We Only Hurt the Ones We Love

"Love Hurts"

Yeah! I finally updated! Whoohoo! I haven't been able to update due to flood killing my computer. But now I can!! Yeah!!

Disclaimer: Nope never in my life will I own Anime, unless they're mine.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tai's POV

What the fuck is Matt's problem! Why is he being such an ass!? Yesterday he was cool. He was at my house till probably past Midnight, what the hell happened? Did I do something to get him pissed at me? I don't think so. We watched horror movies, played some video games, I don't think I did anything wrong? Why is he being like that? Damn, Izzy. He's texting me from his laptop. He went to visit Willis in America, and I was supposed to go somewhere with Matt and Sora, but apparently I'm stuck here at home.

SmarterThanU- Terriermon, just dumped a bucket of custard on Willis. J

GoggleBoy1- Great…Why the hell is Matt being such an ass! L

SmarterThanU- Who knows, something probably happened at home that got him upset.

GoggleBoy1- Maybe…but why take it out on me? He even took it out on Sora. Well…she did go bitch attack on him. That would get me off too.

SmarterThanU- LOL, Willis chased down Terriermon, Kokomon tripped him and he fell into hay, he looks funny. Maybe you should try to talk to him. Even if he starts to act like a jerk. Maybe he might break and fess up.

GoggleBoy1- We'll see, I need to think more. Thanx Izzy, C U L8r.

Conversation with Izzy got me thinking some. Maybe he was having an off day, or not. Maybe he might confess if I talk to him, or not. Maybe something bad happened and it bugged him, or not. Who am I kidding…what if he just doesn't to hang out anymore? What if…what if I'm going to lose my best friend forever? I know I'm immature in some ways, but that's never really bugged him before. It has…in the Digital World. When we would fight. I don't want that to happen again! I will talk to Matt and he will answer me!

Then a knock came at the door, I went to answer, but Kairi beat me to it. It was Matt.

"Hey Matt, come on in. Gatomon is waiting in my room, go ahead and keep her company. Want anything to drink?" Kairi asked cheerily.

"No thanks." Matt answered. He seemed fidgety. Why? Was something going on between him and Kairi? And why the hell do I feel jealous? It's probably because my little sister is taking away my best friend! Yeah! That must be it…right?

Matt turned to me with this confused look. It was sad and angry and sort of lonely. He walked to Kairi's room looking down. Looking away from me. What did I do? Kairi then followed him. What's going on? Why am I so jealous!? Why does she have my Matt in her room?! Hold up…did I say my Matt? Mimi! Must talk to Mimi! She might help me.

"Hel-lo-o-o Mimi speaking!" She said in a sing song voice.

"Mimi it's Tai, this important okay so listen!" I said panicky.

"Sure thing Tai, what's up?"

"Okay, earlier today Matt was acting like a huge jerk; him, Sora , and me were supposed to go out today all together. Well I got mad, because he was being a jerk, I saw Sora told her about it she got mad at him and dumped him, I then chatted with Izzy about it, he told me something probably happened at home and to talk to him. Then Matt came over, but to see Kairi, and he went to Kairi's room, I have no idea what's going on and I got jealous and started yelling at myself in my head and well…something in my head slipped up and I said 'my Matt'…so umm…I'm confused."

"Hm…well…I don't want to jump into anything, but you're probably in love with Matt. Or who knows since you two are such close friends you feel protective of him, but still. You said you felt jealous. How did you feel, besides mad, when Matt started to act mean to you?"

"Well, I kind of felt betrayed. I mean last night we were having a good time, we watched some movies played some video games, talked about everything and stupid things. He wasn't mad, or offended, or anything. It was just us having a good time. I don't get what happened. It feels like…I did something, or…like..."

"He doesn't like you anymore." Mimi finished.

"Yeah…why does it hurt so much to think about that!" I said, and felt like crying.

"Maybe because you do love Matt. Don't try to deny it. It seems pretty obvious. Don't you think?"

"Yeah…it does…but…I don't get why? How come I never saw it before, how come I didn't think about it before?"

"Because you're a guy! Guys don't usually pay attention to their heart as much. Also, you weren't faced with the thought of losing him. You only realize how much something means to you when you lose them."

"Mimi…where did learn all this?" I asked her, shocked on how smart she sounded.

"Teen Magazines!" she said cheerily.

"I'll never understand women."

"Maybe that's why you lo-!"

"Thank you Mimi! Talk to you later!" I cut her off. Now I really had a lot to think about. I love Matt. I'm jealous. I'm scared of losing him, and I just took advice from Mimi and Izzy. Yeah…I'm just all normal right now.

Matt's POV

That look, the one Tai had, I felt so terrible for being so mean to him, but I don't even know why I was being that way. I looked away from him, I didn't want to say or do anything that would hurt him more. That look on his face, it looked so betrayed, so…lonely. Part of me wanted to hold him and say sorry and comfort him, but the other part of me, the part of me that hurt him, wanted to yell at him and call him a moron and look at him cruelly. So, I looked away.

"So Matt what's wrong? You sounded scared on the phone." Kairi asked me when we were all settled in her room.

"Yeah and Tai has been mad and depressed since he got home. Did something happen?" Agumon asked me. He was sitting on the floor holding a mega sized bag of cheesy puffs.

"He's been depressed?" I asked.

"Yeah, I heard him crying when he got to his room, he even threw stuff. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I got big ears." Gatomon said. I looked down ashamed. How did I hurt him that badly? I hid it yesterday. Why couldn't I do that again? Why was it so hard today?

"Matt…what happened?" Kairi asked me, looking at me concerned. So I spilled the whole thing, when it started how it felt, everything all the way down to me sitting in her room spilling my guts. I felt like crying I felt so horrible, so mean. What I got as a response though was Agumon and Gatomon giggling, and Kairi smiling and holding in a chuckle. Okay? Was I missing something? Do they know something I don't know?

"Come on tell me! I know you know something that I don't know, and I probably want to know! So tell me something that you know I want to know!" I asked.

"Well," Kairi said composing herself. "It sounds to me that you're more frustrated than annoyed or angry."

"And?"

"You have a crush on Tai!" Agumon laughed.

"What!? No way in hell do I have a thing for another guy! I don't swing that way!" I cried.

"Say what you want. Doesn't fight the fact that you like him. Besides when have you thought of Tai as 'another guy'?" Gatomon purred as she hopped onto the bed and curled up staring at me. I tried to answer, but I couldn't think of anything. My words were caught at her answer. Tai wasn't 'another guy'. He was my best friend. Pretty much my opposite. Where I was musically inclined, he was athletically inclined. Where I was light and blonde, he was tan and brunette. Where I was more Metro, he was more masculine. Still we had things in common. Both big brothers, both DigiDestined, both stubborn, both were with Sora, both like junk food.

The more I thought about it, the more I let it sink in. I loved Tai. His leader-like persona, his don't worry attitude, how I could be me around him. I didn't have to hide who I was with him. Then I began to think of all our little fights, and…it excited me. Him pinning me down, him grabbing me, being against me. I stopped my thoughts. I wanted him.

"Matt?" Kairi said breaking me from my thoughts. "You 'k?"

"Yeah." I said smiling. "Thank you guys. I've gotta apologize to Tai."

I got up and now knew why I was so angry. I didn't understand what I was feeling, I didn't let it show. It built up. Tai being so Tai didn't help either. I kept loving him more and not letting myself let I sink in. Now I was in front of Tai's door. I felt so nervous. How could I tell him? What if he didn't…no he doesn't. He's not gay. How could I have not thought about that? I knocked on his door.

"Matt?" he said when he opened the door. He looked surprised, and so sad.

"Tai, I…I wanted to apologize to you. I…I wasn't me. I couldn't control my emotions, and I wouldn't let a lot of things seep in. I didn't mean to be mean to you like that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be mean to Sora either. I should apologize to her too."

"You gonna get back with her?" he asked.

"No." I answered and he looked up at me confused.

"Why?"

"I don't love her. I'd been fooling myself into thinking I did. I never did, and I've got to apologize to her for making it seem like I did. Anyway…do you forgive me?"

"Of course. You're my best friend." Tai said with his big 'don't sweat it' smile.

"Thanks Tai. I'm lucky to have you as a friend." I looked down as I said it. I wanted to cry, it hurt to call him a friend. I wanted more. I wanted him to be so much more!

"Thanks Matt…you okay?" he asked me holding my shoulders, trying to see me from under my hair.

"Yeah…I'm ok, it's been a long day. I've gotta go. Goodbye Tai." I answered him weakly. In my mind I kept saying, 'I love you, I love you, but why does it have to hurt so much?'

As I walked out of the building, I wanted to jump in front of a car just to stop the pain. Why did it hurt so much? I just can't win can I? I love him, he's always liked Sora, I've just gotta let it go, but it hurts so much. At least, now I know. Now I know how I feel. What will Gabumon think? Should I tell him? Should I tell T.K.? I didn't even think about how my family would think of me. How my band would think of me, how my friends would think of me. I can't win. Maybe…maybe I should kill myself. It sounds so simple. At least the pain would stop. No…I'll wait for him, endlessly, against misery. I'll wait, and hope.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, I went Emo at the end. Tell me what you think! R&R!!!