By now it is assumed you have read 'Dress'! If you haven't you might want to, as this chapter will probably feel like a bit of a skip.
…
Suit (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
Her mouth was on his, and their lips crushed against each other as they fell into the back of the Uber. Their bodies, wrapped in their expensive formalwear, moulded together against the cold leather seats but their blood ran hot. His fingers slipped into her soft hair, holding her closer to him. She groaned, opening her lips and allowing him to slip his tongue inside. She tasted as she always did – that fresh floral, zesty citrus flavour – but this was not how they always kissed.
This was not how best friends could kiss.
I, I loved you in secret
Toshiro's blood was pounding in his ears, his chest constricting as he waited for her to continue. Rangiku was ending their friendship. It was his worst fear that he'd lose her forever.
"I just-" Rangiku swallowed, looking away from him again. She looked guilty and all Toshiro could do was stare without breathing. "I realised I don't just love you, but that I'm in love with you. I know that sounds cliché and lame-"
He couldn't believe it, this was the end- Wait, what?
"You're in love with me?" Toshiro cut across her, the words spilling from his lips as they registered in his mind. Had he misheard? Had he daydreamed that wish coming true again?
Rangiku glanced back up at him, her brow dipped in slight confusion.
"I'm in love with you," she repeated slowly but Toshiro continued to stare. He needed someone to pinch him quickly, because this couldn't be real.
"But you're friend-breaking-up with me?" he asked, voice slightly tremored. She had just told him she didn't want him as her best friend anymore.
"I'm trying to tell you I want to date you," Rangiku clarified quickly, her expression realising the miscommunication. "I don't want you as a best friend anymore, I want you as a boyfriend. I'm in love with you, Nerd."
Oh.
First sight, yeah, we love without reason
Somehow they made it in the door, but it was clear they weren't going to make it much further as they slammed back into it, tongues and lips battling. It was hot and heavy as Toshiro's blood surged through him with adrenalin he'd never known before.
He was high off the night, off hearing those words from her lips.
She loved him, and he had finally admitted his own feelings after years of harbouring them. Weight he had carried for years was lifted off his shoulders.
They were together now, and they were in love. It felt so good.
"I need you," Rangiku whimpered when Toshiro's lips fell to her neck. Fuck, he loved her voice – always, but especially when it was breathless and hungry for him like that.
He groaned against her, growing stiff between his legs. It still didn't feel real and he prayed silently that this wasn't just a very vivid fantasy.
"Tell me again," he ordered in a breath, his hands sliding down her waist, over the dress that matched his eyes. He wanted to touch every part of her bare body tonight, but he loved this dress.
She had only bought it so he could take it off.
"I'm in love with you," Rangiku murmured. Toshiro's lips returned to hers at hearing those magic little words again. He felt her smile against him, his heart skipping in his chest.
If he was dreaming, he never wanted to wake up. He never wanted to go back to that dreadful old reality.
Oh, how were you to know, and
"Ichigo, wait!" Toshiro called after his dormmate as Ichigo stalked down the beach.
He ran after him, catching up despite Ichigo not slowing down. His friend, but his brother in many ways, was seething. He exuded fury, pain, jealously. It wasn't the nicest side of Ichigo, but he'd been hurt badly.
"Come on, let's sit for a second," Toshiro suggested. He was a fit guy but even he was starting to get a stitch from the pace Ichigo had set. The beach house was long gone from sight and no one else had come after them.
"Did you know?" Ichigo whipped around, eyes accusing. "About Rukia and Renji?"
"No," Toshiro sighed. He hadn't known, though he did start to suspect at the Spring Break party. Renji had seemed too concerned for Rukia, too in-the-know about what had upset her. Toshiro hadn't wanted to know the truth, because he didn't want to have to be the one to tell Ichigo, and he certainly didn't want to be the one lying to him about it.
"I can't believe this," Ichigo shook his head, taking a step back. "I made a fool of myself."
"You didn't-"
"You don't get it, Toshiro!" Ichigo snapped then and Toshiro resisted flinching back. "You have no idea how it feels to fall for a girl who doesn't want you."
Toshiro took a deep breath and held Ichigo's gaze, shooting him a pointed look.
"You know I do," he said calmly.
Ichigo knew all about Toshiro's feelings for Rangiku, feelings that were not, and would never be, reciprocated. Toshiro did get it.
Ichigo stared at him for a moment as he breathed, and eventually he nodded in understanding.
"I'm sorry," he murmured.
"It's okay."
Ichigo turned towards the ocean as Toshiro saw the glisten at the corner of those amber eyes. He grimaced as Ichigo released a shuddering breath. His jaw was set, his posture rigid, but after a moment he sat on the sand, shoulders sagging in defeat.
"I feel so stupid," Ichigo sniffed.
Toshiro swallowed and took a seat beside him on the sand. They stared out at the horizon for a while and Toshiro hoped the sound of the waves was calming Ichigo. The sun had set, leaving an indigo twilight hue in the sky, but it was rapidly turning dark.
"Did you know I had no hope with her?" Ichigo asked then, quieter as his eyes stayed locked on the sea.
"Yeah," Toshiro murmured. "But you did too. You just couldn't not fight for her."
It might have been a valiant effort, but it was a futile battle.
Ichigo inhaled, his eyes closing. Toshiro reached out and squeezed his friend's shoulder. He didn't like seeing Ichigo in pain like this, and it was such a familiar pain. Toshiro had spent too many days feeling the same, watching the woman he loved love someone else. Renji was Rukia's Gin Ichimaru, but Gin had never been Toshiro's friend and Rangiku had never covered up her feelings for him. Of course, she had no idea how Toshiro had really felt, but Ichigo's feelings had been out and in the open, for all to see.
"I don't know if I'm angry at them or at myself," Ichigo shook his head and Toshiro glanced back at him to see those amber eyes open again but downcast. "Why did we fall for girls who don't want us? Are we that unlovable?"
Toshiro sighed deeply. It was a harsh, yet honest, reminder. Rukia would never love Ichigo, just as Rangiku would never love him. It reminded him just how dangerous what he was doing with her was, and how it was only a matter of time before it was him stalking off and fighting tears, with Ichigo running after him and Rangiku back home in another man's arms.
The worst part was Rangiku would be hurt too, because she would have upset her best friend and not known she was doing it. That was unfair to her, as Rukia pointed out to him.
Toshiro stared at the sea, feeling his own emotions well up. He'd made a decision, and he was going to do the right thing.
He was going to end their sexual relationship. It was going to suck, but if it hurt less than the alternative, then it was worth it.
"Maybe we are," Toshiro murmured, feeling his heart break cleanly in half. He was unlovable.
My, my love had been frozen
The memory of that decision on the beach was long gone, and it was certainly not relevant as Toshiro pushed his fingers further inside Rangiku, his knees weakening at the sound of her moan.
They had come so far – grown so much.
Toshiro had missed this. He'd missed her, that last couple months being truly awful though he was adamant he'd been doing the right thing by both of them.
He had loved her for so long, and she had completely ignorant to it. For years and years, but that was all worth it to end up where they were now.
"Toshiro," she gasped his name as he bit her shoulder. "Please… n-now."
Toshiro grunted, almost like an animal. She wanted him, and he was about to take her – properly, as two people who were in love, not just messing about. He was so desperate for that.
It wasn't going to be slow and sensual this time though – but they'd get to that later. They had all the time in the world. In this moment right now, they just wanted to feel each other.
Withdrawing his fingers, he gripped her hips and hoisted her up against the door. Rangiku pulled her dress up and wrapped her legs around him as Toshiro held her steady with one arm, the other hand working his belt and trousers open and pulling his cock free with the minimal space.
He slid inside her quickly as they both groaned in relief of their physical reunion.
Mostly still dressed, up against the dorm door, but it was magic.
"I love you," Toshiro whispered to her and Rangiku's lips crushed against him. For a moment, the world stood still. His heart beat with hers and it was just the two of them.
"Move," she demanded, separating only long enough to get the word out, and Toshiro did as he was told.
As it turned out, Rangiku hadn't been the only ignorant one, as Toshiro found out tonight. He had never believed it could happen, but she had developed feelings for him; she'd fallen in love with him and he'd had no idea. He had thought she had only wanted him for sex – and friendship of course – but nothing else.
How wrong he had been about that.
How wrong everyone had been about that.
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
"You idiot!"
Toshiro staggered back as a small but powerful fist slammed into his right arm. How he managed to keep hold of his coffee he didn't know, but his books and laptop fell out of his arms, clattering on the lecture hall stairs.
"Fuck," he gasped, eyes wide as the pain shot up the length of his arm. He hadn't expected that when he walked into his morning class that day. In fact, his mind had still been with the woman he'd left in bed, his mark on her breast, his initials carved into her bedpost.
"You fucking idiot," Rukia, the puncher, hissed. Her violet eyes were fiery as she knelt on her lecture chair and glared at him.
"I'm sure you're right but why?" Toshiro winced, collapsing into the chair next to her and clutching his arm. "And did I really deserve to be punched for it?"
"You're fucking the girl you love," Rukia whispered, though much of the lecture hall was empty after last night's party, her tone explicitly harsh, "when you know she doesn't feel the same for you."
Toshiro groaned. He hadn't even had his coffee yet and yet the stabs of romantic pain and guilt were being dished out. "What are you talking about?"
He very likely knew what Rukia was talking about and there was no denying it, depending on what information she had.
"Rangiku told me you two have been having sex," Rukia answered as Toshiro pursed his lips. A heads up might have been nice, Matsumoto.
He sighed and reached down to pick up his books and laptop and pull them onto the small table attached to his lecture chair. He didn't know what to say to Rukia, and quite frankly didn't care for her opinion on the matter. He knew the risks he was taking, and he'd thought long and hard about it.
Yes, he'll probably definitely get hurt. But if he had turned down Rangiku's suggestion that they have sex as friends just for fun, he'd always live in regret of not knowing what that was like, and how it might have shaped their relationship.
Hurt faded, regret didn't.
And of course, there was the slight hope he'd held onto, that maybe she'd fall for him eventually. But last night she had made it completely clear that it wouldn't happen, and while that had painful for him, it was his own fault for getting drunk and carried away when he'd heard of her pregnancy scare.
"Mind your business, Kuchiki," Toshiro sighed.
"You know I won't," Rukia clicked her tongue. "You're my friend and I know you have feelings for her-"
"You don't know that, you think that."
"Because Kiyone told me."
"Kiyone doesn't know me very well," Toshiro pointed out. "She opted out of getting to know me, if you remember."
"Yeah, she didn't want to be with someone who loves someone else."
Toshiro threw Rukia a dirty look for that.
He had liked Kiyone. He really had and he could have seen that working out. Yeah he was still in love with Rangiku, but those feelings were easily suppressed and he was going to have to get over them eventually.
Kiyone had been cool, and there was every chance he would have fallen for her too. He would have been able to move on from Rangiku and they could have been very happy together.
Of course he didn't blame Kiyone for her decision, and she hadn't been wrong, but it sucked for him. Toshiro had only wanted to find happiness with someone who could love him back.
"I didn't mean to hurt Kiyone," he told Rukia seriously. "I really liked her."
Rukia hummed in agreement. "But you love Rangiku."
Toshiro sighed and looked away. He opened his laptop and turned it on, trying to figure out what to say. He wished the lecturer would be on time for once.
"Yeah I do," Toshiro admitted then, quietly because he almost didn't want Rukia to hear despite the fact he was talking to her. "And I know she doesn't love me back but I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions. We're having sex and it's casual but I like it. And she likes it. If I get hurt, I get hurt, I don't care."
Oh he cared, and Rukia knew it too as she sent him a disbelieving glance, but he still believed the regret would be far worse.
"I just don't want to see it," Rukia murmured. "Believe it or not, I really care about you, and I don't like that she's using you and has no idea what she's doing to you. If Rangiku knew that, she wouldn't be sleeping with you."
Toshiro didn't reply to that, his brow dipping with thoughts. Was that true?
It would have been, because Rangiku would never hurt him. It made him question everything, like whether it was ethical of him to continue with Rangiku, if she didn't truly know the extent of what was happening.
It probably wasn't.
Oh, and you held me close
The door rattled behind Rangiku as Toshiro continued thrusting inside her. He sincerely hoped no one was wandering the hallways tonight, but his care factor was significantly reduced by the sharp jolts of pleasure shooting through his body.
Rangiku's hands were gripping his biceps, her legs wrapped around his hips. The sounds she was making were incredible, her voice sent shivers up his spine with every wanton moan.
Toshiro held her thighs and continued slamming into her, his own grunts loud. He wasn't a vocal lover usually, but tonight it was impossible to stay quiet.
It was rough, wild – borderline animalistic as they fucked, so desperate to feel each other again.
It was dark in the dorm, but Toshiro was pretty sure Rangiku's thong still hung off her ankle, his own shirt still half buttoned. He'd never imagined he could want someone as desperately as he wanted Rangiku Matsumoto.
His release was edging nearer, and he wasn't going to be able to hold it much longer.
He risked his hold on her to reach for her clit and she gasped at the touch, her head falling back against the door with a thud almost louder than that of her back and ass hitting it with every thrust Toshiro made.
In a moment of clarity, she grabbed Toshiro's tie and yanked him closer. Toshiro groaned as she bit his ear and then whispered.
"Finish inside me, I want to feel it."
"C-condom," Toshiro reminded her with a gasp, though it was probably too late for that with how much pre-cum he must have been leaking inside her.
"Morning a-after pill," Rangiku panted. "I-ah! I just need to f-feel you tonight."
Well Toshiro was far too gone to disagree, so he picked up the pace and the strength, his thumb finding Rangiku's clit and rubbing it in time.
It got louder, the sound of skin slapping against skin, of bodies slamming into a wooden door, of moans growing more and more desperate. Rangiku had Toshiro's hair in her fist and she pulled it so his head tilted to kiss her, and Toshiro got to taste his name as she moaned it into him on her climax.
He released inside her, unable to comprehend how he'd managed to get the girl that had always been out of reach.
Oh, how was I to know that
"He's your boyfriend?" Grimmjow's eyes flickered between them and they were unkind. "Him?"
Toshiro kept his arm around Rangiku's waist and his eyes steady, refusing to let the man's doubt hurt him. He'd heard it before. He was short and weird-looking, people rarely let him forget it.
Rangiku, on the other hand, preferred to challenge Grimmjow. "Yeah? What's the problem?"
"Leave it, Matsumoto," Toshiro warned her, trying to pull her away but she held her ground.
"I just thought you'd have a taller-uh, a higher standard," Grimmjow sighed, sounding somewhere between genuinely disappointed and entertained by his own joke, before he walked away.
"A higher standard?" Rangiku repeated with a frown. "What does that mean?"
"Don't worry about it," Toshiro muttered and when her eyes fell on him he looked away. They both knew what Grimmjow had meant.
Every time Toshiro thought he'd grown above those stupid comments kids made about his appearance, something like this knocked him down just as easily as it did when he was a child. Grimmjow's opinion meant nothing to Toshiro, but the words stung because they were true and they were probably part of the reason Rangiku never looked twice at him.
After all, how was a stunning, leggy blonde going to fall for a skinny, white-haired short-shit.
"Ignore him. You'd be a great boyfriend," Rangiku told him in an obvious attempt to make him feel better. Toshiro hummed, only to divert the conversation.
"I am a great fake boyfriend at least."
That made Rangiku smile and it was enough for Toshiro.
Still, he could tell she was feeling uncomfortable after the run in with Grimmjow, and when she said she wanted to go, Toshiro walked her out of the Pink Kimono and back to the dorms.
It was quiet as they walked, though Toshiro's thoughts were loud.
He hated that reminder that he'd never be good enough for Rangiku. Well, he didn't think any man was good enough for her, but he was still bottom of the list.
In his wildest dreams, they were together, but even in those dreams people laughed at them.
Without thinking, Toshiro caught Rangiku's hand. He only noticed he'd done it when she squeezed it back.
"Any girl would be lucky to have you," she told Toshiro softly, her beautiful blue eyes encouraging.
Toshiro swallowed and whispered, "Not 'any girl', Matsumoto."
You're not 'any girl', Rangiku.
But we were dancing
They were in the bedroom now, illuminated only by the dull golden glow of his bedside lamp, their movements much slower and calmer than before.
Toshiro turned Rangiku around gently, before he reached for the zipper at the back of her dress and carefully slid it down.
Her smooth, tanned skin was exposed to him and he pressed his lips to her shoulder. The dress fell away, pooling at her feet. Rangiku hummed, her hands sliding along his forearms as they wrapped around her bare front.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured. How was it possible for someone to have skin so smooth?
"You always meant that, didn't you?" Rangiku asked softly, her head tilting to the side to allow Toshiro to continue to kiss her shoulder and neck. "Every time you said it?"
Toshiro answered by catching her chin in his hand and turning her lips to meet his. He'd always meant it.
Rangiku pulled away then and she turned in his arms. Blue eyes were soft and full of care as she started to undress him too. Toshiro loosened his hold on her as she worked his tie off, then the half buttoned dress shirt.
"I can't believe you've loved me all this time," Rangiku murmured, a quiet chuckle falling from her lips as she smiled and Toshiro couldn't help but grin back.
"Why wouldn't I?" Toshiro returned in a whisper. "You broke down all my barriers and dragged your Gucci suitcase into my heart."
Rangiku snorted and Toshiro's heart skipped. He loved it when he made her laugh.
"That's the cheesiest thing you've ever said," she smirked at him as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms.
The shirt fell away and she closed the gap between them, pressing her chest against his. Skin on skin, Toshiro held her close, revelling in feeling her hands exploring his back.
"Nevertheless," he whispered in her ear, "it's true. It's always been you."
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
"I want to kiss you."
"Imagine me kissing you. K-kissing your lips, my tongue in your m-mouth."
Toshiro stared, his body on fire as Rangiku rode him. Somehow, in an instant, she had taken all the pain away.
He forgot about his eye, his wrist, his bruises. He forgot about his busted lip and he just wanted to kiss her so badly. He didn't care how much it stung, he wanted to kiss this woman.
"Say my name. Say it as you come," Rangiku demanded and Toshiro's eyes, though they hadn't strayed, locked tighter onto her.
She wanted him to say her name? Fuck, he would have said her name a thousand times if he knew she liked it.
He always wanted to say it. 'Rangiku'. The woman he loved, the woman he so desperately tried to separate from his best friend 'Matsumoto'.
He'd held back saying her name during sex, he had been worried about creeping her out. He'd been worried about giving away his secrets.
Swallowing another pant, Toshiro stared deeply into Rangiku's eyes. That beautiful steely blue. That blue that calmed him even at his most panicked. That blue that made his heart beat a million times a minute. That blue that held familiar love for him.
That blue that held love-
"Rangiku," Toshiro whispered, choking quietly.
They climaxed together, their eyes locked, and it was the single most intimate thing Toshiro had ever done with another person.
It was a high he wasn't sure he'd ever come down from. It was certainly one he never wanted to come down from.
He and Rangiku, their bodies bare to each other and united, their eyes locked as pleasure washed over them. He wanted to stay like this forever.
I'd kiss you as the lights went out
"I guess that was why you hated Gin so much," Rangiku's voice murmured above and Toshiro hummed, though that man's name was not exactly the one he wanted to hear while his face was buried between her breasts.
They were on his bed now, completely bare to each other. Toshiro hovered over her but he'd since settled at her chest. He had started at her lips and was moving down her body, mapping every part of her with his lips and tongue. Her fingers were tangled in his hair, combing gently. Even now she calmed him without knowing it.
"You were more encouraging when I wanted to date Shuuhei though?" Rangiku suggested then, in a sort of questioning way.
"Almost killed me," Toshiro murmured into her skin, "but I wanted you to be happy."
He matured since Gin, and Shuuhei was a better option – if it couldn't be Toshiro.
"Of course you did," Rangiku hummed, her tone suggesting a smile on her lips and when Toshiro glanced up, indeed a smile greeted him.
Toshiro sent her a small grin back before pressing another kiss to her sternum and slid down a bit more.
He was tracing her left hip when the next question came.
"What about Karin?" Rangiku asked quietly. "Hiyori? Kiyone? …Nel? How did you feel about them?"
That was not nice, hearing those names again. People he'd been with, when he had wanted to be with someone else.
Karin was fine – they were still great friends, and she had wanted to be with someone else just as much as he did. They had been kids, and he had liked her a lot, loved her even, though it was more of a sibling kind of love he held for her. They'd fun together, and neither regretted it.
Hiyori was nothing but a learning experience. She'd hated him anyway, but that seemed to fuel something in her and Toshiro had been along for the ride. It was educational, to say the least.
"Educational?" Rangiku echoed when he explained it to her. Toshiro threw her a look as his hand slipped between them; he squeezed her clit and watched her lips part with a realising 'oh'.
"I learned about the female body," Toshiro murmured, resuming his kissing of the right hip now. "Of what works and what doesn't. I discovered what I like too, and what I don't."
"Such as?"
Toshiro glanced up again, finding those beautiful blue eyes gazing curiously at him. He had lot of likes actually, many he was sure Rangiku knew by now; a vocal partner, his hair being tugged, his name being moaned, collarbone kisses… his dislikes list was a lot smaller, but there was one he wouldn't negotiate on. It hadn't come up with Rangiku yet, but it had with Hiyori.
"I don't want to be choked," he swallowed.
It came quickly, the words spilling nervously from him. He didn't like that at all. It was too triggering-
"I don't like that either," Rangiku replied and her eyes were understanding. Her fingers splayed in his hair and instantly he calmed again. Toshiro's eyes closed and he tilted his head to kiss her wrist, grateful for her.
He returned to her hips and slid down further again, continuing his story.
Nel was a mistake – a big one. He'd been so drunk, and he'd been dumb enough to think that with the lights off, he could pretend it was Rangiku he was with. It horrible and stupid, and when he said the wrong name, he paid for it. Nel was nicer to him than he deserved though, and she talked to him about it. He had drunkenly cried on her shoulder that night and she had still let him stay in her room – and she had never told Rangiku the truth.
"That little witch," Rangiku chuckled. "She told you were the best she'd ever had. She told me I should have sex with you one day just to try it."
Toshiro pursed his lips that but he couldn't stop a small grin from stretching across his lips. Nel had obviously talked him up to Rangiku. She had been really cool.
Finally Toshiro made it between Rangiku's legs and he settled there, dipping his head low to taste her again. The hand in his hair tightened as he heard her breathless groan above.
He still had to tell her about Kiyone, but he wanted to taste her next orgasm first.
Swaying as the room burned down
"Hey," Toshiro blinked in surprise, finding Kiyone at the other side of his door. "I thought I was picking you up at six?"
"Yeah," Kiyone answered, her tone off. "I just wanted to talk to you first."
Uh oh.
Nodding, Toshiro stepped aside and let her into his dorm room. He'd been studying all day so he looked like shit, but he doubted even a cleaned up appearance was going to save him. He knew that tone, it was the one Karin had used when she broke up with him.
"Can I get you a drink?" he asked her anyway as she took a seat on the couch.
"No, I'm fine, thank you."
Not planning to stay long then, another bad sign.
Toshiro bit his lip and joined her on the other end of couch. He watched her fiddle with her hands, patiently waiting for her to begin.
"So," she drawled, taking a big breath. "I think we should just be friends."
"Is this because of the other night?" Toshiro winced. "I know I said I wasn't ready but-"
"It's because of Rangiku," Kiyone cut off him quickly. "I can tell how you feel about her."
Toshiro's mouth went dry and he stared at her. His heart was pounding in his chest, and it was probably a bad thing that he wished his best friend was there in that moment to rub his back and calm him down.
"She's my friend," he managed eventually. "My best friend."
Kiyone hummed doubtfully and that led Toshiro to try and explain further, to justify his actions.
"I mean, she was crying, you know? I couldn't leave her. I would have done the same for Ichigo or Rukia or…. We have this 'mates before dates' policy and-"
"It's the way you look at her," Kiyone interrupted again. "It's in your eyes and it's not the same as with your other friends. I become completely invisible to you."
Toshiro swallowed his words, unsure what to say next. He didn't like this feeling. Yes, he had feelings for Rangiku and he'd had them for a long time, but it was clear it was never going to happen for them so he was trying to move on. Why wasn't he allowed to move on? How was he supposed to if the universe never gave him the chance.
"I'm sorry-"
"I'm not mad," Kiyone told him, and her eyes were kind. "You're a good guy, Toshiro, but I'm not going to waste my time here. We're not meant to be more than friends."
With that she stood, leaving Toshiro staring at her vacated spot on the couch, feeling that familiar awful flip of his stomach.
He heard the door open and then Kiyone sighed.
"You should tell Rangiku how you feel," she told him. "You might be surprised."
Then the door closed, and Toshiro was alone again.
I'd hold you as the water rushes in
"I knew it was me," Rangiku whispered but Toshiro shook his head.
"No, it was me," he told her, like he had the first time she asked. "I was the one with the feelings for you."
They were under the covers now and they lay facing each other, completely spent. Behind the curtains, the sun was starting to come up. It was so late, it was early. It had been worth it though, for the time Toshiro got to spend loving Rangiku's body the way he had always dreamed of. Rangiku had been just as eager to explore him too, and the second round of sex had been a much slower, romantic process. It had been long, deliberate movements, and loving, gentle touches. It had been emotional and honest, they'd talked through it. The orgasms at the end had been no less powerful however, and their eyes had held each other through it.
"I wish you had told me earlier," Rangiku murmured then, and her hand reached up to cup Toshiro's cheek. "I hadn't thought about it but I think I've loved you longer than I realised."
"I'm not sorry," Toshiro whispered as his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into her touch. "You were worth the wait. I still think I'm dreaming."
And what a wonderful dream it would be.
"You're not, this is real," Rangiku returned quietly. "I'm here, we're both here together."
Toshiro hummed, feeling his warm body growing heavier by the minute. He was falling asleep, but he wanted to fight it. He wanted to stay in the moment, remembering it forever.
"I have one more question for tonight," Rangiku murmured, and Toshiro hummed again to acknowledge her, though he was slipping away. "You loved me for a long time. When did you know for sure?"
"Oh," Toshiro smiled widely, though his eyelids were too heavy to lift. "That's easy."
If I could dance with you again
"Yamamoto is so old. I mean, I really don't think he gets what it's like to be a teenager in this century. He hasn't been one since the dinosaurs-"
Toshiro nodded understandingly as Rangiku ranted. They were walking home from the bus stop and she had been complaining for the entire journey about their ancient 9th grade maths teacher who had called her lazy for not doing her homework (again). Toshiro didn't mind though, he liked to listen to Rangiku's voice, whatever she was talking about.
He liked to watch her talk too, so he snuck glances as they walked side by side. Even when complaining she was beautiful. She was his best friend (self-appointed), the girl that had befriended him on the first day of school when no one else would, but he still wished she could be more than that.
His crush on her was powerful, and seemingly growing by the day. He didn't know much about being in love, but he was starting to think that's what he was.
"Detention?!" Rangiku exclaimed loudly, snapping Toshiro back to her. "On Friday afternoon? He's got to be joking!"
"He said you could get out of it if you do all of this week's homework by tomorrow's class," Toshiro pointed out quietly, his hands slipping into the pockets of his jacket.
It was getting cold again but the real reason he tucked his hands away was so he didn't try to hold hers.
Rangiku groaned dramatically.
"How?" she huffed. "It's seven chapters of work and I don't even know how to math!"
"I'll help you," Toshiro shrugged.
Rangiku stopped in her tracks, grabbing his wrist as she turned to him with a terrible pouting lip and shining eyes.
"You'll help me?" she asked, expression and tone hopeful. He could deny that face nothing.
Toshiro did his best not to blush or seem otherwise not casual. He shrugged again.
"Sure. What are friends who understand maths for, right?"
Rangiku's grin was wide as she giggled. "You're the best, Toshiro!"
Toshiro hummed and continued to walk. The best at maths maybe, but probably never the best boyfriend.
They walked on, towards Rangiku's house, as she resumed her complaining about Yamamoto. Toshiro listened in silence as he often did, just happy to be spending the afternoon with her.
They were at the top of her street when she gasped and grabbed his wrist again. He turned to her in alarm but her face had lit up in excitement.
"I totally forgot," she told him, her eyes wide and intense. "I have something for you!"
"You-" Toshiro blinked in surprise and cleared his throat. "You have something for me?"
"Yes!" Rangiku grinned as she slipped her bag off one shoulder so she could reach into the pockets. She pulled out an envelope and handed it to him. "Open it!"
Brow furrowing, Toshiro took the envelope from her hand and stared at it. He could already tell it was a card, but the occasion was lost on him. Still, he felt Rangiku's eyes on him so he flipped the envelope over and opened it.
There was indeed a card inside and when he flipped it over, the words 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' greeted him in big green bubble letters.
"It's November," Toshiro pointed out with a small frown. He knew Rangiku knew when his birthday was – she had marked it in her homework diary and drew a big blue heart around it.
"I know," Rangiku grinned widely at him, "but since I'm going to be visiting my dad for Christmas this year, I'll miss your birthday."
"Right..." Toshiro agreed with drawl, knowing this. It wasn't a big deal to him, but the fact that missing his birthday upset her was... well, it was kind of cute.
"So I thought we could do it early," Rangiku smiled softly. "It's the twentieth of November on Saturday. I thought maybe we could pretend it was December and celebrate it together."
Toshiro felt his lips twitch, wanting to smile at her gesture.
"Then why are you giving me the card today?" he asked her.
"Open it and see."
Toshiro's eyes dropped back to the card. He opened it up, and aside from the lengthy, slanted scroll of Rangiku's birthday message, he noticed two bits of paper; they almost fell out when he opened it but he caught them quickly. They were tickets – tickets for the medical exhibition at Karakura's Science Museum.
For a long time, Toshiro just stared at them, his breath hitched.
"We can get the train up," Rangiku started. "There's one that will get us in by ten-"
"I've wanted to go to this exhibit since it opened," Toshiro blurted out, accidentally cutting her off.
He had never been to the science museum but he had always wanted to go, even before the medical exhibit had opened earlier in the year. The museum itself was free to enter but the special exhibitions were usually ticketed and often expensive, not to mention it was a couple hours on the train each way. He had given up on the idea and figured he'd try when he was older.
"I know, Nerd," Rangiku rolled her eyes playfully. "That's why I thought it would be nice to go together for your early birthday."
"You thought of that?" Toshiro glanced up at her again to find her smiling at him still. "I don't remember mentioning it."
"You did once," Rangiku informed him. "In class, when Yammy was moaning about it."
Toshiro frowned slightly and glanced back down at the tickets. He remembered now; Yammy, another student in their class and resident bully, had been whining to his friends that his parents had 'wasted' his weekend by dragging him there for an educational day out. Toshiro had muttered under his breath that he would have loved to have gone. He hadn't thought Rangiku was listening. He certainly didn't think she would have kept it in her mind when thinking of a gift idea for him months later.
But she did. Rangiku always remembered, and she always thought of him.
Yeah, he was totally in love with her.
Yeah, we were dancing
Rangiku smiled softly at the man lying beside her. Toshiro had fallen asleep, his story trailing off towards the end.
He had quite literally loved her since they were teenagers, and crushed on her from the moment they met.
It was crazy to her now that she hadn't seen it. It was crazier that she hadn't fallen for him so instantaneously too.
Sometimes the right person is the one you know all along.
Such a simple, small moment and Toshiro had known. What had seemed like a relatively insignificant moment in their history had seemingly cemented his feelings forever.
Rangiku cupped his jaw, her thumb stroking his cheek gently. He didn't stir and Rangiku simply gazed at him. He was such a beautiful, beautiful man.
Light was peeking through the curtains now, rending the bedside lamp useless. The sun had risen, yet it was only now they were going to sleep.
Leaning forward, Rangiku pressed a light kiss to Toshiro's lips. She pulled back and smiled softly at him again, unable to stop her happiness, before she reached over to turn off the small lamp. She tucked herself into his arms and closed her own eyes.
She was so lucky to be in love with her best friend.
Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied
…
1 chapter to go!