The day before present day (yesterday)

This past week has been weird. Yes, I think that is the right word for it. Work was busier than before, a lot of people called for booking lessons. Besides that, we have been organizing everything for Kellerman's. We need to be there in two weeks, and somehow I am looking forward to it. Hopefully I get more free time. So I can spent some with my family.

Johnny though, he got stressed, he was completely unbearable yesterday. I have noticed that I too have a stubborn side. Sometimes he pulls out the worse in me, but somehow when I react, I see his expression changing, and then something in his eyes changes and he starts to tease me. Who is he? If I look back at three weeks ago and at now, it like night and day. And you know, that did not even went unnoticed by his father.

I look in the agenda and see we are invited to a company party for a demonstration today. The phone starts to ring, and I pick it up.

"Castle's Dance Imperium, ballroom division, how can I help you?"
"Hey Frances, it's me Ron, could you come down to my office in a bit?"
"Sure, is something wrong?"
"Just come down."

I hear him laying down the horn and I look at the horn from the phone. I frown as I think. I hope it is nothing bad. What if I get fired? Should I get worried? I lay the horn down and stand up when Johnny came into the office, he looks at me and sees my face.

"You're okay, Baby?"

I look at him and walk around my desk. I see he is getting concerned.

"I don't know, your father just called to ask if I want to go down to his office."

I see him starting to frown.

"You think I'm going to get fired?"
"No, I don't think so, he told me yesterday he was very happy with you as my assistant."
"I wonder why I need to go him."
"I don't know, but please don't worry okay? I'm sure it will be fine."

I can see he wants to reassure me. I nod and inhale deeply.

"You want me to get something to eat? It's almost lunchtime."

I see him thinking and then starting to smile.

"Since Pen has a lunch date, we're on our own for lunch."
"Okay, I didn't know she has a date."
"Yeah, a guy we met a few days ago in a club, I don't think it's anything serious anyway."

I keep looking at him. It is the first time he said that he was in a club with Penny. I thought he just went home. Like I already told you last week, reader, now he is at his own place again, I am missing him in the evenings when I am at home. I think I got too much used to having him around. And him not telling me that he went out, it feels a little hurtful.

I know, I should not be hurt, he is single and is own person, he does not have to tell me anything. I do not own him. He sees my expression and I quickly look down. I do not want him to see that I am jealous. Not sure why I am jealous anyway. He steps a little closer and grabs my chin with his thumb and index finger. He lifts my head up and I look in his eyes. I see his smile and inhale deeply.

"Don't worry, I took no one home with me."
"It's your life, Johnny, you can do whatever you want."
"I know, and I got a lot of opportunities, but you know what?"
"What?"
"I didn't felt like doing that anymore. I've came to realize that it isn't the life I want anymore."

I look in his eyes and I see something there, but I cannot seem to figure out what it is. I have seen it before. Maybe one day I will figure out what it is. I inhale deeply and take his hand away. It is good to hear him saying that. It does mean he wants to change into a better man.

"I'm glad to hear that you want to change."
"It's because of you."
"No, it's because of yourself. So, since we're alone with lunch, what do you want to eat?"
"I'll call Gio and wait outside for you."
"Why?"
"I know what we'll do for lunch."

I see his smile again. I turn and take my purse. Then I turn back and look at him for a moment. With a deep breath I walk outside and went down the stairs. I must say I got a bit fitter since I am getting dance lessons. Also, I am starting to get abs myself, I am pleasantly surprised about that. I think about his eyes as I walk to Ron's office. Amanda sees me coming down the stairs.

"Why are you still here?"

I look at her and wink as I walk to the door from the office and knock on the door. The assistant opens the door for me and smiles, she moves to let me in. Amanda sees me going inside.

"I hope you get fired!"

I look at Ron and see him standing up. He smiles and gestures at the chair at the other side of his desk. I went to sit down as I keep looking at him.

"I know you wonder why I asked you to come."
"Indeed I do."

He is watching me as he keeps smiling.

"I'm not going to fire you or anything. I had a good talk with my son yesterday. It was the first time since the divorce."

I am not saying anything. I am wondering where he wants to go with this conversation.

"I'm not sure what's going on between you and my son, but I can see he is changing. I can see he wants to do his best to show me that he wants to do this job and that he wants to take over the company one day."

I start to smile about that. Yes, that does sound like he wants to change indeed. I am happy to hear this really because I know he is a good guy, and he wants to help others, and I know he does love his job. But I am not sure if it will be good if I would start a relationship with him. I love him, yes, I have come to realize this week that I love him. I first thought it was just a crush, then I thought I was only in love, but now I know it is more than that.

I know this is hard for me, but Johnny relies a lot on me to keep his part of the company running. What if it does not work out? What if we break up? I know everything will be ruined, including the company and I cannot get it over my heart to think it would be my fault that all of this would get destroyed because of a relationship.

"You don't have to say anything, Frances, I know it's because of you. Yesterday I saw my son the way he always has been, and I was so surprised about it at first. When he went back to his place, I started to think, I'm proud of my son, and he has been through a lot in his life already. I know he's not the easiest person to have around, but you seem to know how to handle him."

I am getting a little confused right now. What is it what he wants to tell me?

"He told me about your family, and how they have been so helpful, then he told me about meeting your grandparents."
"Yes, I didn't know they know you until we went to them last week. They told me about that you gave them private dance session for their fortieth anniversary."
"Yes, I did, and those times were one of the best I ever had. But it seems that they have not been telling you everything, I guess maybe because my son was around."

He inhales deeply and I look at him. He sees I am waiting for him to go on. I am curious about this story.

"I owe your grandparents my life and my gratitude, they're the best people I've ever known in my life, and I'm so happy to hear that they're still alive and doing great."
"What do you mean?"
"I never told my son about this, and I don't want him to know about this just yet, so please don't tell him a thing, I want to do that myself when I think he's ready to hear this."
"You have my word."
"After I taught your grandparents the dances for their anniversary. I think it was about a month after their last session. I discovered my wife cheating on me, well I already knew she was cheating, but it was the first time I caught her, she was having an affaire with some sort of millionaire from LA."

I think about what Johnny told me. That his father did not divorced his mother because of him. I wonder what more was to that. He sees my face and inhales deeply.

"I know you're wondering about certain things."
"I am."
"My son thinks I didn't divorce his mother because of him, that's actually true, but he does not know the real reason behind that."

I nod as I listen to him. I do wonder why he is telling me this.

"Well, I walked in on her with that man. We got into a fight, and it was a really bad one. It wasn't just a fight, it became a physical fight. And then she started to threaten to hurt my son, her son, can you imagine? I stopped her from going upstairs to get him out of his bed. Johnny was eight at the time. I did everything to protect him from her that evening. Which ended up in getting my right leg stabbed."

I gasp and hold my hands over my mouth while I look at him.

"I eventually got away with my son. I stepped into the car and my driver drove away. He asked me where to go to and the first thing that came up in my head were your grandparents, because somehow I knew she would never find us there."

Why did my grandparents never told me anything about this?

"Your grandparents took us in. Leo called the doctor to come to take care of my leg. They made sure my son had a room to sleep in. They did everything to make us feel at home and told me that we could stay for as long as we needed."
"How long did you stay?"

I feel a tear falling down my cheek and I rub it away. He sees my expression and inhales deeply.

"We stayed for a month, until I was sure it was safe for us to go back home. I know I should have divorced her back then, but I was scared, and she threatened me, so I stayed in the marriage, but she was not around much since that time. Eventually about six years ago I got the guts to ask for a divorce, and two years ago it was finally finalized."

I start to wonder about more than a few things now. I think about my parents, did they know about this? I would love to ask them about this, but I guess Ron could see what I am thinking. He starts to smile. I see his smile and start to frown.

"I think you've got questions."
"I do. Did my parents know?"
"Yes, but your father wasn't around because he got a big opportunity in Houston and for that he needed to go there for about a month or something. But your mother came to visit quite often with you and your sister."

Wait? Mom already knew who Johnny is when I told my parents about the job?

"Your mother is a master in keeping things secret, I can see she never told you about this."
"She didn't indeed."
"That's my fault, I asked her not to tell anything. I didn't want you to get the feeling of nepotism when you came for the interview."
"So my grandparents just went with it as well?"
"Yes, they did, and my son told me that he only could remember a familiar feeling, but he was very young and everything was a blur for him."

I see him still smiling while my frown got deeper. So, if I understand this correctly, my grandparents and my parents already knew who Johnny is, they still are in touch with Ron, they knew about my application and the interview, and I never saw any sign that could lead to their connection? I just failed myself so hard.

"I remember when your mother came to her parents with you and Lisa."

I snap out of my thoughts and look at him while I get curious.

"You were just a little baby, not yet twelve months, your sister was two and a half. I introduced my son to your mother, your sister and you. I held you in my arms too."

I see him starting to smile when he thinks about that moment. Okay, this is kind of weird.

"I remember when my son introduced himself to your sister, she was playing with her dolls, and he wanted to play with her. She told him to go away, she didn't want to play with boys."

I start to laugh about that. That does sound like Lisa when she was little. Her interest in boys started quite late, and I am still not sure if she is really interested in men anyway. I mean, I had my first boyfriend when I was fourteen, lost my virginity when I was fifteen, as you already know. My sister was seventeen when she had her first date. I guess she is a late bloomer and that is okay, so do not get me wrong.

"Yes, that does sound like Lisa."

Ron chuckles about it.

"I remember when he saw you the first time. I sat next to your mother on the couch, with you on my arms. You were so sweet, looking at me with a very thoughtful and serious expression, like you were judging me already."

I giggle, I hear a lot from my parents that I have that expression since I was a baby. I want to hear more. I want to know what Johnny did when he saw me. It is weird to think that we actually met the first time when I was still a baby.

"My son looked at your little face and the first thing he said was that you were the most beautiful baby he has ever seen."

I start to blush, why does this makes me blush? Ron is looking at my face, still smiling.

"And he said he wanted to hold you, of course with my help and your mother's help he held you in his little arms."

I see him turning and opening a draw. I look curious at him. I see him taking a picture and looking at it. He turns back to me and gives me the picture. I did not dare to take it at first, but my curiosity got the hand of me. I turn it and look at it. I start to smile when I see a very young Johnny holding me on his arms. I see his smile, and I drop the picture. Ron sees my reaction and gets a little confused.

"Something wrong?"
"No, it's just."
"You can tell me."
"I know, but I need a moment."
"You want to know how you got your nickname Baby?"

I look at his face for a moment. I look back at the picture and inhale deeply. Then I look back at him.

"How?"
"Johnny gave you the nickname, but I guess it was because he had a little trouble with saying your name, so he named you Baby. It got stuck."

I look at him as he tells me this. I wrote earlier that this is weird, right? Yes, it is truly weird. This is a lot of information to take in and I need some time to process this.

"You want to tell me what's on your mind? I guess this is a lot to take in, but I thought it was time to tell you the truth. You've been working so hard, it wouldn't have been fair to keep this from you."
"Thanks for telling me this, I need to process this information."
"I understand, but I'm curious about something."
"About what?"
"Why did you drop the picture as a react? Was it something I said?"

I shake my head a little. I pick up the picture and give it back to him. He takes it but keeps looking at my face.

"It's just his smile."
"What about it?"
"Johnny has a particular smile when he smiles at me. I never saw him smiling like that at anyone else. I know it sounds weird."
"The way he smiles on this picture, right?"
"Yes, it's a little weird."
"I can imagine, but indeed, he only smiles like this when he looks at you. He did that all the time back then, and I saw that smile the first time again when you came for the interview. You remember? We had a discussion and you stood at the reception. He looked at you for a moment before he went up the stairs."

I nod at that. I do remember that moment. I did notice his smile too.

"It's just weird."
"I don't think it's weird. When I saw him smiling like that again, I just knew everything will be alright in the end."
"What do you mean?"

I want to know what he mean. There is something no one is telling me. I think about mom when Johnny came to our place to hide from his mother. She has smiled at him. She did not look totally surprised to see him, yet Johnny seems not to remember mom. Dad was the only one who was so cautious about him, but I understand that now because he never was there when Ron and Johnny were at my grandparents' house. Though he had heard about the name, but probably could not remember from where.

I think mom has told him, maybe that is what changed his mind? I remember pops' expression when he saw Johnny, nothing of surprise. Same for nana. Is that why they are so open to him because they actually already know him? So many questions pop into my mind, so much information I need to process. There is one question I want to ask.

"Did Johnny recognize my mother and my grandparents?"
"He told me yesterday he could vaguely remember something and that your mother looked familiar. Same for your grandparents."
"He told me how he felt like coming home when he stepped inside my grandparents' house last week. He said he never had that feeling before anywhere else, not even at your house."
"I guess something has triggered that feeling. Maybe he hasn't place it yet. Maybe it will come with time, maybe it won't."

I look at the time and see it is time for lunch. I remember Johnny saying he would be waiting at the car. I stand up and Ron looks at me. I see his expression.

"I need to go. Johnny wants to lunch somewhere, and I think he's waiting outside for me."
"All right, have a nice lunch."
"Thanks."

I turn to walk to the door when Ron stands up.

"Baby?"

This is the first time he calls me by my nickname. I turn to look at him, he smiles at me.

"If there will happen something between you and my son, I mean in the love department."

I nod as I listen to him.

"Please, don't hold yourself back. I know I told you that I don't want my son to sleep with his assistant, because he's a womanizer, or was one because he told me he had no interest in women in that way anymore. I know you want to keep things professional, but please if there are any feelings, from both of you, don't hold yourself back."

I inhale deeply as I think, then I give him a nod and he nods back. I turn and walk outside. Hopefully Johnny has not abandoned me. So, basically, Ron gave me permission to do anything with his son if the feelings are mutual. Oh, come on, Frances! That just sounded horrible. But the permission is there, though I am not going to tell him my feelings just yet. I am not sure if he feels the same as I do, besides, I do want to keep things professional for now, or at least when we are at work.