Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

OK...so this chappie..may be a little boring..its about Sasuke's past i guess..and a little fluff at the end...and its back to its rated T - ness...lol..yeah..

hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10: Open Up

Talking. I have never been really good with that. I always preferred to keep things to myself so that I could think them over, silently brooding over whatever melancholic thought I had. It was part of my half mysterious half melodramatic persona. What most people don't understand is that it's hard for me to open up. Sharing your problems with someone else is weak and weakness, as most people know, is one of my greatest pet peeves. When I talked to Sakura, it wasn't for the sake of me relieving myself of my problems by way of talking to her; it was respecting her enough to realize I could trust her with my thoughts. That's what it felt to me and it's what allowed me to overcome the struggles I've had with this so-called 'opening up.' It was that and the fact that I knew that Sakura would never think of me as weak just like I would no longer think of her as weak.

Flashback (1 months after the last flashback)

The harsh light of the morning sun that poured through the crack where my curtains failed to meet was what woke me up. Annoying. I was having the greatest dream and the greatest sleep. When my mind started to clear from the early morning fog, I realized that there was something soft and warm in front of me and in my arms. I opened my eyes and looked down. The breathtaking image of soft pink hair and perfectly smooth skin made me smile. In the last month Sakura had basically moved in, she still had her house but she spent every night here with me. And after that first time a month ago, I guess you could say we've found each other too hard to resist. It was suffice to say that I was a happy man …and I don't think she's complaining either.

I smirked remembering last night and instinctively pulled her closer against me until our bodies were flush against each other. I buried my face into her hair and against the place where her neck met her shoulder.

She moaned a little and she seemed as annoyed as I was that she was being woken up. I smirked again and then kissed her neck lightly while my hand traced patterns against her stomach.

She squirmed and giggled. I stopped when she was fully awake and let her breathing come back down to normal again.

"Mmm, 'morning," she said as she turned her head towards me as if asking me to kiss her.

I laughed at her laziness and bent my head down to capture her lips softly.

"Morning" I said after pulling away

I tightened my hold on her again, letting her know that she wasn't allowed to get up anytime soon.

We fell into a peaceful silence and it almost seemed like we could fall right back to sleep. I watched her face and again I smiled. She had a small smile on her face and a far away look as if she was thinking about something. While watching her, I fell into my own thoughts. It was times like these that I was amazed that she was here with me.

I don't know what caused it but I began to think about the time when I left her, about 7 years ago. I guess it was because I felt a pang in my heart again of how lucky I was to have her. I thought of my goals and plan for my life back then, and realized that I was being the naïve one to think that my problems would be solved if I could just be stronger. I thought about all that I had seen and done while at Sound. In waves, all the guilt that I hadn't experienced in months came flooding back.

I realized that everything I have been experiencing with her, and the happiness just masked the guilt that was still there. I wanted desperately to be purged of it. I wanted her to understand why I left. Suddenly, I just wanted to tell her everything and I realized she never asked me to explain anything yet. I was grateful for her understanding but now I wanted her to know.

"I didn't do it to betray you or anyone else." I blurted out softly.

"What?"

"I mean, back then when I ..when I left. I didn't do it just to betray you."

"Sasuke….what's wrong?"

I know I must have sounded crazy. Just a moment ago we were laughing and smiling and now I was bringing up the painful topic of my departure. But it suddenly became unbearable to hold back and I just wanted to take this weight, which I didn't realize was there until now, off my shoulders. Once in a while, the fear of losing her would prompt me to say things that I would otherwise not. That and I felt like she deserved to know. I knew far more about her past and her life than she knew about mine and it was incredibly unfair to her.

"I looked up to him you know, my brother."

Neither of us spoke for a while.

I took a deep breath, "I was the youngest in my family and I was always under the protection of my mother. My brother on the other hand, got to train with my father. And my father loved Itachi because he saw the future of the Uchiha clan in him. I always thought that Itachi would some day teach me everything he knew. He wasn't a particularly mean brother, but I was pretty young before he started to pull away from the family so I can't really remember what he was like. We all thought he would be the one to bring the Uchiha clan to an even greater status, he was that good.

"And your parents?" She asked softly.

"My mom was the heart of our family. She made up for any cold-heartedness that existed and when I look back now, I could tell that she tried hard for me to be like that too. She loved my father with all her heart but she didn't want me to have to work so hard to be able to talk to people. She tried to protect from that Uchiha characteristic. In the end, it didn't work out like that."

By this time she turned around to face me. She took my hand in her smaller one and squeezed it reassuringly.

In a way, I was afraid that she would realize how scary the Uchiha family was and maybe she wouldn't want to be a part of that but I knew I had to let her know.

"My dad was a bit of a hard ass but I still strived to get his attention. I wanted my father to see me as worthy of the Uchiha name. I don't remember ever having a real conversation with him where we weren't discussing my future as a clan member but when he….when I saw his …him dead, I never remember ever feeling so much pain."

"I'm sure you know this, but I want to tell you this myself. My entire family was murdered.. massacred by my brother. At the time, I was incredibly confused to come home from school to find everyone… dead. I was even relieved to see that I wasn't alone and that I had my brother. But then I saw him holding a bloody kunai and I didn't know what to say. He in turn, told me not to be weak about it. He said he wanted to test his strength and show our father that he was finally good enough. He left me there with the bodies of everyone in my family."

My body stiffened as I said these things; I would cry if I had any tears left in me, but I promised that I would never cry about this again. It was the first time I ever told anyone the details of what happened and it felt like I was reliving the entire thing. I never really forced myself to face the event like this and even after over a decade, it was still incredibly difficult. Sakura moved closer to me and gripped my hand tighter, and I was grateful for her silent understanding.

"I didn't start to hate my brother until I grew up and understood the true meaning of hate. I did idolize him up until then, and it was hard to get over the shock of having no one there. But then I did hate him and with more passion than I had for life itself. My hate for my brother took over my life and I wanted to avenge my family's massacre so badly that it became the only goal I had in my life. I would do anything to achieve it. I know it probably seems like a stupid reason now, but that's why I left. I thought Orochimaru could give me the strength I needed. I wasn't trying to hurt you in anyway…I was blinded."

"It's ok Sasuke. It was so long ago and it doesn't matter anymore."

"I want you to know that though. I'm not making excuses for myself because I know that its stupid but I want you to know."

"I do know."

"I love you." I said to her in all seriousness.

She smiled and leant up to kiss me. I kissed her back harder than she was expecting and she moaned lightly into my lips. I pulled her body up against mine again but this time her body was resting on top of mine. I pushed my tongue into her mouth revelling in the feeling of her soft body against mine and the ends of her soft hair tickling my face. I ran my hand up her spine and she shivered. It was a beautiful morning.

She pulled away, teasing me, "I love you too."

She started to untangle herself from my bed and me.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked and pulled her back to me, already missing the warmth of her body.

"Mmm, getting up."

"No" I breathed into her ear.

She giggled an alluring giggle and I started to nibble at her neck.

"Stop it!" She got out of bed, "I'm going to take a shower and then we need to restock your fridge."

I stared at her body barely even paying attention to what she was saying.

"Sasuke!" She shrieked and placed her hands on her hips angrily. "Are you listening to me?"

I smirked, "Yeah you said something about how you wanted me to join you in the shower." I said as I started getting out of bed.

"No! If you get in, we won't ever leave this room!"

"Exactly," I said still smirking with my arms crossed cockily in front.

I know that sometimes I can be an arrogant jerk and even though she acts like she can't stand it, she finds it completely irresistible.

"No, you're staying here while I take a shower." She said but as she turned around she walked seductively away leaving the bathroom door wide open.

I smirked..again. She wants me. I walked in after her and wrapped my arm around her waist bending down to her ear.

"Happy one year Anniversary"

End Flashback

After I told her about my past and my reasons for leaving, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't hold any more guilt and I felt like there was nothing else to think about except her. It was a new freedom that I had never known before. I knew that she had probably already known most of what I said but I needed to tell her myself to show that I really did trust her. She made it so easy for me to talk about myself, which I previously had no experience with. She made me want to tell her things just so I could see her reaction. It all sounds so stupid but unless you've loved someone that much, no one will ever understand what I mean. I loved her then and I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I didn't care that I was supposed to be an Uchiha and Uchiha's didn't have feelings like that according to my father. One year was a long time to be with someone but it didn't even seem that long to me. I wanted her forever. I want her forever.

hello again!

ok..so last chapter's lemon..lets discus..or at least let me talk about it...i don't know whether i like it or not..just because i felt like i had this whole plot line..and then a sex scene which changed the whole view of my story..or at least thats the way i saw it afterwards..i mean i have nothing against stories with sex..i think my next story will be like that..just cuz it might be fun...but i don't know if it was right for this story...oh well...i'll think about it some more..and maybe i'll take the chapter off and take the rating back down... ok..i just had to get that off my chest!

next up...wow!..the hits for this fic sky rocketed!..i'm really happy about that...i jsut really want my work to be read...and anything that tells me that people are enjoying it or want to look into it makes me really happy!

ok..and i was able to reply to reviews this week..which i was really proud of...it was a killer week at school..and im about ready to quit..but i've only got a week and a half left...so im really hoping it won't disrupt my writing schedule!

lastly..with this chapter..ok..so most of the stuff describing sasuke's past was straight out of my head with a few obvious guidlines..like itachi killing his family..so if its not exactly accurate..thats not what i was going for...also..i know it may have been boring..but i really wanted to show that sasuke was able to not be a block of ice...and so thats why i included the fluff at the end...well...honestly..i wasn't in the mood to introduce any dramatic story lines today...so thats for later...actually..im think there's only 3 more chapters left..wow!..almost done!

ok..and lastly-lastly..thanks for the reviews!..and for reading...and once again..feel free to tell me anything abotu my story..or whatever you want...like giving me a virtual oreo..(lol..u know who you are!)..haha

Wolfs: umm..well Sasuke isn't a virgin if that's what ur asking. And I kind of felt that it wasn't exactly a good moment to put that in but I guess was I was trying to say was that he couldn't even compare her to anyone else because she was so much more to him…does that make sense? Im sorry if u felt that it ruined the moment…I actually wanted to go back and take that part out..but I couldn't find it…so I thought maybe I really didn't put it in..but I guess I did..anyway..if u wanna tell me where it is approx. then I'll be happy to take it out. ..anyway thanks for the review

Yssa: short and sweet!..thanks

Sylvia: lol..ur so enthusiastic..but I don't think there will be another lemon in this fic just cuz that's not really the point of it. I just wanted to include Sakura's first time becuz I thought it was a momentous event…I have an idea for my next fic tho..which will probably be way more adult..but we'll see when I'm done this…im glad you enjoyed it tho..thanx!

Dancingwithinbrokendreams: (accepts oreo) and…(eats oreo)…lol..thanks for that…oh well..this whole story was based on his memory..so we'll just blame it on his greatness..:)….lol

InterwovenEmotions: aww..its reviews like this that make me want to update faster! I'm glad that you enjoyed it and I hope you continue to read …thanks for the review!

Xnightshadex: another short and sweet one..thanks!

Heartless Ghost: yay for sasuke!…I did get the birth date right right?…cuz I just got it off a website that looked credible enough..i dunno..oh well..thanks for ur reviews again!

Tamara: thanks..and I respect that…I hope I didn't offend you..and I wanted to put up different versions because I didn't want to force people into reading the sex..so thanks for giving it a chance..and I hope you keep reading!

see you soon!