Mamoru

The sweet smell of pastries filled my apartment.

Usagi had once compared my apartment to a mausoleum—stone-like and cold, quiet and void of life. But now it was alive, thrumming with an energy that I had not felt since donning my black tuxedo. Since starting my new life as a "normal" man, I had eased into the comforts of solitude. Chaos no longer followed my every step, instead I was greeted by lazy mornings in bed, evenings on the couch with a good book and red wine, and small talk among classmates that ended in pleasantries.

I supposed I had forgotten how electrifying it could feel to be part of something.

They mobilized almost immediately. Even in the middle of the night, they had adjusted their plans to help find Usagi. The Sailor Scouts—Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako—they were back just as they had been so many years ago and had not missed a beat. With them came a bounty of supplies and positivity, an unwavering dedication to vanquishing evil and rescuing someone who meant so much to them.

Makoto was in the kitchen baking while Rei talked strategy to Ami on a laptop thousands of miles away. Minako anxiously cleaned, folding and refolding blankets on the couch, while Luna and Artemis racked their brains for how Usagi was taken from us. For hours they tossed and turned, each in their own way pushing the needle forward just a tick.

It had been nearly two days since she left my apartment, since she asked for a break, since I saw the smoke consume her and twist around her. I couldn't stop seeing Dimande's purple eyes flare against the black, a venomous sneer sliced across his too-pale face. The satisfaction he must've felt knowing he had bested me again, and did it this time right under my nose.

Her brooch sat ominously on the coffee table. Next to it was a coffee Makoto had brought me, the steam from it still billowing from the lip of the cup. Creamy clouds of milk swirled against a black current, melting into one another in a brilliant dance that smelled of caramel. The light and the dark becoming one. It had been my third cup so far that day and the acidity was starting to make my stomach turn. I flexed my hand to ease my jittery fingers and wondered whether it was the coffee or the uneasiness I felt surging through me.

Minako sat down next to me and draped an arm over my shoulder, her hands clasping down as a sign of reassurance. She had cut her long, blonde hair and she wore much more makeup than she used to, but her big blue eyes were still hers. She was stylish and sleek, exceedingly mature and put together, leaving behind long ago the girlishness and naiveté she once had, and it made me feel strange knowing she had changed so much and I had not noticed.

"You must be sick with worry, Mamo," she cooed. "I can't imagine what you're going through."

Her pity stung. I had not told the girls the truth of what drove Usagi from my apartment that night, and it appeared as though Luna hadn't either. Part of me considered it the right thing to do. If we were going to get her back, we all needed to work together to find a solution. Would the girls shut me out if they thought we weren't together anymore?

But the other part of me knew I needed to tell them—to come clean. I was lost without her, but it was a loss of my own making, and their kindness twisted that knife deeper and deeper with each passing moment.

"I'm okay," I lied, grabbing the cup in my hand. "I'm just focused on finding her."

"Tell us again," Rei asked expectantly, turning the laptop so Ami could see. "What exactly happened that night?"

Rei and Ami had also changed. Ami was still bookish, but she was definitely not as shy. Her newfound confidence poured into her command of conversation. And Rei was just as fiery as ever, even more so I'd say. Her spirit still burned with the same intensity as it had when she was a teenager, though now it was more pointed, calmer, as if she had mastered the flame's unpredictability to fuel her ambitions and not burn them down.

"You were here with her before she left, right?" Ami asked.

It was tugging again. I knew I needed to tell them what happened: the whole story, not the half-truths I had been feeding them. I took a long sip, set the cup down and cleared my throat. Minako, still holding my arms, nodded encouragingly while Makoto appeared from the kitchen with a plate full of fresh muffins.

They were an audience captivated, and oddly, they looked as guilty as I felt.

"We were here, at my apartment," I started. "And, she left to go home."

They nodded in silence, their eyes still pressed into me, as if they could tell there was something more to say.

"And, I went after her, some time after she left," I said. "And when I got to Tokyo Tower she was there with Dimande."

"I still don't believe it," Rei shook her head. "How is he alive again?"

"I'm not sure he is alive," I said. "He was surrounded by this thick, black smoke and disappeared into thin air."

"Like he's a ghost?" Minako asked sincerely. Ami shook her head on the laptop screen.

"Not a ghost. He had materialized enough to physically grab Usagi," Ami said. "But could it be possible that his magic has raised him from the dead—or at least, raised his spirit?"

"It's possible," Luna added. "Still, it doesn't explain why he was raised in the first place, and why Usagi would go with him without her brooch."

That damn brooch. When I saw it sitting there under the glowing red light, I knew it was a mistake she had left it behind. Every bone in my body knew it. There was no way Usako would go without it securely in her possession. Seeing it now made me feel helpless and small.

Makoto sighed and leaned up against the entryway from the kitchen and errantly rubbed her hands with a dish towel. Of all the sailor scouts, Makoto had been the one to change the least. Not that that was a bad thing—she was always put together and mature. A bit of a dreamer and a romantic, yes, but she was self-sufficient and driven. As a business owner, none of that had changed, though I couldn't remember Usagi telling me much about her personal life.

Makoto was looking out the window past us, a quizzical expression on her face. Outside the sun was just beginning to set.

Between the sea of buildings, the orange glow of the sun left a glossy sheen. Against the glass windows, it burst and reflected, casting jagged beams into the air. Purple clouds floated aimlessly by, drifting impossibly high up above us and yet so close. Soon it would be night—another night without her—and I felt a lump begin to form.

"Why was Usagi at Tokyo Tower by herself?" Makoto said. There was no accusation in her voice—not even a drip of disdain—but I could tell the wheels of her mind were beginning to turn. Her eyes cascaded over me with a knowing look. In the frenzy of realizing Usagi had gone missing, everyone seemed so focused on how she went missing and not the why.

The other girls turned their heads to me. They, too, were now starting to see a glaring omission from my story. Usagi had left my apartment and I had followed her, and in that time, she was taken. But why were we not together? What would make her leave before me, and force me to go after her?

My chest tightened and my mouth went dry. I dragged my fingers through my hair and felt the blood drain from my face. Shaking my head, I slouched in my seat and let out a deep sigh.

"She and I," I started, continuing to grab at my skull. "We…"

"What happened?" Minako sat up straight. Everyone was now watching me with an intensity that made me sick to my stomach. It was like they knew, but didn't want me to say, because if I said it, it would shatter everything that had happened, and everything that was supposed to happen. It would shatter what they knew of me, of Usagi and of themselves.

But holding the words in was a poison lacing my mouth, coating my tongue with vinegar and bile. And before I knew it, it was coming.

"We broke up," I said, my voice slightly catching on the words. "We broke up right before she left."

Silence fell over the room with an icy intensity. Each woman shifted uncomfortably: Minako made space between us on the couch, Rei clenched her fists on the table, Makoto's chest rose and her lips pursed. Even Ami—who was thousands of miles away—grimaced on the laptop screen. I could tell they were angry, but it was Rei whose rage bubbled to the surface first.

She stood up, swallowed hard and glowered at me.

"What?" She snapped. "Why?"

"It was her idea," I said quickly, as if that would spare me from their indignation. "She said she wanted a break."

"But why?" Rei threw her hands up in exasperation. "Why would she do that?"

"She said she wasn't feeling appreciated enough." I stood up and reached out for Rei's arm as if to comfort her, but she rolled her shoulders back and put herself just out of my reach. "She said she felt like she was waiting for me to marry her and that I wouldn't. She had been feeling that way for a long time."

Anger simmered from Rei and turned into something else entirely: Embarrassment. She gave a desperate look to Minako and then turned to Makoto, who were equally as shocked. Rei rubbed her temple and made her way across the room toward the window, wistfully looking out.

"A long time?" Her voice was small—a sharp departure from her fury.

"Yes," I said weakly. "I was a complete asshole for not noticing it. I was so selfish and caught up in my own thing—"

"I guess I was too," Rei said. Minako and Makoto looked down, hiding their eyes from mine.

We all had big dreams for ourselves, some we'd been fostering long before our turn as superheroes. And when evil dwindled, our lives seemed to open up in ways that didn't seem possible under the oppressive thumb of the enemy. For all we had faced, we became so close: A found family of warriors balancing life as regular people and as something so much more. The only problem with that, apparently, was the threat of evil seemed to be the thread holding us together.

Without it, we had become strangers.

Another dagger ripped into my flesh. Usagi had mentioned feeling lonely and distant, but I hadn't taken the time to truly understand. Not only did she feel slighted by me, her friends—the people who stood by her for years, who shed blood for her—had seemingly forgotten about her, too.

When she decided to break up, it appeared as though she had consulted no one, not even about her doubts. Or, possibly worse, she had tried and they had left her alone festering in confusion and pain. Alone she toiled with her sadness.

"I had no idea," Makoto sighed.

"I didn't either," Minako said meekly.

"She had called me a few times," Ami said through the laptop. "But I didn't have time to call her back."

"Me, too," Rei confessed.

We stood there, not facing one another, just gazing off into our own vacant space. The gravity of our absence soaked through us to the bone, carving open the truth. She had always been there for us, willing to stand by us in times of darkness, lifting us up in moments of joy. Life can—and does—get in the way of important things. It is a forgivable offense. But she had called out to us and we did not respond.

Guilt gripped me and as quickly as it hit, the tears started to pour.

Luna pounced from the floor and curled around my feet. Her tail swayed in the air as she nuzzled me.

"Mamoru," she purred. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"But I have to be." I sat back down on the couch and Luna leapt up into my lap.

"No," Minako said. "We've all made a mistake in taking her for granted, but we can't let it stop us from fixing it."

She was right. There was no use in sitting around analyzing what could have been. Dimande had taken her. Where? I did not know. But I was going to go to the end of the Earth if I had to to find her and bring her back home. And once she was back in my arms, I was going to do whatever it took to make her the happiest woman alive.

"You're right," Rei said. "So where do we start?"

That question had replayed in my mind over and over, but I wasn't sure. It's not as if he left a trail or clues to mull over. He vanished into thin air. I had paced the spot where she had disappeared from, my feet pounding the pavement as I desperately tried to find anything that might tell me where she had gone.

But it was useless. There was nothing.

"Dimande," Luna's voice mused. "When he first came to Earth, he came from the future."

We all nodded. Luna brought a paw to her chin.

"Could it be possible he came from there again?"

"What do you mean?" Ami asked, leaning closer into her computer almost as if listening to a secret.

"Maybe he's found a way to go back to the future," Luna said again. "And if that's the case…"

"Then Sailor Pluto would know where to find him," Makoto said, her voice clear as a bell. Light moved into the room, glittering through each of us like a beacon of hope. Why had we not thought of that before? Suddenly, there was movement again—excitement—the promise that maybe we had found a small kernel of her.

"And I know where to find Setsuna," Luna said, leaping from the couch.