Breathing in the dark, lying on its side...
Dollface sat on the front steps, hands clasped between her propped knees, head dangling from her hunched shoulders.
The ruins of the day, painted with a scar...
She shouldn't have bothered with being nice
She should have taken Sebbie's family gift of a new sister and sent her back to hoity-toity England. She should have pushed her back into that car this morning and sent them all back home.
And the more I straighten out, the less it wants to try...
She should've-
"I'll never forget that look yer uncle Sebbie gave ya when he first held ya."
Dollface didn't look up, but her chain of coulda-shoulda-woulda came to an abrupt halt.
"I know th'story, Gramma."
The feelings start to rot, one wink at a time...
Gramma sighed, looking into the distant corn and soybean fields across the rough road from the house. Fireflies began illuminating themselves and rising, joining the moon, stars, and porchlight that buzzed overhead. A few moths fluttered around the bare bulb, a cicada screaming and slamming into the front porch's overhang. On the distant horizon, Dollface could see ancient trees line the outstretching corn fields that surrounded the town.
Forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain...
If she wasn't paying attention, the vague, dark outlines of the trees created the profile of a girl's face. She couldn't help but wonder who that girl was.
Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away.
"Well, it's time I told ya th'rest." Gramma said, "Since th'cat's outta th'bag for good this time."
Dollface silently waited, Michael counting the shiny pebbles Dollface had found in the creek over the years and gifted him, each one special to him.
Who cared about pearls or diamonds or any other stone when you lived near a stream full of speckled, polished, rough, sharp, or pretty rocks your best friend would spend afternoons finding while he fished?
When you get out of bed, don't end up stranded...
Each one had a memory, he would say, now adding onto the thought further with the addition of Regina, each one is more precious than any silly necklace her new sister would wave in front of Dollface's bumpy nose that matched his.
Horrified with each stone on the stage, my little dark age.
"Ya weren't th'healthiest baby, ya know that. You were on an incubator for a few months while Reggie was sent to live wit'yer mama an'pa in England. I never told ya that much."
"Yeah, I figured that's what was up at that time." Dollface grunted, "Lucky bitch got all th'good shit. She don't know how good she had it."
Picking through each card, knowing what's nearby...
Michael picked up an especially pretty pebble, one made of smoothed out rose quartz she found while walking in the woods near his house. That had been a rough day when she'd been in school, as Missy and her shitty friends had decided to throw her under a bus when caught with Miller Lite.
The carvings on their face say they find it hard...
Luckily, Dollface had managed to wriggle out of that situation afterwards, but not before laying face-down on Michael's living room floor, trying not to repeatedly slam her face against another sharp doorframe like the last time Missy had fucked her over.
After that, they'd walked down to the stream and found rocks to lay out in the garage window for safe keeping.
And the engine's failed again, all limits of disguise...
"Yer mama bought her toys instead of love. I thought we'd taught her better. When ya could finally get out an'meet yer family, well, it was a real party. Miraculously, you an'yer sister were growin' 'bout th'same an'both were healthy." Gramma rambled on. Dollface knew this story well, having heard it since she was a toddler, "Seemed th'doctors jumped the gun a bit, but for th'first few weeks, it had really seemed like ya weren't gonna make it so easily."
Gramma was misty-eyed as she went on, "And when yer uncle Sebastian held ya fer th'first time…"
The humor's not the same, coming from denial...
Dollface sat up as Gramma trailed off, caught-up in a world that no longer existed now that Regina was here, "He fell in love, I really think he did."
Dollface really didn't want to hear about this now, especially since Uncle Sebbie had betrayed her, and thinking about him made her almost…
...Angry.
I grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange...
"What about Dad? Where was he an'Ma?"
Michael rolled the quartz in his large hands, enjoying how the cool surface felt on his skin.
Dollface wanted to reach out and grab it, to feel it's cool, asymmetrical surfaces on her fingertips, but was trapped here in this town, listening to the after dark train roar past without her.
She wished it would take her with it.
I know that if I hide, it doesn't go away...
"He thought it best he never met either of you."
This place was dead and dying all at once, even as the world in the form of cars and highways and roaring trains on tracks passed the suffering, bloated corpse.
Dollface looked up at Gramma who leaned on the porch bannister.
If you get out of bed and find me standing all alone...
"I think he loved ya too." Gramma said, "And he had t'make a hard decision. He decided it would be best fer us t'raise ya. Regina, from what we're learnin', wasn't raised as good as ya."
Open eyed...
"Yeah, no shit." Dollface said, ignoring the scolding Gramma gave her. Dollface stood, "Gramma, I hate it here."
Burn the page...
"Don't say that 'cause ya couldn't have yer way."
"No, it's not 'bout Reggie."
"Hate is still such a strong word, babe'gurl."
My little dark age.
"I wanna leave this place. I don't belong here anymore."
Gramma sighed, "It ain't any better in a city, I can tell ya that."
Dollface sighed, turning away from the endless field of corn and beans and looked to Gramma.
"I just want to do something more."
"But you are. Having you an'yer friends performin' could mean a lot to Elmore. Ya could turn us into th'next Branson! Wound't that be amazin'?"
If I get out of bed...
Fireflies lazily blinked around her.
"The way ya look tonight, babe'gurl, with all 'em fireflies, ya look like an angel." Gramma sighed.
Dollface shifted, the distant trees behind the fields giving her a glimpse of a girl's profile.
"You've got wings darlin', don't let them be taken."
You'll see me standing all alone...
"Grandmother! I want cake!"
Gramma sighed, tired, "Can ya help us teach her t'be 'round other people tomorrow. It's gonna be a job for a whole village."
Horrified, on the stage...
"Grandmother!"
"Comin' Reggie!" Gramma yelled back, "We didn't plan fer it t'be this way."
Dollface checked her watch, a hand-me-down from Grampa.
My little dark age.
If she got a shower now, she could get two hours before she had to meet up in the woods. Dolli Mae was inviting Vinnie, so here's hopin' he wasn't a snitch.
Vinnie seemed cool though, so worrying wasn't what was on Dollface's mind.
Dollface silently stood and wordlessly cracked her neck in unison with Michael, preparing for bed.