haha yes, i'm back with a new chapter but in time for chirstmas! how do you feel santa!

santa: ...like a chocholate reindeeer.

yes that made no sense.

guest people in this chapter: pac man and me (the author. i speak sorta in parenthesis like this one)

yes...remember to read and review. and enjoy.

To Italy or Suffer!

"Today we are going to be doing CPR," said Remington. In case you havent noticed, Remington was the gym teacher/janitor/plumber and more but since they had a new janitor, Joe, Reming was just a gym/yard teacher/plumber. How everyone had to do CPR for PE beats me. But they're not going to do CPR in PE so Remington is taking a lunch break.

FLASHBACK!

Sister Kate was grading papers one day after school when the speaker came on. It was the voice of the principal, Mr. Principal.

"Attention teachers! Due to the noticabily low excercising that teens get, all students must participate in CPR class and score an B minus or higher or they will get suspended and taken to PE opprotinity substitute school, which is conveniently located all...the way downtown, which is about 3,000 miles away from here. Thank you for your patience."

THE NEXT DAY!

"Class, I have just gotten a notice yesterday that everyone must take part in this CPR class and get a B minus or higher or else you will be placed in PE opprotunity school and get suspended."

Everyone booed.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Shader. "I hate CPR!"

"Hell yeahs!" Genai yelled. "It's like an excuse to kiss a dummy!"

"I don't even know what CPR stands for!" said Aion. "Cee Pee Are! What the hell does that mean!"

"Well...I"m sure that...it might be fun," Fiore said, trying to be encouraging.

"Hah! CPR is for dumb people," said Joshua.

Suddenly Fiore put on her scary opera mask and held Joshua by his shirt collar.

"Master Joshua...you are going to do CPR or no pie for you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joshua screamed dramacticly, which I might add, wasn't dramatic at all. "I love pie! How will I live without my pie!"

"You could just jack an airplane and drive to 'Marie Calendars'. They sell pie there," said Rosette.

"I'm there!" Joshua said really happy. "Now to jack a plane!"

Then Joshua sneaked out even though Sister Kate was paying attention and he eventually jacked a plane. But! Due to New York's horrible and really long traffic jams, Joshua was stuck at the airport terminal...for 7 hours straight.

"Curse you God! Curse yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

UP IN THE HEAVENS!

God hears Joshua curse and sends Santa an email to put Joshua on the 'bad list' ".

"Too bad," Santa said, as he crossed Joshua's name off. "You could've got 'world domination' for Chirstmas!"

BACK ON EARTH!

Suddenly evil blobs came in, which gives me, the author, an excuse to include Pac Man in this fanfic! And he blew up!

Then a black taxi came and some FBI people got out of the car, kidnapped everyone (except Sister Kate), and sped to some weird building in Malaysia that looked like a mall.

"Wait!" shouted Rosette. "If we were in New York before and some FBI people drove us to Malaysia, which is across from an ocean, how can the FBI car go through the ocean?"

"Sinple!" said FBI person #1. "There's a giant bridge connecting Europe and America! Just like that Golden Gate bridge in California whatever, but longer!"

"Hey!" shouted some random nerd who does give a crap. "The Golden Gate Bridge wasn't build until after 1920! Or was it 1910?"

Suddenly, Mary Magdalene came in with this stupidly long sword, like the one Cloud Strife has from Final Fantasy 7, and killed the nerd, saying that God made her.

"Ahem, yes!" said FBI person #2. "Now to put this bluntly since our stupid car company charges long distance on the car. We have been ordered by the president of the North Pole (which is not Santa, Jesus, or Hitler) to kidnapp you students to complete your CPR class! Or you shall face the wrath of the Yrusneyl beasts from Italy! Oh yea...the person who speaks on that intercom thingy will help you."

And then everyone walked to this CPR training hall place.

ON WITH THE DANGEROUS CPR TASKS!

"The first thing you should do is check if the patient has a pulse and is breathing" said the intercom.

Everyone stared at the dummy that was suppose to be used for CPR practices.

"Magdalene, can't you just use that big sword thingy and save us?" groaned Rosette.

"But God is making me read this!" protested Magdalene, while showing Rosette some book called, How to Stop Killing Everyone Because God is Making You, The Atkins Diet Way.

"Forgot the goddamn book! None of us know CPR and we're all too stupid to save ourselves!"

"OoooH! OoooHhH!" Chrno cried as he frantically raised his hand. Then he ran up to the CPR dummy and performed CPR, the demented way, which I might add, involves killing your patient.

"Congradulations," said FBI person #1. "You have passed. Guess we won't be needing those Yrusneyl beasts."

Then somewhere in Italy, a Yrusneyl beast snorted.

Everyone cheered. Then Joshua, who finally jacked a plane but instead flew to Malaysia, accidentaly ran over FBI person #1 in the process, who was now squashed dead.

"Stop them! They have not really completed CPR training!" said FBI person #2. "Guards! Get them!"

"Magdalene! Save us!" everyone screamed. "That FBI dude is going to make us suffer!"

Magdalene looked up at the ceiling. (to god)

God shruged. "Don't really care."

Magdalene got out a water bottle, sneaked up from behind the guards, and killed them.

Everyone cheered. Again. Then they boarded Joshua's 'jacked' plane and flew back to New York.

But unfortunatelly, as they were passing over Spain, Portugal, France whatever (yes they are all on the route to New York if your flying from Malaysia) the people still fighting that war in Iraq threw those hand grenades up in the air, but it never hit back down. Instead it hit the plane. And it stuck to it. So yes, the plane exploded and landed somewhere between Italy and the Medeteranian Sea!

"Joshua!" screamed Rosette, digging through the sands of some beach. "Speak to me! Anything!"

"Ha...yea I'm alive," coughed Joshua.

"Thank god! Wait...aren't we suppose to be mortal enemies or something?"

"Nah...that's for Chrno and Aion but since Chrno has...'mental issues' they're not like that. And considering we're the only brother-sister pair, blah...yea"

"Never mind that where are we!" said an angry Satella.

"Hm...I got an idea!" said Fiore. "Master Joshua, lie down in the sand and make a sand angel."

"This is absurd. This story isn't going anywhere and the readers probably think this is getting bor--ACK!" Joshua was hit by a flying Ice Cream Cart and promptly laid down and made a sand angel while Fiore observed...stuff.

"We're in Italy," said Fiore, dusting her apron dress.

"FORKS!" shouted Shader pissed. "This whomps! No one in our group speaks Italian or anything near it!"

"DO NOT WORRY MY PEOPLE!" announced Genai. "I speak Italian! It's a lot like Spanish you know!"

"NO IT IS NOT!" said some ice cream stand guy with an Irish accent, getting back his ice cream stand which was on Joshua.

"YES IT IS! I WAS ONCE IN THE MILITARY AND I SERVED FOR THE ITALIAN WAR!"

"THERE WAS NO STINKING ITALIAN WAR IN HISTORY, BITCH!"

"YES THERE WAS! AND TELL THE AUTHOR TO STOP LEAVING THE CAPS LOCK ON!"

Suddenly, Magdalene snuck up behing the Ice Cream man, who she though was the evil pope, and killed him.

"Chrno, your old lover has problems," said Aion.

"What! Do you Mean!" said Chrno ridicuosly. He held up some taco he jacked back when they were still in Malaysia.

(Sorry about the caps lock thing. Will Genai ever prove to anyone that he did serve for some nonexsistent war? Will they ever get out of Italy? Will this fanfiction ever make sense!)

bah...crappy working brain equals crappy work >> I could've dont better. just dont feel like saving and retyping all over again. too tired...

sorry for the long delay but remember...only a couple more days till chirstmas (well the time when this was posted yea