Ok, so here is my next chapter. Again my computer won't let me edit this on the web site so please excuse me if there are mistakes with the lyrics not being spaced right or something along those lines. The song is Stay Gone by Jimmy Wayne.

Sara drove back to her apartment a few hours after her shift had ended. She had had breakfast with Mark at the Bellagio. They had talked about work, cases, the usual; nothing interesting came up. Mark had been a gentleman, paying and walking her back to her car.

Sara wasn't surprised that she didn't feel anything when his hand grazed hers. So she wasn't attracted to him in that way, big deal. He was a nice man, a man who liked her. It would take time for her to get over Grissom, she knew that.

I found piece of mind I'm feeling good again
I'm on the other side
Back among the living
Ain't a cloud in the sky
All my tears have been cried
And I can finally say

She knew that as long as Grissom didn't try anything, she would be fine. She was beginning to feel alive again, not trapped as she had for so many years. She still hoped she and Grissom could be friends. Nothing would have to change between them; they were already the best of friends.

She missed the days when he would stand too close to her while at a crime scene or touch her face to see if she was ok. Being with him was when she was truly happy. She had been depressed for so long, since she was just a little child it had been that way.

She remembered how her mother would smoke cigarettes all day, waiting for her drunken father to get home from a bar so that the fighting could begin. As a child Sara would spend her days walking to and from the library a mile and a half from her house. She had learned to read from an older woman who lived next door when she was 4. When she turned 5 she started school and began going to the library everyday.

Her brother was a lot older than she was, 9 years to be exact. He was a stoner and was on his way to becoming a crack head when he managed to graduate from high school and disappeared. Sara hadn't seen him since she was 9.

After her mother killed her father, the police searched for him but couldn't find him. Sara figured he ran off to Mexico, he always talked about it when she was little. When he wasn't high, he would take her down to the beach and give her swimming lessons. James was her best friend, her only friend when she was a kid.

Her mother was sent to prison for 30 years but died of cancer just after 10. Sara attended the funeral, she was the only person there; she was 24. She graduated with her Bachelors degree that same year and moved to San Francisco.

So baby, baby stay
Stay right where you are
I like it this way
It's good for my heart
I haven't felt like this
In God knows how long
I know everything's gonna be okay
If you just stay gone

For once in her life, Sara finally felt like she had control over her life. Grissom was her friend, that was all. No one she worked with knew about their past so there should be no explaining to do.

Sara unlocked her apartment and went straight to her bathroom, she needed a shower. She lit a candle before stepping into the hot spray; the scent of the blueberries filled the small room. Sara relaxed as she let the hot water run over her tired body.

After her long shower, she settled down with a new forensic mystery book. After a few chapters, she called it a night and headed to her room. She lied in her bed for another hour before she gave up on sleep. It made no sense; she hadn't been able to sleep since the incident with the box.

She couldn't help but wonder who could have taken her box. It had to have been someone at the lab, but who? The person who had found it was bound to have gone through it as well. They would know her and Grissom's secrete, the secrete they had kept for so long. What would happen if this leaked out?

Sara remembered what had happened at the Tom Haviland preliminary trial. The defense attorney tried to make Sara look like a whore, using Hank and Grissom to do it. So what if she had dated that scumbag paramedic, so what if she had wiped chalk dust from Grissom's face? It wasn't anyone's busyness.

But what would happen if something like that happened again? What if another defense attorney found out about her and Grissom's past? It wouldn't be that big of a deal if they were open about their relationship, but everyone loves a scandal.

I still love you and I will forever
We can't hide the truth
We know each other better
When we try to make it work
We both end up hurt
And it ain't supposed to be that way

Sara sighed as she rolled over in her bed. She couldn't get Grissom off of her mind. She had moved on with her life, given up on him, so why couldn't she stop thinking about him? She was afraid to see him in the halls; afraid that maybe he would say something to her. She didn't want him to be mad at her, or ask her to talk about their past.

She wanted their friendship back. He made her happy when he smiled at her. She loved hearing him quote Shakespeare, loved how he knew classical music. He would brighten her day up by quoting some book she had never, and would never read.

If she ever had a son, she hoped he would be like Grissom, intelligent, charming, heart melting gorgeous, a perfect gentleman, full of love. She hoped he would be a bit more social, not as much of a robot as Grissom had become.

Grissom hadn't always been like a robot when it came to emotions. Sara remembered how he had nearly cried as he told her about his feelings for her. He was so strong and yet so loving. Sara had seen the side of Grissom few people had ever seen. She had seen him at his best and at his worst.

Baby, Baby stay
Stay right where you are
I like it this way
It's good for my heart
I haven't felt like this
In God knows how long
I know everything's gonna be okay
If you just stay gone

Sara rolled over again; she wouldn't be able to sleep until she thought up a solution to her problem. She got up and walked to her living room. She dialed Mark's cell phone and was surprised when he answered.

"Hello?" he said, not sounding the least bit tired.

"Hey, it's Sara."

"Hey, did you enjoy breakfast?"

"Yeah, I did, thanks."

"No problem. So what did you need?"

"I was wondering if you were going to the Police Charity Banquette next week?"

"I can't, I'll be out of town. My sister is getting married, I forgot to tell you. I'm really sorry, Sara."

"Don't be sorry, it's ok. Really."

"I wanted to ask you to go, even before we had breakfast. My sister was engaged and they just set a date a few weeks ago."

"Mark, it's ok. I understand."

"I would ask you to go with me but I figured you would want to go to the Banquette instead."

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Greg Sanders asked me to go last week, I think I'll call him."

"I like Greg, he's pretty cool."

"More like pretty crazy." They both laughed. "So I'll see you when you get back?"

"Yeah, I'll be gone for two weeks, I leave in a few days."

"Ok, bye," she hung up her phone.

When we try to make it work

We both end up hurt

Love ain't supposed to be that way

Sara called Greg's cell but he didn't answer. "He's probably sleeping like a normal person," she told herself out loud. "Something you should be doing yourself."

Her mind drifted back to Grissom, Back to Boston.

"So…?" he'd said as they walked through a park.

"So…?" she had replied.

"I don't really know. I just don't want to go back to Vegas in a few days. I really love it here."

"So do I. You should come back and see it in the fall, it's gorgeous."

"Like you," he said, causing her to blush scarlet.

"I wish you'd stop saying that," she whispered.

"Why?" he seemed confused.

"I don't like it when people lie to me."

"I'm not lying, you're stunning. You're drop dead gorgeous and you don't even know it," he stopped walking and reached for her hand.

She turned around when she felt his hand on hers. She looked into his eyes and could tell he was telling the truth. He kissed her lightly on her lips before he walked on, still holding her hand.

So baby baby stay

Stay right where you are

I like it this way

It's good for my heart

I haven't felt like this

In ooh in God knows how long

I know everything's gonna be okay

If you just stay gone

That was what Sara wanted back. She wanted to walk lazily through the night with Grissom holding her hand. She wanted him to kiss her again, kiss her like he meant it. She wanted him to be there for her at the end of another long night at work.

Was that really too much to ask for? She had worked so hard through out her life that she had forgotten to live. She couldn't remember what her room looked like as a kid, couldn't recall why she had always wanted to go to Harvard, she couldn't even remember what her brother looked like.

These were all memories she had blocked out long ago. She didn't want to remember what her room looked like when she was little because that would mean that she would remember the way they looked with blood streaked on them. She didn't remember why she had wanted to go to Harvard when she was little because that would mean that she would have to remember what her parents looked like. She didn't remember what her brother looked like because that would mean that she would have to remember the way he looked when their father beat the crap out of him and he was left passed out on the floor.

Sara had blocked out so many memories from her childhood, memories she would swear to herself never happened. She could remember all the nights she laid alone in a cold bed in a stranger's house. Foster care had been horrible for Sara; she was always scared. If there had been a time in her life where she was weak, it had been in foster care.

She had told Grissom all about this once. He had held her as she cried into his chest; he had never asked any questions, just held her. How was she ever going to live without him?

I know everything's gonna be okay

If you just stay gone

Again, more angst. I promise it will bet extremely happy very soon. Enjoy this chapter because the next one is really short but really good and happy. Also, thanks to everyone for the awesome reviews!