Okay so I have this short little one-shot not even two pages, but I love the snark in the beginning and the ending lines so I thought what the heck!
Title: Abyss
Summary: "If you stare long enough into the abyss the abyss stares back." Nietzsche.
Rating: G
Spoliers: None
AN: Warren is an actual person that I saw interviewed from Australia Thanks to silentflux who continues to put up with my random e-mails.
"Where are you going again?"
"The Adirondack Mountains of New York." Chase's voice was full of longing and excitement. "Just Warren and me and the mountains."
House cocked his head a bit to the side, "So you and this 'friend'," House drawled the word so that it dripped with innuendo, "Warren are going to be climbing up into the chilly mountains and sharing a tent no doubt. Brokeback Mountain much?"
Chase shook his head laughing. Nothing was going to ruin this day -- two more hours and he was free -- no sense in not teasing House a bit before he leaves. "Yeah, it's too bad that the chains didn't make the weight limit."
House's eyes bug a bit and he curses himself because there is just no response to that level of snark. He also feels a bit proud...oh wait, there's the response. House wipes a fake tear and sniffs obnoxiously. "Oh my baby is all grown up, leaving the nest and experimenting with S and M. Just make sure you have a good safe word."
Chase just looks back unflustered. "We like to use House, kills the mood dead."
Damn. The boy was getting good.
"Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to do one last round in ICU before I'm off." Chase walked off feeling like he'd already climbed Everest and beat it.
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The the team sans Chase was sitting around the table with House leaning against the counter in a rare moment of camaraderie when a man pushed open the glass door to Diagnostics. "I'm looking for Dr. Robert Chase. Is he here?" His wheel chair made a clinking sound as it brushed past the glass door. Everyone's eyes were drawn to where his legs should have been and weren't. When he caught them, House didn't even bother to seem apologetic. The man didn't seem to mind.
"They got crushed in a rock slide while I was mountain climbing."
"There seems to be lot of that going around. Perhaps you should warn your wombat friend before he too is crushed."
The man in the chair laughed, "That's funny mate. Rob was with me when it happened. We go way back. Been mates since we were walking." He didn't seem to see the humor of the statement.
House's eyes lit up in knowledge. "You're his friend Warren that he's going climbing with."
"Yeah, it's bound to be a blast."
Cameron cocked her head at him curiously. "How exactly does that work? You climbing?"
"Oh I have the artificial legs, they work great." He waved dismissively.
"So what? Your legs get crushed, Chase is there and you still go? Moron much?"
Warren laughs again, not thrown off by House's lack of understanding. "Let me tell you a story, mate. Rob, about oh 10 years ago, was on a week long climb, and pulled a terrible zipper fall. Those usually result in a broken back. Somehow he managed to wrap his arm in the slack. It saved his back but compound fractured his arm. He sends up a flare and after a day, realizes that no one is coming, at least not soon enough. He does a rough set of his arm straps it to his chest and climbs the whole damn mountain one handed.
"Rob's one of the toughest sons of bitches out there. Ever since then this thing happens when he climbs. It's like the world narrows down to him versus the mountain. He gets absolutely terrified, but he won't back down. Five years back we did a major climb -- oxygen tanks, the works -- and two people got injured and we had to turn back, but Rob wouldn't -- he just unclipped himself and kept going. No one thought he would make it back down. But somehow he did." Everyone was listening raptly to Warren's story, bug-eyed and disbelieving.
"I'll let you in on a secret mate, when Rob was on that mountain, he stared into the abyss and, mate," Warren pauses, "the abyss blinked first."
Chase appeared at the door, but rather than come in, he tapped on the glass and hurried to catch the elevator for them. He didn't want to be there a moment longer than necessary. Warren wheeled out, leaving behind a team that might have just gained a bit more respect for their colleague.