Hello Miraculers! Here it is, three chapters left before the end. Enjoy the chapter 10/12.
Good reading,
CHAPTER 10: Whenever you're ready
Ten minutes punctuated by heated arguments and screams: this was all Adrien could get after the bomb that Ladybug had dropped without any prior warning. At least, until the unthinkable happened...
"Tikki, spots on!"
The Ladybug Kwami must have been not far from them because Adrien could hear the distinct crackling of the Miraculous magic as it transformed his partner.
Running away. She was running away. Great!
She had just cut off their discussion in the most effective and brazen way she knew, during what was, perhaps, the most important conversation—argument—they had ever had. Damn it!
By revealing his nightmare to his teammate, he simply expected that it would help her to open up to him, and not feel embarrassed or scared by what she was dreaming about at night.
Thus he had not expected the cataclysm—no pun intended—that Ladybug's confession would cause.
Adrien's nightmare was a simple nightmare. Quite frightening though . But unreal.
Ladybug's nightmare was a memory. A memory-based on real facts! Real facts in which he had a starring role. That is until his partner decided to eject him from the cast list without warning him.
It was a metaphor, but that was how he felt: erased from his own script.
His hands balled into fists against his hips, his nails slowly digging into his flesh.
She had saved him. Him. But also, Paris and the whole world. So why had she hidden the truth, in favor of a lie, once back in the right timeline?
Suddenly, Plagg's voice reached his ears and drew him out of his torpor.
"She hasn't gone far: I still feel Tikki's presence. She must be on the roof or in the courtyard," said the little Kwami cat.
"I think you should go and find her, Monsieur Noir ," advised the Guardian, who had remained silent and unmoved by their dispute until now. "An eye-to-eye conversation seems necessary to conclude this exercise. You may remove your blindfold and transform to join her," he added calmly.
Ladybug sank, her back sliding slowly against the chimney that overhung the roof of the Guardian's home until she found herself sitting on the roof. She folded her knees against her chest and wrapped her arms around them, her chin resting between her knees.
She felt like a body weighed down with stones that had just been thrown into the sea. The weight of the secrets, the overdose, the burden of being the Guardian, not to mention the recent changes in her—very intimate—feelings for her partner, weighed heavily on her shoulders and dragged her down into the depths.
No matter how little she tried to open up to Chat, or to offer him a small part of herself, she felt another stone being added around her ankle and pulling her further into the abyss. It was frightening. She was terrified because she couldn't control her feelings and emotions, and the overdose wasn't helping her deal with the chaos she desperately wanted to avoid.
«I'm not Chat Noir anymore, I'm Chat Blanc.»
The chaos whose name, Chat Blanc , hung on the tip of her tongue like a poison ready to spread inside her mouth if she dared to tell Chat Noir too much.
«It was our love that did this to the world, m'Lady.»
And it spread.
«The simple truth is you don't love me anymore! So I might as well destroy you, me, our memories... Everything!»
Ever since she had confessed, just a few minutes earlier, her nightmares and what had exactly happened on St. Athanase Day to her partner, fear had overwhelmed her. The words had become difficult to form, the explanations difficult to give... So much so that her partner had lost patience while he claimed the clarifications that he fundamentally deserved to receive. That he should have received a long time ago. But Ladybug had let the future and her fears get the better of her and they had buried all reasonable thoughts about the present.
«You will always be Chat Noir to me.»
It was this thought that had forced her not to tell her partner about Chat Blanc. She didn't want to confess it to him, because she didn't want to reconcile her two images of him into one. She didn't want Chat Blanc's shadow to hang over Chat Noir's every move. Chat Blanc was just a ghost that haunted her nights and he had to stay that way.
"Milady?"
«Looking for my Akuma, Milady?»
A flash suddenly appeared to her: the image of her partner, dressed in a colorless suit. His hair was opalescent and his eyes were as cold as ice. She closed her eyes and quickly chased this frightening vision from her mind. When her eyelids opened again and she turned her head, her gaze instantly found that of the feline hero, the blue of the ocean, meeting the green of the forest in the middle of a storm.
"Chat! I'm so sorry...I didn't want to yell at you, nor to run away...I...I was overwhelmed... Please, forgive me."
The salty tears burned her eyes while Chat Noir's gaze was as soft as a breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees.
He slowly approached and sat down beside her, leaning against the chimney.
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" he asked, looking at the horizon.
"The truth is… I don't know…" she sighed, her shoulders slumping. "At that time, our partnership was new and I guess I was just afraid of all the real implications of those events. Bunnyx dragged me into this frightening future… You knew my identity and...your words...what you said… Something had changed between us in that reality. I think that...it scared me."
"Changed?" he asked. "You mean like—"
"Yes, that way," she interrupted him.
"Wow..." he gasped. "But...how do you know we were...more than partners?"
She gulped, her eyes darting to the roof as she hugged her knees tighter. "You said that to me…you said that it was our love that destroyed the world…"
"And since when do we believe what an akumatized person says? Don't get me wrong, but it's been years since it happened and you weren't in love with me at that time," he noted, his voice fluttering a bit. "Not to mention the fact that now, we can say that things are slowly…changing, and Bunnyx hasn't come to rewind things yet, has she?"
She cast him a hopeful look and shook her head. Fair point.
"You see. On the contrary, Bunnyx gave you her Miraculous to fix everything between you and me," he pointed out. "She knows how it's gonna end and I'd say, we'll soon be up for a happy ending."
"You think so?"
"I'm pretty sure about that," he replied sincerely. "I don't know why I was akumatized. Maybe Hawk Moth found out my identity or some weakness I don't even know myself, then played with me like with a pawn on his chessboard… I'm only human after all." He shrugged. "But anyway, whatever happened, whatever I've done or said, I know our love couldn't have done any harm. And I also know that I didn't mean all I told you that day, because it wasn't me."
"I needed to hear that. Thank you, Chaton ," she whispered, her head falling on his shoulder.
"Anytime, little Bug," he replied, head resting on hers.
Several days had passed since Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived in the year 1670.
Over the days, they had been doing communication and confidence building exercises, opening up a little more to each other.
The crisis had not stopped but they had found different ways to contain the effects. The piano helped Chat Noir a lot, while Ladybug seemed to find some serenity either by snuggling in her partner's arms or by isolating herself in the small flowery garden in the yard.
Of course, they were still arguing for no reason, sometimes going from laughing to crying or struggling with intense sexual tension since their little exploration in solo duo. Nevertheless, they were making progress and the Guardian felt without a doubt that the time would soon come.
"I would like you to use your hands to touch your partner's face and then let your senses guide you," the Guardian asked. "Without sight, the other senses are twice as developed and receptive. It's a good way to be aware and to perceive the other beyond appearances," he explained calmly.
Marinette's hands trembled in her partner's.
"I don't want to touch you if you don't consent, Buguinette . I—"
He stopped when she clenched his hands and began to move them towards her own face, giving him without a word the permission to touch it with his fingers.
Delicately, Chat Noir began to trace with his thumb an invisible outline where her spotted mask usually rested. She shivered at the contact of his naked skin against hers and his infinitely soft and tender caress.
In her turn, she put her hands on the hero's cheeks, tracing with slowness the outline of the blindfold.
Soon, their hands were running over each other's faces, becoming familiar with their features in a completely new way.
Marinette then let her hands run gently along his arms. They were firm and muscular. She felt goosebumps rise on his soft and warm skin, in response to her gentle caresses.
Art by Tcr
Chat Noir instinctively moved closer to her and as if attracted by a magnet, she did the same, their faces a mere millimeter apart. The hero leaned in a little closer and buried his nose in her hair, while Marinette fisted her hands in his golden locks.
"I love your the softness of your hair."
"I love your hair."
A laugh suddenly escaped them, because they had spoken in perfect synchronization.
His scent was inherently familiar to her. She was sure she had smelled it somewhere before but couldn't remember where or when. And his voice... His voice sounded a little different without the transformation. It was something she had noticed since the first day they started wearing these blindfolds. Perhaps it was the result of the quantum masking of the Miraculous magic that was now dissipated.
"Your scent is familiar, though," Chat Noir whispered in her hair.
"It's because you're closer than you think without the masks," exclaimed Monsieur de la Fontaine. "I think it's time for another exercise and to say something new that your partner still doesn't know about you." The Guardian smiled softly.
"I'll go first," Chat proposed. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and she shivered as he pulled back and grabbed her hands. She heard him take a deep breath as he intertwined his fingers with hers.
"I've thought before that maybe you could be...the other girl. The first time…it was many years ago but...you proved to me that it wasn't possible," he whispered in a weak voice.
Was it disappointment she sensed in his voice?
"Despite this evidence, I unconsciously kept looking for a counter-truth. The more deeply I fell in love with this girl over the years, the more I looked for a rational explanation. I came to the conclusion that you could very well have fooled me with a mirage," he laughed softly. "And since then, I have never ruled out the very small possibility that she and you could be one," he confessed. "It's only one chance in a million, but I don't want to totally give it up…"
Marinette took a long, shaky breath. He was right. The odds were against it and somehow, that made her heart feel tighter than she would like to admit. The Ladybug's luck unfortunately had its limits.
"I didn't mean for it to sound like that... You have the right to take revenge on my fingers, I understand," he declared in a pinched voice.
Oops! She suddenly let go of her partner's hands, not noticing that she was holding—squeezing—them so tightly.
"I'll never be disappointed to find out who you are, Milady. Your name doesn't matter. It doesn't change the place you have held in my heart since we first met."
"That was very personal, but also, very brave of you to put words to your doubts and hopes, Monsieur Noir ," the poet exclaimed. " Damoiselle Ladybug , when you are ready…" He then proposed with patience.
Could she still say something after such a confession? The words seemed trapped inside her throat and unable to cross the barrier of her lips.
"Whenever you're ready," Chat Noir whispered. "It's just an exercise, m'Lady. Think of it as a Lucky Charm: you always find a way to get the result you want."
Right. If she had the opportunity to throw her yo-yo in the air now, what unlikely object would fall into her hands?
An umbrella.
That was the first thing her mind wandered to.
Adrien.
To her partner, this boy was a mystery that had remained well kept over the years. Marinette knew that sooner or later she would have to tell him how she had fallen in love, and why this other man remained a real obstacle to their relationship.
It wasn't too soon. And, if she didn't want it to be too late. It was now or never.
"Okay…" she murmured. The anguish that was bouncing around inside of her, coalesced in her chest. She stood up and started pacing the floor. "So…you see…the boy…" she said, forcing lightness into her voice, past the weight in her chest that was pressing down on her lungs. "I've never been able to tell him how I feel. Each time I try… I'm just stuttering and babbling nonsense," she admitted, almost pulling her hair as she kept pacing back and forth. "First I always was a mess around him, then over the years, I started to be more relaxed and act almost normally. But as soon as I tried to confess my feelings, my awkwardness came back to me like a rubber band that has been stretched and loosened...and...it hurts when it hits me right in the face," she sighed in a trembling tone.
She was startled when she felt two hands grabbing her shoulder and forcing her to stay still.
"Breathe and calm down, Bug. You're gonna make a hole in the floor," Chat Noir slightly chuckled.
Her shoulder slumped and she lowered her head.
"It's just that it pisses me off, Chat! Look at you; it has always been so easy for you to declare your feelings to me. It comes naturally to you. But for me… I need to make complicated plans to tell that boy that I love him just because I'm afraid he will reject me…as if it would change the result anyway," she mumbled. "I'm such an idiot. I even need to use a nickname as stupid as Buttercup, so as not to freak out talking or thinking about Adrien…what a great coward, and crazy heroine I make. I'll never be able to get this out and tell him the truth! Damn umbrella! "
"You just did."
"Excuse me. What?" whispered Ladybug. Her chest stopped moving as she was now holding her breath.
"You just told him the whole truth, Marinette."
She gasped, her knees feeling like jello and gasped again.
" Adrien… " Marinette quickly took off her blindfold and tried hard to remember how to breathe so as not to faint when she saw golden locks blurring her view. "But how?"
"Buttercup," he replied, "then Adrien," he added as he disposed of the blindfold, revealing two shining emerald eyes and a wide smirk.
The smug cat! she thought as her heart felt like a stone in her stomach. She'd told him about Buttercup years ago and she'd been totally oblivious to that detail. She hadn't seen it coming. Though now, it explained why the so peaceful and kind Adrien had thrown Luka right into the Seine after arguing with Marinette a few days ago.
"So… Marinette, Adrien; nice to finally know your birth names and to meet you," the Guardian greeted them with a gracious bow.
To be continued…
Next chapter on Friday, then the last one and the epilogue on Sunday.
Feel free to leave a comment if you enjoy the story. Thanks for stopping by and reading this.