Chapter 14

xxxxxxxxxxxxx- passage of time

italics - thoughts or memories

Warnings: none

(Galadriel)

My granddaughter…

I looked down to see her looking up at me with her shining eyes.

Her mother's eyes.

She has the dark hair of her father's people, and of mine, the Noldor, yet in the sunlight it glistens with the silver of her mother's hair, the color of the Sindar, the people of my husband.

I looked into her searching eyes and let her see the image of her mother that had haunted her all her life, but cannot remember. She saw now her face as I remember her: glinting silver hair, wide white-grey eyes, delicate nose, small mouth and pointed chin.

So alike they were, my daughters, yet she was as delicate as a young sapling of the silver birch tree, for which she was named.

Nimbrethil.

(Elenna)

The Lady held my gaze, her eyes filled with love and also sadness. Then suddenly, an image flashed before my eyes.

/flash/

An elleth with silver hair ran laughing through the woods. She turned around to glance back at someone over her shoulder and I saw her face.

A fair oval face with a pointed chin was framed by her flashing silver hair. Her eyes shone white-grey with mirth, her nose was small and delicate and her mouth was stretched in a warm smile, looking directly into my eyes.

/flash/

I felt I knew this elleth, she looked so familiar, yet not so.

"It is yourself you see in her, child." the Lady said softly to me. "You are the living image of her."

"My mother?" I said uncertainly. The Lady made no reply, but after a moment she gave a slight nod.

The hall was silent, even the muttering had ceased. The room glowed with the soft light given off by the small lanterns hanging from the pillars.

I looked back at Haldir, who still held my hand in his. His face wore a passive expression that I could not decipher.

It was the Lord Celeborn who broke the silence at last.

"Come friends," he said warmly, "let us celebrate this joyful day, a day of union, of a couple and of a family. Let us drink to this happy occasion!"

At this, the guests raised their cups in a toast and drank. After that, happy laughter and talk broke out again amongst the guests. I felt a tug on my hand and found myself led by Haldir back to the high table, where sat the Lord and Lady having returned to their seats before us. The Lady smiled at me, and I suddenly had a feeling of closeness with her.

Throughout the feast, we were often approached with heartfelt congratulations. Rumil and Orophin also took the chance to come to talk with us.

"My lady." they said politely, grinning widely and dropping into a deep bow so low that it would have sent them toppling to the floor had they gone any lower. I laughed at their antics while Haldir only frowned.

"Now brother," Rumil said, seeing Haldir's expression. "You shouldn't frown so much, it is unbecoming."

"It is rather hard not to when your brothers are making a fool of themselves." Haldir replied.

"Us? Making a fool of ourselves? How you wound us, brother." replied Rumil, feigning a hurt look on his face, which only made Haldir frown more.

I laughed again. "Come Haldir." I said, taking hold of his hand in mine, "they do no harm. Eat, drink, be merry! It is a joyous day." I smiled at him and his face softened into a loving smile. I rose from the table and let go of his hands, he gave me a questioning look but I only smiled and left the high table quietly, slipping away to the open terrace to the left side of the hall. He did not follow.

Cheery music drifted in from the hall, yet it sounded distant to my ears. I looked down upon the city. The soft lights of gold and green lit the darkness as it did the night I first came to Caras Galadhon. Nothing has changed, yet everything has. Time leaves no stain upon the woods of Lothlorien, yet it has left a stain upon my heart. For good or evil, I know not, but I regret none that has come to pass in this wood. Here I have found great joy, for here I have found…my family.

So I was, I am, Elenna, daughter of Aranwë and Nimbrethil, granddaughter of the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien. Nimbrethil was my mother.

Nimbrethil.

/flash/

I was playing in a roomy hallway. The twilight sun shone through the open windows. The sound of water, falling water could be heard, echoing through the lush green valley. I was in a great house, built against its steep sides and its many white waterfalls.

"Nimbrethil!" called a rich deep voice.

"My lord!" exclaimed a familiar gentle voice. Where have I heard it before?

A woman with silver hair, dressed in blue as dark and as velvety as the night sky, appeared in the doorway.

"Come little one, your father is home, will you not greet him?" she said, smiling to me.

/flash/

My heart filled with a strange longing for that homely green valley with its white falls. Perhaps they are still there, my mother and my father, in that great house built in the cradle of the valley.

"They are not there."

I turned to see the Lady standing behind me. I gave her a small curtsey, and rose to meet her deep blue eyes.

"They are not there." she said again softly, I felt great sorrow in her. "Nor will they ever grace its halls again." She held me in her gaze. I said nothing, but it was then I knew.

"They have gone to the Halls of Waiting, they walk now on the green grass of Valinor, until the breaking of the world."

Valinor.

I said nothing to this, nor had I anything to say. The Lady understood, and did not go on.

"I will see them again will I not? I will see them again one day, in Valinor." I said after a long moment of silence, looking up at her with hopeful eyes.

The Lady smiled, "In Valinor, one day you will meet, under the unfading stars." she said. I smiled back at her kind face. Thus we looked upon each other for long moments, as if, wordlessly, we were making acquaintance with each other again, and we were.

"You have such hope child, such beautiful innocence." She said gently to me. "Do not loose it." Her slender white hand came up, caressing my face lovingly.

"So like your mother…" she murmured.

"My Lady," I began, "Haldir has only ever named Lady Celebrían as your daughter, how be it that he did not know of Nimbrethil my mother?"

The Lady gave me a wistful smile. "There are few in Lothlorien that ever knew of my younger daughter, for few have seen her." She sighed.

"Your mother was born in Eregion during its days of glory, in its mighty halls, fair and lively with light, for it had not yet fallen to the shadow. My husband delighted in her, but it was Celebrían who loved her most dearly. Your mother and her, they were most alike in form of face, yet your mother loved the woods and trees, and did not care much for company of people. Only with Celebrían she played at times, while others she slipped away to the little creeks and rivers in the woods of Eregion.

Yet three hundred years had not passed when Eregion fell to ruin, its forests burnt and its halls destroyed, for Annatar had betrayed us and in the secret fires of Mordor he forged the One Ring of Power. Many there were who was slain that day in Eregion, and the Three that came to us were hidden.

So it was that we came to the land of Laurelindorénan, ruled by the King Amroth, to escape the servants of Mordor. Even then its beauty was unparalleled, and what people that escaped the ruin of Eregion stayed and made their home in its lush forests. Your mother above all loved its forest, but, like you, she was not fond of the city. So we built for her a talan, as far in the outskirts of the wood as we deemed it safe. There she spent her days among the trees she loved so much and seldom stepped foot into Caras Galadhon. When she did, she was often mistaken for her sister. Most that lived here thought me to have only one daughter, your aunt Celebrían."

At this, the Lady paused as if to think for a while.

"But did you not tell them of her?" I asked, "Surely you would not have denied your own daughter."

The Lady smiled again. "And what help will it be to my daughter? No, it was her wish to remain unnamed and unmentioned. She liked not attention or company, what were titles to her? Not when Amroth left the realm, never to return, and we were made its Lord and Lady did we tell of her to the people of Caras Galadhon. In any case my daughter was good at staying hidden from curious eyes, if any saw her it was not more than just a glimpse. It was she who discovered first the old guard walkways high above the city. It was there in the high talan where Celebrían would meet her when she came to Caras Galadhon."

There she paused again, but after a moment she continued.

"Long years passed, and my daughters grew into maturity. Then, it came to pass that Celebrían found favour in the eyes of Elrond Halfelven, Lord of Imladris, and they wed with great joy at midsummer of that year. Thus Celebrían went to live in the house of Elrond, but she could not bear to be parted from her sister, she loved her too dearly. With great reluctance did Nimbrethil leave the woods of Lothlorien, for love of her sister she went with her to Imladris. In accord with her wish, none there know of her save Elrond, and she lived there with them for many happy years.

It was there that she met your father, Aranwë, one high in the council of Elrond. He was one of the House of Glorifindel, a survivor of the sack of Gondolin, though not yet as old as Glorifindel himself, for he was but an elfling when he left its ruin. Your father had eventually discovered your mother's relation to Celebrían, and so they developed a great friendship, though after much trial. Your mother did not talk much in detail of their courtship, but I believe she was drawn to him as you are drawn to Haldir. In any case, there was no doubt that they loved each other deeply.

It was a happy day, the day of their wedding, and still none knew of Nimbrethil's true lineage– that she was the sister of the Lady of Imladris herself. They thought her only as a maiden of Lady Celebrían's, brought from Lothlorien, as she had appeared to be the day she arrived in Imladris."

The Lady then again paused, looking out over the glittering green and gold lights of Lothlorien. The gentle night breeze brushed by us, and the noises in the hall grew increasingly rowdier.

After a while she spoke again.

"You were born there, in the green valley of Imladris, surrounded by its white falls, lush green fields and the rushing cool waters of the Bruinen. Such a fair child you were, bright eyed and joyful. What was remarkable was that you were like to your cousin, Celebrían's daughter, as your mother was to her sister, though maybe the resemblance was not as evident as my daughters'. You and Arwen played often together in your uncle's halls as elflings. You were so fond of her."

She smiled at me, and I saw before my eyes another vision.

/flash/

"Come Lena, run faster or else adar will catch us again!" beckoned a young elleth with dark hair that was almost appeared black, flowing in soft waves down her back. We ran laughing through a green field towards one of the waterfalls crashing down the side of the valley.

"Wait for me!" I said gasping as she got ahead of me. "I haven't got your long legs Ari, I'm not as old as you."

"Come Lena, we're almost there." she replied.

/flash/

"You were the stars of your people, bright jewels of Imladris. And so you were named Undomiel and Elemmirë, for the stars of Varda that shines side by side in the night sky, one after the other. Arwen for the Evenstar, that appears first in the twilight, you for the Star Jewel that shines beside it when night falls. Already you were both so fair in childhood, and inseparable from each other."

The Lady was smiling absentmindedly out over the city. Sorrow again came into her eyes.

"But it was not to be, those happy times. Though Sauron was defeated and his servants scattered, it was not long until evil returned to Dol Goldur. All left of Sauron's servants hunted unceasingly for me and my kin, for you see Sauron hated me above all his enemies. He had tried always to perceive my mind but he cannot for it is shut to him. Long has he hated me, even since the days of Eregion. We perceived the shadow that fell upon Greenwood, and we knew that Sauron yet lives.

It was when your mother and father chose to return to Lothlorien with you that he struck. He sent his servant, one of the Nine, for this task. We did not foresee it. Ever he has tried to destroy me but he cannot for about Lothlorien I have placed my powerful enchantments, protecting my beloved wood. Imladris he cannot besiege for the power of Elrond dwells there. But my youngest daughter…he easily caught."

She stopped. I felt a sudden coldness travel through my body. There was a slight tremor in the Lady's voice as she continued.

"We do not know what happened. Then, we had not known what it was that dwelled in the shadow of Dol Goldur. It appeared they were waylaid near the Glanduin, many days from Imladris. We never…found their bodies, though I suspect the orcs had defiled them and fed them to the wolves. There was no doubt that they were dead, there was too much blood on the ground for them to have lived."

I gave a sharp intake of breath. It was a terrible thing to hear, though I had never known them. A chill seemed to be on the air.

The Lady sighed.

"Celebrían was much aggrieved; she forbade any talk of her sister though in her heart she has never been able to forget her. What little people that knew of her dared not mention her name again. So it was that my little daughter was forgotten, lost in the march of time… until today."

She turned to me.

"I dared not believe my eyes the day Haldir brought you before me, alive and grown into the very image of your mother. But when you asked me of your family, I could not tell you. I thought it best if you did not know, for clearly you did not remember the terrible thing that befell your family. What good would it have done you to know of their gruesome death? No, you were happier without that knowledge as you probably know now. It would have been better if you had not known…"

My eyes rose to meet hers.

"I am not afraid, milady." I told her. She smiled warmly at this. She took my hands in her own and pulled me into her embrace.

It was such a different feeling, so warm and kindly. It was like a mother's embrace, though I had never known my mother. She placed a light kiss on my forehead.

"Dear child, did you think I did not know you?" she said smiling again. "You would have never rested until you found out. Sometimes it is better knowing than to remain ignorant forever, at whatever the cost."

She lifted my face to hers.

"It is ignorance that is most perilous, knowledge gives us power."

I looked smiling into her kind blue eyes and she smiled back.

"I ask your pardon, Elenna, for not telling you." She continued, looking over the trees. "I thought it for the best for that time."

"You had every right, milady." I said to her. She smiled again.

"In any case, titles have a way of unnecessarily worrying people of certain things like…honour." She said. "Especially, a certain march warden." She looked at me pointedly with a twinkle in her eye. I smiled.

A deafening roar of laughter exploded from within the hall, disturbing us from our conversation.

"You better rejoin the feast, child," she said, "It would not do for a wedding feast to miss its bride."

I gave the Lady a small curtsey again. "I take your leave then…grandmother." I said uncertainly. She smiled.

"Go, child."

I turned and re-entered into the rowdy hall. It seemed that the merrymaking had reached a high point.

"Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!" an immense crowd was piled around a table where a drinking contest seemed to be taking place, but I could not see the contestants. Jolly music echoed through the hall.

I looked to the high table, which was empty except for Lord Celeborn, who was looking with amusement at the crowded table.

Suddenly I felt a pair of hands on my shoulder and I spun around to face an extremely cheery looking Rumil.

"Come Elenna, you must see this." He said. Then without another word, I was dragged through the crowd towards the table where Orophin stood beside one of the drinkers.

It was Haldir.

By the looks of the many cups scattered on the table, they had both drunk a ridiculously enormous amount of liquor. Both were looking rather flushed in the face. Rumil was looking immensely pleased with himself. Orophin looked slightly worried.

As I came to the table, the crowd grew noticeably less boisterous, watching me to see what I would do.

"How long have they been at this, Orophin." I asked him. Haldir had not seemed to notice me.

"Since you disappeared." He replied. "Rumil somehow managed to convince Haldir to have a drinking contest with Amdir. I have never thought Haldir could hold in so much liquor, neither of them seems to be relenting." He looked rather impressed. At this moment, Amdir chose to do a backward swoon, to the great amusement of the crowd. Rumil cheered happily. Several elves near the poor drunken elf helped him back onto a seat, but he seems to have passed out entirely. Haldir seemed to discern enough of this to stop drinking, but he did not look much better himself. Orophin had moved toward the unconscious elf to help him, and I held out an arm to steady him when he began wheeling on the spot. He looked ready to keel over then and there. He grabbed my arm to steady himself and somehow recognized me.

"Where 'ave you been Ranaew?" he said with quite a slur, several people chuckled at this.

"With the Lady." I replied holding on to him again as he made another slight swoon. He did not say anything more.

"You are much too drunk Haldir, you –" but I did not get to finish my sentence as he had pulled me into his arms and kissed me full on the mouth in plain sight of the entire crowd. His mouth tasted heavily of wine. Around us the crowd broke into a roar of laughter and started whistling and catcalling. After what seemed to be ages he released me, and stumbled backwards. He did not seem to be capable of walking anywhere at the moment. Thinking, I picked up a full cup of wine from the table and held it to him. Orophin looked bewilderedly at me but I shook my head. Haldir took the cup from my hand and downed it in one gulped. Then he fainted on the spot, collapsing onto a nearby table. The crowd laughed even louder. I could not help smiling. He looked so amusing.

"What are we going to do with him Elenna? He won't even be able to walk now." said Rumil worriedly. I glanced at him.

"This is your doing, you deal with him." I said. The crowd broke out in a fresh peal of laughter, several people clapped Rumil on the back. Reluctantly, he picked up Haldir with Orophin and began slowly dragging him towards the door to the hall. I watched their retreating backs with amusement. After they had disappeared from the hall, I made my way back to the High Table where the Lady had already joined Lord Celeborn. The noise in the hall had returned to normal and several people had begun dancing to the happy music.

The Lady said no word to me as I sat down, but only smiled again. I nod my head to her and started on the food. It was not until then that I had noticed I was incredibly hungry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time Rumil and Orophin slipped back into the feasting hall, the night's activities were drawing to an end. They had come in by the side door, but were still noticed by quite a lot of their friends and there was some laughter over how Rumil had brought about Haldir's involvement in a particularly spectacular drinking contest. Rumil immediately put them in their place by demanding the winnings of their wagers. Apparently, he had put a heavy bet on Haldir. There was a flurry of argument over this while Orophin glanced up at me and gave me a sheepish smile. I gave him a nod of my head as he made his way up to the table.

"He is in his talan, Elenna." He said, "Though I reckon he'll be passed out till noon tomorrow. He has drunk a lot of wine, powerful wine at that."

The scene of Haldir, drunk, brought a smile to my face and I started chuckling, which quickly turned to a laugh. I suppose the whole hall was staring at me as I laughed heartily, my head in my hands. Orophin couldn't help smiling also, and he laughed with me.

Some time later I collected myself and smiled warmly at Rumil, who had by then wheedled quite a bit of gold out of his dejected looking friends, and was now looking at me a bit worriedly, as if he thought I had been having a little too much wine as well.

"Come now Rumil," I said merrily to him, "You must tell me how you did it."

"Did what, milady?" he said, though I suspect, by the mischievous glint in his eye, that he knew what I was talking about.

"How ever did you get him to take part in a drinking contest!" I said exasperatedly.

He grinned wickedly. "Let just say he did it for the sake of his lady's honour." He said. Several people laughed at this. I smiled, but said nothing.

So, they have used me to get at Haldir. You never knew what those two will come up with next.

It was not long before the guest began to disperse, leaving the hall one by one after approaching me with good wishes and good nights (or in the case of Rumil and Orophin, apologetic words). Finally, there was only me left in the hall with the Lord and Lady.

"I thank you for this feast, milord, milady." I said to them. They looked at me with warm smiles.

"It is nothing, granddaughter." The Lord replied. The Lady stepped forward to face me. "We wish you happiness, dear child." She said smiling. I found myself once again in her warm embrace. Lord Celeborn watched us with a kind smile on his face.

"Dear, dear Elenna, you need not have these formalities with us." The Lady said softly in my ear. "You are family."

Somehow, her kindly words brought tears of joy to my face.

"Grandmother…" I whispered. I looked up at the Lady's face to find that she was teary-eyed also.

"Come, the hour is late. Go rest, we will speak in the morning." She said as we drew apart. I gave them a small nod of my head, then turned and left the hall, making my way back to Haldir's talan, where Orophin and Rumil had taken their drunken brother.

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The talan was quiet. Moonlight streamed in through the wide windows, swirling in milky patterns on the smooth wooden floor. I closed the door quietly behind me, and walked silently through the open doorway of the bedroom.

Orophin and Rumil had somehow managed to change Haldir into more comfortable clothing, and on closer examination, managed to wash his face as well, though he still reeked strongly of wine. I sat lightly down on the bed beside him. I could still see the flush in his cheek by the pale moonlight. His silvery-gold hair glistened, spilling over the pillows. I sighed. Rising, I took myself out of the room to a recliner by the open terrace. I lay down on the soft cushions, thinking over what had transpired. So much had changed in one day.

After a time, I felt the mithril chains of the silver diadem digging into my head as I lay on the cushions. I sat up. Reaching up, I undid it and lay it lovingly on a small table beside the recliner. I realized that I was still in the magnificent silver dress that the Lady had given me. I felt it best to change into something more suitable for sleeping, yet there was nothing to change into, for I was in Haldir's talan. Looking around, I wandered into the bedroom again, looking through drawers for something remotely likely to fit me.

After a careful search, I donned on a white tunic and some grey leggings that were rather loose on me. I adjusted them the best I can and then folded the silver dress neatly into a bundle, placing it onto a nearby chair. I undid the intricate braids in my hair, hastily running my fingers through my hair to smooth it down.

I felt weary as I have never been before. So many thoughts were swirling in my head, so many of them. I found it hard to quiet and repress them. I lay down again onto the velvety material of the recliner, thinking.

I had found my family at last, my family that I had searched for so long. They were here in Lothlorien, the Lord and Lady, my mother's family. But my mother and father, they had met such horrible ends. How did I escape it? I could not have been more than a child then, a very young child, perhaps not even pass my 50th year. How did I escape the terrible fate that the enemy had designed for my family? I could not remember at all.

And then there was Imladris, and my cousin. I would very much like to see her again, though I recall little of the time we had spent together in our childhood. I wanted to see again that green valley between the cliffs where I was born, and where my mother and father had lived in the house of my uncle. Where I lived with them for a few happy years.

Maybe the Lady was right, maybe I was better off not knowing, for it pains me so, this knowledge. And I sense there was much the Lady failed to tell me, and the feeling hangs upon me like some terrible thing that yet lurks beneath the surface of a calm lake, ever waiting, bidding its time until it springs up abruptly at its unsuspecting prey. There was some dark secret that this family held, something that made the enemy hunt them relentlessly, never resting until it had searched us out and destroyed us.

Every.

Last.

One.

I've been dying to write this chapter ever since I thought up this story. The angst is having a good start here and the story is definitely going to get darker. and more interesting... anyways enjoy!

Note: I have made a very nice pencil sketch of Elenna, so if anyone wants to see (finally!) how she should look like, please send me an email and I will personally send it to you -- I would put it on the web but I haven't had time yet. SO... there you go! watch out for the next chapter coming soon.