I couldn't post this chapter on my queen's birthday, that'd just be mean.

I won't be able to get the next chapter up in time for Rangiku's special day either, but for my tumblr followers and discord pals, I'll post a cheeky preview ;)

…

The Greatest Drought

Rangiku was a lot of things on this Friday evening; drunk, lonely, horny… and in love with someone she shouldn't be.

'In love'? Well, maybe not. It was hard to tell when she was seeing two of everything.

Okay maybe she wasn't that drunk. She wasn't going to do that to herself the weekend before final exams, at the same bar she'd had her drink spiked at. She was a little drunk though, enough to feel emotional and perhaps a little ballsy.

"Damn nerd," she muttered into her drink before she knocked back another mouthful of her gin and tonic.

She was at The Pink Kimono, she couldn't remember why. It was probably someone's birthday or someone's stupid idea of unwinding before exams started. Toshiro didn't come – he was studying, or so he said. Maybe that was a lie; maybe he had someone else he'd rather spend time with.

That thought stung Rangiku, and she felt the overwhelming need to run home and check what he was doing.

"Why are we here again?" she groaned, speaking to no one in particular. She wasn't have a good time at all.

"It was your idea," Orihime pointed out, tone a tad perplexed. "You said we needed to unwind before exams."

Yeah, that tracked.

She was with Ichigo, Orihime and Chad. Well, she was with Orihime and Ichigo – Chad had been dragged out to dance with some girls from his class (who knew their quietest friend was so popular with the ladies?!).

"Do you want me to go?" Rangiku asked Orihime as Ichigo walked off to get them more drinks.

"No, why?" Orihime frowned.

"I feel like I'm third wheeling."

Orihime rolled her eyes but her grin was not hidden.

"You know it's not like that," she said with a giggle. "We're just hanging out."

Rangiku gave a disbelieving hum and took another big gulp of her drink, which was largely just ice water now.

It had been two months since the drama of the beach house. Two months since Ichigo found out about Renji and Rukia and snapped at Orihime. Two months since Toshiro broke of his sexual relationship with Rangiku, just as she had been about to tell him her feelings had grown beyond that.

Things with their friendship group were off, to say the least.

Rukia and Renji had sat down with Ichigo to clear the air, but it was clear the rift was still there though things had been patched on the surface. They rarely hung out anymore and the group felt split.

For the most part, Toshiro and Rangiku's relationship returned to normal. Annoyingly normal. They hung out, they watched movies, they ate food, but not once did they touch. Not once did they speak about what they used to do or why they had stopped. Rangiku hated it.

On the other hand, Orihime and Ichigo had grown closer and that was about the only positive to come out of the whole thing.

Ichigo had apologised, profusely and with a big hug that had Orihime melting apparently. They had gone out for the afternoon and ended up eating fish and chips on the pier, talking about their emotions.

"I told him how I felt," Orihime had blurted out the moment she walked back through their dorm room door. Rangiku had almost choked on her noodles.

"What?!"

"Yeah, I just told him," Orihime had covered her mouth with her hand, but her eyes were glimmering happily. "It felt good to finally get it out."

"Holy shit," Rangiku breathed as Orihime came to sit with her on the couch. "What did he say?"

"Well, he was very surprised. Said he had no idea."

Rangiku nodded. Of course Ichigo didn't know how Orihime felt, he'd been so focused on Rukia.

"Anyway," Orihime had continued with a slight sigh. "He said he was glad I told him and that he would need a bit of time to wrap his head around it."

Well… that was certainly fair in Rangiku's book. As much as she wished it was obvious to Ichigo, she knew someone's feelings couldn't just switch on and off so easily. If that were the case, Rangiku wouldn't have been sitting alone on a Friday night, pining over her best friend.

For so long, Ichigo had been chasing after Rukia, which had been a totally futile battle. Now Orihime had thrown a feelings grenade into the mix, so Rangiku was glad Ichigo was going to take some time to sort through his feelings. If Toshiro had done what Orihime had back when Rangiku was pursuing Gin, she would have been totally blindsided by it too (not that Toshiro felt that for her clearly). The best thing Ichigo could do to be fair to both him and Orihime was to think on it for a little while.

Rangiku would keep an eye on that situation though, and make sure Ichigo didn't string things out or jump into something he wasn't ready for, just because he was lonely. Not that she thought Ichigo was that kind of guy, but Rangiku had to look out for Orihime.

That had been several weeks ago now, but of course the exam season had swung in (most unexpectedly to someone not following the semester calendar as closely as Toshiro). It had distracted all of them, and disrupted their social lives. These days Rangiku rarely saw anyone but Nanao and Shuuhei because they were always in the library and about the only two who tolerated her study whining.

"How are you things with you and Ichigo now?" Rangiku asked Orihime then, noticing the girl staring after their orange-haired friend at the bar.

"The same," she shrugged with a slight sigh. "I think the exams are stressing us all out, but he's been texting me a lot and we study together. He says he likes spending time with me. Apparently I always make him smile."

Rangiku grinned though it hurt a little. "That's a good sign."

Orihime blushed and nodded. She didn't notice Rangiku swallow and look away.

On one hand, Rangiku was so thrilled for Orihime that she had managed to tell Ichigo how she felt, and that Ichigo was largely responding positively. It looked good for them, and once exams passed, maybe they'd go on a date and see about starting something romantic.

On the other hand, Rangiku had no one to go on dates with, and feelings she couldn't speak out loud. If she did, she'd only make things weird with Toshiro. She'd only get hurt. It was too real for her now.

"Your drinks, Ladies," Ichigo's voice drawled, interrupting Rangiku's thought spiral and she clicked back into reality to find a fresh gin and tonic in front of her.

"Merci," she murmured, picking it up and taking a swig. She glanced around the bar; it was quieter than normal, what with exams looming. Rangiku spotted Grimmjow laughing with his friends and quickly looked elsewhere, hoping to avoid a run in with him. She didn't have her 'fake boyfriend' to save her this time.

Beside her, Ichigo and Orihime were chatting again, bordering on flirting.

"I just remember Tatsuki kicking your butt," Orihime teased him, in a way Rangiku was just so, so proud of. "And you cried, if I remember correctly."

"Hey now," Ichigo chuckled. "It takes a brave man to take on Tatsuki Arisawa. She's terrifying."

"She was seven," Orihime grinned widely.

"So was I!" Ichigo exclaimed, indignant yet he was laughing. "I'm pretty sure she came out the womb a black belt."

Orihime giggled and nodded in agreement. Rangiku frowned slightly as the two of them beamed at each other, their eyes sparkling brightly.

Ichigo might not have worked out how he felt but he was right that Orihime made him happy. She probably had for a long time, he'd just been too much of a dumbass to see it. Still, it was a feeling that could be so easily mistaken for friendship, as Rangiku knew personally.

For so long, Toshiro had made her happy, and she hadn't given it a second thought. Until now.

Downing her whole drink quickly, Rangiku stood and frowned only slightly at the head rush.

"Are you okay, Ran?" Orihime asked her, brown eyes concerned as she reached out to steady her.

"I'm going head home," Rangiku announced, picking up her purse and jacket. She swung them around and accidentally knocked over her old drink, the glass breaking on the table and ice falling to the floor. Whoops.

"I'll walk with you," Ichigo made to stand but Rangiku waved him off.

"No need, it's just down the street."

"Ran," Ichigo chuckled as he sent her a pointed look. "I'm not sure you understand the strict instructions I am under to ensure you get home safely tonight."

Rangiku clicked her tongue impatiently. "If Toshiro wanted to make sure of that, he should have come tonight."

Ichigo frowned slightly at her. "Are you two fighting?"

No, they weren't. Things were normal. Rangiku hated it.

She took a deep breath and shook her head. Whatever she was feeling on the inside, it wasn't allowed to come out.

"No, it's fine," she sighed. "I'm just tired and stressed about the exams. I want to go home."

Ichigo and Orihime shared a worried look that Rangiku didn't love, and Ichigo stood again.

"We'll walk you back," Ichigo insisted quietly, his eyes sympathetic. "Just to the campus gates."

Rangiku sighed and accepted, but she felt bad about making them leave with her.

They took their drinks with them and walked her out of the bar and down the street. They were still reminiscing about school and chatting happily, but Rangiku stayed quiet, walking a few steps in front of them and trying to keep her emotions in check. The alcohol had been a bad idea; it didn't make her unwind, it made her emotional.

They reached the campus gates but Ichigo and Orihime followed her inside, back to the dorm building. Just as they reached the door, they bumped into Renji and Rukia who were exiting, picnic blanket in hand.

Cue awkward interactions.

Rangiku didn't say anything, leaning against the wall now that her drink was hitting her, but she watched the other four greet each other. It was uncomfortable to watch, or that might have just have been Rangiku's own nausea – hard to tell.

"We're, um," Rukia started, glancing back at Renji briefly before turning back to Ichigo and Orihime. "We're meeting Ikkaku and Yumichika in the quad for some drinks. Do you want to come?"

Ichigo and Orihime exchanged a quick look, but to Rangiku's surprise they agreed. They looked at her for an answer too but Rangiku shook her head and pushed herself away from the wall.

"I'm going to bed," she muttered. "Have fun."

They wished her a good night, except Rukia who shot her a disapproving look; she must have known where Rangiku was intending to go, and it certainly wasn't to bed (not her bed anyway). Ignoring her, Rangiku slipped inside the door and made her way up the horrific number of stairs to the fourth floor. She navigated to Toshiro's dorm, fixing her hair and outfit as she went.

She didn't know why she was going, or what she wanted to get out of it, but before she knew it, she was at his door and knocking.

Toshiro opened it and his eyes swept her.

"Come on," he sighed, stepping aside to let her in. "Water and bread?"

Did she look that drunk?

Rangiku hummed, entering the dorm and kicking off her shoes. She moved to the couch and collapsed at the end.

She watched him move around the kitchen and noticed the books open on the table. So he had been studying, that was reassuring.

"You didn't come," she murmured sadly.

"Because I believe in studying before exams, Matsumoto," Toshiro smirked as he returned to her, carrying the aforementioned water and bread. "Not drinking."

"No hot dates then?" Rangiku had tried to tease him, but it perhaps came out more bitter than she intended. Either way, Toshiro didn't seem fazed as he sat at the other end of the couch.

"Not when I have a physics exam first thing on Monday."

So he was open to dating again then. Great.

Rangiku chewed her bread and sipped her water, but she didn't feel much better. Toshiro picked a text book off the coffee table and flipped it open before leaning back and reading it casually. Rangiku stared in silence.

How could be so normal around her? How could his jaw be that sharp?

"Did you have a good night at least?" he asked without taking his eyes off the book.

"You weren't there," Rangiku repeated, as if that were answer enough. To her it was.

"You've had plenty of fun without me before," Toshiro murmured, still reading.

Rangiku didn't know what he meant by that, if he even meant anything by it at all. Of course she'd had fun without him before. She had often gone out with just the girls or their friends while Toshiro studied, not to mention she had dated Gin for almost a whole year and they'd had a lot of fun together. These days though, the most fun she had was with Toshiro.

It probably wasn't a dig. Why would it be? He didn't have feelings for her.

Placing down her water and bread, Rangiku crawled across the couch and laid down, her head in his lap, Toshiro lifting his book and arms to allow her in.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Toshiro even switched to holding his book in one hand and stroking Rangiku's hair with the other. Rangiku closed her eyes and breathed. This felt normal, but in a good way. It was normal to before and during their sexual adventures. It was this gentle affection she missed more than anything.

Rangiku hummed happily and tilted her head, her face pressing into his stomach. He was warm as always.

This was her happy place; in his lap, her hair being stoked by his hand. Being close to him – that's all she wanted.

Rangiku tilted her head back and peaked up at his face. His eyes were scanning the page, moving back and forth as he read. He had a slight crease in his brow as he concentrated. He looked cute.

Without thinking, Rangiku sat up, her hands reaching for Toshiro's jaw. She caught him and pressed their lips together.

They were soft, as they always were, but they didn't move with her. In fact they only tolerated her for a second before gentle hands pushed her away.

"No, Matsumoto," Toshiro sighed tiredly. "We're not doing this anymore."

"But we kissed before," Rangiku argued. "We can still do that."

She moved to kiss him again but Toshiro caught her and held her back.

"No, we can't," he told her slowly, as if trying to make her understand.

Rangiku felt like she had been slapped. She didn't understand. They had been kissing since they were teenagers, before they'd had the hormones to really understand it. It pre-dated their sex adventures by years, so why couldn't they still do it?

"Why not?"

She felt so small and it must have been obvious too because Toshiro pulled her close again as he sighed deeply, tucking her head under his chin where she couldn't reach for his lips.

"Because we don't want to lose each other as friends," he murmured. "Because you made it clear that we weren't supposed to end up together."

Well, well. If it wasn't the consequences of her own actions.

Rangiku felt tears coming but she stayed perfectly still and silent.

She should never have told Toshiro he'd meet someone else. She had meant it too, and it hadn't been that long ago. That was almost the worst part of it, how quickly things had flipped. She had been convinced they would both meet the people of their dreams, but little did she know she had already met hers.

But it seemed a sober Toshiro agreed with a sober her.

Was it just the alcohol making her think like this? Rangiku couldn't remember. She just knew that she didn't want him to let her go.

She held onto Toshiro's shirt and prayed he kept holding her.

Her thoughts were all over the place, her heart a dumpster fire of emotions. She tried to listen to Toshiro's heart beating in his chest to calm down, but it was erratic and fast, so she lifted her head to his shoulder and held onto him tightly.

"Can we still hug?"

"Of course we can, Matsumoto."

That was at least one relief. Thankfully he didn't let her go, he allowed her to stay in her position, clinging on to him.

He let her stay there until she fell asleep, and Rangiku woke up several hours later, alone on the couch, with the vague memory of him whispering to her.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

…

Midway through the exam period, Rangiku hosted a small girls' night. The boys were having a night of their own, and the girls chose to do the same. For them, it was a night to relax, one that would be spent in their pyjamas, eating cheese and drinking wine – perhaps some minor planning of SUWA's End of Year Party in a couple weeks' time.

They decided to pamper themselves with face masks and even do a spot of painting. It seemed to de-stress everyone, as they got to take their mind off their studies for a couple of hours – except Nemu, who painted a computer chip. Inspired but not very creative.

It was a nice night, and it was nice to have the girls together again without the boys to make things awkward again.

"So I told Byakuya about Renji," Rukia announced with a sigh, and everyone's eyes snapped to her.

"How did he take it?" Rangiku asked.

"Not great at first, said Renji wasn't worth the distraction from my classes," Rukia winced. "Then I got upset and he toned it down. Now the three of us are going to dinner after the exams."

"Well, that's good," Rangiku offered, uncertain. "Right?"

Rukia shrugged. "I think so. I think Byakuya is realising he needs to let me be me. I hope so anyway."

Rangiku nodded while frowning. Honestly, the power Byakuya wanted over her was ridiculous and the standards he held her too were impossible. It seemed his love was conditional, but Rangiku hoped Rukia was right that he was starting to realise how much it affected her. Rukia deserved to live her own life and stop tiptoeing around everyone.

"Renji is freaking out," Rukia chuckled then. "He spent all last night polishing his best shoes. The dinner is still weeks away."

Well that was interesting picture. Renji must have really liked Rukia to go up against Byakuya Kuchiki, especially with his dream job on the line. Rangiku wished him the best of luck, and decided she would offer to help get him ready for the night. She'd find him a nice suit and work out a way to tame those wild red locks. Gods, she hoped Renji would let her pluck his eyebrows.

"Ichigo said he'd lend him his cufflinks," Orihime nodded, obviously having heard about this before.

"Oh he has nice ones too," Rangiku hummed, already mentally putting together this outfit for Renji. For a second it was more interesting to her than the fact Ichigo was going to help out.

"So things are better with Ichigo then?" Nanao asked Rukia. She hadn't been at the beach house but she might as well have been with how much Rangiku had spoken about it to her (well… she hadn't mentioned the stuff with Toshiro).

"Much better," Rukia nodded and smiled. "I think after that night in the quad, we've all relaxed a little."

She grinned and held up her phone to a photo that Renji must have sent her. It was of him and Ichigo, lifting weights in front of a mirror at the gym. Rangiku squinted, seeing the white hair in the background. It could only belong to one person.

"Their boys' night tonight consists of going to the gym," Rukia sighed. "But hey, whatever works. I'm just glad things are back to normal now."

Rangiku wasn't glad things were back to normal, but that wasn't about Ichigo, Renji and Rukia. Orihime was nodding enthusiastically though. It must have been one Hell of a night in quad.

Rangiku had received the full debrief from Orihime once she had gotten home from sleeping alone on Toshiro's couch. Apparently they all just got really drunk and talked it out properly. Emotions were shared, hugs were given, and suddenly everything just felt better.

See, alcohol really was the cure.

Unless it was Rangiku and Toshiro, then it wasn't worth the hassle. Though, to be fair, it had been a long time since they'd both been drunk at the same time. Maybe that was the solution- no. Okay no.

She and Toshiro had once again resumed their 'normal' relationship. He hadn't mentioned that night to her again, outside of a text the next morning that simply said 'are you okay?' when he found the couch empty. She'd replied with a joke about the severity of her hangover.

They had shaken off that awkward interaction, and were back to where they started at the beginning of the year (minus the kissing). It sucked, but in many ways it was good. He was still her best friend, she hadn't lost that, and their friendship was the most important thing to her.

Speak (or think) of the Devil, Rangiku felt her phone buzz and picked it up, seeing Toshiro's name flash across the screen with the promise of an attached picture.

Toshiro
They spent 20mins getting the perfect shot. My eyes hurt from rolling so much

The photo was a picture of Renji and Ichigo from behind, posing in the gym mirror. Rangiku snorted and showed the girls. From this angle, the guys looked ridiculous.

"Oh Babe," Rukia smirked at the photo. "And he thinks I'm bad for making him take photos of me whenever we go out."

Rangiku rolled her eyes and took her phone back.

Rangiku
You have just unleashed Hell (Rukia) on Renji. She's going to take the piss out of him for this one.

Toshiro
Good. He called me tiny.

Rangiku grinned down at her phone. She had to bite her lip from returning a flirty reply about something of Toshiro's that was most certainly not tiny.

Alas flirting, like kissing, was probably off the table.

Instead, she went for a simple crying laughter emoji times three. Perfectly innocent. Perfectly lame.

"And you and Ichigo are…?" Nanao queried with Orihime, unsure of where she was taking that question apparently.

"I'm not sure," Orihime sighed. "We agreed to get through exams and then talk about it. We've been spending a lot of time together lately, but I'm worried it's too friendship-y, if that makes sense?"

"At the quad you two couldn't stop flirting," Rukia frowned. "When I spoke to Ichigo that night, he seemed to be really enjoying your company."

"I think he is," Orihime agreed with small smile, like she was almost reluctant to give herself that hope, "but I'm not sure he sees me in that way. I'm scared we're forcing things."

Rangiku had being hearing this for weeks, and she got every detail out of her dorm mate because she wanted to live vicariously through someone who was about to start a new relationship (potentially).

The thing is, Rangiku got it. She understood both sides, and she understood them because she was them. Both of them, at one time or another.

For years and years, she had been Ichigo. She had never once looked at Toshiro in a romantic light, she had only seen him as a friend. She had known him since he was a little boy, and it had never occurred to her to imagine him growing up, even though they both had. She never thought to have sexual thoughts about him, even when she knew he had started doing that with Karin, his first girlfriend, and Rangiku was sexually active herself. It did not occur to her to see Toshiro in any romantic manner, sexual or otherwise, until it hit her how he had become her protector and the only person she could trust wholeheartedly.

She had been Ichigo for years, but now she was Orihime. She was the girl that fell in love with her best friend, who wanted desperately to be seen by him in this romantic light. But unfortunately Toshiro was also Ichigo, and he wasn't likely to change his mind, if the other night was anything to go by.

"Make him see it," Rukia told Orihime then. "Keep flirting, Honey."

"I'm not a very good flirter," Orihime sighed, disheartened.

"Kiss him then," Rukia shrugged. "Give him something to think about."

Rangiku took a big sip of her wine. As much as Rukia's suggestion was a good one and one Rangiku might have suggested herself in the past, her recent experience taught her something else. Hell, she and Toshiro had been like rabbits for months, and yet it didn't give him anything 'to think about', other than how dangerous it was for their friendship. She had kissed him a week ago, and he had pushed her off.

Toshiro didn't think with his dick like a lot of guys, and she doubted Ichigo would either. Kissing them out of the blue wasn't going to make them all lovey-dovey.

...

Finally, after a gruelling two weeks, their second year final exams were over! Halle-fucking-lujah.

Rangiku hadn't done her best, she knew it. She had way too much on her mind to focus, and she hadn't had the best nights' sleep over the Hellish fortnight. She was fairly confident she had passed though, and that was the main thing.

Still, she needed a fun night out and perhaps a nice stiff drink, and she knew someone else who probably needed one.

Toshiro, the study-aholic, had completed his last exam today too. He was in need of a serious session to unwind, and what kind of best friend would Rangiku be if she didn't help him out? And by 'help him out', she meant 'get him wildly drunk on those ridiculous cocktail buckets they served at happy hour'.

It had also been sunny and warm for the last few days as summer approached, so Rangiku thought it would be nice to sit out in the nice weather after two weeks of stuffy library time.

And who knows, maybe Rangiku might even meet a guy to take her mind off the latest drama? She didn't really want to meet another guy, but apparently she was going to have to eventually – since Toshiro didn't seem to want her that way.

At the very least, she wanted to prove to both Toshiro and herself that she could get drunk and not try to kiss him or tell him how she felt. She had been avoiding him too long now.

Rangiku nodded, determined, and marched on down the dorm hallways. She reached Toshiro's door and knocked.

Ichigo answered.

"Hey Ran," he greeted, standing aside to let her in. "Toshiro's unwell if you're looking for him."

"I was," Rangiku stopped inside the dorm, her eyes falling to the couch where Toshiro was asleep. He was definitely unwell; his skin was pale and sweat beaded his forehead. "Migraine?"

Ichigo hummed. "Yeah. Hit him pretty hard this time though."

Grimacing, Rangiku moved closer to the couch, hovering over her best friend. He looked terrible. She sighed and sat by his legs, leaning over to cup Toshiro's sweaty cheek. He was hot and his brow creased at her touch.

Elsewhere in the room, Ichigo moved and a moment later, Rangiku heard the kitchen tap turn on.

"Do you think it's the stress of exams?" she asked quietly, feeling Ichigo return.

She leaned back as he reached between her and Toshiro, and placed a damp cloth on the latter's forehead. Toshiro's brow relaxed instantly and he gave a soft groan as his head tilted to the side.

"Definitely stress," Ichigo commented when Toshiro stilled again. "Maybe the heat too."

"I feel bad," Rangiku murmured. "I should have taken him out and made him step away from the books."

Ichigo waved her off as he sat on the floor by his roommate's head. "You wouldn't have been able to. I lived with him and couldn't get him to stop even for an hour's break, except for the night we went to the gym but that was only because I stole his laptop and books and hid them until he agreed to come workout with us."

Rangiku nodded but her guilt only intensified. She felt bad because she knew she might have contributed to Toshiro's stress, what with her turning up to his dorm drunk and trying to kiss him. After he told her no, she had been avoiding him a little. They still texted most days, but not once did Rangiku try to spend time with him, which was out of the ordinary. Maybe Ichigo was right and maybe it wouldn't have helped if she did, but Rangiku had always been able to convince Toshiro to do anything with her. She hadn't tried though, because she still felt embarrassed and awkward about the last time she saw him. Tonight was the first night she'd gathered up the courage to be in the same room as him, after the greatest drought their friendship had ever experienced.

"He really threw himself into it this time, didn't he?" Rangiku sighed, and in her peripheral vision Ichigo nodded.

"He hasn't been himself lately," Ichigo agreed. "I don't know if that's the exams or what. He was so happy a few months ago."

Yeah, regular sex would do that to a man. Rangiku swallowed but stayed quiet.

"He'll be okay though," Ichigo continued more positively. "He usually bounces back after a decent sleep."

Rangiku nodded, unable to contribute much more.

She decided to stay, sitting by Toshiro's legs on the couch and watching over him. Ichigo didn't have any plans that night but to study, since he had one final exam in the morning, but he seemed to be happy to have Rangiku's company as he reviewed his notes. They never really hung out alone, unless Toshiro was involved one way or another, but it was nice.

They put on some quiet music and Rangiku ordered pizza. Toshiro was dead to the world, only stirring slightly when Ichigo refreshed the cloth on his forehead every half hour or so. When Rangiku was tired, she folded herself over him, her head on his stomach.

She felt selfish, because even though he was lying there sick all she wanted was to feel his arms wrap around her and hold her.

Fuck, she needed a distraction.

"How are you feeling about Orihime?" she asked Ichigo, forcing herself to sit up again.

Ichigo paused over his notes and sighed. "I don't know," he murmured, dropping his notes in his lap.

Rangiku grimaced. "What's the issue?"

How could anyone not like Orihime? The woman was a goddess-

"I think she's beautiful," Ichigo turned to Rangiku and his amber eyes were honest. "Inside and out. I love spending time with her, but I'd never thought about her like that until she told me about her feelings. I've known her since we were kids."

Rangiku nodded but was yet to see the issue she'd asked about, though she did understand Ichigo not noticing Orihime before now, as she had basically done the same thing with Toshiro.

"She's one of my best friends," Ichigo continued with another sigh. "I'm just… hesitant, I guess, after everything with Rukia."

"You don't want to get hurt," Rangiku guessed.

"I don't," Ichigo agreed, "but more than that, I don't want to hurt Orihime. I don't want to lose her as a friend. Mixing feelings with friends is too dangerous, I found that out the hard way."

Oh this was all too familiar. Painfully so.

Rangiku cleared her throat. She needed to get something off her chest.

"I'm sort of in the same boat with Toshiro right now."

Ichigo's eyes, which had fallen to his lap, snapped back to Rangiku and they were shocked, perhaps even alarmed. It was almost a mirror image of Rukia's reaction when Rangiku told her and instantly she was regretting it, but it was too late now.

"What?" Ichigo asked, his tone incredulous.

"Yeah, I don't know," Rangiku shrugged casually. Why she thought going to Ichigo, Toshiro's brother-figure, about this was a good idea, she didn't know. "I just… I've started having feelings for him."

Ichigo's eyes were almost comically wide. "He doesn't know, does he?"

"No," Rangiku answered quietly, hyper aware of the fact Toshiro was asleep between them. "I wanted to tell him, but I don't think he'll reciprocate and… well, I don't want to lose him as a friend either."

Ichigo continued to stare at her, and she could see his mental cogs turning. After a moment, his eyes dropped to Toshiro and he stared at him for a while. Rangiku winced, waiting for Ichigo to give her the negative news she didn't want to hear.

It was like telling Rukia all over again, although the sides of the stories they got were different. Rukia heard about the feeling-less sex while Ichigo heard about the sex-less feelings.

"What makes you think he won't reciprocate your feelings?" Ichigo asked in a whisper, his eyes leaving Toshiro to gaze back up at Rangiku.

She sighed. Okay, now she had to tell Ichigo about the sex.

So she did, and Ichigo looked more and more disturbed as she explained the story, start to finish, from the kissing as teens all the way to the beach house dumping.

"I see," was all Ichigo seemed to manage after Rangiku finished, but then he turned to Toshiro's sleeping form and shook his head. "You little shit, keeping that from me."

Rangiku would have laughed and rolled her eyes but she was sensing she was in trouble now. For a painful moment, it was silent between them. The soft music was still on, and Toshiro breathed steadily in his sleep. Ichigo frowned, seemingly to himself as he glanced away, his expression turning thoughtful.

"I don't know what to do," Rangiku murmured when Ichigo didn't say anything. "I don't want to tell him if I'm only going to get hurt, but I feel like I am already hurting because I haven't told him."

"I can't step in here," Ichigo turned back to her. "I can't talk to him for you if that's what you want."

"It's not," Rangiku assured him. "I just needed to talk this through."

Some good advice might not have gone astray.

Ichigo sent her a look that said he wasn't happy about being brought into the secret, though at the same time he seemed equally offended that Toshiro had spoken to him about it himself.

At that moment Toshiro mumbled incoherently and they both snapped their gazes to him. He was still asleep but wincing in pain. Silently, Ichigo took the washcloth off his head and stood, taking it to the kitchen to wet it again. Rangiku reached over Toshiro and ran her fingers through his damp hair and for a moment his pained expression eased. She felt a weak hand on her knee as Toshiro's eyes flickered.

"Ran," he murmured, voice hoarse with sleep.

"Hey," Rangiku smiled at him. No matter what, she couldn't help her heart skipping when he called her that. Everyone else did, but it was special coming from him.

Ichigo was back, placing the fresh washcloth on Toshiro's head again. That seemed to really wake Toshiro up as teal eyes opened fully and he recognised his surroundings. He groaned and Rangiku moved back as he tried to sit himself up. She helped him as Ichigo produced two white pills and a glass of water.

"Take these," he instructed. "It's been hours since your last dose."

Toshiro hummed and took the pills with a croaky 'thanks' before swallowing them with the water.

"Feeling like shit, huh?" Rangiku murmured.

"I got stuck in my ethics exam," he whined, leaning back into the couch cushions. "They asked a hard question and I got stuck, then the time ran out and I failed."

"You don't take ethics," Rangiku pointed out. She was familiar with this. Toshiro often had nightmares about failing exams, especially around midterms and finals.

"Oh," Toshiro frowned. "I don't take ethics."

"Perhaps just a dream then?"

Toshiro's frown deepened as if trying to distinguish that memory. After a moment he sighed, defeated. "I need to go to bed."

As much as Rangiku wished he could sit out with them and spend time with her, she knew he was right. She had seen him sick from migraines and the heat before and rest was about the only good thing for it.

He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth as Ichigo cleaned up the pizza boxes from earlier. Rangiku stayed where she was, her thoughts starting to stray into dangerous territory. She wondered, however ridiculously, if Toshiro was only going to bed to avoid hanging out with her.

He wasn't, because he wasn't that kind of guy, and when he emerged from the bathroom and collected a glass of water to take to bed, he turned back to her.

"Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" he asked her. "Assuming I'm not dying then too."

Rangiku chuckled lightly, feeling her thoughts turning away from the dark. "I'm going shopping with Orihime tomorrow for the End of Year Party, but after that? We could go for a drink at the bar with all the board games?"

It was the nerd's favourite place to drink, but they rarely went because it was out of the way and frankly, Rangiku didn't care for board games.

But to see Toshiro's grin when she suggested it was worth it.

"I'd like that," he beamed and Rangiku melted inside a little. He turned to Ichigo then. "Do you want to come? Bring Orihime?"

Well, Rangiku wasn't sure if she was offended that he'd asked others to join them, or proud that he was still rooting for Ichigo and Orihime to get together.

She felt Ichigo glance her way but they didn't make eye contact.

"Uh, yeah, I'll see if she wants to go."

"Great," Toshiro nodded and then winced, his head obviously not a fan of that gesture right now. He gave them a weak wave before disappearing into his bedroom.

Quietly, Ichigo returned to Rangiku and sat on the couch beside her.

"We don't have to come if you want to talk to Toshiro privately," he offered in a low tone, but Rangiku shook her head.

"No, come," she told him with a small sigh. "I don't know what I want to do right now. It's a mess."

She was so conflicted over it. She couldn't tell if the risk was worth it to tell him how she felt. It was a huge gamble, and she'd never won anything betting.

"Look, Ran," Ichigo exhaled and his eyes locked with her. Amber was serious but there was something else in them. "I don't think you could ever lose his friendship, he loves you too much. I think you should tell him how you feel."

Rangiku straightened, surprised. "Really? What happened to 'mixing feelings with friends is too dangerous'?"

She didn't think he'd support her on this. Rukia didn't.

"It is dangerous," Ichigo agreed quickly. "Which is why I think you need to be really sure of what you want. Like, really fucking sure, Rangiku. You can't use him until someone better comes along."

"I would never-"

"I know," Ichigo shook his head, correcting in a hurry. "All I mean is that you need to be so certain of your feelings for him before you talk to him about it. Otherwise you could just be hurting the both of you."

Rangiku exhaled slowly. Yeah, she knew that she had to be sure. The problem was she wasn't sure. What if her feelings were entirely born out of her fear or laziness after a tough time trying to get back into dating after Gin? She had known Toshiro for a decade and it was only now that she was having feelings for him, so what if they weren't legitimate? In an instant, she was questioning everything. Then she started overthinking her overthinking, and that's when she knew it was bad.

"I've seen him hurt too many times," Ichigo continued, maybe seeing her face and reading her mind. "I don't want to see it again… and I don't want to see you hurting either. I care about you both."

Nodding, Rangiku swallowed.

She had to be sure, and that meant she needed to think about it. She realised now how right Ichigo was to be taking the time to consider his situation with Orihime, as frustrating as it was for the girl in question.

There was a fine line between making sure feelings were genuine and not stringing someone along, though.

Rangiku thanked him and stood, making her way to the door to see herself out. She paused a few steps from it though, and turned back to Ichigo.

"Orihime is a special girl," she told him. "She's no one's second choice. Whatever you do, make sure she knows that."

Ichigo nodded in agreement. "I know, and I'll make sure she knows too. I just need a little more time. I want to know my feelings are genuine, not a matter of convenience."

Accepting that, Rangiku turned and left the dorm. Her body felt heavy though, as she started to get the uncomfortable nagging feeling that perhaps there was no hope for her or even Orihime. At the end of the day it came down to feelings, and no one could force feelings on someone.

Nevertheless, she and Ichigo had to do some serious thinking. Their best friends were involved. They had to be certain of what they wanted.

...

"Oh my goodness, navy blue," Rangiku squealed, pulling the sparkling fabric from the rack. "Orihime, you have to try this on, you always look stunning in navy."

It was the ginger hair; it worked so magically with blue tones.

"Oh I like this," Orihime cooed, joining Rangiku at the rack and reaching out to feel the fabric.

"Try it on," Rangiku ordered, passing her the dress and pushing her towards the fitting rooms. "Come out and show me when it's on."

They were dress shopping for the End of Year party next weekend. As the last exams were finishing up today, SUWA (thanks to their Spring Break party swap) were planning the event, and while Rangiku came up with the theme 'Dress to Impress' (AKA black tie), Nanao had managed to book a venue. Excitingly, the party was to be held off campus, in a classy function room at the local golf club. It was quite the fancy place, but thanks to Nanao's rigid budget-keeping skills over the year and the fact she could haggle anyone down, they were able to afford the room. People were going to have to buy their own drinks (which ultimately would be more expensive than the uni bar) but for their last night of university, Rangiku doubted many would care.

Second year was done and dusted.

Alas Rangiku was more stressed than she had been all year. She hadn't slept much last night, Ichigo's words that evening circling in her mind.

She had to be sure, but even if she was sure, there was still the highly likely scenario that Toshiro was going to turn around and tell her he didn't feel the same.

Rangiku almost wanted to hold back from thinking about how she truly felt, because if she admitted how strongly she felt and he didn't want to even consider her romantically, then that was going to hurt even more than it already did.

They were going to the bar with the board games tonight, and Ichigo had suspiciously invited Chad along as well as Orihime. Rangiku knew what he was doing; he had brought Chad in as the social buffer. In all honestly, Rangiku couldn't blame him after hearing where his head was at, and if she was being entirely truthful, she was glad there was going to be an extra person to converse with if things got awkward or she needed the distraction from her own thoughts.

…and that was why she had invited Nanao and Shuuhei to join them. They had recently gone public about their relationship, and both were nerdy enough to be interested in board games.

Rangiku sighed to herself; she really was a coward. Eventually she was going to have to face Toshiro alone; at this stage, both of them were going to be spending their summers home in Junrinan. She did feel that it might be a good time to really consider things. There were very few distractions in that tiny town, and the clean air might give her mind some clarity.

"It's so nice!" Orihime called from the dressing room, and that's when Rangiku realised she had been frozen on the spot, lost amongst her busy thoughts, in the middle of the store.

She shook herself and approached the fitting rooms. "Come show me."

After a moment, Orihime stepped out of the room and Rangiku's eyes lit up. The girl looked stunning! The navy dress was full length and with spaghetti straps that showed off her smooth shoulders and arms. Her figure was complimented in the best ways, and Rangiku was certain Ichigo would have to do a double take when he spotted her at the party.

"That's the one," Rangiku whistled. "You're buying it."

She wasn't taking no for an answer, but Orihime didn't argue either. She loved the dress too it seemed, and with an excited squeal she returned to the dressing room to change back into her clothes.

"Take some pictures!" Rangiku called out to her. "The girls will want to see what you're wearing."

"Okay!"

Rangiku turned around and returned to the dresses she was looking at before she found Orihime's. She flipped through them and sighed, not liking anything. There was a strong part of her that wanted to wear something over-the-top sexy, just to get Toshiro's attention. She wanted to make him stare at her and no one else; she wanted to feel him ripping it off her.

Oh her head was such a mess.

Sighing again, Rangiku moved away from that rack and walked around the store to other areas. She found a sharp suit on a mannequin and stopped to look at it. It was ebony black and fierce, and she found herself drawn to it, imagining it on someone in particular.

She snapped a photo of it and sent it off to the person in question.

Rangiku
Do you need an outfit for the party? This one will suit you.

Toshiro was quick to reply, and she could hear the sarcasm through the text.

Toshiro
That was a horrific pun, Matsumoto. I know you're better than that. I do need a suit however. How much is it?

Rangiku
Free if you compliment by amazing sense of humour. Dad sent me a new card and told me to take myself shopping with it as a gift for finishing exams. If I don't spend it on this suit, I'll just buy more shoes.

It was one of those pre-loaded cards, kind of like a gift card, but he had put two hundred euros on it and that converted quite nicely into her currency.

Toshiro
Oh 'suit' me? Now I get it, that's hysterical hahaha. Very witty, Matsumoto.

Rangiku
That's more like it. What size are you now?

Toshiro
I don't know. Just guess?

Rangiku rolled her eyes. What kind of friend of hers didn't know their suit size? Even Renji had when she asked him earlier. It was like Toshiro didn't even care about fashion.

She guessed his sizes, pulling the trousers and jacket from the rack. Rangiku generally had a pretty good eye for people's measurements, but even if she got it a little wrong, she was an excellent seamstress and could fix it up in no time.

She found him a skinny black tie to match and a silver clip to hold it in place. If she remembered correctly, he already had some nice dress shoes that likely would still fit (unlike his prom suit which was certain to be too small now that he'd grown that extra inch and bulked out a little).

When Orihime returned from the fitting room, Rangiku gave her all Toshiro's suit pieces and told her to take them and the navy dress to the counter for holding. The staff was already holding Renji's suit that Rangiku picked out earlier (she had found him a lovely black one with a deep red lining that would match his hair. Even Byakuya was going to be impressed with it at dinner their tonight).

Orihime walked off with the clothes, humming happily, and Rangiku turned back to the dress section with a huff. She wanted to find her dress here too, partially because the store had a lot of nice stuff, and also because she was getting tired now.

Things were bad when shopping couldn't fix her stress levels.

Orihime returned and chatted to her as Rangiku continued to search through all the dresses, but she was only half listening now as her mind wandered again, now blatantly judging dresses by what she thought Toshiro would think.

'Why not pink, Matsumoto?' she could hear his bored drawl in her mind. 'That's your favourite colour.'

'Because pink is typical of me,' she murmured back through thoughts. 'I want you to be stunned. I want you to want me.'

Rangiku froze, stalled by that last thought. A memory suddenly came flooding back.

"Do y-you want me?"

"I want you," Toshiro whispered in her ear. "I want you so bad, Rangiku."

That had been in the ocean under the moonlight, half a mile from Rukia's brother's beach house. It had been two months ago, but it was as relevant now as it was then.

Rangiku's whole body felt like it had stopped when he told her that, and though that might have been largely due to the orgasm she had been experiencing, Rangiku remembered clinging to him, silently begging for it to mean more than something sexual.

She wanted him to want her, and she still did.

"How do you know you like Ichigo?" Rangiku asked then, glancing back at Orihime.

She must have cut Orihime off on whatever she had been talking about because the girl seemed a little taken aback at first. Her eyes softened quickly though, perhaps as her mind went to Ichigo.

"He has such a big heart," Orihime started. "He cares for every-"

"No," Rangiku shook her head, interrupting again. Her heart was beating a million times a minute. "Not why you like him, but how. How do you know you feel that way?"

"Oh," Orihime straightened. "Well that's easy. I feel so drawn to him, I think about him all the time. When he smiles I just melt, and the idea of seeing him hurt actually makes me feel sick."

"That's it?" Rangiku raised an eyebrow. She was expecting a profound, enlightening answer, but what Orihime gave her was… well, ordinary. Rangiku had pretty much always felt that way about Toshiro.

But Orihime shrugged, unconcerned.

"There's no real complicated answer," she murmured. "When I'm with him, I'm more myself than with anyone else. I don't want to ever live my life without him."

Rangiku stared as she processed that.

Maybe it was that simple. Maybe it was her trying to overthink things and twist these thoughts. When she stripped everything back and thought simply about Orihime's words, Toshiro was bright in her mind.

She wanted him, and she wanted him to want her.

That was it, and it was so simple.

Rangiku turned back to the dresses, ignoring Orihime's question of why she was interested when a bit of teal caught her eye. Familiar eyes flashed in her mind as she reached in and pulled it out, her lips parting with a small gasp.

This was the dress.

...

Okay if you haven't read 'Dress' by now, you have to before the next chapter! Go to my profile to find it :)

The next chapter is will be set just after 'Dress' but from Toshiro's POV and we'll get different flashbacks of some important moments for him.