Regina held up the record daintily, making sure she only touched the very edges, and smirked, "Either buy me a real pair of shoes, or KISS gets it."

Dollface sat bolt upright, attention grabbed by the hair.

Seeing that she had the upper hand, Regina added, "Or maybe you could pay for my flight home from this pigsty."

"You wouldn't dare, bitch."

"Last chance, peasant." Regina said, brandishing the sewing pin Gramma had handed her for mending her panties, "I'll let you keep your precious Destroyer, and in return, you can fix all my stuff."

Dollface was now glaring, almost intimidating for her size, and her hands were twitching,

"Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me."

"I'm as serious as a heart attack- oops!" Regina scratched right across the record, savoring the sound.

She dropped it, frisbeeing it out the screenless window she liked to smoke out of, giggling when she heard it shatter against Grampa's red truck.

Before Regina could react, her sister roughly grabbed her and began dragging her to the open bedroom door, "Let go of me, you disgusting creep!"

Dollface wasn't listening, it was like someone else was talking to her.

Regina ripped her arm from Dollface's tightening hand, refusing to be dragged around again, "It's just a record- there's millions more copies around!"

"Yeah, for forty bucks!" Dollface snapped, tugging on Regina's permed curls, "I'm still payin' off th'time ya came over an'wrecked half m'collection!"

Regina vaguely remembered coming to this awful place, where she was told she was this horrible little girl's cousin and went through the awful collection of records, then said, "Forty dollars isn't that much."

"Yes Regina, it is!" Dollface snapped, "I'm just glad ya didn't shatter m'first pressin' of KISS's debut album, KISS!"

"How original. They must be very creative."

That comment earned her a slap across the face.

Regina retaliated with a much weaker version of her own before she was thrown into a headlock, with Dollface shouting, "You take that back! Apologize t'Gene Simmons NOW!"

"You don't even know his number!"

"Gimme a week, an'I will!" Dollface screeched as they fell into a rolling heap, a tangle of curls knotted around her fingers.

After a few more seconds of struggling, Regina finally broke away.

"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't played Madonna like I told you to."

Dollface's eye twitched, looking almost dumbfounded as she struggled out, "M-m-m-mmm-muh…"

"MADONNA?!" Several flocks of birds went flying in all directions, startled by a loud screech of indignity. A few cows in surrounding fields raised their lazy heads, still chewing cud as something rattled across the dell they grazed in. Even a few fish changed directions, momentarily knocked off course by the distressing sound that came hurling down the river.

A train passed by, the highway roared as it always did, and Regina screamed, seeing that one of the few items that she didn't have to put in a barn for storage was held up over Dollface's head.

"No!" Regina shrieked, running desperately to where Dollface had ripped Like a Virgin from it's signed album case, "She even let me try on her-"

Crash!

Dollface slammed the black disc over Regina's head, causing both to go tumbling and kicking to the floor.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Regina wailed, mascara running in thick trails down her face.

"Say yer sorry!" Dollface screamed, throttling Regina by her perfect white neck, chains on her belt loops rattling.

"I'll buy you a new one!" Regina choked out, Covering her face with her arms.

She opened her eyes, surprised to see the attack had halted for a while.

Good! The stupid bitch needed to sit still in order to think!

Regina scooted up, hoping to escape. Barely even standing, Dollface's boney hand wrapped around her bare ankle, tripping Regina.

Regina fell head-long with a loud 'OOF', and grunted, propping her head in her hand, elbow planted on the pink shag rug near their shared bunk bed.

"Swear on Gene Simmons' tongue!"

"What? No-"

"Do it! Do it right now!"

Regina stifled a groan, going limp in a grumpy way. Uncle Sebbie told her that Dollface was weird and to be patient, but Regina was at the end of her rope now.

"Hell no, that's weird." Regina squealed, Dollface tightening her hand around her ankle so much it hurt, all strength placed into her cold fingertips, "Fine. Just let me get up."

Regina grunted to her feet and limped to one of Dollface's many posters. "This one's him, right?"

She pointed at Demon, a disgusting man with an even more disgusting tongue hanging out. If it weren't for that, Regina wouldn't be able to tell any of them apart.

As far as she was concerned, the clown makeup was tacky and served to make all four of them more indistinguishable.

"Not that poster." Dollface said, getting to her feet, "That one."

She pointed at one on the ceiling near the top bunk Regina had claimed for herself on day one.

Regina groaned.

Of all the posters in this damn room….

"Fine! If it means you'll stop hitting me." Regina looked up to the poster, "I promise t-"

"No!" Dollface snapped, "Ya have t'put yer hand on it too, otherwise it's meaningless."

Regina resisted the urge to strangle Dollface with her own official KISS bomber jacket, one of three she ordered from the back of a magazine Gramma would've killed her for reading and climbed up the ladder. She leaned over and put her hand on Demon's tongue and repeated after Dollface.

"I solemnly swear that I, Regina Cowatch, will buy a new Destroyer album after I ruined the first pressing edition."

"And that Paul Stanly is the hottest singer ever."

"Hell no." Regina said, "If he's anything like-"

"Apologize to Paul Stanly, right now!" Dollface howled indignantly.

"Fine, if it'll make you shut up." Regina said, "Which one is he?"

"He's Starchild."

Regina blinked incredulously, "I don't think we're acquainted."

"The one with the black star over his left eye." Dollface condescendingly said, as if everyone knew who Paul Stanly was.

Regina began reaching for the Starman's face, right next to Demon's disembodied head, cursing how fate had brought her to the lamest town in the whole world and then leaving her here with the weirdest, grossest, nuttiest sister ever.

"NO!" Dollface shouted, crossing her arms and stomping on a shattered piece of Madonna's Like a Virgin vinyl.

Regina winced, about ready to blow again, tempted to use her new found high ground as an advantage.

Maybe she'd stoop to Dollface's level and spit on her from up here.

Instead, she opted to climb down and nag instead.

"You need to take that poster down. I don't like how he watches me when I'm asleep."

Dollface growled, forcing Regina to comply.

"Fine. Where do you want me?"

Dollface smirked a little smirk, pointing at a concert poster next to the late Jimi Hendrix. Regina's eyes settled tiredly on the action figures Dollface had gotten from their second Cousin Mike and his wife as a birthday present.

Regina inspected each member, checking the face paint for Paul.

"Starchild's th'Singer, dumbass." Dollface nagged, "Take any longer and y'all have t'apologize t'Space Ace Frehly an'Catman for wastin' their time."

"You're obsessed."

"Yeah, but it's a healthy one."

Regina grabbed Starchild and said a quick apology to the action figure, feeling stupid for going along with Dollface's delusions, "I'm Sorry Mr. Starchild for calling you gross. You're really good at-" She looked over at Dollface, hoping she wasn't serious. Realizing she was, Regina turned back to the action figure, "-singing."

"Now apologize t'Catman an'Space Ace."

"You can't be seri-"

"Do it."

Regina narrowed her eyes, slamming Starchild on the 'shrine' Dollface had on display. He miraculously stayed on his feet.

"Hand on th'poster." Dollface nodded.

Regina tiredly placed her hand on the Love Gun poster Dollface's grandfather had found in the trash at some point and cursed her luck once again, grumbling out, "I'm sorry."

"C'mon, at least pretend t'be sincere!"

Regina rolled her eyes, then jumped when Dollface lurched at her.

Scared of being throttled by the neck again, Regina said, "I'm sorry for wasting your time, Catman and Space Ace."

"Great!" Dollface clapped, "Uncle Sebbie left y'all an allowance, right?"

"Now?"

"Yup!" Dollface was instantly cheered up, "They only got one more first pressing left. I was plannin' on buyin' it fer a birthday present t'myself since Wolfie won't let me borrow hers."

"You're insane."

"No I ain't!" Dollface smiled, "They close in a few hours, an'I was hopin' t'find some Twisted Sister while I was there!"