Okay here is my attempt at a random humor fic…Hope you like it!

Disclaimer…

Valon: …Wait! I'm doin' the disclaimer cause JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik says I'm hot!

JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik: Okay, just hurry up so we can get to the good part!

Valon: Okay! --Disclaimer: JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik does not own Yugioh or any of the characters!

Valon: Are U proud of me!

JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik: Ya! (Huggles Valon)

Random Randomness

Chapter 1: DOOMed to be bored

Raphael squinted at the screen, cursing under his breath. He continued to push the buttons on the remote, but nothing happened, much to his annoyance.

It was at that time that Alister chose to walk into the blond man's room. He blinked, and walked over to the muscle-bound man's bed. He blinked again in confusion.

"Raphael, what are you doing?" He asked calmly when he noticed the blank screen of Raphael's television. The blond scowled.

"Darn thing won't work! I've been trying to change the channel for half an hour now, and the stupid remote won't work!" He said furiously. Alister sighed and slapped his forehead.

"Geeze, Raph, it helps if you turn it on first!" He yelled in exasperation. The blond blinked and pulled out his 'reading glasses'.

"…" The blonde's jaw dropped when he realized his TV wasn't even on. Alister sighed.

"Maybe you should get your eyes checked." The red head suggested. Raphael glared at him.

"What are you talking about?" He demanded. "My eyes are just fine!" Raphael yelled as he pulled the glasses off. He stood up in a huff. "I'm leaving!" He declared and stormed off…directly into a wall, knocking himself unconscious.

Alister blinked, then sighed. "Okay…Riiiiiight…" He said in a sarcastic voice. As entertaining as it had been…he was bored again. Time to go bother Valon!

He stopped in front of the brunet's door. He heard shuffling and groaning, his mind jumping to all kinds of sick conclusions. He took a deep breath and yanked open the door.

Valon looked up from his HUGE pile of DVD cases to see Alister standing in the doorway.

"Hey Alister, wat's up?" Valon asked boredly. He noticed the deep blush on his friend's face.

"Um…well I thought you were doing…something…" the redhead said embarrassedly. Valon blinked.

"Huh? Like what?" The clueless brunet asked. Alister shuddered.

"Nothing…just forget about it!" He said. "What are you doing anyways?" Alister asked.

Valon shrugged. "Just lookin' fer my favorite movie." He replied as he picked up a random DVD. His eyes widened. "Whoa! I forgot I had this one! Hey Al, wanna watch a movie?" He asked excitedly.

Alister sighed. "Whatever…I guess it couldn't hurt. What's it called?" The red head asked.

Valon smiled. "It's called 'Martyr of Wit', it's an Action-Comedy-Romance-Horror-Drama-Tragedy!" He explained. Alister sweat dropped.

"Right…and that means what?" He asked boredly. Valon rolled his eyes and popped the movie in.

--Five Minutes Later—

Alister's eye twitched.

"…Oh my love! Do not say such things, or I shall smite you! Muahahahahaha!"

"No, Caroline! Not If I kill you first!" Sounds of a chainsaw can be heard in the background.

"Adam! What are you doing? Forget about her! We still have to save Ricky from the Mummy and sacrifice Sarah to the cocoa-bean statue so that we can get more milk!"

"…Milk? Is that all you think about, Andrea? You really are an evil pirate after all!"

Random robot: "Die!" Andrea dies. Screams can be heard from Adam and Caroline.

Adam: "No! I wanted to rip her heart out and worship it!" He cried sadly. Caroline punches him. "How dare you! I loved her!" She cried. Adam gives her a horrified look.

"Caroline… are you …bi?" He asked in shock. She stood up and glared at him.

"So what if I am?" She demanded as she pulled out a rocket launcher and blew his head off. Guts splattered all over the screen.

Valon burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Hahahahahahaha! Ain't dis da best movie eva' Alister?" He asked joyfully.

Alister twitched again. "No." He said moodily. Valon rolled his eyes.

"Dat's messed up, mate! …Hey after this is over, ya wanna watch parts two, three, four, and five?" He asked. Alister's eyes widened.

"Nah, that's okay Valon…gee I sure am hungry though…" He said as he excused himself from the room. Valon simply shrugged, not able to believe that anybody could dislike his movie.

Alister walked out into the kitchen. He pulled open the door of the fridge and inspected the contents. He saw: Soy milk, yogurt, an open stick of butter, green olives, a lemon, a lime, and a bottle of ranch salad dressing. He wrinkled his nose up in disgust. There was only one obvious choice…

…The butter! Alister happily pulled out the stick of butter and sucked on it as he headed back towards Valon's room.

The brunet blinked. "Butter? What'cha eatin' that for?" He asked the red head.

Alister sighed. "What? I just happen to like it, so there!" He said irritably. Valon bit his lip.

"I wouldn't eat it if I were ya." He warned his friend. Alister rolled his eyes. "Why? Is it going to make me fat, or something?" He asked sarcastically. Valon frowned.

"Ya, but that's besides the point…do you know what Raphael did with that?" He asked in horror. Alister blinked.

"…No." He said cautiously. Valon leaned forward and whispered into his ear. Alister's eyes widened.

"WHAT!" Alister shrieked. Valon nodded.

Alister's eyes widened suspiciously. "And how would you know!" He seethed. Valon smiled.

"I watched!" The brunet replied. Alister's jaw dropped.

"EWW! Valon, that's DISGUSTING! How could you watch something like that?" The red head demanded.

Valon shrugged. "Heh, der was nothin' on the cookin' channel so…" He trailed off.

Alister groaned, trying to get the disturbing images of Raphael and the stick of butter out of his head…and yes, he was still sucking on said stick of butter…why be wasteful?

…He was getting bored again. Alister grabbed the remote from Valon and changed the TV over to the local news station. Valon glared.

"Hey! Dis is my room! Go to your own room if ya wanna watch da news!" He demanded. Alister ignored him.

"Shut up Val, I'm watching this!" He replied to the now sulking brunet.

"…And now for some breaking news! Kaiba corp. has been stolen! …yup, you heard me right! The 2,513 floor Kaiba corp. main building has mysteriously vanished. Police believe it has something to do with the "Wet Paint" incident earlier this week, but local residents fail to see the connection!"

Alister sweat dropped. "…that's odd…" He mumbled as he finished off the butter and turned off the tube.

Raphael groaned as he walked out into the living room. "Ow…what hit me?" He wondered aloud. Alister shrugged as he licked the butter wrapping. Raphael's eyes widened, a blush appearing on his face. He growled at the red headed boy.

"Alister…you ate my butter?"

JouVal-Yaoi-Fanatik: Okay, I admit that was weird…it didn't turn out as I expected either…but anyways PLZ review!

…And thankies to Contestshipping-MayxDrew for the reviews on my other stories!

Thanks also to Divine Crimson Rose and to dragonlady222!