly, voice uncertain, "am I the father?"
"Hypothetically, yes," Rangiku clarified before shovelling a mouthful of noodles into her mouth.
Toshiro was quiet for a moment, his eyes still locked on her stomach. He twirled his pen between his fingers, but Rangiku doubted he was aware he was even doing it.
"What would you want to do?" he asked her eventually.
"I asked you first."
"My opinion doesn't matter," Toshiro responded, his eyes finally rising to meet hers. "It's your body and your life. You get to make the final decision."
"What if I wanted to keep it?" Rangiku probed.
"Then I'd be there, if you would let me," Toshiro answered easily and a small smile appeared on his lips as he clearly thought about it. "It's my baby, I want to be active in my child's life."
"You might have to give up school and your career?"
"I'd delay it, sure. The baby has to come first."
"And you'd want that?" Rangiku raised an eyebrow.
"Of course I would want that," he murmured before he sent her a pointed look. "If you wanted that."
"What if I wanted an abortion?"
Teal eyes looked troubled by that, the smile fading quickly, and he swallowed before shrugging casually.
"If that's what you wanted, I'd support you," he answered after a moment. "I'd help pay for it, drive you there and back, look after you while you recovered. Whatever you needed."
He really was a gem. He'd support her and look after her, even if it meant he wasn't getting what he wanted. Selfless as always.
Rangiku was glad that she wasn't pregnant, but if she had been, it was nice to know he had her back, whatever she chose to do. Not that she had ever really doubted him, it was just nice to hear it out loud.
"Thank you," Rangiku smiled gently at him. Toshiro nodded before he turned back to his textbook.
He was quiet after that, and he gave up on studying but he seemed more thoughtful than he was actually engaged watching Love Island with her. Rangiku left him to his thoughts, since she had plenty of her own still while painful cramps continued to cause her grief.
Overall, the whole pregnancy scare had left her feeling uneasy. It had been too close for comfort, and now she had to watch her friend go through it, all the while wondering what the fuck would have happened if it were her.
She knew for certain that Toshiro would support her in her choice to terminate. He had just told her that. But at what cost to their friendship? Maybe not initially, but in a few years' time when he resented her choice. He seemed to want that baby more than she did, even if it meant giving up all he was currently working for.
"What would you do if you weren't the father?" she asked suddenly, feeling guilty.
There was long pause before Toshiro spoke, and his body didn't move until he did.
"The same thing I'd do if I was the father," he murmured without looking at her. "I'd support you either way. Except if you kept it, they'd call me 'Uncle Toshiro' and I'd spoil them rotten."
He smirked then and Rangiku rolled her eyes. She knew he thought he'd be the cool uncle, but he was way too much of a nerd for that. He was going to buy her kids sensible books for birthday presents, she just knew it.
"Sure," Rangiku grinned teasingly.
"Why all the questions?" Toshiro asked her, turning the tables and putting his attention back on her.
Rangiku winced. She should have expected that.
"I had a scare a few days ago," she told him honestly. "I did a test but it came back negative…"
Toshiro's expression was unreadable as he stared at her.
"From…" he frowned slightly, clearing his throat. "From that night we came home from Isshin's?"
Rangiku nodded. "We didn't use protection then."
Toshiro leaned back into the arm of the couch with that same troubled look in his eyes.
"Sorry," he murmured. "I should have-"
"Don't worry about it," Rangiku waved him off quickly. "I don't regret it and neither should you. Besides, it was a false alarm."
Opposite her, he pursed his lips, seemingly disagreeing. "We have to be more careful then."
"I agree," Rangiku sighed.
Toshiro looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he didn't. He turned back to the television, and said nothing more on the matter for the rest of the night.
Rangiku sighed to herself. Well, they had talked about it, and Rukia was ending her pregnancy. Soon enough, this whole ordeal would be behind them.
At the end of the couch, Toshiro's brow furrowed and his expression was thoughtful, if not still troubled, but he continued to stroke her calf gently. She wasn't worried about him; he was likely just processing their close call. He was still being affectionate with her, and he'd likely be fine tomorrow.
Rangiku relaxed back into the cushions; her cramps were easing off and she felt like a weight had been lifted off her. The unease faded and she finally felt better.
…
The Spring Break party was going off, though Nanao didn't look happy about it.
Rangiku stood in a random dorm's kitchen and smirked into her can of gin and tonic as she watched Nanao shake her head at a couple making out against a wall. The couple were extremely drunk, and promptly knocked over, and then fell into, a large potted plant beside them. Nanao threw her hands up and stalked off, muttering as she went, and Rangiku giggled.
Originally it was SUWA who had been responsible for the party's planning, but they had handed it off to SUMA when they realised they couldn't get it planned in time, thanks largely to the secret pregnancy crisis that pulled their artist out (though most of the club had been told Rukia was off sick with a stomach bug), as well as Rangiku being in too much menstrual pain to contribute much, and Nanao losing her patience with Nemu and Orihime, whose ideas were wild and impractical.
In a rare moment of defeat, Nanao handed the task off to the men and left them to plan the biggest party of the year – in exchange for the End of Year Party, of course.
However SUMA, as good as they normally were at planning the student parties, had failed to take into account the weather forecast for tonight, so their planned lawn event had been quickly drowned out by a storm and the students had flooded into the dorms to continue the party.
Rangiku didn't mind. She loved the dorm parties because the students were free to be as loud and outrageous as they wanted. As it was, Rangiku could see Ikkaku doing a keg stand – he was being held up by Ichigo and Renji and they were cheering him on as he drank as much as he could from the beer keg while upside down.
The vibe tonight was electric and full of excitement. It was officially their Spring Break! Or almost officially – they technically had one more day of classes to go, but most were skipping in favour of beating the traffic to get up to the beaches in time for the weekend. In fact, Rangiku was pretty sure it was only Toshiro who planned to attend his Friday classes. Regardless, it meant the campus party was held the night before and everyone's moods were lifted with the celebrations.
Rukia, somehow between her secret life crisis, managed to convince her brother to let them have his beach house for the week. They were leaving from campus on Saturday morning.
They had all gone up last year too and the house was incredible! It was practically a mansion and it was right on the beach. It was the most fun Rangiku had ever had and this year it was going to be bigger and better, with her, Toshiro, Rukia, Renji, Ichigo, Orihime, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Chad and Kiyone going up.
Sun, beach, drinks, sex – it all started tonight.
Rangiku laughed as Ikkaku was lowered back to his feet and he straightened to roar proudly at his keg stand, only to fall back on his ass a second later. Around him, everyone cheered and laughed, and Yumichika popped a bottle of Prosecco as if to celebrate his boyfriend's achievement.
Rolling her eyes playfully, Rangiku was still chuckling as she left the room to explore other dorms down the hall.
She was feeling the alcohol a little, but she was still reluctant to get drunk. Tonight she was drinking out of small cans that she had stashed inside the fridge at her own locked dorm. Both her and Orihime didn't want the party going into their space so they locked the door behind them and Rangiku only went back to get her own drinks.
She ducked between people in the hallway and dodged a rugby ball that was being thrown about before slipping into the next open dorm.
"Heeyyy Matsumotooo," Toshiro's slurred voice greeted her and arms came around her waist from behind, his head resting on her shoulder as he swayed a little.
He was drunk and Rangiku laughed as she hugged his arms. He rarely got into this state, and no doubt it wouldn't last that long because his metabolism was unfairly quick (though he did get pretty bad hangovers). Still, it was nice to see him letting loose again. He had offered to stay sober with her again but she told him not to, since she felt pretty safe in the dorms.
"You feeling good?" she teased him, turning around in his loose hold.
He nodded, his head slipping down to rest on top of her breasts. "Missed you."
Rangiku patted his back gently. He really was tanked tonight, but he deserved to be with how much work he put into his studies every day, not to mention what he had been through recently. She did hope that he'd sober up later though, because her period had ended yesterday and after a week of not being fucked by him, she was starved for his touch.
"Come on," she giggled. "Let's sit down. You look like you're about to fall over."
He hummed in agreement but didn't make any effort to move. Rangiku found his hands and unwrapped them from her, pushing him away a little so she could move back and lead him over to the couch. He followed her, with a bit of a stumble in his step and a slightly dramatic fall to the couch when they reached it.
He slumped over, head in her lap.
"I did a keg stand," he groaned. "Renji made me do it but then he didn't do it himself."
Rangiku snorted as she started to card her fingers through his hair.
"Poor darling," she teased him. "You just lie still for a bit, okay? You'll feel better soon."
Toshiro nodded into her lap, his eyes closing over as his fingers traced light patterns on her knee. Rangiku shook her head with a giggle, grinning widely. She continued to stroke his hair and sip from her can, content enough to sit there quietly and watch the party go by, but it wasn't long until Toshiro tried to sit up again. He only got as far as her stomach but Rangiku quickly realised that was where he intended to rest.
His arms came around her, and he pressed a small kiss into her shirt, right above her bellybutton.
"My baby," he murmured.
Oh no.
"Not pregnant," Rangiku reminded him swiftly and quietly, glancing back over the couch and around the room to ensure no one was seeing this.
No one was paying them any mind, thankfully, all caught up in their own conversations. Orihime was the only person they really knew in the room, and she was talking animatedly to a guy sewing in the corner, likely the dorm owner, who looked like he did not want to be at this party at all.
"I know," Toshiro's tone was sulky as Rangiku turned back to him. "I want it to be true though."
Sighing, Rangiku patted his head. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to tell him, but she knew that drunk Toshiro was not the same as sober Toshiro. Well, they were both kind and adorable, but he was a needy drunk sometimes, always needing to be reassured and cuddled. Rangiku had never minded; she had always found it cute.
She knew the rational sober Toshiro was smarter than this, and that he really didn't want to have a child with her. If she had to guess, she'd say that the recent blow up with his parents hadn't helped at all. He had always craved a family and someone to love, and that came out when he was drunk.
Sober Toshiro was more sensible. He knew to wait until college was over and he had a good job, and he found 'the one' and married her.
"No, you don't," Rangiku told him gently. "You want to have a baby when you're settled with the woman of your dreams."
"I want to have a baby with you," Toshiro insisted, his arms tightening around her middle, his face pressing into her stomach.
Rangiku shushed him quickly, glancing over the couch again to make sure no one saw. She saw the back of Ichigo and Rukia's heads enter the room and began to panic a little.
She pushed Toshiro up and out of her lap, but he only got as far as her shoulder as he didn't seem to want to let her go. He was leaning heavily on her, murmuring about how they'd have beautiful babies.
They would, to be fair, but the thought was crazy.
"Listen to me," Rangiku whispered. "You're going to be an amazing parent one day. You're going to have a family that loves you so much."
"With you?" Toshiro's teal eyes glanced up at her from where he rested on her shoulder. They sparkled with hope and hints of desperation.
For a moment, Rangiku wanted to tell him yes, but again, the thought was crazy.
"I'll always be your family," Rangiku smiled at him, leaning down to kiss his forehead, "but the mother of your children – your future wife – she's out there and you'll find her soon, I promise. Maybe she's even best friends with my future husband."
It was supposed to be a light humoured joke on the back of what Rangiku thought were kind words. Toshiro's expression did not reflect that. He looked like a child who had just had his dreams crushed by his hero. He looked hurt.
Toshiro let go of her then, pushing himself to sit up. Rangiku reached out to help him but he gently pushed her hands away. He actually moved away from her, shuffling a spot up the couch. He was silent, moving to the edge of the couch and settling there, and suddenly finding the loose threads on the couch arm extremely interesting.
"Toshiro?" Rangiku frowned, about to move up the couch to be closer to him, but it was at that moment that Ichigo appeared, dragging his feet around the couch and falling into Toshiro's freshly vacated seat between them.
"I need a hug," he groaned. He opened his arms up for someone to hug him and Toshiro tried half-heartedly, slumping against Ichigo's shoulder instead. Ichigo dropped his arms with a grim smile, and reached up to pat Toshiro's head. "Close enough, Bro."
"You alright, Ichigo?" Rangiku asked, though she was still more concerned about Toshiro. He wasn't looking at her.
"I don't want to talk about it," Ichigo huffed. "What are you two talking about?"
"Nothing mu-"
"Matsumoto doesn't want to have a baby with me," Toshiro cut in, tone sad.
For a second, time stopped still.
"Oh," Ichigo's eyes were wide, shocked. He didn't seem to know what to say, meanwhile Rangiku's heart stopped.
"Don't worry though," Toshiro continued with a murmur, tone mildly sarcastic. "I'm going to meet the woman of my dreams soon. Matsumoto promised."
That… felt like a dig. Rangiku felt her chest constrict; she had hurt him.
With that he stood, swaying a bit as Ichigo reached out to steady him.
"Where are you going?" Ichigo asked, sounding worried.
"I need water," Toshiro muttered and they watched him make his way slowly to the kitchen.
"What's going on?" Ichigo asked, turning quickly to her with a pinched brow and Rangiku shrugged.
"I don't know," she whispered. Anxiety filled her; she had probably made him feel unwanted, just like his parents did.
Ichigo asked what happened and she gave him a vague, filtered version of events, simply telling him Toshiro had drunkenly told her he wanted a baby and asked her to have one with him.
"I don't think he knows what he's saying," Ichigo told her, seemingly trying to make her feel better.
Rangiku nodded quickly, glad he thought that. She did not want Ichigo to find out how the conversation had come up in the first place – and neither would Toshiro once he sobered up.
"He's off tonight," Rangiku grimaced. "I think he's just had a bit too much to drink and that stuff with his parents put a weird idea in his head."
She felt guilty blaming the conversation on Toshiro's parental issues. She knew it was her fault the idea was in his head, she just hadn't expected it to stay in his mind days later. She didn't think she was totally lying though; after seeing first-hand how his parents affected him, Rangiku was certain that was where Toshiro's desire to have a child was coming from. He just wanted love and to be loved, and have that family he always deserved. She hadn't considered that enough when she had spoken to him about her pregnancy scare.
"That will do it," Ichigo sighed in agreement. "Don't worry too much about it. He'll sober up and be fine. He'll probably be embarrassed."
Rangiku was relieved that Ichigo hadn't read too much into Toshiro's words. She nodded quickly to agree with him, hoping that could leave it at that.
After all, it was the alcohol that really caused it all. It made him care more about something than he actually did, made him say words he probably never thought. Rangiku was familiar with it herself; once she had been so drunk, she cried for three hours over that lost Mars Rover, all because Toshiro referred to it by a cute nickname that somehow humanised it.
Toshiro returned then, equipped with a large glass of water and a couple of slices of bread, of which he was already eating.
"Did you piss Rukia off?" he asked Ichigo, sitting back where he was before – far away from Rangiku. He seemed soberer already, yet the awkwardness lingered as he refused to look or talk to her. "She seems mad."
"In other news," Ichigo sighed then, "I think I pissed off Rukia."
Rangiku tilted her head. "Oh?"
"Yeah," Ichigo sighed sadly and he nodded backwards, gesturing behind them.
Rangiku glanced over her shoulder and saw Rukia in the kitchen area of this dorm room. She was looked like she was fuming, her eyes unfocused but her jaw clenched as she clutched a cup of water. Orihime was approaching her, but Rukia leaned away when the girl tried to pat her shoulder.
It had been three days since her abortion. No one but Rangiku and Renji knew about it. Renji had apparently been staying with her, looking after her during the physical recovery. Rukia had been texting her throughout it; apparently Renji even skipped the gym and did his classes online so he could stay with her – Rukia had said it was overbearing and annoying, but Rangiku knew she secretly loved the care he was giving her. Rangiku had gone to see her twice, once the morning after the appointment to check in and make sure she was doing okay, and the second time Renji had texted her and asked her to come over while he did some grocery shopping for them as Kiyone was working.
Apparently Kiyone also knew they were dating now, but she didn't know about the pregnancy. She just thought Rukia had been ill like everyone else.
"What happened?" Rangiku asked Ichigo quietly but she was still looking at Rukia who looked like she was only seconds away from either bursting into tears or punching someone.
"I don't know," Ichigo sighed, keeping his back turned. "I just asked if she wanted to go to the movies tomorrow night. I didn't even mean it as a date. I just know she wants to see 'Black Widow' and she'd been too ill to go this week."
"And she said no?" Rangiku guessed, glancing back at Ichigo to find the man frowning down at his knees. He looked visibly confused and frustrated.
At the other end of the couch, Toshiro was eating his bread. He made eye contact with Rangiku for all of half a second before he shifted his gaze back to his lap.
"She just snapped at me," Ichigo shrugged. "Like, full on yelled at me. Told me to leave her alone and to fuck off."
Rangiku cringed; that didn't sound like Rukia at all. She was normally pretty collected, only turning feisty when the topic wasn't serious and never genuinely hurting her friends. Rangiku knew the kind of stress Rukia had been under lately, and it wasn't surprising to find out she had let it get the better of her after holding it in so long.
Sighing, Rangiku knew she was going to have to lie to Ichigo. He didn't deserve it, but Rangiku had to protect Rukia on this one.
"I know Rukia's still not feeling very well," Rangiku murmured. "I'm not sure why she pushed herself to come tonight but I think her reaction was mostly due to feeling sick still."
"Yeah?" Ichigo raised his head, and Rangiku didn't like the hope he still had.
"Give her some space," she advised him. "Let her come to you."
"Okay I'll do that," Ichigo nodded seriously before he too glanced back over at Rukia.
Rukia glanced up at the same time, and found both Ichigo and Rangiku watching her. Her violet eyes were on Ichigo though, and Rangiku grimaced as she watched them very quickly fill with tears.
She was finally going to cry.
Rukia knew it too and moved quickly, hurrying from the room and leaving a shocked Orihime behind. Rangiku stood from the couch to follow, but poor Ichigo looked as alarmed as Orihime as he witnessed it all happen too. Even Toshiro was stunned as he sat up straight with half a bit of crust half in his mouth, bewildered at what was going on around him.
"I'm going to go check on her," Rangiku called back and hastily followed Rukia out to the hall. Her own problem could wait a bit longer.
The poor girl was sobbing when Rangiku caught up to her and she quickly threw her arm over the girl's shoulder, pulling her around the first corner. She led her down to a quiet and empty part of the building, where no one could see or hear them.
"I just feel so awful," Rukia cried, the words spilling from her as Rangiku pulled her in for a tight hug. "I lied to Byakuya, and when he agreed to let us use the beach house he told me he was proud of me for my grades this year. I lied to Ichigo, and he just keeps asking me out. I'm a terrible person, Ran."
"You're not," Rangiku assured her calmly, squeezing her tightly.
"I am," Rukia argued through tears. "I didn't even ask Renji if he wanted to keep the baby, I just made the decision and made him deal with it."
"Well it is your choice," Rangiku murmured. "I would have done the same. We're not ready to be mothers. Not emotionally, not financially – we're just not. I can't even keep a plant alive."
Rukia made a sound that might have been a chuckle, or another sob, nodded into Rukia's chest.
They stood there in silence for a moment longer, the only sounds Rukia's hiccups and sniffles, and Rangiku rubbing her back through her shirt. She couldn't imagine how it must have felt.
"I feel sick," Rukia sighed a shuddered breath. "I feel so guilty and ashamed."
"You shouldn't feel like that," Rangiku murmured. "You made a mistake, it happens. We learn and we grow."
"I know," Rukia sniffled, and finally she pulled herself away from Rangiku. "It's just so shit."
"You're one of the strongest girls I know, you'll get through this."
Rukia nodded and lifted her arms to wipe under her eyes with her sleeves. "Ew, my tear ducts work."
Snorting, Rangiku rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah, gross."
That got Rukia to smirk a little and there was the tiniest hint of an evil glint in her eye. That was almost normal.
It must have been hard to keep that in, all the emotion, stress and secrets. It was no surprise she finally broke when it all became too much.
"Why me?" Rukia groaned, wiping the last of her tears away. "It should have been you, no offence. We do the right thing, we use condoms every time."
"Sometimes those fuckers break," Rangiku muttered, ignoring the jibe because she knew Rukia didn't really mean it, and the girl sighed sufferingly.
"Don't remind me. I'm never having sex again."
Well Rangiku didn't believe that, but she was feeling terrible for Rukia. It wasn't nice for her to go through this, and Rangiku didn't like seeing her friends suffer.
She also felt a bit guilty, because she hadn't used a condom that night with Toshiro, and yet Rukia and Renji who had were the ones to conceive. It was hardly fair and Rukia knew it too obviously.
"Do you want to hear a secret?" Rangiku asked with a sigh, hoping to make it up to her a little bit. "It might make you feel better about your situation."
"Please," Rukia groaned.
"If I had gotten pregnant," Rangiku winced, "it would have been Toshiro's baby."
Violet eyes snapped to her instantly, and they were wide. For a moment Rukia just stared at her, but then she looked down and pressed her thumb and index finger against her eyelids and rubbed, like that stressed her out more than her pregnancy. Rangiku had hoped to feel better getting that off her chest, and she had hoped the gossip would have delighted Rukia, but the girl looked honestly disappointed in her.
"I take it back," she muttered. "I'm glad it was me that got pregnant."
Rangiku frowned, and wanted to ask what Rukia meant by that, but bright red hair caught her eye. Renji had found them and was approaching cautiously; he was biting the rim a plastic red cup and looked genuinely guilty as he caught up to them.
"Are you okay?" he asked Rukia quietly and she nodded, melting into his chest as his arms came around her.
"You were right," she mumbled against him. "I should have stayed home tonight. It was too soon to face everyone."
"Do you want to go home now?"
Rukia nodded and she untangled herself from Renji but held onto his hand as she turned back to Rangiku.
"Thanks for looking after me," she murmured. "Your cuddles are alright."
Rangiku grinned widely at that. She knew Rukia didn't hate hugs that much.
"Well I owed you one," Rangiku sighed. "You saved me on New Year's Eve."
"I did," Rukia realised. "Wow, you did owe me."
Rangiku rolled her eyes and chuckled. "And I'll owe you again now that you're hosting us at your beach house."
"Oh shit," Rukia muttered as she turned back to Renji. "Remind me to apologise to Ichigo. I upset him."
"Yeah, I heard," Renji sighed. "We need to talk to him properly."
Rangiku nodded encouragingly. She hadn't wanted to say anything to them with everything else they were dealing with but someone had to be in Ichigo's corner too. The guy deserved the truth.
"After Spring Break," Rukia decided with a sigh. "I don't want to ruin this week."
That was fair enough. The last thing their group needed was Ichigo moping around on their holiday. It would suck for him and for all of them who had to witness it.
They said goodbye to Rangiku and turned to leave.
"Renji," she called the burly man back, and he glanced over his shoulder at her. "You better take care of my girl, alright?"
Rukia rolled her eyes but Renji grinned widely. He pressed a kiss to his girlfriend's temple. "I will do my best."
Rangiku nodded and she watched them walk off, hand in hand, back towards the stairs.
Sighing, she turned the other way and headed back to where the party was happening. She found Ichigo where she had left him, and he was sitting now with Orihime and they were having a thumb war. It was nice to see Ichigo smiling and laughing for a moment. They both asked about Rukia and Rangiku had to lie again, simply saying Rukia wasn't feeling well and had some drama with her brother on her mind (not totally untrue), and that she had gone to bed.
"Did she mention me?" Ichigo asked hopefully, and Rangiku tried not to see Orihime's disappointed face.
"Not really, she just said she'd apologise," Rangiku told him. "I think she was just overwhelmed, so let her come to you like I said."
Ichigo seemed to accept that as he sighed and nodded and resumed his thumb war with Orihime.
"Where's Toshiro?" Rangiku asked. She had noticed he was missing instantly but in an effort not to give Ichigo too many clues in one night, she held off asking about him until the Rukia discussion was done.
"Well we chatted and he sobered up pretty quickly," Ichigo answered. "He was really embarrassed, by the way."
Rangiku grimaced internally. She didn't want him to be embarrassed, she was the one who had upset him.
Ichigo shrugged. "And then he went to help Renji drag Ikkaku's drunk ass to bed."
"Was that a two man job?" Rangiku frowned. Renji was buff as anything, he could take Ikkaku on his own. Still, it explained how Renji knew to come looking for Rukia – Toshiro had probably mentioned they had seen her storm off in tears.
"It is when Yumichika is flying off the handle," Ichigo shot her a look. "Crying about who knows what."
Rangiku smirked at that. Yumichika was emotional and dramatic – even more than Rangiku was – and a million times worse when he was on Prosecco like Rangiku had seen him drinking earlier.
"Fair enough."
She sat on the floor and watched Ichigo and Orihime for a while longer, encouraging them with a slightly flirtatious tone.
Toshiro eventually reappeared and he looked tired.
"I offended Yumichika," he murmured, sitting on the arm of the couch. "I told him I didn't want to watch him do a fashion parade in his dorm and he smacked me with his hair brush."
"You deserved that," Rangiku teased him, testing the waters and feeling better when Toshiro actually looked at her. "Never turn down a Fashion Major's catwalk show."
Yumichika was actually in a few of Rangiku's classes, since they were studying similar things. She wouldn't have known it though; he was frequently off in his own world or skipping classes to do photoshoots. He wanted to be a stylist, and he was certainly getting the work experience hours logged.
Rangiku on the other hand wanted to be a designer, and she was going to be grateful for Yumichika's connections when she launched her first fashion line.
"Lesson learned," Toshiro agreed wholeheartedly.
Rangiku grinned at him, and he smiled softly back at him. For a moment, their awkward exchange earlier was forgotten, but then he gestured to the door with his head, and Rangiku nodded, standing to follow him out.
"How was Rukia?" he asked when they were in the hallway.
"Alright in the end," Rangiku told him, before telling him what she had told Ichigo. She didn't like lying to Toshiro either, even though he wasn't actually directly involved like Ichigo. He was her best friend and she told him everything, but she couldn't tell him someone else's secret.
"Did Renji find her?" Toshiro asked. "He said he knew what it was about and could help."
"He did," Rangiku nodded. "He walked her back to her dorm."
"Good."
Thankfully Toshiro didn't ask more than that. Rangiku thought that was slightly odd in itself, and she wondered if he knew about them, or maybe even just had an inkling. She'd ask him later, when Rukia and Renji finally spoke to Ichigo and their relationship could be a little less secret.
"I'm sorry about before," he murmured, steering the conversation when Rangiku knew it would go. "I really don't know why I said that or got upset. I was being a drunken idiot."
"It's okay," Rangiku sighed, and she caught his hand and steered him down that same quiet hallway she had taken Rukia. It was a good spot for private chats.
She turned and pulled Toshiro into a tight hug. At first he was quite rigid but after a few seconds, he relaxed into her hold and hugged her back. It felt good to have him back with her. For the few minutes he had pulled away from her earlier, it had felt like torture. They never fought, and that hadn't even been a fight.
"I'm sorry," she murmured into him. "I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted."
She felt Toshiro swallow against her, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"It's not your fault," he murmured. "I was being stupid. We're friends and I know what our arrangement is."
Rangiku pulled back to look at him, trying to read those teal eyes she thought she knew so well.
"Are you still happy with that?" she asked him. "We can stop if it's making you feel weird."
She felt that anxiety creep up again, the type she hadn't felt since before she and Toshiro started fucking. She didn't really want to stop.
"No," Toshiro shook his head, and smiled a little when he saw Rangiku's undoubtedly very relieved face. He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "I don't want to stop."
"Good," Rangiku breathed, returning her face to the crook of his neck. She smiled feeling Toshiro's arms tighten around her.
"I got swept up," he murmured. "It won't happen again."
"I know you want a family," she squeezed him, "and one day you'll have a whole army of kids and they'll all be nerds."
It was her light-hearted way of telling him to hang in there. His big family was coming for him, and he was going to be so happy that he waited for them. The right partners were out there for them both and soon enough they'll find them.
"Gee, thanks," Toshiro's tone was filled with sarcasm.
"And I will be the fun aunty," Rangiku smirked into his shoulder. "Just as you will be the 'fun' uncle to my kids."
Toshiro sighed, "I can't wait." Rangiku pulled back and set him a sharp look, to which Toshiro chuckled. "Okay, I can wait. At least five more years."
"Make it ten," Rangiku told him sternly and Toshiro conceded, chuckling and nodding.
Satisfied, Rangiku returned her head to his shoulder and hugged him a little longer. This felt better. She knew sober Toshiro didn't really want that child, and it was nice to have that more intelligent version of him back. He held her tightly, his nose in her hair and for several more minutes they simply stood there hugging. It felt nice, and Rangiku tucked her face into his shoulder and inhaled his familiar scent.
She couldn't smell the alcohol there, just the comforting scent she always knew. It used to remind her of home, but now it reminded her of so much more.
She pushed her hips into him and leaned back to look at him.
"Protected sex?"
Toshiro smirked lazily back at her and his hands fell from her waist to her ass.
He squeezed her cheek. "Let's get out of here."
Rangiku grinned widely at him and took a step back, her hands catching his and pulling him gently with her. Toshiro's feet followed her and Rangiku turned, leading them towards the stairs.
They were between the third and second floor landings when they paused at a window to watch the rain outside. It was really lashing down. Their view was of the university's grassy study lawn but it was pitch black under the night sky. They could see the water fountain under the flood lights, it was situated just outside the dorm building doors. Rangiku had always loved that fountain; it reminded her of the one from the F.R.I.E.N.D.S opening.
"Come on," Toshiro grinned, and he pulled Rangiku along, down the stairs.
"Where are we going?" she asked when they passed the second floor where her dorm was.
"We're going dancing," Toshiro laughed, leading them quickly down to the ground floor.
"Dancing?" Rangiku echoed. "You hate clubs!"
But she worked out quickly that he had no intention of taking her to a nightclub. They ran out of the dorm building front door and Rangiku squealed, dropping his hand as he ran out into the rain.
"You're crazy!" she yelled after him from her safe spot under the shelter over the front entrance.
"Come on, Matsumoto," he teased her as he threw his arms out and spun around under the pouring rain. "Afraid of getting your hair wet?"
"Yes, actually!" Rangiku chortled. "It takes me half an hour to straighten this hair and now it's going to be all frizzy."
She heard the eye roll as Toshiro scoffed and stopped spinning. He turned to her and his grin was manic, and Rangiku couldn't help but smile back.
She knew she was getting dragged out there eventually, but she had to put up a bit of a fight.
Toshiro took a step towards her, and then another. He sauntered towards her, and Rangiku pursed her lips. He looked like he was in a boujee designer watch ad that didn't make sense, but fuck he was hot.
It reminded her of their time in the shower, except he had all his clothes on this time. Somehow how that turned Rangiku on more; she wanted to rip his clothes off and kiss that silly smirk off his face.
He reached to her and held out his hands. "Dance with me, Matsumoto."
Reluctantly, or at least making a show of being reluctant, Rangiku rolled her eyes and gave him her hands. His grin widened and he dragged her out into the rain. She squeaked when it hit her; it was cold and nowhere near as nice as the shower, but she had little time to dwell on it when Toshiro suddenly caught her waist and lifted her up.
Rangiku squealed as he spun her around effortlessly, her legs swinging behind them. He placed her down and immediate spun her under his arm before pulling her close again. Rangiku was laughing, her head hardly able to catch up with it all when he dipped her backwards and low, just like those ballroom dancers did.
"This is mad," Rangiku shrieked as Toshiro pulled her back up and lifted her up again.
It was mad, but she was loving it. She was now entirely drenched by the rain, and she knew her jeans would be near impossible to get off when they did eventually make it to the bedroom, but she also knew she hadn't had this much fun in years.
It was stupid, and borderline immature, but it reminded Rangiku of their friendship she had built with Toshiro from the time they were kids. The tables had turned though; once upon a time it would have been her dragging him into the rain to dance, but tonight it was him. They had grown up so much, and their roles had been traded back and forth so many times, but they were still uniquely themselves, and their bond had only grown stronger over the years.
She was laughing loudly when he placed her down again and she grinned at him as he smiled goofily at her. For a moment Toshiro didn't do anything. Rangiku's giggles subsided as teal stared at her. Around them the rain continued to pour, but it wasn't cold anymore.
Toshiro stepped closer to her then, his eyes locked onto hers. He reached up and tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ears, and then he kissed her.
Fuck, did he kiss her.
Toned arms held her tightly and flush against him, and soft lips crushed themselves against hers. He leaned over her like he had that time he kissed her for 'New Years', dipping her back slightly as he followed her, never breaking their closeness. Rangiku groaned, melting into the kiss, her arms coming around his shoulders and back, one hand settling in his wet hair and holding him even closer.
When his tongue entered her mouth, Rangiku's knees almost gave way. She was entirely his tonight, her body coming alive with a longing to feel him inside her once more. Toshiro held her steady, always her rock, and their tongues danced like they had in the rain.
When they broke apart they were panting, and Rangiku could even hear or feel the rain anymore. Her whole body was tingling with desire.
"Take me upstairs," she ordered him breathlessly, her forehead on his. "I want you to fuck me like you've never fucked anyone else."
Toshiro growled lowly into her neck and Rangiku shuddered.
She was going feel pleasure that no one else could dream of.
…
;)
For reference, the smut scene that follows this last scene is the flashback scene in 'Dress'. Feel free to go back and read it for context, otherwise if you don't want the spoiler wait until we get up to that chapter (I'll let you know when).
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