FAMILY MANNERS
by Bil!
Rating: K+
Category: Humour
Characters: Hammond, SG-1
Spoilers: None.
Season: Late first season or early second season.
Summary: General Hammond rings Jack up when SG-1's over. Chaos ensues.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
A/N: This is just a silly little piece of fun. I welcome advice and constructive criticism if you feel like offering it and hope you enjoy.
"O'Neill."
George smiled. You knew he was military just from how he answered the phone. "Good evening, Jack."
"Oh, hey, General. Carter! Put that down! Teal'c, don't—" There was a loud smash. "Ah, crap." He sounded more amused than upset. "Yeah, you will be sorry, Teal'c. Sorry, General, what can I do you for?"
"Don't you people spend enough time together at work?" George asked in amusement.
"Oh, sure, but you know how it is, sir. Anyway, it's Daniel's—What was it again? Oh, some anniversary. That was the excuse they gave when they barged in. Daniel! No! We are not watching that! Oh, for crying out loud, what did I just say? Carter, take it off him. That's it, Captain! Surrender while you still can, Danny-boy!" There was a shriek and laughter. "Aw, Teal'c!" Jack complained. "Not your fault, Captain, you didn't know Teal'c was going to go all shol'va on us. Hey! Don't throw my pillows at me! Teal'c, that's an order! Hey! Stop! Stop, guys!"
Crashing sounds rang through the phone line, as if Jack had fallen over something. "Are you all right there, Colonel?"
"Peachy, General. Here, give me that, Teal'c. Yes, I can see it's not broken, no thanks to you lot. Treat my house with the same respect you treat me, thank you. Yes, all right, Carter. Stop giggling. That's an order, Captain." He sighed. "Treat my house with all the respect you should be treating me but never do. Can't you see I'm on the phone? Shut up and go away. General, you still there?"
"I'm here, Colonel." George couldn't kept the chuckle out of his voice.
"Sorry 'bout that."
"That's quite all right, Jack."
"So what do you—Daniel, no! I told you we're not watching that! Dammit, Daniel! Come on, Carter, we'll leave them to it. It's your move on that chess game anyway. Sir, if Teal'c gets It's a Small World After All stuck in everyone's heads again, I'm shooting Daniel."
"Noted, Colonel. Just make sure you do if offworld where no one will notice."
"Of course, sir. You can count on me. He says it's okay, Carter. Carter says thanks, sir. Yes you did, Carter, don't argue with me. Ah! Ah! Oh, siddown and make your move, Carter. So what did you want, General? Better be quick, before Teal'c disturbs us again."
"Marcy was hoping you'd be able to babysit Kayla on Monday. There's a teachers-only day at school but she has to work."
"Sure, no problem. But you have to promise, no emergencies on base."
He smiled. "No emergencies, Colonel, I promise."
"Excellent. What mischief shall we—Carter! That's my horse, get your own damn horse!"
"Losing, Jack?"
"Nah, just lulling her into a false sense of security. Oh, I so am, Carter. Hey, I can call them horses if I want to. Look, when they make them look like knights I'll call them knights. Does that look like a knight to you? No. Knights ride around on horses, they aren't actually horses."
An almighty bang sounded through the receiver.
"What the hell was that? Carter – you take your gun on leave? Well, yeah, okay, I know I do too. Come on."
Silence. George waited anxiously.
"Daniel, how the hell did you manage to blow up my brand new TV? I told you not to watch that movie!"
With a laugh, George said, "Good night, Jack," and hung up the phone.
Fin
© Copyright 2006