Hello peeps! i'm back and yet again i have another chapter after a long delay. just a quick note to all my reviewers and fans of my stories that i probably wont be able to update again until the end of this month (which is january 2006)or later since i have exams on the 18-20 so probably no updates there. expect a little longer wait for chapter nine.

Yes...now to make this quick...

disclaimer: no i dont own chrno crusade. i own this fanfiction but not chrno crusade. now have fun.

oh yes...hope you enjoy chapter 9!

The Day Stuff Happened

(what a corny title)

(yes it IS definatelly corny!)

Now, the last time we left everybody, they got stuck in Italy, Mary Magdalene killed some ice cream guy, Shader was trying to fix the airplane, and now everyone is trying to bury the ice cream man (for Magdalene's sake).

THE PRESENT

"Dearly friends, we have gathered here today to morn over a special dearly departed soul of this world," Fiore says. "He was very...um...uh...a...loving person. Yeah thats it! A loving person, who, if I might add, we knew for 5 minutes. Let the soul of ...the ice cream man with the Irish accent, live on."

Aion and Genai lower a makeshift coffin made of ice cream cone crumbs, which immediately sets on fire due to the sudden and random fact that there was a forest fire behind them. Everyone looks at Rosette, who forced everyone to attend the 'funeral'.

"What? There aren't many ice cream men working these days."

"Ah, forget it," Aion said picking up an piece of a broken ice cream cone and holding it up in the air. "Besides...he smelled anyway."

Then seagulls game and attacked Aion, due to the fact that seagulls will attack you and steal your food if they see it. And now you can hear Aion screaming in the backround!

"AAAAAAAHHH! MY EYES! MY AWESOME, AND YET NOT SHINY EYES!"

Magdalene began crying her eyes out.

"HWAAAA! WHY! WHY DID I HAVE TO KILL THE NICE ICE CREAM MAN! HWAAAA! GOD, I DIDN'T MEAN TO!'

"Correction: God MADE you," corrected Satella.

"Oh yea..."

Well anyway, they've decided that since it would be too long to wait for Shader to fix the plane all by herself, they all decided to make some shelter or just find a hotel in Italy and kill the manager.

"I vote to find tacos!" Chrno said.

"Er..yes." a nervous Rosette said. "I'll go follow Chrno so he doesn't try to eat another Taxi cab driver. Satella, Aion, and Fiore, you go jack a hotel. Joshua, Genai, Magdalene, Azmaria, and you three nun...people, you go find another plane and jack it."

Fiore raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Is it even possible to jack a hotel?"

"Yes...if Joshua can jack a plane, you can too!"

So everyone spread out and began doing their jobs. We shall call the group with Joshua "Joshua's Group", the one with Aion "Aion's Group".

AION' S GROUP!

Satella, Aion, and Fiore walked into some weird Italian hotel. Then some hotel employee walked by them.

"Excuse me, sir," Fiore said as she poked the poor employee. "Is this hotel suitable for jacking?"

Aion smaked himself in the forehead "You dumbass! We want to jack this place without letting anyone know."

The hotel employee looked at them weirdly. We see a close-up of his name tag: Roberto.

"Why, what is this jacking you...Americans say of? Ja-KING? Why I dont know." said Roberto

Roberto then took his gaze away from Fiore and looked at the red-head Satella, who unfortunatelly was wearing a very revealing outfit that almost made him drool or have a nosebleed. (okay so her outfit isn't THAT revealing but to Roberto it is)

Roberto stared at Satella's...er...um...(coughcough) chest.

While Satella was...not really getting the message that Roberto was being a pervert, Aion and Fiore began to kill random employees just for the heck of it. In one hotel employee they found that he had a $20 Wal-Mart gift card.

"So...er...madam..." Roberto said, sweating like a huge pig. "Er...lovely day huh? Yes?"

Satella blinked. "Why..uh...yes it is."

Satella then, out of nowhere, hugged the guy. Unfortunatelly, she couldn't see that he was blushing and thinking really perverted stuff.

Then Mary Magdalene came (again) and killed the guy.

"HWAAAAA! I KILLED ANOTHER ONE!" Mary Magdalene said as she once again cried her eyes out.

Fiore sat down next to her and pulled out How to Stop Killing People Because God is, Once Again, Making You, The Atkins Diet Way.

WITH ROSETTE AND CHRNO!

Unfortunatelly for Rosette, Chrno was running away from her and with a necklace, 3 ice cream cones, a tree branch, 8 stuffed animals, a butterfly, and a microphone stand with no microphone.

"Chrno! Get back here! Sister Kate's gonna kill me if you Hit-and-Run!" screamed Rosette.

Then Chrno ran into a really shiny pole and fainted.

"Dammit Chrno, I swear you do have mental problems..." murmured Rosette, who now had to drag an unconcious Chrno along with the necklace, 3 ice cream cones, a tree branch, 8 stuffed animals, a butterfly, and a microphone stand with no microphone.

JOSHUA'S GROUP! YAY!

Joshua and everyone else was stuck at the International Italian airport highway/terminal. Unfortunatelly, no one had told him that the real evil Pope was coming to town and the paparazzi was there. This is what Joshua's Mind said:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Azmaria petted Joshua. "It's okay Joshua-san. We'll make it there...eventually."

Joshua glared at the white/lavender haired apostle. "Since when are you interesting in japanese?"

"Since I found out this cool T-shirt with Beyblade, Digimon and Pokemon on it."

"...Azmaria...those shows are for little kids."

THE NEXT DAY...

Everyone arrives back to where the plane crashed unharmed and not hungry...somehow.

"Eureka! I have fixed the plane!" Shader remarks. "And its better than before!"

Everyone hops into the plane and in 10 minutes, it takes off.

"YAY!"

And 2 hours later, they made it back safely to the Magdalene Order, only to find out that Remington was yet again, taped to a tree and his mouth covered by his fanpeople and stripped of his clothes. He now wore only his boxers.

"Dude! Get some clothes will you!" says everyone.

"MmhmNnnN! Mnn Mnn Mnmnhmm MNMNmmmhnmMmn Mnmn MhNMNN NNNmnmhnn nMmnmNmnnh NnNm MNh!"

"What? You're saying that little Timmy is drowning in the showers?" says Aion.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you found people selling pie on Ebay?" asks Joshua.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you bought porno magazines?" asks Satella.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you learned how to speak in Thai?" asks Rosette.

"Your saying that you found tacos!" asks Chrno.

"Your saying that you got raped by fanpeople so you said to everyone 'Rapist no raping?'" asks Fiore.

"Mnmnm!" says Remington.

Everyone stares at Remington.

"Wow...our gym teacher got 'raped' by his fanpeople and said that.." Shader said.

Suddenly, Sister Kate comes running down the blacktop.

"Goodness gracious! I though you all had died!" says Kate, with a sigh of relieve.

"No we didn't. But Remington got raped." says Aion. He then peels off the tape on Remington's mouth.

"OUCH! Oh...erm...yes. No I didn't get raped! Some psyco bitch taped tried to be all sexy to me and I fell for it and now I'm stuck in this tree!"

"...Wow...our gym teacher is a real idiot" whispers Magdalene.

"Yup."

THE END.

yes...one chapter done and more to go.

just to let you know, if this story is popular enough, i'll make a sequel to this:-)

and now a word from the big ad:

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