The Slide into Hell
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
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Responsibility's like a string we can only see the middle of. Both ends are out of sight - William McFee
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John was shaking when he dropped Sam off at the church daycare. He made sure Dean knew his little brother was there before going in search of Jim.
"John –" Jim's smile faded when he saw his friend's expression. "Come in; tell me what's wrong."
John walked into Jim's office and closed the door. He paced in the small room until Jim came around the desk and put his hands on John's shoulders.
"Talk to me, John. Are the boys all right?"
"He sees them, Jim. Sam sees the lights."
Jim's eyes widened. "What? How do you know?"
"He told me!" John growled. "He told me he sees them when I'm not there. And –"
Jim looked at him. "And what?"
"I asked him if they scared him and he said not yet, but they will." John sounded scared.
"It's okay, John. Just calm down."
"How am I supposed to calm down? Sam can see the lights!"
"John, listen to me." Jim put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "We have to stay calm here. Where is Sammy now?"
"He's with Dean at the daycare. Jim –"
"Sit down." Jim said, firmly.
John started to protest, but Jim glared at him. "Sit."
John returned the glare, but sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk. Jim settled in the second chair.
"Okay." the pastor sighed and rubbed his face. "We thought you were the only one who sees the lights around Sammy, but Sammy sees them himself. But only when you're gone, you said?"
John shrugged. "That's what Sammy told me."
"That's interesting."
"What does it mean? They're stronger when I'm not around? He's more perceptive –"
Jim had to smile. "I don't think it's possible for that little boy to be more perceptive."
John leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "Jim –"
"Sorry." Jim said quietly. "He said they'll scare him later?"
John went over the conversation in his head. "He said they would scare him some day."
"That makes sense. We know they aren't physical lights, but more like an aura. Your boy is going to develop abilities, John. That's what they indicate and we've talked about this before."
"But I never thought Sam would be able to see them. Does that mean he's already developing these abilities, whatever they are?"
Jim looked thoughtful. "Maybe so. Or maybe he's had them all along. He's very smart and, as we already said, perceptive. He's not like an average four year old."
"He's not an average four year old. His mother is dead, his father is a demon hunter –"
"And you've done a good job of protecting him from all that. He thinks you're a cop chasing the bad guys."
"Is he safe, Jim? These lights –"
"They're a part of him, John. You need to understand that. They can't hurt him because they are him."
"His mother died trying to protect him from something. This something must have wanted him for a reason. Was it these abilities?"
"I don't know, but that's a safe bet."
John stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"I have work to do. I have to figure this out, Jim. Will you watch the boys?"
"Of course I will, but –"
"I'm just going to the library. Don't worry."
John stopped in the daycare yard, finding Sam and Dean on the swings. Dean saw him first and got Sam's attention before running to where John was standing. He knelt down with a hand on each of his sons.
"I have to go off for a little while, but Pastor Jim is going to watch you."
Sam's lower lip began to quiver. "You're leaving?"
"I'll be home in time for dinner, Sammy." John said. He squeezed Dean's arm.
"Come on, Sammy. Let's go play and Daddy can do his work. He'll be back soon."
Sam nodded sadly.
John pulled the boys close. "I'll be home in a couple of hours."
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John sat behind the microfiche reader at the library looking for newspaper stories and other sources to support his latest theory about whatever killed Mary. He felt a renewed sense of urgency to figure out what happened because he was sure that, somehow, Sam was in danger. The only way to protect his son was to be armed with as much knowledge as possible. The weapons arsenal he had amassed over the last few years wouldn't hurt either.
Armed with printouts, handwritten notes and charts in varying stages of completion, John left the library a few hours later. He knew now that he was dealing with a demon, but had no idea how to defeat it. He was also convinced that it wanted something from Sam and it probably had to do with whatever abilities he would develop. John still didn't completely understand the lights, or aura, as Jim called it. He didn't know why he could see them when no one else, but Sam, could. It was interesting to him that Sam was only conscious of them when John was gone because he almost always saw them floating around his son.
He knew that he had to increase the pace of Dean's training because he would need his help to protect Sam. Besides, Sam was still too young to really understand what was happening. Of course Dean was only eight and, himself, not fully capable of understanding. In fact, John didn't completely understand what was happening. All he knew was that a demon invaded his home, killed his wife, and stolen any peace that existed in the Winchester family.
John saw evil everywhere he looked and that wasn't due to simple paranoia. He knew about creatures that should only exist in nightmares and had seen many of them up close. He'd even killed a few. It wasn't the life he wanted for his children, but he felt powerless to protect them from it because it was more important to protect them from what existed.
After securing his work in the trunk, John sat behind the wheel of his car suddenly too exhausted to move. He put his head on the back of the seat, Sam's face appearing behind his closed eyes. The little boy looked so sad when John said he had to leave, even though it was only for a few hours. He was already close to his brother, but the bond needed to be strengthened. Sam had to learn to depend on Dean and Dean had to learn how to take care of his little brother. John knew his search for a way to kill the demon would take him from his boys more and more often.
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"John," Jim began later once the boys were in bed. "I understand how you feel and I agree with your assessment, but I have to disagree with your approach."
John had just spent the last couple of hours painstakingly going through his research with the pastor. He knew his conclusions were correct, but he needed the confirmation from his more experienced friend.
"What do you mean?"
"You have to protect your children, all fathers do, but I don't think boot camp and heavy training is the right way to go about this. They're little boys, John. They'll discover the evil in the world soon enough; don't show it to them now."
"They have to be able to defend themselves. I won't always be around. And I know I'll have to leave them on their own sometimes while I work jobs and search for a way to kill this thing."
Jim sighed. "I'm going to put you in touch with someone I think will be able to help you. His name is Daniel Elkins and he's got a lot of experience with demons. But I'm going to suggest something to you and I want you to think about it before you make a decision."
John looked at him.
"If you're so determined to go after this thing," Jim paused knowing how John would react to his idea. "I think you need to leave the boys with me. Permanently."
"You've got to be kidding."
"No, I'm not. You can't be a father and do what you're planning to do. And you can't leave two small children alone – you can't travel all over the country with them. Dean is already in school and Sam will start soon enough. They're going to need an education and you don't have the time to tutor them – John, they deserve to have a normal life for as long as possible."
"You want me to give up my children?"
"Don't think of it as giving them up. Leave them somewhere safe; use this as your home base."
"I'm not putting their protection in anyone's hands but my own. I trust you and I know you mean well, but they're my responsibility."
"Then you'd better be prepared to be responsible for them."
TBC