Too Late? Chapter 10: How Was I To Know?, a csi fanfic

Here ya go, yet another chapter. I'm not sure when I'm going to end the story, I'm running out of song ideas. Please please let me know if you have a song idea for me! Thank you to the lovely CSIfan1386 for this song! You're the best. The song is How Was I To Know by John Michael Montgomery. I suppose the song could be used by either Grissom or Sara so it's both of them.

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Sara sighed as she wiggled even closer to Grissom. They were sitting together, wrapped up in a blanket, on the front porch swing of Grissom cabin. Darkness had settled over the lake, as did the cold. Even though they were in a desert, the nights were cold beyond belief.

Sara could tell Grissom was drifting in and out of sleep and she smiled. She was perfectly content being in his arms again; she loved every second of it.

Well I hoped and I prayed, I loved you from afar
I cried, and I dreamed, wished on every star
But nothin' I'd do got me closer to you
So I locked all my feelings inside

Thinking back now, Sara had been dead since Grissom left her in Boston. It seemed her life had been on autopilot, she had been a robot. Now everything was different, she felt alive again for the first time in years. Grissom was the only one for her and she knew they would get married and maybe even have children together.

Sara wanted children, especially with Grissom. He would make suck a good father, even if he was not as young as he used to be. She could imagine him chasing a toddler around the house, picking the child up a whirling him around. She would watch as he read a book to their children as they lay in their beds, concentrating on his every word.

Their children would look like their father with their mother's eyes. They would be intelligent and would probably like gross things like bugs and would play with their father's tarantulas every chance they got. Sara could imagine going to a teacher conference because one of her children had brought yet another insect for show and tell. Grissom would just stare at the younger, asking her what was wrong with insects.

Then one night across a crowded room
You looked my way, your eyes held something new
You walked right up to me and smiled tenderly
And your words came as such a surprise

Grissom wrapped one of his arms around her waist while he stirred from his sleep. He soon relaxed and Sara knew he had fallen back into a slumber.

She wondered if he dreamed, if he dreamed of her? She dreamed of him, of the time they had pent together. Her dreams, once nightmares, had turned into happy lullabies. She no longer had to wish for a fairytale, she was living one now.

She leaned her head back against Grissom's chest. She could hear his heart beat a steady beat and could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest. The beat of his heart was her lullaby and she soon joined her lover in sleep.

Well how was I to know
You never let it show
What a beauty like you might see
In a poor boy like me
How could I have seen
You walk out of my dreams
Shine your light on my sleepin' heart
And into my soul
How was I to know

She dreamt of the day before, of how he told her he loved her. She remembered the gala and how handsome he looked in his tux, his gorgeous eyes looking only at her.

She dreamt of Boston but mostly of newer times. She used to rely on her memories from Boston to dream of her and Grissom together, now she didn't have to. They were making new memories together.

You took my hand and led me out the door
We talked and we laughed
'Bout all the times before
When two lonely people so much in love
Passed like ships in the night

Sara woke up and rolled over. Where was she? Light filled the room and Sara looked around. She was in the bedroom in the cabin. All she remembered was falling asleep outside.

"Gil must have carried me in," she finally concluded, talking out loud to herself.

"I did," he said from the doorway. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

"Thanks," she stretched and rolled over onto her side. She was wearing her pajamas she had put on last night, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt of Grissom's.

He walked over and sat beside of her on the queen size bed. He lifted the butterfly pendent from her chest where it hung. She hadn't taken it off since the party.

"I love you," he said, kissing her cheek.

"I love you too."

The only thing Sara regretted about their new relationship was wasted time. They had wasted more than 6 years they could have spent together. They could have a child in school already, entering the 1st grade. They could be celebrating their anniversary. Could own a house close to Catherine, Nick, or Warrick.

Grissom's stroking her hair now but she hardly notices. Was that what she wanted? A family, a house payment, a two-car garage, tuition to a private school, anniversaries spent together?

'Yes,' she suddenly thought. She wanted all of that. She wanted the perfect marriage, the perfect little house somewhere to the people she had come to love over the years. She wanted Nick to teach her children to fish, Warrick to teach them how to play cards, Greg to teach them how style her son's fair, Catherine to teach her daughter how to dress fashionable, Grissom to teach them about everything else. If they had a boy and a girl this plan would work perfectly, if they didn't, it really wouldn't matter. Sara would love her children whatever gender they were.

"Hey, Griss," she said.

"Yeah, Honey?"

"Have you ever thought of having children?"

"Yeah. Have you?"

Sara smiled. "Yeah."

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just thinking about the future."

It was Grissom's turn to smile. "About marriage and a family, you mean?"

She couldn't help but smiled again. "Yeah."

"So you like the idea of marriage?" he asked, playing with a lock of her hair.

"Only if it's with you," she said quietly, looking down.

"I love the idea of marriage if it's with you," he took her chin in his fingers. "Would you like to get married?" he asked.

Sara smile grew wider. "Is that an offer?"

"Yes."

"Then yes, I do more than anything."

He smiled and kissed her again.

She pulled him down next to her and rolled over on top of him. "So when do you want to get married?"

"I want to wait just a little while. I want a proper wedding, I don't want to elope."

"Me either. So does this mean I get to have bridesmaids and everything?"

"Whatever you want."

"I love you so much," she told him as she rolled him back over.

How could I have seen
You walk out of my dreams
Shine your light on my sleepin' heart
And into my soul
How was I
How was I to know

Oooh
Oooh
Ooooooooh Oh Oh

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