Sorry, sorry. Again, computer trouble.

I mention Keisha's meeting with the Doctor in Doctor Who Book "The Feast of the Drowned". Just thought I'd mention that because not everyone has read the books and I don't want people getting confused. So bear with me, yeah?

Oh, and I've just always wanted to make the Doctor sing. David is a good singer! He should do it more on the show.

Again, sorry for taking so very, very long.

Daddy's girl

Chapter ten

In the end, he comes to me.

"Took your time," I mutter. I'm outside the medical room again, my back against the wall and he just comes marching up to me. God knows where he was hiding, I searched the whole ship - just me, there's less chance of me getting lost. He laughs and sits beside me. Surprisingly, I don't mind.

"Sorry," he says. "I had to think".

I resist the urge to snort skeptically-just. "So you weren't running away then?"

He shakes head. "Nope. Well," he frowns. "Maybe a little bit. I always come home though".

"Is that what I am now?" I ask, smiling just a little. "Home?"

He grins and nods. "Yep".

"Sure you don't want to…" I search around my head for keeping in the 'home' metaphor. "Sell me on and by back your old one?"

It takes him a second to work out what I'm suggesting. When he does, he shakes his head and drapes an arm about my shoulders. "Even if I could," he says sincerely. "I wouldn't. Trust me".

I nod, but I'm not completely convinced. It's hard, when you've secretly suspected something for years, even if you don't want to believe it. I always thought he probably didn't love me. The second that became possible, no matter how many other explanations there were, I was determined to believe that was true. It was hard to convince myself otherwise. He seemed to realize this, because he had more to say.

"This isn't something which you just decided in the last few hours," he mutters, suspiciously. "Ok, the changing the past, thinking I hate you that makes sense. Kind of. Even if it isn't true. But…not happy with you? Jenny…" he sighs, frustrated as though, for once, he doesn't know ho to word it. "How long, exactly, have you thought I hated you? 'Cause I keep feeling like I'm missing something here."

I look away and shrug. Not point hiding anything from him. "I dunno…years. I…I never thought, it just sort of…made sense".

He snorted. "It made sense for me to hate my only daughter?"

I almost laugh. "Well, when you put it like that…" I admit. It does sound a bit unlikely. "Your daughter who basically killed the love of your very long life?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" he says, in the same tone. "…It's still utter crap". There's a short silence. "I'm sorry, Jenny". He says again. I raise an eyebrow, questioningly.

"Do you think you're ever going to be able to stop saying that?" I ask a hint of humor in my voice. It's his turn to shrug now.

"Maybe when I run out of things to say sorry for. And trust me, as you get older that list will grow. I'll make sure of it. Wait until you make me bring the first pretty boy of the season on board…"

"Yeah, I suppose it…wait, what do you mean, 'pretty boy'?" I turn to stare at him incredulously. "And what'll you need to say you're sorry for?"

He grins. "Think 'Meet the parents' Doctor Style. It's one of the perks of being a dad. I've been looking foreword to it. And mark my words, you Tyler girls; you love your pretty boys. Your mother and your Grandmother as well".

I narrow my eyes. "And I suppose you were a very pretty boy?"

He nods sincerely. "Oh yes, the prettiest of them all". More from relief at the suddenly more relaxed atmosphere, we both laugh. There's another moment of silence, but much more companionable now.

"Why did you think I hated you back then?" he asks softly. It's almost a whisper.

"'Cause your…" I'm not sure how to word it. "…Different," he looks puzzled and I know I need to go into more detail. "When I was little, Jack and Jackie used to tell me about before I was born. I…I loved hearing stories about you. About her. And…they'd tell me things, about how you acted. And I'd think 'Why's he not like that now?' and that just seemed to fit. That it was cause of me. I suppose I…just sort of stuck with the idea".

"Oh, God…"

"I guess I should add that to the list of things to be sorry for?" I say. Slowly, cautiously, I reach out for his hand and squeeze it tightly. "It's alright".

"No, it's not," he replies. "It's really not. Jennifer…" he puts his other hand over my one that's holding his. "Don't you understand? Can't you…" he sighs and closes his eyes. A moment later, he opened them again. "I…distance myself from you because I'm scared," it's as though he's admitting it to himself. "I'm supposed to be some kind of…strong person. I can't let people down. But I do. I'll make you hurt. Wherever I go, I bring pain and…I'm scared that if I get too close to you, I'm gonna hurt you most." He smiled, sadly. "I guess I never really thought I'd be hurting you more by doing so. All these years and I didn't even realize. And I am sorry, Jenny. I'm so, so sorry for not even seeing it".

I smiled back, in exactly the same way. "So am I" I tell him, blinking back tears. "So how's abouts we just forget it?"

He nods. "Sounds like a plan".

A little bit beautiful

When he came back, Jackie was out.

For the first week she'd been terrified, sure that at any moment, Jenny was going to be gone from her life. She'd cried a lot, and been too scared to leave the house. Eventually, though, she decided that if he was going to go through with it, he would have already.

Which begged the question of where he was now.

So when she had to go out to get a few things, she'd left Jenny with Rose's old friends, Keisha and Shareen, who'd come up to see the baby. They'd been more than happy to watch her while Jackie was away, and it was quite by chance that the Doctor showed up there at the same time.

Keisha answered. Her mouth dropped open when she saw who it was. "You!" she whispered in shock. She hadn't expected to see him again…ever.

He blinked. "Me, and…you! What...where's Jackie?" he shook his head, getting his bearings.

She didn't answer. Without warning, she slapped him. "We thought you'd done a runner!" she hissed, as he staggered backwards in shock. "Jackie's been crying and worried sick!"

He jumped away from her wincing from the sting. Why is everyone here so violent? He wondered. "I know, I know…I'm sorry," he looked away. "I was just…I had to get away," he sniffed, looked back at her, and smiled the saddest smile she'd ever seen. "I lost Rose…"

Keisha's face softened. She understood what he meant. For a moment she looked like she was going to hug him, but then Shareen shouted from inside. "Keish? Keisha, who is it?"

Keisha hesitated for a moment. "You'd better come in," she said, standing aside. He entered the house, breathing in the warm atmosphere of the Tyler's house. Well, Tyler singular now, he thought, sadly. Somehow, this place never stopped feeling like Christmas.

Shareen narrowed her eyes when she saw him. "Who's this?" she asked, cocking her head at him and raising and eyebrow. Keisha looked, for a moment, helpless.

"He's uh…he's the dad".

Shareen stared at him for a moment. "You bastard…" she whispered. "What the hell is your problem, just showing up here, like-like-"

"Leave it," Keish told her, warningly. Shareen turned on her.

"What? After everything? After he did a runner, after-"

"Shareen, I said leave it!" Keisha snapped, sending her an evil glare. Shareen looked as though she was going to argue, but thought better of it. The Doctor looked carefully between the two.

"Thanks," he muttered, in a non-committal way.

"It's not for you, it's for Jackie".

"I know," he smiled. "That's my point".

He heard Jackie coming back, but didn't react. It seemed far away from the darkened room, he looked down at him daughter properly for the first time.

She was bigger than a normal baby of this age, but he'd known she was going to grow up at a much faster rate from the beginning; even now she she seemed to understand exactly what was going on. She had Rose's face. Possibly a mix of both their eyes, her shade of brown, but with his expression. She blinked up at him, curiously, as though trying to work out what he with thinking, but couldn't quite see it. Being Gallifreyan, she'd probably be a mish-mash of his past regenerations at first, but she'd possibly grow out of it during her fifties, unless she regenerated before then. Was that how it would work if she was half human? Would all of her regenerate, or just the things she got from him? Thinking about it made his head throb behind the eyes. He hoped she wouldn't get his sixth incarnation's love of bright colours, but wouldn't mind too much if she wanted a scarf. Or an umbrella.

He wanted to pick her up. But somehow, couldn't make his arms move. It felt as though, once in his arms, he'd do something bad. Hurt her. He'd already failed her once, what if he did it again? He was scared to touch his own kid. How pathetic was that. He, the last time lord, who'd faced down Daleks, Autons, Sontarans and Cybermen, couldn't even pick up his baby girl.

It wasn't as though he didn't know how to do it. He remembered being a dad, such a very long time ago. When he was young and slightly stupider than he was now. He hadn't been too bad at it then, had he? But like he said, that was such a long time ago. He was a different man. Was he any good to her?

In a sudden, but also gentle movement, he reached in a picked her up.

"Well, this isn't so hard," he muttered, adjusting himself slightly so as to support her head. "Aye?" she squinted up at him. Reaching up, she grabbed a clump of hair and yanked on it, hard.

"Ow!" he jerked his head from her grasp. "That," he said, matter-of-factually, "Was on purpose". It seemed he'd been right, she did know everything that was going on.

She stared up at him, her face almost accusatory. It was a look that meant "You do deserve it, you know,"

"Yeah," he smiled, sadly. "I know. I'm maybe stating the obvious here, but I've been a wee bit rubbish, as of late, concerning the being a responsible father. But," he sat on the edge of the cot, hitching her further up his arm. "I'm gonna try harder. 'Cause that's what your mother wouldn't want. And that's what I want. So, why don't I try with getting you to sleep, hm?"

She blinked at him, and crossed her eyes. He took that to mean yes.

"Ok, good," he said. "Now, how should we start? Should I sing?" again, a crossing of the eyes. "Ok, what should I sing?" he smiled as she quite literally shrugged her little shoulders. "Hm, I'll just pick something at random then, shall I?" He thought for a moment, before trying a song from a singer he hated. He despised the song with a vengeance, but it would be good to know who he was letting into his TARDIS.

"I give her all my love
that's all I do
And if you saw m-"

He stopped short as she swung her leg out and kicked him, quite hard, even for her size, in the chest. "Ouch!" he said. "Where do you get all this violence from?" he sighed, smiling a little and almost with relief. "Not a Cliff Richard fan, then? I don't blame you, it's a bit sickly. Jackie will not be pleased, though".

"Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next-"

She didn't kick him this time, but shook her head, violently. "Aw, you don't like Fall Out Boy, either?" he frowned. "Ok, Cliff I can understand, but FoB aren't that bad! On the other hand, thanks for not kicking me this time, I appreciate that". He sighed and closed his eyes, thinking for a minute. "Ok," he said, opening them again. "I'll try one more time, and if you don't like it, I'll try something else," he squinted down at her little face. She blinked back up, and gave a nod, telling him she knew what he'd said. He took a breath.

"If I could remember
a face I'd never seen
deep in these embers
that glow on endlessly
hat would they tell me
if others had lost their faith
what would they sell me
if we had lost our way…"

It seemed to be going alright so far. He went on.

"If I could wake up
and see another day
if I could fake all
the lies I'd never said
how would I know you
if I had turned away
what that would show you

I never could have said

and we've got to run
deep through these forests
or hang upon the hill

I've got a wish"
something to promise
but, no I never will"

He looked down to see her fast asleep already. Four Star Mary? He could live with that. Carefully, he lay her down in the cot, turned for the door, and gave a start as he saw Jackie, standing in the doorway as though she had always been there.

"I'm not that bleedin' scary, am I?" she laughed as she said it, but her face was tear streaked. She crossed the room to check him over, something she did out of habit, mostly. "How are you?" she asked, in a softer voice.

"Been better," he said, shaking his head with the shock. "But you're crying. What's the matter?"

She shrugged. "Oh, you know," she gave a sad look that he understood perfectly. "And then I came back and I saw that ruddy box of yours and…well Keisha told me what happened, so I sent her and Shareen home and I came in here to find you singing and it was…" she trailed off, a far away look on her face, as though she'd slipped off into a daydream.

"A little bit what?" the doctor prompted her, curiosly. Her eyes met his and she smiled, a real, proper smile for the first time in three weeks.

"A little bit beautiful".

"Just a bit?"

"Just a bit, yeah".

He smiled back at her, a true mimic of her own. "I thought so, too".

Yay! Last chapter! Christ, it's been a long time, I can barely remember when this was barely a plot bunny that wouldn't go away. I'd never have thought of making a sequel then, but will now. I'll tell the name in the prologue, because I'm not even sure of the plot yet. It will be more of an action than an emotional story, though.